Im going to the store to get cigarettes, do you need anything?
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Bye dude. Been a decent run.
Wait? What happened to him?
Car crash
One can only hope
Shad we miss you man what ever is going on deal with it the best you can
Miss you man
We should get more pregnancy post
We should get more pregnancy post 😜
Fuck off and die
yes
Thank you my Shadlörd, I will never forget you and the great art you made, whenever I cum I will think of you.
So is shad gone for good?
So long, partner..
goodbye, you will be missed
so long, Mr. Shadman.
Rip shadman u will be missed
Thanks for everything Shad. You owe us nothing more. Have a good one.
now we just have to wait 30 years and he will come back. Just ass my grandpa and my father did and I am doing with my son. (Familiar tradition shit)
Goodbye shad we’ll miss you
So long and thanks for all the fish.
I suddenly just understood why you changed the caption and what it means… goodbye shad :_(
I need you to stop with the ass worship
Is the big gay Shadgot gone?
Goodbye shad, thanks for all the work you did with your drawings. 😥
Yea I want a bad cheetos from the store thanks shad
I’m sad now
Hey Shad, just keep drawing whatever comes into that wonderful infinite imagination of yours. Thanks for all the great art over the years. Wish you the best.
if you’re going to quit drawing, delete your shitty discord too
This is the way shad dies. In a pool of demands for content ,Struggling to make way. He quits. His “true fans” don’t even notice. They just keep begging. Not supporting. I’m afraid his cigarettes aren’t coming back. Will anybody ever notice. Probably not. He’ll just fade the way of all truly good and free websites.
Fuck.
well said dude
:^V: That sucks.
Well this sucks
His True fans have noticed and have stuck up for him. You think youre the first one to make a post like this then youre no better than the ones begging for requests. You’re not special in the slightest and if you ever payed attention to anything going on you would see that people do care. You show fuck all support and are just here to beg for clout as you shit all over the community (both good and bad) that’s not just disrespectful towards the people who care. Thats just dickish to Shad himself.
His true fans will stick with him until the very end, until this website shuts down. We shall stick by his side forever. Trust me, there are many who stay in slience that genuinely enjoy this legend. Its the fucking autistic cunts that talk shit.
I knew you were a shit dribbling autistic cunt, it’s good that you’ve reached the point where your malformed brain can finally acknowledge it
Just asking, how would someone even support him? He refuses to do commissions, has nowhere we can donate to except I think for his twitch streams (which it seems like they were on a year long hiatus until recently), and the only things he sells are in his merch store which isn’t exactly thriving with new content, if anything he removed stuff from it over the years.
I’d buy high-res art packs, maybe exclusive alt/spicy versions of a single picture, even commission him a drawing or two. No issues with paying a premium either, since he’s very good, and he would probably make a buttload of money from a long queue of people who I’m sure would be very interested to commission him in the various styles he’s experimented with over the years, and gladly wait in line for the final result. Then, among all the commissions, he can also draw what he wants for fun and do the occasional request/giveaway.
But he doesn’t do any of that shit anymore. He clearly stated he’s not for hire, barely ever streams and hasn’t uploaded to youtube in a year, doesn’t have patreon/subscribestar or even a paypal or kofi where people could give him a fiver.
Requesting stuff in this cesspool of comment section or replying to him on Twitter is literally all you can do to interact with him or attempt to get him to draw anything, neither option providing a way to support him financially. I can only assume he has an IRL job to support himself, which probably doesn’t help with motivating him to draw, but he doesn’t take any of the options to make a living out of all of this again.
Please correct me if anything I said is wrong.
It is the year 2019. We’re now getting wet because of sleep paralysis.
Shad my friend I support you 100% Sending good vibes
VAMPIRE MILFS! VAMPIRE MILFS! VAMPIRE MILFS!
DRAW THEM PLEEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a beautiful nightmare.
NO DONT LEAVE ME PLEASE STAY WITH US
Can someone kill me this way please? <3
You will always hold a special place in my heart shad. You made my teenage years a tad spicier. I hope you find your cigarettes you deserve them
Yeaaa nicee
Where do you get your ideas?
Do miraculous ladybug
Can you do more spidergwen stuff its really good
y u delet i thot u likt us
This is taking the piss.
He doesn’t do that
He doesnt do pee stuff but child porn is ok?
Can u do a vore comic with moving prey in belly
You clearly don’t know shad. I don’t know why some of you people recommend that kind of shit. He doesn’t draw that. He rarely, and I mean RARELY, takes any kind of request at all
Damn papa shad
Papa shad noooooooooooo
I think shad just abandonded us
Can I see your ass
Stop deleting your posts.
I’m surprised nobody realized he’s taking a break. I’m guessing we won’t see anything new for a week or two.
Nobody? There is more or less 300 comments about this, your not so special
Post an extra panel of the sleep paralysis person farting right in their face please
Wow you are disgusting
Make a star guardian zoe fan art. Make it with all youve got.
I still didn’t get my peanuts
I love that kind of hair
Shadman you really need to introduce a character limit to yore website.
There’s so much disgusting men in the comments
lol get out of here
I can’t fucking breathe yo
Add me on kik at AlexRaul24 send me ass/dick pics
Anyone wanna get their dick sucked? I’m black haired and c cups and a decent sized butt, no scam I’m in LA
Sure lol
Sure lol
I’m 13 can I still get it
Bitch what
In the novella SHEMALE PRISON, an 18 year old sissy meets and older, more experienced shemale who teaches her how to be a sexy tranny in the special prison where inmates are shemale hookers in a secret brothel run by the dominatrix warden.
—
I knew deep down that if I went back there I might love it so much I’d never come out. I might end up as one of those shemale hookers or porn stars. After all, that was my main fantasy and had been ever since I first saw shemale porn. However, I knew that no matter how much I dreamed about it, I’d have to support myself somehow in that life and I was too much a chicken to throw myself into that kind of an ordeal.
Fifteen minutes later I had picked out my video. It was called “Shemale Gangbang Slut” and it appeared to center on a young tranny who became the centerpiece of an orgy, kind of like my favorite fantasy. I stared reverently as her feminine face all covered with jizz, her rock-hard nine inches, and her mouth twisted in ecstasy as she took a huge cock up the ass. I so wanted to be her! Actually be her.
“That’s a good one,” said a raspy female voice over my shoulder.
“Er… huh?”
“That movie. I liked it. I’m a fan of that genre. For whatever reason I just love the whole transgender thing—transsexuals and sissies and all. I’m Pat. What’s your name, honey?”
I took her outstretched hand without thinking, amazed how such a soft hand could be so strong. “I… I’m Peter—Pete—Peter.”
“Petra,” she chuckled, squeezing my hand before releasing it.
“I’m sorry?”
“Please forgive me. When I meet a pretty young man like you it amuses me to come up with a girl’s name. Sorry… Peter.”
I tingled with heady pleasure when she called me a girl’s name. I liked it. Just then I heard a muffled moan and my eyes darted toward the red curtain. She saw.
“Why don’t you go back there?” Pat suggested kindly. “I see you looking toward that curtain all the time. I saw you run through the corridor a couple of times. Why don’t you go satisfy your curiosity? Instead of dashing through there, stop at a booth and go in.”
“I guess I’m afraid.”
“Afraid you won’t like it and your fantasy will be blown?” She looked at me with affection, an almost parental, fond expression on her face.
“I think I’m afraid I’ll love it and it will become a reality instead of a fantasy.”
“And that would be bad?” she questioned doubtfully.
“Just… scary.”
“I understand,” she said kindly. She put her lips to my ear. “I still think you should try.” She gently took my free hand and dropped in a dozen arcade tokens. “First time is on me… Petra.” She winked.
She gave my cheek a gentle stroke and then walked out of the store. I watched her depart, the sexy swing of her generous, shapely ass in those skin-tight jeans. I wanted to bury my face in that ass! I looked again toward the arcade.
I stood outside the curtain and looked at the marquee box that showed all the movies playing back there and the booths they were playing in. I stopped breathing for a moment when I saw the video I had in my hand was one of them: the gorgeous, young tranny covered in cum and surrounded by throbbing dicks, including her own. It was perfect—I could see if the video was any good, get myself off, or… maybe I’d find myself in the middle of something I could barely imagine.
Screw it. What’s the worst that could happen?
The soft velvet caressed my face as I pushed through. I was momentarily blind as I went from the cool, bright fluorescence of the store to the dim, red-lit narrow aisle between two rows of video booths. Each little room had a dimly illuminated number, some more bright than others. As I slowly passed them I could tell that the brighter ones were vacant, because the others emanated the sounds of porno and masturbation, and sounded more… oral in nature.
Somebody is giving a blowjob!
Halfway down was booth 18, the one showing my movie. Before I even reached its door I knew I would go inside. Moments later I was sitting on a plastic bench in an even dimmer cubicle that smelled of cum, which fortunately was on the floor instead of the bench. There was just enough light to find the narrow shelf to set my tokens and the coin box that ran the video and made it play on the twenty-inch screen. I fed in a token right away.
The video picked up somewhere past the beginning, starting up in a sex scene with the young, light-skinned Latina tranny on the cover sucking on a nine-inch shemale cock while a black guy fucked her ass doggy-style with what looked like a ten inches of thick dick. Globs of white stickiness covered her face and large silicone tits. I couldn’t take my eyes off the cock in her mouth. My boner strained at my pants.
I didn’t think of who might come in or anything; I immediately took my dick out and started whacking off. Within two minutes I was ready to cum but then I looked at that stack of tokens and realized I could draw this out. Besides, part of me desperately wanted someone to come in here. A moment later, maybe three minutes from starting the loop, the video shut off and returned the booth to partial darkness.
I fed in a new quarter and was treated to the sex scene continuing. The shemale pulled out of the young tranny’s mouth and spattered jizz all over her lips and tongue, which she lapped up like a treat. I wondered what it must be like to do that. Would I get a chance to find out tonight? I glanced at the door and realized I had instinctually pushed in the button to lock it. I took a deep breath and gave the knob a slight twist. The click of it unlocking was loud, even louder than the film. Fifteen seconds later the knob turned and she walked in.
She was about six-foot but slender. She wore a hooker dress that showed off long, smooth legs and smallish feet in high heels. I don’t know if it was really a she, as in a shemale, or just a really beautiful crossdresser, but I had seen her in the store and seen her go back here many times. All the clerks seemed to know her; they all called her Kim. Her voice was androgynous, like some of those raspy actresses in Hollywood. Right now she looked at me with a desire that almost unnerved me.
“I’d hoped you’d come back here someday,” she said.
“You did?” I asked nervously.
“You’re one of the most beautiful boys ever to come in this store,” she cooed, stroking my face with a soft, feminine hand. “I bet you’d make an even more beautiful girl.”
I shivered with lust at hearing that. She looked down to my throbbing cock still in my hand, then to the video where the young shemale was now sucking a new cock.
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
I bit my lip and nodded my head, as shaky as I was excited.
“Do you want to do what she’s doing? Sucking a shemale dick?”
I nodded again, dizzy with anticipation.
“You have to say it, beautiful.”
“I want to suck a shemale’s dick,” I moaned.
Kim smiled at me. “I’m not exactly a shemale,” she said.
“I don’t care.” I leaned back as she straddled me and pulled up the hem. At least eight inches of cock strained at see-through, French cut white panties. “Oh my god,” I moaned, my mouth hanging open and my lower lip quivering in anticipation.
“Put the rest of the tokens into the box,” she said. “That will give us half an hour of light and a sexy soundtrack.”
With trembling hands I fed the remaining tokens into the coin box. Kim looked down into my eyes with a gentle smile as she pulled down the hem of her panties to expose a cock as big as the one the young tranny had been sucking. With no delay I opened wide and took it into my mouth.
The flesh of her dick was so very soft and delicate yet so very hot. I could actually feel the blood pumping through it with my lips and tongue. As salty-sweet flavor filled my mouth that I was afraid might gag me but instead I swallowed greedily. I was drinking down her pre-ejaculate and loving it as much as I was the feel of her big sissy tool in my mouth.
I’d watched enough cocks being sucked in my small porn video collection to know what to do, but I’d never given any thought to what this moment would really be like. I had been afraid I’d be grossed out. Instead my worst fear had been realized: I loved it. I was a natural born cocksucker, and I knew I was definitely going to be coming to places like this for the rest of my life.
“Oh, honey,” Kim moaned. “That feels so good! You’re such a good baby!”
Spurred by her words I took her dick as deep into my mouth as I could. I was so high on giving this blowjob I was barely aware that someone else had just come in. I stiffened but then I heard Kim greet whoever it was as “Tina.” A moment later a hot, wet mouth closed over my boner. It was a good thing my mouth was full of Kim’s erection because my groan would have been heard all the way out to the cash register!
I felt large, soft hands with long nails expertly unbutton my pants and tug them down, followed by my tight jockey shorts. Somehow Tina managed to keep sucking my cock while she removed my shoes, socks and everything else until I was naked from the waist down. Meanwhile I sucked Kim with such a passion I never knew I had, praying she’d fill my mouth with her cum. Then the door opened again.
I looked up to see two guys standing to either side of me, their dicks jutting out their zippers. They guided my hands to their boners. Now I was sucking a sissy’s big cock, getting a blowjob and jacking off two guys. One of them took off my shirt, making me completely naked, which I was ready for. I wanted to feel as sexy as possible. If there had been lingerie to change me into I’d have done it.
I eagerly put myself into their hands, so that when Kim said she was going to fuck me I allowed myself to be fully stripped and bent over the shelf that’d held the video tokens. A clean-shaven face burrowed between my spread asscheeks and licked my asshole while Kim unwrapped a condom and rolled it over her boner, then squeezed a foil envelope of lube on it.
“You want me to fully make you a sissy girl?” Kim asked me.
“Oh please, yes!” I moaned. “Fuck me!”
She started with one lubed finger, and then added another. I couldn’t believe how easily my ass opened up to her. By the time she had in a third finger I was throwing my ass back against her hand. I begged her to fuck me.
Tina, who I could see was a well-hung black shemale had leaned against the shelf in front of me and guided my hands around her waist, putting her uncut, foot-long tool right in my face. While I waited for Kim to penetrate me, I sucked on Tina’s ebony cock. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to suck down every drop of her cum.
“Little sister is an eager cocksucker,” Tina sighed. “What a natural!”
I started to moan my thanks when Kim slowly slid her entire big dick all the way into me. I groaned like I’d never felt anything so pleasurable. Meanwhile one of the guys took over sucking my thrumming cock. The other one rubbed his dick all over my face, leaving drips of precum. Just then another guy entered and started jacking off on the other side of my face.
Part of me wondered if they’d all been hanging out and waiting for an orgy to get started in one of the booths but I was too horny and overwhelmed with erotic rapture to give it much thought. So many firsts all at once, starting with Kim’s massive boner filling me up and setting my asshole tingling with an exposed, vulnerable, dirty feeling that made me feel like a big slut because I loved it so much. I wanted to get fucked up my ass every day and every night forever!
Tina’s made the second dick I’d ever had in my mouth. Her tranny cock oozed salty precum that made me want to taste the real thing. Like Kim’s cock, the flesh was so delicate and yet hot and hard at the same time. Finally, I’d never gotten a blowjob, either. The guy sucking me off had his hand cupped around my balls. Whenever I felt like I was going to spurt into his mouth he pulled off me and tightened his thumb and forefinger around the base of my shaft, stopping me from cumming. Then he began sucking again.
Soft little moans came from Tina’s mouth. “I don’t know what’s sexier: watching this baby sissy love sucking my dick or love getting fucked.”
“What’s sexy to me is I’m pretty sure she’s a cherry,” Kim panted, fucking me harder to my delight.
I moaned deeply and begged her to fuck me harder still.
“Is that right, honey?” Tina said. “Are you a virgin?”
I looked up into her face as I sucked her cock and nodded.
“Oh fuck that’s so sexy. It… Damn, all of a sudden I’m close to popping. Anyone wanna cum in her mouth first?”
“Go for it, girlfriend,” Kim urged.
“Open your mouth wide, darling,” Tina said kindly.
I did as she asked, my eyes squeezed shut but my lips parted wide. I was a little afraid of how it was taste but most of me was thrilled I was going to be a cum-drinking sissy like all the porn I’d watched.
“Open your eyes and look at me, darling,” Tina coaxed.
I looked and saw her big, spit-shiny brown dick pumping through her soft fist, angry purple head dripping clear, sticky fluid pointed at my tongue. It looked so sexy!
“You’ve never tasted cum before, either.” She said it as a statement.
“No,” I admitted in a tiny voice. “I haven’t. Not even my own.”
“Oh, fuck, that’s hot!” Tina enthused. “Her mouth is cherry too! I… I… oh fuck!”
A thick white, sticky cord arced from her cockhead and into my mouth, splashing onto my tongue and front teeth, and then another until shat felt like a shotglass full over cum was in my mouth. Without thinking I swallowed it just in time to catch a smaller spurt that partly coated my lips.
Tina’s spunk was tangy-salty, almost sweet. I loved the feel of it on my tongue. Instead of swallowing I pushed it around my mouth with my tongue, spreading it on my lips and teeth while I looked up at the grinning shemale with adoring eyes. That was when I heard the guy to my right groan.
“Gonna cum!” he gasped.
I turned my open mouth to his direction while Tina wiped the remaining drops of her cum on my cheek. The guy on my other side began beating off furiously. Hot gasps and moans tore from my mouth as Kim battered my asshole with her huge dick and the guy sucking my dick went for broke, not trying prolong my orgasm any more. I was barely conscious of the guy who’d been on my left stand next to the guy who was about to blow his load into my open mouth.
A tiny part of me was aghast at what I had put myself into— having public sex where anybody could walk in and catch me, swallowing strangers’ cum and eagerly preparing to drink down more semen, while I was getting a blowjob. This was crazy! This was dangerous! Yet I was way too horny to care.
Both of the men came at the same time, their thick hot cum splattering all over my lips and nose and cheeks and my chin, covering my tongue with bittersweet, salty jizz that I swallowed without thinking. I cried out as my own throbbing dick pumped my load into the man sucking me off, on fire with the feeling of sissy Kim’s dick sliding in and out of my asshole.
“Get out of the way, guys,” Kim panted. “One more load for our little slut. Sit on the bench, honey.” She pulled out of my ass.
My asshole twitching and aching exquisitely, my cock tingling and my balls throbbing, I plopped into the seat. I looked up into Kim’s eyes as she stripped off the condom and stuck her boner into my face. I licked the biggest globs of cum from my lips and took her re-pink glistening boner in my mouth, sucking it hard. Moments later I was rewarded with a deep groan and spunk flooding my mouth. Kim pulled back just far enough to give her last thick full spurt onto my lips.
“Welcome to the sissy life, Petra,” Kim said. She grinned at me with a sad smile, while she tucked her dick back into her panties.
All of a sudden I realized she used the name that Pat out in the store had called me. All of a sudden I got a sinking feeling. “Wh-what did you say?”
Tina and the two guys had stowed their cocks into their clothes, leaving me the only one in the booth naked—and dripping cum. When Kim coughed exaggeratedly toward the door, that’s when I knew I was fucked. There was no point in trying to put my clothes on.
Five seconds later, four uniformed cops rushed in. I’m guessing they sent in so many in case I resisted, but one cop was able to put my hands behind and cuff me as I knelt in the middle of the booth. I looked numbly up at the four grinning officers and allowed them to set me on my feet.
Stark naked and streaked with jizz I was marched out of the store while all of the patrons stared at me, some snickering and some leering and saying how they’d fuck me if they got a chance. What worried me was being seen this way out on the sidewalk, being led naked and degraded out of a porno shop.
I was relieved I hadn’t far to go as a paddy wagon was parked right outside. There was a creak as the back door opened. The cops led me to the door. I heard the click-clack of high heels coming up behind us, so I turned my head to see Kim following. A hunky, young cop poked his head out of the back of the paddy wagon and smiled at me. Seeing Kim he reached out and handed her a hundred dollar bill. She took it and walked away. I had been set up.
The young cop pulled me into the back of the wagon where three other cops sat on the benches, stroking erect dicks that jutted out of their uniforms. Standing in the very back of the wagon was Pat, who now wore a police uniform with sergeant stripes. She looked at me with approval as I stood before her naked and covered with jism.
“Petra, I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me,” she purred, making her way to me.
“P-Pat?” I gasped.
“Sergeant Patricia Dunston,” she said. “And your name is now Petra.” She nodded to the other cops. “Men, let’s show this sissy what we do with a sex offender.”
For half an hour the four male cops took turns fucking my asshole and my mouth, pumping more cum into my asshole and down my throat. All the while Pat had taken off her police trousers and was fingering her clit, bringing herself to several orgasms by the time her cops were done fucking me.
I lay there on the rubber mat in the floor of the van, covered with cum. Pat stood and looked down on me, clucking her tongue in mock disappointment and shaking her head with disapproval. Her cops all stood over me, grinning at her.
“Look at you, Petra. You’re quite a mess. We can’t take you to jail all covered with semen. Why… the other prisoners would never let you alone.” She looked around at her guys with an evil smile. “I think we should wash her off, don’t you?”
“But we don’t have any water in here, Ma’am,” laughed the young cop who brought me into the van.
“Well,” she said, squatting over my face, “we’ll have to improvise. Will you men join me?”
I didn’t lose my boner the whole time.
HERE’S THE WHOLE BOOK: amazon.com/dp/B00G2DL0AS
pee pee
Cum
What the fuck is this
It’s called a “book.” It’s what people did for entertainment before there was internet, video or movies.
Wow, so witty and original
Wow, as edgy as a cube of soft butter.
ok boomer
You’re in deep shit if an EMP or bad solar flare knocks out smart phone networks. You’ll go batshit crazy because you won’t know how to occupy your microscopic attention span. Readers, OTOH, have endless entertainment and education right at hand. Sad little millennial.
Dipshit ur on a porn site rn reading tranny trap prison porn. You have the high ground over absolutely no one.
Here, SHEMALE PRISON picks up a few chapters later from the point of view of the other tranny in the story: Rita.
* * *
Petra watched me with sort of a lost puppy expression. I was grateful she’d been in the holding cell— not just for the impromptu sex and affection but because her fragile emotions forced me to be the grownup and hold it together. At twenty I was only two years older than she but had far more sexual, shemale and prison experience. I was still reeling from my world being turned upside down.
COs Taylor and Lucas took us to the Intake area. I wished Mr. Perkins would come back. I was puzzled that they brought out cuffs and leg irons. I said there was no need: Petra and I would go docilely to our cells or a cell together. I said I’d reward them with a hot double-fuck if they put us together, but the two COs grinned at each other. Then Taylor went to the desk and brought back two jackets—prisoner file folders—which were supposed to stay with Central Records. Unless…
“What’s going on, sir?” I asked Taylor.
“There’s a new facility that opened up six months ago. Special place just for shemales and sissies so y’all can get your proper care and attention.”
It felt like a fist sucker punched my guts. Transfer away from Gaviota? Away from Mistress and Will and everyone else I knew here?
“Wh-where is it at?” I begged, hating the whining sound in my voice.
“You’ll see. Now get your sexy asses in gear.”
Five hours later we pulled into the sally port of a small prison nestled into the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountain range. Our new home was set in rolling hills of green and yellow grass, and clumps of oak and scrub. Off in the distance the snow-capped peaks of the great mountain range. It struck me then how isolated I was, how far from my Mistress and Daddy, how fully at the mercy of the system I was.
The in-processing was quick and efficient, young and rugged COs ran everything smoothly assisted by a handful of androgynous trustees, many who’d had plastic surgery to feminize their faces or regularly took female hormones or both. The intake procedures ended with us carrying small totebags of makeup and female toiletries the trustees issued to us instead of the usual bedroll I’d come to expect from jail and prison. Aside from the remarkably feminine trustees and the newness of the facility, it could have been Gaviota.
Finally a trustee who introduced him—herself—as Andie escorted us into the housing area. At nearly six-feet tall, Andie was dressed in snug denims but that height was the only male thing about her, because she switched her ass like a shemale on a prison mainline advertising for a new boyfriend. Her long black hair switched from side to side in a ponytail that reached halfway to the top of her ass.
“Let me put you wise to what you need to know, fishies,” she said. “There are two sides to this joint—the public face and the resort. The—”
“Resort?” I asked.
“Just hold your questions until I’m done, fishies. The public face is all on the up and up. The Governor could visit here tomorrow with a half-dozen religious freakpots and take an hour tour and never see anything other than straight-arrow. All the rules of any state lockup are in effect, as are the rules for violating. Snap?”
I turned to Petra. “Snap means we get it.” I turned back to Andie. “Copasetic. But what’s this about a resort? Do we get like massages and hot tubs and facials?”
“Silly tranny,” Andie giggled. “We are the resort. I’ll make it real simple. We’re a specialty whorehouse full of sissy and shemale hookers secretly running out of a state prison. We service elite clientele a coupla street whores like you could only dream of ever fucking. Politicians. Police brass. Ultra-rich business types and even celebrities.”
I came to a screeching halt, looking at Andie in amazement. “How is that possible? How can they get away with it?” I was so shocked I didn’t bother to correct her that Petra and I weren’t whores. At least… not yet.
She looked at me like I was stupid. “Fishie, didn’t you hear me? With powerful politicians, cops and businessmen coming here all the time, who in the hell is gonna drop that dime? Sure as hell nobody’s ever going to investigate.” She nodded her head and indicated we should follow. “Nope. As long as we keep fucking their brains out and the right wheels get greased, tranny prisoners will be fucking and sucking the masters of the universe until they get tired of us… which they won’t.”
“Oh, my god,” Petra gasped in equal trepidation and awe.
“Welcome to El Dorado Reception Center, Fishies.”
When Andie let us into our room my first impression was there had been a huge mistake, because it looked more like a slut dormitory where the two girls shared a single bed and spent a lot of time getting pretty and having kinky sex. Petra and I gaped at each other in amazement and then to Andie, who wore a knowing grin.
“Your room,” she declared. “Questions?”
There was a queen-sized bed in the center of the room with mirrors on the ceiling and two of the facing walls. Two vanities sat side by side stocked with every kind of makeup, from elegant to slutty. One of the mirrored walls were floor-to-ceiling sliding closet doors, loaded with clothing from slutty to elegant to fetish to costumes, including wigs. One wall had BDSM bondage fasteners, an X-cross with hooks for spreading someone and racks of whips, paddles and the like.
“Andie, I hope this doesn’t sound stupid, but how is this room supposed to get past an official inspection by clergy and other tightwads?”
With a pride like she had designed it herself, she walked to the foot of the bed, reached under and touched a switch. The bed split into two single mattresses and rolled to opposite sides of the room in tracks somehow hidden in the carpet. She threw another switch under the bed and false walls came down in front of the mirrors, closets and BDSM gear, and a false ceiling rolled across hiding the mirror. The room was now two feet shorter on each side and looked like photos I’d seen of a dorm in a women’s prison.
“You’ll get more details later, but it runs like any other whorehouse. Unless they want a specific girl or have special requests, when clients arrive the whores come out into the rec room and line up to get picked. If it’s you then you bring the gentleman or gentlemen—or lady—back to your room and give them their money’s worth.”
“H-how much money?” Petra asked.
“A thousand dollars an hour, minimum. Now set down your bags and follow me.”
Petra and I gaped at each other—a thousand?—before we hurried to follow her.
Andie marched Petra and me down the corridor and through two guarded gates to an elevator that took us up two floors. The top floor corridor was low pile carpet, soft lighting and seemingly decorated for visitors—important visitors. As she quickly escorted us past a receptionist who gave her a nod and pushed a button on the desk, Andie explained this would be our “audition” for the warden and her closest staff. It was up to us to make the best impression possible.
“Elisa is hard, but she’s fair,” Andie said. “By the way, never call her by her first name unless she invites you to.”
The warden’s office was nearly five hundred square feet with the warden’s desk at one end and two long sofas along one wall. The opposite wall was set with what appeared to be closet doors. I wondered if the closets contained the same kind of toys that Mistress Simone’s office closets did. Six male COs between the ages of twenty and thirty, all buff, athletic and handsome, sat on the sofas, which were near the warden’s desk. Behind the desk sat a beautiful, red-haired woman in her early forties, perhaps younger. She was reading our jackets.
Andie marched us down and stood us before the desk. “This is Warden Fordham, fishies. Show maximum respect and do what you’re told.” Then she turned crisply to the warden. “Prisoners Rita Minius and Petra Hartmann, Ma’am.”
“Very good, Andie. Stand easy.”
Andie stood at parade rest by the corner of the desk, facing us. Warden Fordham looked us up and down, nodding appreciatively. She turned our jacket folders to the Medical section.
“Strip,” she commanded.
In less time than I needed to tie my shoes, all of my clothes lay at my feet. I stood at attention, my breasts thrust out. Five seconds later Petra had caught up. A couple of low, appreciative whistles came from the sofa. I was tempted to glance but didn’t.
‘“I’d say my men are rather impressed with you, Rita. I happen to agree, at least as far as looks go.” She paused to review my prison jacket, turning pages and nodding thoughtfully. “Quite an interesting background you have. You will fit in well in here. I see you’re on female hormones, too. Excellent. We have a special regimen you’ll very much like.”
She put the folder down and stood. She was easily six feet tall. “Rita, I want you to stand two feet from the middle of the desk, spread your feet wide apart and lay your forearms flat on the desk. Yes, that’s it. Bent over like that. Very good.”
I felt so exposed and vulnerable, so when she got up and grabbed a thin bamboo cane she had propped up against the desk, I was suddenly very afraid. I knew just how much a cane like that could bruise and hurt. It could break skin, draw blood.
She paced back and forth behind me, her voice etched in subtle menace. “Let me explain your exact situation. Some very powerful men come through these doors, men who’d have you killed for even hinting you had sex with them. Keeping your mouth shut about whom you see and what goes on here is mandatory. This holds true even after you get paroled, assuming that I allow you to go up for release. When it comes to following the rules, doing everything we say, and fucking who we say and how we say to fuck… here’s a taste of what happens to girls who don’t cooperate.”
I barely registered the sharp hiss of air being violently cut by the cane before a stripe of stinging fire tore across my asscheeks. It hurt so bad I screamed and tears flowed. It was everything I could do to not fall to my knees with dizziness. I knew that best way to take any kind of beating is to breathe into the pain, to relax so that muscles tight with fear wouldn’t magnify the injury, so I loosened up as best I could.
“Impressive,” Warden Fordham said. “Captain Janus has trained you well.” She smiled down at me. “Don’t worry, that’s it. There’s no point other than pure sadism to beat a trained submissive who understands how things are. Just keep in mind that should you run afoul of my rules, you will be tied to a bondage horse and beaten with this cane until your skin opens and blood flows, until you pass out from the pain and must be revived so that the punishment may continue. You would then be placed into the most unpleasant Submissive duties where you will serve mostly those clients who enjoy hurting a girl. That servitude will continue for as long as the severity of your transgression prescribes.” Her eyes bore into mine. “But that won’t be necessary… will it?”
“No ma’am,” I said into her gaze, and then looked at the surface of the desk, as the protocol of trained subs requires. “May a girl speak, Ma’am?”
“Ex-cellent,” she said, pleasure in her voice. “You are very well trained. Yes, you may speak. You have permission to look at me.”
“Prisoner Hartmann, Ma’am,” I said, looking into the warden’s eyes. “She’s just a kid. I promise she will obey you and all the rules. There’s no need to hit her.”
“That’s very commendable, Rita,” she replied. “Looking out for a sister you’ve only known for nine hours and had sex with one time.”
She smiled at my look of surprise. “Don’t look so surprised. You don’t think we don’t know everything that goes on in these institutions? As for your suggestion, I’ll consider it. Now we have to get an idea of your abilities.”
As if on command all six CO’s stood and unzipped their trousers, pulling forth cocks where the smallest was seven inches and the biggest was nearly a foot long. On her orders I took position on my knees in front of the officer closest to the warden’s desk, a blond country stud with eight inches already starting to get hard.
The warden told me to suck his dick until he tapped a finger on my head, then I would move on to the next man. I was to use all of my blowjob skills on each man, to deep-throat every one that I could, to swallow their precum without gagging, and to get them close enough to orgasm to tap my head. I would have twenty minutes to work the line and how far I got would be used to evaluate my skills. Each of the men I sucked off would informally rate me.
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Dude what the fuck
She’s intentionally fucking his pages up by doing large post so it eats up his data space on the server he uses
But is it
A) A big ‘fuck you’ to shad for leaving
B) An attempt to prove shad is still watching by making him delete them
C) She’s playing shad ball and trying to earn those sweet 404 points
Or is it D) Free entertainment for people who enjoy reading and publicity for the book?
If the poster only wanted to eat server space they’d post far more, right?
SHEMALE PRISON continues…
—–
The CO looked down into my eyes with happy lust. His nameplate read, “Officer Hayes,” and he was so handsome. I gently cupped his balls and licked the underside of that pink-purple helmet where it met the shaft, eliciting a pleasurable gasp. Up and down the length of his dick I swiped my tongue, alternating between ice cream type licks and a dance of butterfly wings, keeping soft moans issuing from the back of his throat. Then all of a sudden I parted my lips and plunged down taking the tip of his crank down into my throat and swallowed hard several times. He groaned so deeply it made me smile inside.
I could hear the satisfaction in the warden’s voice as she complimented my oral skill. “In case you wondered how there could be a state prison just for sissies and shemales, it was decided in a courtroom. A civil rights lawsuit resulted in special protection for transgender inmates. This facility was being built as a shopping mall until the real estate market tanked. For fifty million it was converted into a secure prison just for transgender girls, like Petra and you. There’s one other reason it’s here: Sacramento is only half an hour away.”
The warden explained its proximity to the state capitol was no accident. There were many politicians who loved shemale and sissy sex, but the dangers of seeing professionals on the outside was fraught with risk, such as blackmail or being caught by enterprising journalists who then pressured the working girls to blabbing. There was no such danger with the transwomen of El Dorado State Prison.
I had switched to full-length sucking Officer Hayes’ tool, pulling back until just the tip was between my lips and then sliding down against my tongue until he was in the back of my throat. I picked up the tempo, which had him grunting and gasping with abandon. All the while I had cupped and caressed his ball sack, and now I felt it tightening. He was going to spurt in a minute or two at most.
“You might be proud to know that all of the two hundred girls here were specially handpicked from prisons all over the state. We have a network on the outside keeping track of who is being sentenced, what for and what their potential might be. You are a natural, Rita. And I think your little girlfriend there showed a lot of potential in that sex arcade booth as well as when she was incarcerated at the county jail.”
Just then Hayes gasped extra loud as his balls clenched. I pulled off him, opened wide and jacked off his dick toward my open mouth, rewarding me with a splatter of sweet cum all over my lips and tongue. I toyed with it on my lips until I remember I was being timed and I gulped it down.
“Four minutes!” Warden Fordham exclaimed. “Excellent. Next man, Rita.” Then she chuckled. “Officer Hayes, you were supposed to tap her before you came. Is her mouth that skilled?”
“Sorry, Warden,” he said, laughing. “She caught me by surprise.”
I gulped mightily at the next CO, Captain Grover, a beautiful black man in his late twenties with what had to have been the second biggest dick I’d ever seen—at least twelve inches long—but at least somewhat less than two inches in diameter, so I was pretty sure I could swallow him. I smiled sweetly up into his face and winked, and I cooed, “Oooooh, Daddy.”
“Only a few girls have been able to swallow my captain of the guards,” the warden said. “Officer Hayes was an appetizer. Impress me, Rita.”
I warmed up with long, wet licks up and down his black love muscle, getting it as slick as I could. Then I forced my mouth down onto him without preparing my throat, making myself gag slightly, which caused slippery, ropy phlegm to fill my mouth. I carefully coated his throbbing tool with this slick spit so it would easily go down my gullet. Locking eyes with him I held my throat muscles open and inch my inch I slowly guided his heroic prick all the way down my throat.
“Jesus Fuck!” he groaned. “This fucking bitch is insane. I’ve never had—”
He groaned uncontrollably again when I started milking his cock with my throat muscles. Unfortunately he was so big I was forced to pull back until his dickhead was in my mouth so I could take a handful of breaths through my nostrils. I worked the head with my tongue while I sucked down more air.
“Hold on a moment,” the warden said. “I’ve seen enough to know Rita can suck dick like few girls I’ve ever seen. I want to see how she fucks.”
“Awww, Warden,” griped the next CO in line, a burly redhead with a pencil thin moustache and rippling muscles. “I was looking forward to it.”
“Pipe down, Garrett,” she said primly. “You’ll all have plenty of opportunities.” She stood by my left shoulder. “Rita, you’re doing superbly. I have high hopes for you. Now get on all fours. Officer Hayes, take some lube over to Captain Grover.”
I couldn’t believe how eagerly I got on all fours. I wasn’t play-acting to please the warden—I wanted to get fucked. I found myself thinking about that last time I got fucked by guards at Gaviota—those two plain middle-aged guys—and how I couldn’t help turning into a slut with them. All of a sudden I was kind of disgusted by how easily I got horny when there was a hard dick, any dick, around.
“There you go, Lucien,” she said to Grover as Hayes handed him the KY Jelly. “Lube up your index finger and get our new fishie ready for that monster of yours.”
aa
Moments later I groaned when a big, slippery finger circled my butthole and eased up inside. Relaxing my anal muscles came so easily it was like I was ready to be penetrated at the drop of a hat, which I had to admit I was.
“Damn,” he said. “I’ve never seen a bitch loosen up so fast. Either her asshole is blown out or she really wants it.”
“We’ll see,” said Warden Fordham. “Rita, squeeze down on his finger with your rectal muscles as hard as you can.”
I concentrated on that black digit plowing through my anal sphincter and the ripples of ecstasy radiating from down there. I clamped down hard.
“Fuck!” the black stud said a moment later. “She’s tighter than one of those Chinese finger traps.” He brought plump brown lips to my ears. “Want me to lube my dick or is your spit enough?”
“Fuck me now, Daddy,” I cried. “Just stick that big, beautiful black cock in me and fuck my slutty tranny asshole!” I wiggled my ass for emphasis.
He pulled free his finger and knelt between my legs. I whined with sexual need as his spit-slick cockhead slid against my eager butthole. I felt my clitty get fully erect as he pushed his big dick slowly into me. I sighed with pleasure as that huge lance of black cockmeat slid past my fluttering asshole and filled the deep recesses of my rectal canal until it pushed past my prostate. I had seldom felt so filled, so satisfied.
My eyes filled with tears of joy. “Oh, I love your big dick, Daddy,” I moaned. “Fuck my shemale ass deep and hard.”
Captain Grover did just that, thrusting in and out like a battering ram, making me groan and sigh with pleasure, and whine with desperate hunger. He touched his slippery finger to my lips and I engulfed it without a second thought, sucking the sweet lube and my acrid ass juices off of it while my gasps for air tore through my nose. I heard murmurs of appreciation and awe as I took on the well-hung black officer as if I’d been starved for sex for a year.
“Garrett, get in there,” the warden said with a chuckle. “Can’t you see the girl is dying for a snack?”
Grover pulled his finger away as the buff redhead knelt in front of me, feeding eight inches into my sucking mouth. I wrapped my arms around his waist and immediately took him into my throat, so relaxed and drugged with sex that I was ready for all of these guys to fuck my throat and my asshole with equal lust. My dick was painfully hard; I felt drops of precum roll down the shaft and onto my hairless ball sack.
After five minutes of impassioned fucking and no sign of me losing my taste for it, the warden cleared her throat. “Time to see how nasty this girl is. Trade off holes, men. Let’s see how she does with ass-to-mouth fucking.”
“Oh, yes, Mistress!” I cried out as the redhead pulled his cock free from my mouth. “I’d love to be an ass-to-mouth slut!”
The two officers rushed to change position. Without hesitation I took Grover’s dick back in my mouth, but instead of swallowing him, I circled my tongue around the head, cleaning off the lube and the taste of my asshole. I had done this so many times since the billionaire first forced me to do it, I had come to enjoy the taste of my rear end—almost bittersweet and tart, an earthy flavor that drove me wild with kinky lust at knowing how sexually dirty I was being. That it drove men and Mistress Simone wild was a big thrill too.
Up and down his slippery shaft my lips and tongue worked to remove all the ass flavor and scent so he could shove it back up my ass again. The rich bitch did this to me all the time, and it tickled me to know how it impressed everybody even though there was really nothing to it once I got past the idea. However, knowing how to squeeze my anal muscles to keep a dick or a finger from getting all dirty was the big secret to making it possible.
“Oh fuck!” Grover panted. “I can’t believe this bitch is getting me ready to blow so soon!”
I pulled off him just long enough to ask, “Mistress, do you want me to prolong his cumming? Your new girl awaits your command.”
“Rita, you’re making me very happy.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “Go ahead and get him off and then make Garrett cum by milking him with your asshole. I’ve seen enough.”
Within a minute Grover’s big dick flooded my mouth with thick, sticky seed that had more tang than most cum I’d swallowed. I played with it on my lips, toying it with my tongue while I kept a huge smile to show everybody I loved it. After a moment I began working my rectal muscles and put the squeeze on Officer Garrett’s plunging cockstaff.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw young Petra looking at me with shining eyes.
* * *
I stood at my original position in front of the desk but I had turned to the right so I could see my shemale mentor in action. I looked at Rita with complete awe, even more than before. She was so filled with sexual hunger she looked like a true nymph goddess in her fucking and sucking. She might be a sex slave—as I probably was now too—but she was also a powerful shemale, a true force in and of herself when she was having sex. Even something I thought of as degrading as ass-to-mouth she made it look beautiful and wholesome. I wanted to be her so much!
Her plump red lips glistened with the black man’s cum—a foot-long wang that had been buried all the way up her ass only minutes ago. Now she was finishing off Officer Garrett, and by the ecstatic expression on his face she was milking his dick with her asshole. I decided right then and there I wanted her to teach me everything: how to suck a dick that big, to have control over my ass muscles, to be able to actually do ass-to-mouth and not get all queasy.
Shortly after the CO blew his load up my tranny lover’s ass. He pulled it out, but when Rita turned around to suck it clean the warden stopped her. She told Officer Garrett to get on his feet and to face me. A hollow feeling filled the pit of my stomach because I had a strong feeling what she was about to order me to do.
“Clean off his dick, Petra,” the warden commanded.
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just fuck you
Hey shadman when is the next drawin going to be up
Never
Why are yall shitting on shadman for his reaper art dude it’s his will of drawing let the artist do what he wants
Shut up faggot
Why are you booing him? He’s right!
Don’t you hate it when your Daddy says that to you every day?
Are you so angry at Daddy you have to spread your misery around?
Kys faggot
Shut up dumb retard nigger fagget
Boo hoo, go fuck yourself
Ikr? It’s almost like he put the comments section for a reason…
I thought that two week long “mystery sickness” sounded sketch. RIP
Goodbye Shad…if you read this, well you probably won’t, just know we’re gonna miss you and I wish you luck in future endeavors. And if you do decide to come back we’ll be here waiting
Yes, I need something.
I need a continuation of the Coraline comic and a continuation of the Incestibles comic.
We’ll miss you, Shad.
who’s joe?
looks like shad’s dead. oh well. i guess to compensate, i’ll fap to sssonic2 until he comes back
Can you do a few of Beverly from IT Chapter 2?
Hey Shäd. What happened to the Raven Pinup post?
Also, you need to delete a few messages in the comment section.
Some Twat is spamming wall text. Thanks man, hope you get better soon :)
Hail Shädman!
It was pushed back, its still in the archive
Thats why you should never read the comments
Yup. According to all the known laws of the internet, only retarded virgin incels post the entire script of moronic animated children’s movies.
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
– Barry?
– Adam?
– Oan you believe this is happening?
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
– You got lint on your fuzz.
– Ow! That’s me!
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
– Hey, Adam.
– Hey, Barry.
– Is that fuzz gel?
– A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
– Hi, Barry.
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
– Hear about Frankie?
– Yeah.
– You going to the funeral?
– No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
– We are!
– Bee-men.
– Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
– A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
Honey!
– That girl was hot.
– She’s my cousin!
– She is?
– Yes, we’re all cousins.
– Right. You’re right.
– At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
– What do you think he makes?
– Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
– What does that do?
– Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
– Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
– Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
– Hey, Jocks!
– Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
– I wonder where they were.
– I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
– Oouple of Hive Harrys.
– Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
– Oh, my!
– I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
– Six miles, huh?
– Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
– Maybe I am.
– You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
– Well, there’s a lot of choices.
– But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
– Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
– I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
– You’re gonna be a stirrer?
– No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
– We’re starting work today!
– Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
– Is it still available?
– Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
– What’d you get?
– Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
– You want to go first?
– No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
– Any chance of getting the Krelman?
– Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
What happened to you?
Where are you?
– I’m going out.
– Out? Out where?
– Out there.
– Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
– Look at that.
– Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
– Thank you.
– OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
– That’s awful.
– And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
– Antennae, check.
– Nectar pack, check.
– Wings, check.
– Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
– Ever see pollination up close?
– No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
– Guys!
– This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
– Should we tell him?
– I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
– Do something!
– I’m driving!
– Hi, bee.
– He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
– Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
– Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
– You could put carob chips on there.
– Bye.
– Supposed to be less calories.
– Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
– You’re talking.
– Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
– I’m talking with a bee.
– Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
– Wait! How did you learn to do that?
– What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
– That’s very funny.
– Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something?
– Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
– It’s just coffee.
– I hate to impose.
– Don’t be ridiculous!
– Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
– I shouldn’t.
– Have some.
– No, I can’t.
– Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
– Where?
– These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
– You do?
– Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
– Really?
– My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
– Why do girls put rings on their toes?
– Why not?
– It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
– Maybe I’ll try that.
– You all right, ma’am?
– Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
– Thanks!
– Yeah.
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
– Sounds amazing.
– It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
– Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
– Some of them. But some of them don’t.
– How’d you get back?
– Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
– Well…
– Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
– A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
– No, no, no, not a wasp.
– Spider?
– I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
– Her name’s Vanessa.
– Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
– They call it a crumb.
– It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
– You know what a Oinnabon is?
– No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!
– Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
– We’re still here.
– I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
– Then why yell at me?
– Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
– Where are you going?
– I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
– What is wrong with you?!
– It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
– I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
– I’ll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
– Is he that actor?
– I never heard of him.
– Why is this here?
– For people. We eat it.
You don’t have
enough food of your own?
– Well, yes.
– How do you get it?
– Bees make it.
– I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
– It’s organic.
– It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
– You almost done?
– Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
– And you?
– He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
– What is that?!
– Oh, no!
– A wiper! Triple blade!
– Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
– Bee!
– Moose blood guy!!
– You hear something?
– Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
– Bees hang tight.
– We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
– What if you get in trouble?
– You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
– Hey, guys!
– Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y’all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
– Oheck out the new smoker.
– Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
– What?
– Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
– You wish you could.
– Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
– That would hurt.
– No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
– Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
– And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ’em.
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
– Is that that same bee?
– Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
– Hello.
– Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
’cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
– Frosting…
– How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
– Oh, those just get me psychotic!
– Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
– This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
– I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
– What’s the matter?
– I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
’cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
– No.
– I couldn’t hear you.
– No.
– No.
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
– Where have I heard it before?
– I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
– Order in this court!
– You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
– Say it!
– Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
– Ken!
– Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
– What’s that?
– Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
– You’re bluffing.
– Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
– You got the tweezers?
– Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
– Good friends?
– Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
– Yeah, but…
– So those aren’t your real parents!
– Oh, Barry…
– Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y’all date your cousins?
– Objection!
– I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
– Adam, stay with me.
– I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
– Hey, buddy.
– Hey.
– Is there much pain?
– Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
– Why?
– The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
– What are we gonna do?
– He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
– What if Montgomery’s right?
– What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
– I think we need to shut down!
– Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
– Are they out celebrating?
– They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
– What did you want to show me?
– This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
– I’ll sting you, you step on me.
– Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
– Roses are flowers!
– Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
– Bees.
– Park.
– Pollen!
– Flowers.
– Repollination!
– Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
– Where should I sit?
– What are you?
– I believe I’m the pea.
– The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
– Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
– I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
– You and your insect pack your float?
– Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
– Remove your stinger.
– It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
– What’d you say, Hal?
– Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
– Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
– Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
– Is that another bee joke?
– No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
– Who’s that?
– Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
– Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
– Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
– Get this on the air!
– Got it.
– Stand by.
– We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow!
– Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
– Hover?
– Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
– That may have been helping me.
– And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– Hold it!
– Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow.
– Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
– What?
– I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– What in the world is on the tarmac?
– Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– Vanessa, aim for the flower.
– OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
– Not that flower! The other one!
– Which one?
– That flower.
– I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
– This is insane, Barry!
– This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
– Yes. No high-five!
– Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
– Thank you.
– But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
– When will this nightmare end?!
– Let it all go.
– Beautiful day to fly.
– Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
– Thinking bee!
– Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
oH FUCK YOU ASSHOLE IF YOUR GOING TO POST SOMETHING LONG AT LEAST MAKE IT PORN
Is that the buttwitch from 12 forever?
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
– Barry?
– Adam?
– Oan you believe this is happening?
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
– You got lint on your fuzz.
– Ow! That’s me!
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
– Hey, Adam.
– Hey, Barry.
– Is that fuzz gel?
– A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
– Hi, Barry.
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
– Hear about Frankie?
– Yeah.
– You going to the funeral?
– No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
– We are!
– Bee-men.
– Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
– A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
Honey!
– That girl was hot.
– She’s my cousin!
– She is?
– Yes, we’re all cousins.
– Right. You’re right.
– At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
– What do you think he makes?
– Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
– What does that do?
– Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
– Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
– Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
– Hey, Jocks!
– Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
– I wonder where they were.
– I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
– Oouple of Hive Harrys.
– Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
– Oh, my!
– I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
– Six miles, huh?
– Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
– Maybe I am.
– You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
– Well, there’s a lot of choices.
– But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
– Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
– I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
– You’re gonna be a stirrer?
– No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
– We’re starting work today!
– Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
– Is it still available?
– Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
– What’d you get?
– Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
– You want to go first?
– No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
– Any chance of getting the Krelman?
– Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
What happened to you?
Where are you?
– I’m going out.
– Out? Out where?
– Out there.
– Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
– Look at that.
– Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
– Thank you.
– OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
– That’s awful.
– And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
– Antennae, check.
– Nectar pack, check.
– Wings, check.
– Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
– Ever see pollination up close?
– No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
– Guys!
– This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
– Should we tell him?
– I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
– Do something!
– I’m driving!
– Hi, bee.
– He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
– Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
– Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
– You could put carob chips on there.
– Bye.
– Supposed to be less calories.
– Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
– You’re talking.
– Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
– I’m talking with a bee.
– Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
– Wait! How did you learn to do that?
– What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
– That’s very funny.
– Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something?
– Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
– It’s just coffee.
– I hate to impose.
– Don’t be ridiculous!
– Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
– I shouldn’t.
– Have some.
– No, I can’t.
– Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
– Where?
– These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
– You do?
– Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
– Really?
– My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
– Why do girls put rings on their toes?
– Why not?
– It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
– Maybe I’ll try that.
– You all right, ma’am?
– Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
– Thanks!
– Yeah.
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
– Sounds amazing.
– It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
– Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
– Some of them. But some of them don’t.
– How’d you get back?
– Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
– Well…
– Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
– A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
– No, no, no, not a wasp.
– Spider?
– I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
– Her name’s Vanessa.
– Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
– They call it a crumb.
– It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
– You know what a Oinnabon is?
– No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!
– Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
– We’re still here.
– I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
– Then why yell at me?
– Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
– Where are you going?
– I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
– What is wrong with you?!
– It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
– I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
– I’ll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
– Is he that actor?
– I never heard of him.
– Why is this here?
– For people. We eat it.
You don’t have
enough food of your own?
– Well, yes.
– How do you get it?
– Bees make it.
– I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
– It’s organic.
– It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
– You almost done?
– Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
– And you?
– He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
– What is that?!
– Oh, no!
– A wiper! Triple blade!
– Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
– Bee!
– Moose blood guy!!
– You hear something?
– Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
– Bees hang tight.
– We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
– What if you get in trouble?
– You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
– Hey, guys!
– Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y’all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
– Oheck out the new smoker.
– Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
– What?
– Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
– You wish you could.
– Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
– That would hurt.
– No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
– Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
– And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ’em.
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
– Is that that same bee?
– Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
– Hello.
– Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
’cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
– Frosting…
– How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
– Oh, those just get me psychotic!
– Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
– This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
– I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
– What’s the matter?
– I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
’cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
– No.
– I couldn’t hear you.
– No.
– No.
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
– Where have I heard it before?
– I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
– Order in this court!
– You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
– Say it!
– Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
– Ken!
– Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
– What’s that?
– Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
– You’re bluffing.
– Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
– You got the tweezers?
– Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
– Good friends?
– Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
– Yeah, but…
– So those aren’t your real parents!
– Oh, Barry…
– Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y’all date your cousins?
– Objection!
– I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
– Adam, stay with me.
– I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
– Hey, buddy.
– Hey.
– Is there much pain?
– Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
– Why?
– The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
– What are we gonna do?
– He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
– What if Montgomery’s right?
– What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
– I think we need to shut down!
– Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
– Are they out celebrating?
– They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
– What did you want to show me?
– This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
– I’ll sting you, you step on me.
– Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
– Roses are flowers!
– Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
– Bees.
– Park.
– Pollen!
– Flowers.
– Repollination!
– Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
– Where should I sit?
– What are you?
– I believe I’m the pea.
– The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
– Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
– I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
– You and your insect pack your float?
– Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
– Remove your stinger.
– It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
– What’d you say, Hal?
– Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
– Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
– Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
– Is that another bee joke?
– No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
– Who’s that?
– Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
– Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
– Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
– Get this on the air!
– Got it.
– Stand by.
– We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow!
– Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
– Hover?
– Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
– That may have been helping me.
– And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– Hold it!
– Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow.
– Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
– What?
– I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– What in the world is on the tarmac?
– Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– Vanessa, aim for the flower.
– OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
– Not that flower! The other one!
– Which one?
– That flower.
– I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
– This is insane, Barry!
– This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
– Yes. No high-five!
– Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
– Thank you.
– But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
– When will this nightmare end?!
– Let it all go.
– Beautiful day to fly.
– Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
– Thinking bee!
– Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
Shut the fuck up
Legend
ITS A STUPID GODDAM MOVIE AND UR AN ASSHOLE FOR PASTING IT TWICE
I WISH that sleep paralysis was like this.
I sat anxiously in the conference room strategizing with my co-workers, except this time it wasn’t for our boss. We were plotting how to get my jean jacket back from the guy I’d stumbled home with the night before.
“You can’t go back for that jacket,” one said. “That’s insane.”
They unanimously agreed: When you leave something behind at a guy’s apartment—one who was very obviously into it for the casual hook-up only—the chances of seeing said item again are slim. I understood that. But this jacket…it was perfectly crinkled denim blue with sleeves that gently held onto my wrists even when I raised my arms. A jacket of all trades that I could dress up with an LBD or down with yoga pants. A little guardian that hugged my waist when temperatures dropped on foggy San Francisco nights.
“I’m going to get that jacket back,” I declared.
“I want you to put your drink down and come home with me right now, where I’ll throw you on my bed and slowly undress you.”
I only knew a handful of details about the man who was unknowingly keeping it captive: His name was Cameron, he had a head full of curly brown hair, and I had his apartment address—thanks to my Uber receipt.
The situation with Cameron was an odd one from the start. I’d had a few drinks with my coworkers and we’d headed to a bar you only go to if you’re drunk enough. It was dark and dirty, but not in a trendy San Francisco way. The establishment’s main attraction is a wheel you spin for $10; whatever cocktail the wheel lands on, you have to drink. We spun many wheels. And sometime in between them is when Cameron sauntered over to me.
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At first glance, I assumed he was from out of town. He was good-looking and polished in an East Coast, finance guy kind of way. He had a commanding smile that matched his sleek silver suit. I was surprised that he plucked me out of the crowd: a small blonde with Midwestern roots. We talked about mundane topics like our jobs and where we lived—nothing meaningful. But then he threw a curveball.
“I want you to put your drink down and come home with me right now, where I’ll throw you on my bed and slowly undress you,” he whispered in my ear. “Then I’ll tie you up, start at your neck, and slowly make my way down.”
I froze in a state of confusion. A shoelace? Really?
My first thought was, I hope nobody around us is listening. My second was, This sounds like the start of a horror film.
“Does this actually work on the women you try to pick up?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he asked back.
The truth is, I did want to know. I was intrigued by his bluntness. So I didn’t go back to the safety of my co-workers. I didn’t throw my drink in his face and call him a dick like some women might have. Instead, I went along with it. I liked the attention. I liked what I was hearing. I liked pretending to be the type of girl who would go home with a guy, get tied up, and not think twice about it. And that’s because a part of me is that girl—but I didn’t know how to accept that quite yet. I was never given a manual on how to get through life as a curious, single woman with a healthy sex drive.
I nonchalantly accepted his offer. I wanted to follow my curiosity and not feel guilty about it. After all, if our genders were reversed, my male self would have said “yes” immediately.
At his place, we skipped the formalities and made our way straight to the bedroom. Since it was already late, and a Thursday night, I figured we shouldn’t waste any time. I was playing a part, after all, and thought it would be best to follow through.
“So, are you going to tie me up?” I asked, trying not to be awkward.
He leaned over to his bedside dresser and pulled out a long, white shoelace.
“This is all I have.”
I froze in a state of confusion. A shoelace? Really? I thought I was going to at least be teased with handcuffs, or a sexy silk tie. His confidence at the bar led me to believe he was an experienced, kinky kind of guy. Our charade was broken the moment he pulled out the shoelace, and my embarrassment for wanting to hook up with him at the slightest provocation hit me with full force. Suddenly and inexplicably, he scurried to the bathroom. That’s when I grabbed my things and dashed for the door without saying goodbye…leaving my jean jacket behind.
image
Stocksy
Despite my friends’ objections, I showed up after work at his place unannounced. I gave myself a pep talk: You are not crazy for being here. You are just here because you want your jacket back. ButI was lying. I was there because I wanted to explain my unannounced departure, and that I wasn’t sure who the person was that he was with last night.
I knocked on the door, but nobody answered, so I knocked again. I should have left, but instead I coyly played with the doorknob. The door swung open. Actually, literally, just…swung open.
“Hello…?” I uttered as I stepped inside.
I knew I was playing a dangerous game by being there, but I also loved the adrenaline rush. Twice in 24 hours I felt like I was somebody else, playing a role. Somehow that made it easier to take another step. I gave myself two long minutes to poke around before I high-tailed it for the jacket. First, I tip-toed through the living room, which looked like a frat house: a melting pot of clean and dirty clothes with the casual beer bottle wedged in between. Against the wall leaned an unused blue and green surfboard.
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Who is this guy? I wondered. Then: I don’t remember this place being so dirty. It didn’t look like an apartment that belonged to the exquisitely dressed man I met the night before. Finally, I made my way to the bedroom. I peeled a beige collared shirt off an OfficeMax chair. Peeked under the pile of khaki pants on the floor. I even checked under the comforter of his unmade bed. Ten minutes had passed—a long time to be in someone’s apartment when they don’t know you’re there. I still couldn’t find the jacket.
As I walked toward the door, the knob clattered. Someone was fiddling with their keys on the other end. Time slowed down as I hashed out every possible avenue for avoiding the excruciating confrontation that was about to ensue. Should I hide in a closet? What about the bathtub? How long would I have to wait until the person on the other end left? What if they didn’t, would I have to sleep in my hiding spot? This is weird. I shouldn’t be here.
I felt paralyzed, but quickly stomached the fact that I was going to confront the person on the other side. The door opened, and a tall man with curly brown hair walked in.
But it wasn’t Cameron. It was his roommate.
As I walked toward the door, the knob clattered. Someone was fiddling with their keys on the other end.
“Heyyy, how’s it going?” he said, with a muddled look on his face.
Clearly, he had no idea who I was, but he also didn’t think I was an intruder trying to rob his house.
“Is Cameron here?” he asked.
I said no, took a deep breath, and delivered the ludicrous explanation for my visit: “So, I actually came home with Cameron last night. I left my jacket here, but didn’t have his number, so I thought I’d stop by and get it.”
The roommate laughed. Our bubble of tension popped. He went into his room to look for my jacket, but couldn’t find it. I gave him my number to pass on to Cameron; he said he’d tell him I swung by.
I never did get that jacket back. But I got a little bolder, which might be what I needed more.
It was the night before my wedding, and I was alone in my bridal suite, too wired to sleep and contemplating the future of my orgasms.
Out of tradition, I didn’t sleep with my husband-to-be that night, but I was wishing that I had. What if it was my last chance for mind-blowing sex?
In the 20 years of dating I did before my wedding, which took place on my 35th birthday, the sex was never as good as sex during the early days of a relationship. Between my first, fumbling, over-the-bra feel-up at 14 and when I met my husband at 34, I had five serious relationships that each lasted more than a year. Inevitably, at the six-month mark, we would transition from the kind of couple who would have sex in the back of a New York City taxi to siblings who fell asleep with our clothes on and sometimes switched who played the big spoon.
“We would transition from the kind of couple who would have sex in the back of a New York City taxi to siblings who fell asleep with our clothes on.”
But those relationships were disposable. Once the ennui and disinterest set in, I could discard them. Maintaining good sex didn’t really matter until I met the man who would become my husband while on a work trip (I was a travel editor) on an eco-cruise of the Galápagos. It was the fairy-tale ending to the rom-com that had been my life for the past two decades, and we were engaged in just three months. Of course we still wanted to rip off each other’s clothes at that point. We maintained that intensity and fervor as we prepared to walk down the aisle nine months after the day we met, a new hot-and-heavy record for me.
But how long could that go on? A married-sex rut would be even worse than a dating-sex rut. Married-sex ruts can last forever.
After many nights spent worrying, I took action. I began a reporting journey around the world, during which I crowdsourced answers to the question of how to be a wife. I interviewed hundreds of women across 20 countries, ostensibly talking about marriage, but more often talking about sex. I compiled all of their answers into a book, How to Be Married, which was as much about implementing the advice as asking for it.
image
COURTESY
How to Be Married, $26
BUY IT: Amazon.com.
It was like I’d been initiated into a top-secret sorority where the password was “I just got married.” Complete strangers, young and old, black, white, and brown, began telling me things that would make a Dutch prostitute blush. In fact, the most conservative sex advice I got was from an actual Dutch prostitute, who informed me that maintaining a healthy sex life is mostly up to the woman. “A married man is easily contented and loses his sense of adventure,” she whispered to me in between shifts in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. “Be the captain of your own ship. Women will always have the burden of maintaining the passion. The men want to be told what to do.”
The women of the polygamist Maasai tribe in Kenya, thousands of miles from Northern Europe, echoed her sentiments. “You need to be in charge of the sex,” they told me. Strong words coming from such a patriarchal society. The Maasai women hailed the importance of making time for sex, no easy task for them. They live in a single room with multiple children, and their schedule can revolve around up to four other wives.
“How do you have good sex with the kids around all the time?” I asked. The women got quiet for a beat, and I worried I’d overstepped. But then one leaned in to me and whispered, her breath hot on my cheek, “You get on top. It’s quieter.”
Isn’t being with the same person, night after night, for the rest of your life, well, boring? And doesn’t boredom always lead to bad behavior? It always has in my case. I’d long fretted that perhaps monogamy simply isn’t a natural state for humans, and I looked to the French, a culture that is much more accepting about extramarital activities, for guidance.
But when I asked a coterie of wildly sophisticated Frenchwomen with perfect bangs and sweaters that fell effortlessly off their shoulders whether allowing affairs was the secret to stoking marital passion, they looked at me like I’d suggested they murder puppies. “Do I want my man to fuck someone else?” one practically spat on me. “No, I do not.”
After a sip of wine and a long draw on her skinny cigarette, she softened.
“I must keep him interested. It’s about keeping the mystery,” she explained. “You American women get married and you get rid of the sexy lingerie and start walking around in sweatpants and peeing with the door open.” She said the word sweatpants the way someone else might say toenail clippings. I didn’t bother to explain to her that the bathroom in our San Francisco condo is small, and peeing with the door closed makes me claustrophobic, and that I had invested a good amount of money in Lululemon athleisure pants, which technically were sweatpants that hugged my butt. “I don’t really understand sexy lingerie,” I said instead. They told me I was committing a cardinal sin in my relationship.
I’d expected a good amount of sex advice from the French. I hadn’t expected it from the Orthodox Jewish women of Jerusalem.
“Never stop having sex with your husband. Even when you get very old,” one very old Israeli woman who resembled Bea Arthur commanded me on the banks of the Dead Sea. “Quality over quantity,” another woman told me during a conversation in her apartment right outside of Jerusalem’s Old City. Orthodox couples have sex only during specific times of the month. I’d wondered if this was a way to maximize fertility, but my assumptions were shot down once again.
“We believe that sex needs, seriously needs, to be good for the woman.”
“That’s when sex is better for the woman. We believe that sex needs, seriously needs, to be good for the woman. During the times we have sex is when all of the hormones are right for sex to be very enjoyable for the woman,” an Orthodox woman around my age (married for more than a decade) told me. That time? Seven days after your period. And yes, she was right. “The two of us move apart for part of the month in order to get to know ourselves better and then come back to each other more complete. It keeps the passion stoked.”
I kept a running list: Be the captain of your ship, behave like your husband’s mistress (from the French, naturally), don’t wear shitty sweatpants, keep the bathroom door closed, have less sex to have better sex, make sure to make time to have sex, keep the damn phone and computers out of the bedroom (from those wicked-smart Danes).
It all sounded like so much work.
“What if we didn’t have sex for two weeks?” I said to my husband, Nick, when I got home from my Israel trip.
“What if we didn’t try that?” He shot me a skeptical look before tackling me onto the bed. If the mere suggestion of taking a sex break did this much for his libido, I wondered what an actual break might do.
Acting the part of the mysterious mistress in barely-there lingerie was another matter entirely. My husband seems confused by sexy underthings. “I’m just going to take it off you,” he’ll say. “What’s the point?” To be fair, I can never figure out where anything snaps or where the tiny lacy holes are supposed to go. At the very least, I could try to pee with the door closed. I could maintain that last vestige of mystery in our marriage. But, I swear, every time I’ve attempted it, Nick has started a conversation with me. And, truth be told, the bathroom really is incredibly small. The best advice, it turns out, came from the Danes. Taking our phones and computers out of the bedroom has made room for touching, tickling, and squeezing that would have been taken up by clicking and tweeting and scrolling mindlessly through other happy couples’ Instagram feeds. I’m now stricter about this rule than almost any other rule in our marriage.
The bedroom is a place for sleep, cuddling, and sex.
We’ve been together for just over two years, which went by in the span of about two minutes. I’m five months pregnant as I write this, and despite a few dry spells for morning sickness and the flu, our sex life hasn’t veered anywhere near sibling territory. Just the other day, I took off the shitty sweatpants to walk around the house naked. Worked like a charm.
About nine years ago, D, my boyfriend at the time, introduced me to BDSM. We were falling in love, and I wanted to try everything. I fell for it just as hard as I fell for him.
For a couple of years, we explored in the privacy of our bedroom, taking turns restraining each other and mixing pain and pleasure. And then, another lover of mine (D and I were in an open relationship) brought us into a whole community of BDSM aficionados. With D, it was all about intensifying sex and bonding together; with the community, it became one of the main ways that I grew and developed as a person. Through strap-ons and crossdressing, floggers and knives, I explored the depths of my gender and the limits of my body.
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Getty Images
I discovered pony play seven years ago, at one of my very first BDSM events—a private play party at a community member’s home. People were being spanked, hot wax was being poured on bare skin, a man was walking around with heavy weights hung from his balls. Anything was possible. So it didn’t shock me when a woman with a soft voice and a soft face pulled out a leather horse bridle and told me that she liked putting it on other people and steering them around.
Everything about her was tall and full, from her riding boots to her cascading brown hair. She trained real horses, she explained. This was an extension of her interest in equines. I was intrigued. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have this soft-spoken woman in control of me.
Her bridle was heavy. Blinders narrowed my field of vision. I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her movements through the reins she held behind me. She made a clicking noise with her tongue to prompt me to move.
This was the part I was most comfortable with—the exhibition. Elsewhere, I might be a freak; here, I was accepted and admired.
Wearing a form-fitting cocktail dress, high heels, and the bridle, I walked, straight backed, slowly from one room to another, enjoying the eyes I’d see on me before they disappeared past the blinders. This was the part I was most comfortable with—the exhibition. Elsewhere, I might be a freak; here, I knew, I was accepted and admired.
When I moved and stopped at her command, she’d say, “Good girl!” in the high-pitched tone we reserve for children and animals. I enjoyed pleasing her, but at the same time, I wondered if I really wanted to be treated like an actual animal.
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I Went to FetishCon and Here’s What Happened
Empowerment has been my guiding principal as I’ve explored BDSM. Especially when I’m being submissive, I only agree to play with someone I know sees me as an equal. I want to leave scenes feeling proud of what I withstood or having probed fears or desires I didn’t know I had.
I didn’t feel empowered by my small pony play scene. Yes, the experience turned me on, but it also made me uncomfortable. I stayed away from pony play for years after that.
But in the BDSM community, you learn to reserve judgment and approach things you don’t understand with curiosity and an open mind. And so, inevitably, I was tempted to try it again.
At a recent kink-themed conference, I attended day-long workshops on things like power dynamics and creative uses for strap-ons. But there were also two presenters who were nationally-renowned pony play experts—one a gruff cowboy, the other a petite and lively woman. The cowboy, who trained both real horses (known as bio horses) and role-playing ponies, was almost a caricature, with spurs on his boots and a deep Southern drawl. He was a stereotypical Dom, too: loud and gleefully sadistic. She was much harder to define. She acted as both a pony and a trainer when role-playing. She was a submissive, but nothing about her was meek. She held her small fit frame with perfect posture and exuded a strong aura of confidence and grace. Let’s call her Grace.
They agreed to teach me how to be a pony. I wondered, Could it be empowering this time? Less dehumanizing? But also: What kind of pony might I want to be?
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Getty Images
Some ponies simply enjoy dressing up and the elaborate fetish wear that can go along with it. Others enjoy being groomed. Some pull carts while others like to be ridden. Then, there are competitions involving jumping or simulated fox hunts or showmanship involving trots and gallops and Spanish walks. There are perhaps a dozen competitions around the country that might attract anywhere from 20 to 50 people, a small but committed group of fetishists. Both Cowboy and Grace had won national competition titles.
In the evening, the conference set up a makeshift dungeon—a designated play space with equipment to act out our kinks. There were large wooden frames for rope suspensions, massage benches, and X-shaped wooden structures known as Saint Andrew’s crosses for tying people up and flogging them. That night, I would be led through the dungeon as a pony.
It’s about the experience of being free, wild, or “other.”
I stripped down to a bra and panties, and Cowboy fitted me in a leather body harness with an attached tail and a head piece with a mane. The head piece had a bridle with small metal rings that clipped to a set of reigns and a metal mouthpiece called a bit. I admit that I felt sexy as this pony-human hybrid. I matched Cowboy, complete with his western hat and boots. He didn’t need to transform into anything else.
With the bit between my teeth, communication was difficult. Cowboy placed a leather hood over my eyes, and I could only see the ground just in front of me. To him, pony play was all about the power dynamic: the pony relinquishing control and offering him—the trainer—complete trust.
He gave me commands by pressing on my back, telling me to switch between a high-kneed walk and a trot. By pulling on the reigns, I knew when to stop or turn, and I could understand what he wanted even when we ventured into the dungeon where EDM was pumping at high volume. All around me, I knew people were being bound and beaten. Somewhere, Doms were running special gloves or floggers lit on fire over people’s bodies—these were the scenes I was most worried about running into. But I was brave enough to be led blind through a crowd and strong enough to submit to the unknown.
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Getty Images
As soon as we got back from the dungeon, we ran into Grace, and I switched to her bridle and bit to test out being a beast with her.
Grace told me I could only communicate with her as a pony. She neighed, and I neighed back. If something was wrong, she told me to stamp my foot. I tried it out. I liked this physical language. With a neigh, I couldn’t elaborate, “I’m enjoying this, but I don’t know why. I wonder if I look pretty. Are you pleased with my performance?” A neigh is just a positive affirmation. Stamping my foot, a negative one. Not speaking is a way of letting go, a way of further submitting.
Other ponies I’ve spoken to say that when they role play, they cease being themselves. They’re an object, an animal. It’s about the experience of being free, wild, or “other.” I haven’t yet reached that headspace. Even when I’ve acted in musicals and operas or done other role play with lovers, I’m always aware of myself playing a part. Are other people simply better at transforming into someone or something else? Maybe. Maybe something in me is afraid to let go and be someone or something else. Maybe I simply like being me.
But then, I met K. I’d heard that he was one of the only active ponies in my city, so I reached out to him after the conference. I told him that I’d be at the members-only dungeon I belong to on Saturday night if he was interested in meeting me. He showed up wearing a black latex suit, boots shaped like horse hooves, and a leather horse mask.
For K, being a pony is transformative. Rather than the shy and quiet person he claims to be otherwise, as a pony, he’s a strong stallion, the center of attention. His insecurities disappear. He’s slim and dark. Loud and funny.
Rather than the shy and quiet person he claims to be otherwise, as a pony, he’s a strong stallion, the center of attention.
He asked me about what kind of headspace I was looking for. In BDSM, your mind can go—intentionally or otherwise—anywhere. Imagine where your mind goes when you’re on a roller coaster, or during sex, or watching a scary movie, or meditating. During a kinky scene, you can feel so many things: turned on, ecstatic, hyper aware, strong, angry, amused, supercharged, or blissfully zoned out. I didn’t yet know how I wanted pony play to make me feel. I admitted my fear of disappearing, of ceasing to be me. I didn’t know if I wanted that or could even get there.
So he changed the subject and asked if I was hungry. We left to get tacos. Then we got drinks at a gay bar where he could still wear his tail. With his permission, I picked it up and played with the end. It made him blush and stare at me with a grin. We kissed, and nuzzled each other’s necks. Kind of like ponies.
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In the past, when people asked me if pony play was a sexual thing, I told them I didn’t think so. I was worried what it would mean to be sexualized as an animal. Was it akin to bestiality? Did consent disappear?
And yet, that night, when K and I slept together, I gave myself permission to dig into the primal part of myself. I imagined two strong horses and their instincts to breed. Two animals attracted to each other, simply going at it.
I imagined two animals attracted to each other, simply going at it.
I bit his lip and he groaned. Primal. He fucked me from behind. Animal. We nuzzled and touched foreheads, and the animal parts of us and the human parts of us blended together. He was a stallion, and I was a mare, and I wondered what I had been so worried about. Sex—good sex—activates us on so many levels. It can be sweet, intimate, and raw all at the same time.
The next day, we went to see a movie. Afterwards, sharing chicken fingers at a bar, talking about jobs and families, he asked, “Do you want to be my mare?”
I asked him what that would look like, and he shrugged and grinned. “I think we have a lot we can learn from each other,” he said. I wasn’t yet ready to sign on, but I, too, was curious what we could learn from each other. So instead of an answer, I nuzzled his neck, and he whinnied back.
Niggers.
^loser
^faggot
^uncle
penus
I WISH sleep paralysis was like this. Then I wouldn’t mind it.
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 09:02 | # | Reply
Wtf shadman gonna die
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 09:57 | Reply
Might already be dead, how would we know?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 20:08 | Reply
dunno ur mom?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 20:35 | Reply
Of course I know my mom, I know your mom too, she’s a useless whore that couldn’t afford to send you to school to learn how to write, so you had to be homeschooled and the only reason you passed any classes is that you were screwing your teacher
LaCroix
LaCroix
September 3, 2019 at 00:38 | Reply
Jesus shots fired…holy shit.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 10:11 | Reply
Yes.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 08:36 | # | Reply
I’m seriously wondering who this is or supposed to represent but I hope this does get made into a poster
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 08:24 | # | Reply
Get better Shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 08:18 | # | Reply
Is that the girl who committed suicide in belarus under the train?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:37 | # | Reply
I don’t know what it is but I think this piece is one of my new favorites from you in a long time.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:21 | # | Reply
I hope you die for drawing straight porn and pedo-art
LaCroix
LaCroix
September 4, 2019 at 16:20 | Reply
You know the ones who are the most vocal about the things they hate are more often than not closeted lovers of it. XD
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 03:55 | # | Reply
I hope this gets made into a poster I’d totes buy it
Fenrisulfr
Fenrisulfr
September 2, 2019 at 03:15 | # | Reply
Be safe Shad and take care of yourself. As a side the picture looks lovely probably gonna use it as my background for a bit.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 03:05 | # | Reply
Shad’s finally paying for his sins and heresy
bruh
bruh
September 2, 2019 at 02:51 | # | Reply
Get well soon Shadman
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 02:19 | # | Reply
We love you man get well soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 01:35 | # | Reply
Get well soon Shad… and show some love for us straight folks up here, nuff with the gay/trans shit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 01:44 | Reply
Fuck off, trump lover
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 02:05 | Reply
Why you gotta make it a Trump thing thou?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 03:14 | Reply
Because it’s the basic bitch statement of a trump lover:
Bigoted
Self centered
Pitiful
And delivered with a level of idocy that clearly shows an inability to handle words with more that one syllable.
So as your orange führer would say “if you don’t like it here then go back to where you came from”
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:04 | Reply
So wanting to see something that appeals to you makes you a trump supporters, wow, he must be very popular now huh.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:18 | Reply
Trying to force someone to do what you want them to does
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:28 | Reply
Making a request doesn’t. People should just learn to relax and not make things political. I simply see it as a request. Nowhere in his comment even stated he was a trump supporter. Is it normal to assume someone is a trump supporter simply because he has at least one political view that trump shares? Or if he is simply turned on by straight sex?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:29 | Reply
Yes.. popular. He has the lowest popularity rating of any president ever, by a big amount.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 02:21 | Reply
Fuck off, worthless peice of shit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:20 | Reply
What a gay, trumps thing to say.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 02:50 | Reply
Desperately begging someone for love, you’re pathetic
Just kill yourself already you whiney little bitch
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 03:16 | Reply
Shut yo gay ass up
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:19 | Reply
Pathetic
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:26 | Reply
Shut your gay niggy ass up
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 11:31 | Reply
Shut your red neck cracker incel virgin loser ass the fuck up
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:23 | Reply
No. Straight porn is fucking gay.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 01:01 | # | Reply
Get well soon, shad. Hope you get out of sicko mode.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 00:44 | # | Reply
Get well soon my man we can’t lose one of our great soldiers
QueenLilly666
QueenLilly666
September 1, 2019 at 23:48 | # | Reply
Get well soon my dude
skullkidd
skullkidd
September 1, 2019 at 23:47 | # | Reply
Get well soon. Shad
Arthur White
Arthur White
September 1, 2019 at 23:46 | # | Reply
Get well soon. Shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 23:39 | # | Reply
Reminds me of Tim Pool
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 23:32 | # | Reply
shadman is a fucking pedophile
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 23:42 | Reply
Prolly
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:43 | Reply
Sock puppet
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 02:05 | Reply
no u
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 06:02 | Reply
Eat peen nig
a chiwawa
a chiwawa
September 1, 2019 at 22:05 | # | Reply
Take care of your health shad. If by chance your felling depression know there are people’s who care.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 21:02 | # | Reply
Тем кто ложится спать – спокойного сна.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 20:37 | # | Reply
A week is a long time to wait, better go for a check-up in 4 days. I remember the last time I fell ill and ignored for a week, I had died. So don’t take that risk.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 05:42 | Reply
This comment made my day
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 20:32 | # | Reply
HONK HONK!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 20:13 | # | Reply
add me on kik: icravemaycee
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 20:11 | # | Reply
Why just why do you do what you do you have such talent and you put it towards this
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 22:59 | Reply
sorry not everyone has to adhere to your tastes cupcake.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 19:45 | # | Reply
Hope you get better Shadman
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 19:22 | # | Reply
Get well soon shad!
PS: this reminds me of the anime Charlotte (on netflix), when(spoilers) the main character gets hella depressed
PPS: it also reminds me of a true story of a german 13yo girl who sells her services to random guys on the street for drugs
PPPS: this is a really good drawing
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:24 | Reply
That’s disgusting
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 19:20 | # | Reply
Dont die shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 19:20 | # | Reply
Get wall soon lad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 18:19 | # | Reply
Get well soon shad!! Please!
Dark Lord Gaseous the Bold
Dark Lord Gaseous the Bold
September 1, 2019 at 18:10 | # | Reply
Zinc, Calcium, Magnesium, and clean distilled filtered water Shad ; )
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 17:59 | # | Reply
first of “aww why she sad ?”
Next thing like everbody else leaving a comment “Hope you get feelin better man and don’t rush yourself or anything, take yo time and get healthy we mostly a patient bunch.”
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 16:51 | # | Reply
Shad, please don’t die. My dick would be sad.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 17:53 | Reply
I don’t know that sounds pretty gay
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 16:48 | # | Reply
I hope you get well soon Shad, in spite of everything you are a bright spot in my life, and I enjoy your drawings and the passion for humor you show.
Gayvatar
Gayvatar
September 1, 2019 at 16:39 | # | Reply
I know the doctor will probably probe your anus really deep with his fist but don’t delay it too much, fevers are genuinely no joke.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 15:53 | # | Reply
Why can’t we see her ass or something. Cmon get right dude you what were here for
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 18:59 | Reply
Cunt
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 19:17 | Reply
^
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:32 | Reply
Exactly
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 14:27 | # | Reply
I’m gonna be posting irl trap content on instagram @cinxmxnbitch
If any nice strong men wanna come over there and be my sugardaddy I’ll love you
liza lii
liza lii
September 1, 2019 at 13:42 | # | Reply
best dating site – cb7.live
SCAMMER ALERT!
SCAMMER ALERT!
September 1, 2019 at 20:17 | Reply
cb7.live is dating-is-real1.com aka Dirty Tinder
According to scamadviser.com: This website may be risky.
Negative highlights
The website has been set-up 20 Days days ago
The website has been claimed for 366 days (which is short)
The website is young (less than six months)
We discovered that the website is still quite young (less than six months old). Every website has to start-up at some time and this website might be reliable. We do know that fake website tend to exist not for a very long time (usually less than half a year).
Facts about cb7.live
Company data
Organisation WhoisGuard, Inc.
Owner REDACTED FOR PRIVACY
Address REDACTED FOR PRIVACY
Postalcode REDACTED FOR PRIVACY
City REDACTED FOR PRIVACY
Country PA —- Panama <========================
Phone REDACTED FOR PRIVACY
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:06 | Reply
Godspeed you magnificent bastard
brand
brand
September 1, 2019 at 12:55 | # | Reply
Diss nigga actually sick!! Now i kno i gotta save i blessings 2 him 👼🙏❤😷💊💉Geet well shad. Will jL b takin over 4 the mean tyme.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 12:37 | # | Reply
Get well soon, Shad.
All the best to you
ANDREA COSTA
ANDREA COSTA
September 1, 2019 at 11:56 | # | Reply
Get well soon, Shad – we need loli and ladyboys and incest to liven up our boring lives!!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 11:49 | # | Reply
History😭
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 11:46 | # | Reply
Get better soon Shad..
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 11:18 | # | Reply
always nice to see smoking girls
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 11:17 | # | Reply
Damn shad even though i might be a fucking sick asshole, i really hope u get better
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 11:15 | # | Reply
What if shad just fucking dies… like bruh
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 16:32 | Reply
will be a sad moment for ALL of gamers ;-;
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 18:55 | Reply
Good
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 11:11 | # | Reply
It’s probably because you’re drawing too much gay shit, fucking faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 09:54 | # | Reply
Oh no shad has AIDS
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 18:56 | Reply
You’re like the 20th person to say that.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 09:08 | # | Reply
Hope you feel better man, also you should make like a birthday party themed thing, I think that could be interesting
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 08:53 | # | Reply
I like how these incels shit on shad so much. They feel like they are entitled to have every picture they want.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 08:40 | # | Reply
Hope you get better
Torchon-Cobra17
Torchon-Cobra17
September 1, 2019 at 08:09 | # | Reply
Hope you get better
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 08:05 | # | Reply
Get better you faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 07:43 | # | Reply
I was sick last week to hope you get better.
Needtoknow
Needtoknow
September 1, 2019 at 07:29 | # | Reply
Take as much time as you will be here when you return get well soon and stay strong MAIN LEWD FUHRER, HAIL THE SHADMAN 🤚 🤚🤚🤚🤚 🤚
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 07:23 | # | Reply
Take as much time as you need Shad we’ll I’ll be here when you return main LEWD FUHRER, HAIL THE SHADMAN🤚🤚🤚🤚🤚
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 07:14 | # | Reply
Remember shad, we love you and your work, just don’t die on us.
Thepunker
Thepunker
September 1, 2019 at 06:22 | # | Reply
Get better soon shad we love you bro i hope you feel better soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 06:18 | # | Reply
get better soon man!!!
Anonymoose
Anonymoose
September 1, 2019 at 06:10 | # | Reply
Yo dude love your work and I hope you feel better soon!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 06:07 | # | Reply
Get well soon faggot, more NSFW!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 04:34 | Reply
Fuck off fag
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 05:57 | # | Reply
Sounds like you’re dying from cancer
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 05:31 | # | Reply
I love you get well son
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 05:03 | # | Reply
Stay safe dad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 04:44 | # | Reply
Hope you start feeling better soon!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 04:26 | # | Reply
Get better soon!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 04:04 | # | Reply
Crazy how everyone was mad for the last few pages and now everyone is wishing a speedy recovery to shad…take care of yourself shadman B|
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 02:43 | # | Reply
Get better man no worries if you can’t post comics for a while just get better.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 02:32 | # | Reply
Looks like my ex. Style and hair color, too. Creepy.
Anti-comunism Cuban
Anti-comunism Cuban
September 1, 2019 at 02:25 | # | Reply
Hope you are better today man, get better soon
Thatonedude
Thatonedude
September 1, 2019 at 02:22 | # | Reply
Stay safe.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 02:13 | # | Reply
Yo Shad, a friend of mine said somethinget interesting about you. That you are like the modern Marquise de Sade
F
F
September 1, 2019 at 02:13 | # | Reply
Sounds like you might have Mono. Have you been sharing fluids with anyone lately?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 02:10 | # | Reply
Wishing you the best Shadman!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 01:52 | # | Reply
You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 01:58 | Reply
Go and tell that long tongue liar
go and tell that midnight rider
tell the rambler the gambler the back biter
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 00:55 | # | Reply
back to school be like…
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 00:29 | # | Reply
Shad, get better so we have more “porn comics” lol. No but seriously take as much time as you need man.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:08 | # | Reply
Get well soon shad!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:07 | # | Reply
Feel better soon!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 22:57 | # | Reply
I hope you get better chief stay safe <3
gianna-chan
gianna-chan
August 31, 2019 at 22:53 | # | Reply
feel better shad! i hope to see more of your art soon :P
Deandre conners
Deandre conners
August 31, 2019 at 22:50 | # | Reply
Man that suck dude i hope you feel better looking forward see more of your artwork shadman
gianna-chan
gianna-chan
August 31, 2019 at 22:49 | # | Reply
feel better shad !
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 22:35 | # | Reply
Get better soon
Callmecarsonlive
Callmecarsonlive
August 31, 2019 at 22:22 | # | Reply
Have you ever heard of twitch prime?
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 22:01 | # | Reply
Get better soon Shad!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 21:45 | # | Reply
Yo ! Man ! Get better and get back on your feets :D
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 20:36 | # | Reply
the artwork hints that hes lovesick because this girl broke his heart.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 20:00 | # | Reply
If you have a fever for several days it’s likely you’ve got Influenza. Take it seriously, go to hospital for fluids if you can’t seem to keep up with your thirst. A really nasty flu has been going around, caught it myself and was crippled for a week and a half, still not recovered yet.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 19:36 | # | Reply
Gwt well shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 19:22 | # | Reply
Hope you get well soon , you and your art are amazing
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 18:20 | # | Reply
So no porn for a while?
Cool finally
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 18:27 | Reply
Let’s keep it that way. It’s actually pretty good.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 20:32 | Reply
You watch your mouth now
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 18:04 | # | Reply
Get well soon! Nimm dir alle Zeit, die du brauchst, um wieder gesund zu werden
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 17:31 | # | Reply
Prostatitis possibly?
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 17:07 | # | Reply
You are beautiful
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:38 | # | Reply
Shad, bud? Take it easy, brother. Best wishes for your upbringings.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:25 | # | Reply
dude this is just god killing you slowly because of this god forsaken website
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:10 | Reply
Good
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:21 | # | Reply
You probably got AIDS bro
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:15 | Reply
That as original as the last 15 people who said it
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:10 | # | Reply
Boomer
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 15:45 | # | Reply
“I’ve had a fever for a week”, OMG HE’S DYING
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 15:43 | # | Reply
Another anti climatic post.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:48 | Reply
Fuck you, retard. The man isn’t well.
TheCut
TheCut
August 31, 2019 at 15:07 | # | Reply
You are suffering for your sins you pervert. Repent and desist from the path. If you do not. I hope you continue to withe in pain but do not die.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 15:18 | Reply
lol retard
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 15:50 | Reply
It’s just a drawing faggot
jesus is dead
jesus is dead
August 31, 2019 at 16:05 | Reply
what are you doing looking at this material you jesus cuck go nail your hands to a board faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:11 | Reply
Funny, homophobia is an invention of Christians.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 05:05 | Reply
And Muslims.
And Jews.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:21 | Reply
Your god is a paedophile and the fact you worship it means you’re no better, drop dead
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 16:24 | Reply
go eat dicks
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 19:36 | Reply
You god doesn’t exist and your nothing more then a bottom bitch
MIDAS
MIDAS
August 31, 2019 at 22:13 | Reply
Imma Christian and Love Shad’s Work
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:12 | Reply
You are a poor Christian.
MIDAS
MIDAS
September 1, 2019 at 02:26 | Reply
Well atleast I’m not One of the Whiners who Beg to see more Smolis here
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 05:01 | Reply
I suppose that’s something
LaCroix
LaCroix
September 3, 2019 at 00:43 | Reply
You’re all hypocrites people who like lolis and shotas use the argument “its just a drawing” and you say “WHO CARES” jesus christ I cant wait for the god damn apocalypse to kill us all.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 10:01 | Reply
Way to set the bar real low
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 22:34 | Reply
The Cunt
Heebiejeebie
Heebiejeebie
August 31, 2019 at 15:00 | # | Reply
Hope you feel better shad but if you can, can you make more pictures like this im not into it but I just like the picture not her being sad but just the art of it is all hope you get better soon and have a good day or night.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 21:40 | Reply
Hey dad
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:56 | # | Reply
Get better soon! Dont die on us yet
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:55 | # | Reply
Get well soon :)
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:47 | # | Reply
This is beautiful art. Get well soon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:46 | # | Reply
I feel like if Shad dies, the internet would celebrate. Scary thought.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:14 | Reply
It would be a joyous occasion
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:40 | # | Reply
WHERES THE F**KING PORN!!!!!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 05:06 | Reply
Up your moms ass
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:12 | # | Reply
where da fuckk is da fuckin porn
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 13:59 | # | Reply
Feel better soon Shad – All the best wishes~
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 13:31 | # | Reply
Hope you feel better soon Shad rest up chief
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 13:18 | # | Reply
Being sick sucks, i hope you get better soon
Gresch
Gresch
August 31, 2019 at 12:55 | # | Reply
If ya think you can beat me in ultimate, or if you just wanna talk add me on Kik: “wrooooooom”
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 12:47 | # | Reply
Get well soon Shad!
(if you die I’ll tie a balloon to your wrist, no problemo)
Also don’t die ’cause I don’t know where you live and I’d not want to break a word.
Gentleman Jack
Gentleman Jack
August 31, 2019 at 12:40 | # | Reply
*reloads shotgun*
Alright which one of you hurt this lovely woman?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 22:59 | Reply
yikes
Whatever
Whatever
August 31, 2019 at 12:38 | # | Reply
Die, bitch
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 12:28 | # | Reply
Get well soon Shädmän! Gute Besserung!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 12:17 | # | Reply
why does this page contain clothes
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 11:35 | # | Reply
Nigga is gonna die soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 11:21 | # | Reply
seeing this makes me depressed.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 11:12 | # | Reply
Sorry to hear that brÖ. feel better and dont be afraid to go to the doctor.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 11:07 | # | Reply
Get well soon Shad.
May the odds be ever in your favor
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 09:28 | # | Reply
One of the pedophiles must have poisoned you for not posting CP anymore. Get better soon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:14 | Reply
He deserves it for drawing CP
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 09:05 | # | Reply
Take the time you NEED so you can give us the content we WANT. Priorities lie in what’s necessary, not desired.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 08:50 | # | Reply
pls draw some hat girl
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 08:55 | Reply
We’re those hat girl hentai at
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 23:13 | Reply
Deleted. He decided to stop drawing loli.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 08:03 | # | Reply
You should send me a set worth of sexuality back cause i sent you some awhile ago but you might have of not of noticed it was kinda of themed lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 07:59 | # | Reply
Take care of yourself bro… I’ve been a lurker for almost 10 years and have never felt the need to comment… but I respect the fuck outta you man, I really do hope you’ll be okay. You’ve been apart of many of our lives for so long, we wish nothing but the best for you! Get well soon Shad…
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 07:52 | # | Reply
This post was made by the holy boy and as a holy boy I use my holy boy powers to completely remove any past “you will die if you don’t repost/you’ll get bad luck if you don’t say” posts and also makes you immune to any other posts of similar nature for the future.
Kind regards,
The Holy Boy
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 07:16 | # | Reply
Get well shad, you’re an artist I really admire, not just cause of the lewd art but the way you have made a brand out of it and still have fun. You should not wait that long to get medical assistance though. GWS
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 07:49 | Reply
I think you’re a rad guy
Dolan Deprest
Dolan Deprest
August 31, 2019 at 07:09 | # | Reply
Ta devlz fynally gawt tu u shedman </3 RIP in advans fren
Hi. I'm Hentai Boy(:
Hi. I'm Hentai Boy(:
August 31, 2019 at 06:49 | # | Reply
Get well soon Shad, if you need to take a break for a while please do so. If you need any tips to get back into great health look up the Dr. Sebi Alkaline diet. I recommend drinking Essentia water bottles, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice, and Mucinex DM Max cough liquid. Jus by doing those 3 things for about a week you’ll end up feeling great
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 06:41 | # | Reply
Feel better asap bro!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 06:25 | # | Reply
Good luck my boi and dont show anyone your face while your in the hospital
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 06:11 | # | Reply
Get well soon, dont overexert yourself.
Kenny
Kenny
August 31, 2019 at 06:00 | # | Reply
Hope that ur gonna feel good soon again.
And dont force urself to draw when ur sick.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 05:54 | # | Reply
Get well soon m8
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 05:41 | # | Reply
Our best regards from Brazil
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 05:03 | # | Reply
Get well soon, and is it just my eyes fucking with me, but do the black parts (i.e. hair, headphones, etc.) Move when scrolling past on mobile?
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 05:32 | Reply
Yeah that’ll happen if the image is dark enough
SinSin
SinSin
August 31, 2019 at 05:01 | # | Reply
Take your time, man. Hope you feel better soon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 04:49 | # | Reply
Feel better, Shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 04:34 | # | Reply
Feel better bro
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 04:12 | # | Reply
Get well my dude
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 04:11 | # | Reply
Don’t worry about this, worry about your health, it’s way more important
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 04:07 | # | Reply
Didn’t know you were a Billie Eilish fan
dpb
dpb
August 31, 2019 at 04:01 | # | Reply
<3
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 03:59 | # | Reply
Wholesome art and wholesome comments I love this get well soon Shad :) hope to see more art like this from you the lighting is incredible.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 03:18 | # | Reply
please do seek medical assistance if you’re truly feeling like shit, my dude. hope you can get better soon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 03:02 | # | Reply
Sad nigga hours
Hope ya feel better soon my guy!
Your patient friend
Your patient friend
August 31, 2019 at 02:58 | # | Reply
Take care man and come back when well
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 02:55 | # | Reply
Just rest and possibly get medical assistance if needed, but don’t worry we can wait. Your Heath is more important.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 02:29 | # | Reply
Please don’t Die
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 02:27 | # | Reply
hope you feel better, shadguy
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 02:18 | # | Reply
Please feel better we love you shad!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 02:05 | # | Reply
Get well soon, Shaddy Boye
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 02:01 | # | Reply
Ah some wholesome art. I like this.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:52 | # | Reply
Get well soon dude
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:47 | # | Reply
Never really commented but get well Bro!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:24 | # | Reply
Get well soon shadman
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:22 | # | Reply
Ay, not gonna lie, I’d buy this as a poster. It looks so damn pretty.
Hope you get well soon my dude.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:22 | # | Reply
Get well soon shad. 1000 years of shad the prime disciple of rule34
Anti-comunism Cuban
Anti-comunism Cuban
August 31, 2019 at 01:13 | # | Reply
Hope you are better today! 👍
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:05 | # | Reply
Hey it’s all good brother! Get yourself back to 100%!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:53 | # | Reply
i love this kind of shit bro, get well soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:52 | # | Reply
Sending good vibes, bro.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:48 | # | Reply
Get well soon!!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:47 | # | Reply
Just focus on getting better shad, draw when you are healthy
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:24 | # | Reply
how about you seek medical help now?
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:18 | # | Reply
Get well soon my guy
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:17 | # | Reply
Shadboy, why don’t you take a break for a week. Then come back refreshed and produce even higher quality pages.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:10 | # | Reply
Get well soon shadboy
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:04 | # | Reply
Fcukin mosquitos everywhere… get well Shad!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:59 | # | Reply
Get well soon and keep some sfw pieces up they are so wonderfully beautiful
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:50 | # | Reply
Get well soon and pls dont die!
Seven Of Nine
Seven Of Nine
August 30, 2019 at 23:45 | # | Reply
Your doing what i wanted and deleting comments. My method worked.
(I know you’ll delete this too, but that’s okay)
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 05:33 | Reply
HIII WANNA BE MY FRIEND
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:31 | Reply
Nice work seven, I’ve never seen anyone actually effect real change on this site, time will tell if he’s fully assimilated
Seven Of Nine
Seven Of Nine
September 1, 2019 at 05:05 | Reply
Doubtful. It’s more probable that he simply found the entire-chat re-posts aggravating, how could he see all of the well-wishers that way? Not narcissistic at all.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 15:07 | Reply
Cynical as ever seven, though I assume if you can’t get one you’ll settle for the other? either way he will adapt to service us with a more regulated comment section
Zach
Zach
August 30, 2019 at 23:34 | # | Reply
This looks great Shad, hope ya get better you great bastard!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:29 | # | Reply
Please dont die on us
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:29 | # | Reply
Shad why have you gotten so soft?
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:28 | # | Reply
Get well soon shad! Stay awesome dude
QUESTION
QUESTION
August 30, 2019 at 23:17 | # | Reply
What’s getting fucked in the ass feel like anybody know?
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:22 | Reply
Try it for yourself and find out
totally not gay
totally not gay
August 31, 2019 at 00:43 | Reply
s’kinda nice. you get this really good full feeling and if they manage to get at the prostate it is like seeing staaaaaars dude.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 00:44 | Reply
make sure u clean out first, but let me be 100 percent – it feels reaaal good. lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 01:14 | Reply
Plus all the numbers lol. Enema.
dpb
dpb
August 31, 2019 at 04:02 | Reply
It feels really good once you get used to it.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:16 | # | Reply
Get well soon 🌹
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:13 | # | Reply
How come all my favorite people are getting sick. This is no good i think we have a plague
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:11 | # | Reply
Good grief six of nine you really are just a hateful person aren’t you
Ps:Shad stay alive
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:30 | Reply
It’s Seven Of Nine, and nah, I got what I wanted! He’s now monitoring his comments. My work is complete lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 14:37 | Reply
Go easy on him seven, six and seven are really large numbers to him, he gets confused. I doubt he even knows nine’s a number, probably just thinks you’re saying no in German
Coolmax
Coolmax
August 30, 2019 at 23:05 | # | Reply
Came to check in on the site, hope you feel better soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:58 | # | Reply
This is beautifully done. Get well soon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:56 | # | Reply
Get well soon my man
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:51 | # | Reply
Never seen this comment section so supportive. I’m very glad. I hope you get better and that this environnement change for the better. Get well soon!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 04:01 | Reply
for alot of toxic people, this community can fuckin support the hell outta shadman
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:46 | # | Reply
Wanna hug that Doomer girl.
I have a really stupid weakpoint forsad girls.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:35 | # | Reply
Try not to die, Shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:31 | # | Reply
That’s cool Shad, get better!
PS: Die pedophile
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:11 | Reply
+infinity
Flawless
Flawless
August 30, 2019 at 22:29 | # | Reply
Take your time and get better, Shad. I’ve personally been fapping less lately but even then a lot of your content is genuinely entertaining and well made. You’ve even given me a lot of artistic inspiration; especially style-wise. It makes me feel shitty knowing you’re not doing well right now.
~Get gud soon,
Flawless
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:22 | # | Reply
Die pedophile
Shäddidnothingwrong
Shäddidnothingwrong
August 30, 2019 at 23:35 | Reply
And why are you here
Shadhasdonealotwrong
Shadhasdonealotwrong
August 30, 2019 at 23:42 | Reply
Obviously to piss of knee-jerkers like you
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 31, 2019 at 03:38 | Reply
Yawn*
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 06:00 | Reply
Okay buddy just because no one loves you doesn’t mean you can bring us down with you 😘
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 18:58 | Reply
Well I have both a husband and a wife, sooooo
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 1, 2019 at 19:19 | Reply
#shaddidnothingwrong
AnonyShitter
AnonyShitter
September 1, 2019 at 15:54 | Reply
I’m gonna come fuck ur kids
ShadFan
ShadFan
August 30, 2019 at 22:19 | # | Reply
Hey shad, Will you do one more pinup of Spider-Gwen?, I’m desesperate about another drawing of her…
Pd: Take your time, your health is the first important thing!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:04 | # | Reply
Hope it’s nothing serious man. Have been lurking on your site for years now and it would be strange if that were to end. Take your time to recover, people who care about your work will understand!
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:55 | # | Reply
I really like the lighting in this, it’s actually quite beautiful. Thank you for your art. Hope you get better soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:48 | # | Reply
Can you please fix the traps tab in archive?
im desperate
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:39 | # | Reply
Hope you’re feeling better, man.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:34 | # | Reply
Shadman, Im done with your website because of this. This is no joke. Offer hope.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:54 | Reply
ok
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:01 | Reply
I don’t see why it would matter to him, he does it as a hobby as not as a job.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 23:13 | Reply
It actually is his job retard. He makes thousands a month from hi little brand. Dumb bitch.
Seven Of Nine
Seven Of Nine
August 31, 2019 at 23:18 | Reply
He went to art school, and makes a living from this website. It is indeed his job, and you, are very stupid.
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:28 | # | Reply
What the fuck is a doomer
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 22:06 | Reply
knowyourmeme .com/memes/doomer it’s a meme you dip
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 21:10 | # | Reply
Hope you feel better soon take all the time you need shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
August 30, 2019 at 20:53 | # | Reply
I can’t masturbate to this!
Get well though for real
Shut up bitch. We already have one dumbfuck.
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 02:01 | # | Reply
hope you get better soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 00:32 | # | Reply
what happened to him what yall talking bout?
sssssssss
sssssssss
September 6, 2019 at 00:23 | # | Reply
Great
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 20:10 | # | Reply
Rip shadman. He will be missed
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 18:50 | # | Reply
hope you get better soon shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 18:45 | # | Reply
Don’t cry little girl, I’ve got a whole pack in my pocket.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 18:19 | # | Reply
Get better…
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 18:16 | # | Reply
Time to regenerate
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 17:58 | # | Reply
You dead niggga?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 17:50 | # | Reply
We commenters hate each other, Shad, but we all love you
MetaKnight
MetaKnight
September 5, 2019 at 17:26 | # | Reply
Hey Shad, I hope you get well soon. Let us know about your health.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 17:10 | # | Reply
oh damn it’s not porn
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 16:33 | # | Reply
An olden legend goes to tell that he, whom finishes Oraline will be instantly cured of any sickness, plague or wounding of both body and soul.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 16:32 | # | Reply
Prefiero jlullaby, es tanto el cambio en tu sitio que pareces un impostor.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 16:21 | # | Reply
Fuckin emo
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 16:03 | # | Reply
If Shad bits the big one it’ll be ironic, that the last work of a degenerate pornographer is a fully dressed young women softly crying.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 15:55 | # | Reply
bang the nurse while you are in hospital
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 15:53 | # | Reply
prayers for you
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 15:19 | # | Reply
Hope you die lmao
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 19:27 | Reply
Not funny, didnt laugh
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 15:13 | # | Reply
>tfw no Russian Doomer gf
Phenomenon007
Phenomenon007
September 5, 2019 at 15:09 | # | Reply
Are you ok, Shad?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 14:43 | # | Reply
u ded yet m8?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 14:20 | # | Reply
Are you alive
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 14:09 | # | Reply
Shad i hope you get better soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 13:23 | # | Reply
how’s shadbase? still in hospital?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 13:11 | # | Reply
Add me and send me some dick pics Diaxero#7661
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 15:00 | Reply
DUDE DA FUQ
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 12:55 | # | Reply
IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP SHAD
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 12:19 | # | Reply
Add me and send me Dick pics, Diaxero#7661
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 12:17 | # | Reply
Add me and send me some dick pics, Diaxero#7661
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 11:30 | # | Reply
Gute Besserung, mein sohn. Du lebst ja jetzt in Amerika, falls du ins Krankenhaus eingewiesen wirst, muss du dann nicht die gesamten Krankenhaus kosten tragen? Ist ja alles komisch da drüben mit den Krankenversicherungen dies das
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 11:01 | # | Reply
Shadman espero que te mejores,te aprecio mucho como artista
no te desanimes por la banda de subnormales que habitan en tu sitio
recuerda que imbeciles hay en todos lados y ambitos.
Saludos y Abrazos Fuertes desde Argentina
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 10:23 | # | Reply
Shad, hope you get better and like, not die cuz that’s not fun.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 10:18 | # | Reply
Dude, do you run Myhentaigallery.com? The owner is also sick and can’t post.. Kinda sus…
Shadfan001
Shadfan001
September 5, 2019 at 08:57 | # | Reply
Get well soon buddy
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 08:50 | # | Reply
Shad you ok?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 08:43 | # | Reply
lol is you dead
._.HappyAccidentz._.
._.HappyAccidentz._.
September 5, 2019 at 08:40 | # | Reply
Get Well Soon~ Sorry I’m late to comment. I have been struggling to make the “Gravatar” thingy forever. I think I actually got it this time.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 08:23 | # | Reply
>tfw no suicidal cutie gf
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 08:18 | # | Reply
Get better soon Shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 06:27 | # | Reply
Please do more Steven Universe stuff especially now that the movie came out!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 5, 2019 at 05:46 | # | Reply
Love what you do. Could we get some D.va though? Maybe even a trap D.va? Just some food for thought tfw no doomer gf
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 02:41 | # | Reply
Can you put some old stuff on Sharkrobot? Or new stuff? Or anything else? I want to buy some more!!
Also, feel better Shad <3
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 02:13 | # | Reply
Out of respect for shad I want you guys to respond to THIS comment with your favourite piece of shad-art.
P.S: My one is God of war where kratos is turned into a female and it was (and still is) hysterical!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 02:44 | Reply
I’d go with his fallout stuff personally. I love me some vault meat, especially the one where she’s in the radioactive liquid and she’s grown a massive horsecock.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 19:00 | Reply
Ah Vault-meat, good times : )!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 15:54 | Reply
Marco Diaz
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 02:13 | # | Reply
HIV or AIDS?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 02:08 | # | Reply
Get well soon, always appreciate the updates no matter how long it takes. Is this one going to be available on sharkrobot? Would love to put in up.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 02:04 | # | Reply
Y she cry? It make me sad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 19:59 | Reply
Because she has to look at your face.
Deezle83
Deezle83
September 4, 2019 at 00:50 | # | Reply
Good luck with whatever you’ve been affected by, hope you get better soon. Also awesome site.
Sleepin_Zzzzz
Sleepin_Zzzzz
September 3, 2019 at 22:51 | # | Reply
Don’t die bro.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 22:49 | # | Reply
Don’t die bro
SEANEITOR
SEANEITOR
September 3, 2019 at 22:21 | # | Reply
Chispas, eso no me lo esperaba, FUERZA MI Héroe \(°o°) /
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 21:25 | # | Reply
Either Shad’s finally coming to his senses and is done being disgusting or this is some PR move to drop off for a bit lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 20:48 | # | Reply
Shaman, I’m done with your site, it’s gross and I hate myself for being here. And honestly you probobally do too, it’s never too late to get help man; good luck, fuck you, goodbye.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 21:04 | Reply
Tfw
dumbfuck educator
dumbfuck educator
September 3, 2019 at 21:05 | Reply
Go back to being an altar boy. With any luck a priest will molest you. It’ll be the only sex a guilt-ridden, nuerotic incel like you will ever get without paying for it.
P.S. You could have just left without saying anything, but you had to shit on Shad, his work and all of his fans. The pathetic thing is, you’ll be back – guaran-fucking-teed. Like a closeted gay gay, you have to make a huge public point of your condemnation, all the hoping it will “cure” you.
See you soon, hon. ;-)
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 21:31 | Reply
I’d put this on r/murderedbywords but I don’t want to admit I’ve been on here xD
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 21:41 | Reply
Ur defending a patreon artist who’s lost what made him unique. His work isn’t special anymore, so it isn’t surprising people are leaving. Have fun staying here while I find better porn, pussy
dumbfuck educator
dumbfuck educator
September 3, 2019 at 22:06 | Reply
” it’s gross and I hate myself for being here”
Does it sound as if the OP appreciates any of Shad’s body of work?
Did the syphilis your daddy gave you impair your ability to read for comprehension? Or is it that you’ve been so busy whacking off to porn you’ve failed English since the 3rd grade?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 22:57 | Reply
I don’t understand why you can’t just stop looking at this porn if you don’t like it. Is someone forcing these kids to keep coming back, or are they so in denial at liking Shadman’s (frankly really nice) art that they have to openly criticize and shit on anything the man does for fun? Imagine being that much of an incel cuck to where you get that aggravated by porn. Smfh.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 23:58 | Reply
What if i told you i am nott 18
LaCroix
LaCroix
September 4, 2019 at 04:34 | Reply
Please for the love of what ever fucked up god you people believe in quit engaging miss fucking cunt teeth (D.F.E.) their only here to A: Bite shads dick off in reverence to him, and B: Annoy the fuck out of people like you. Just say your piece and if, IF she responds ignore her.
dumbfuck educator
dumbfuck educator
September 4, 2019 at 06:31 | Reply
LOL Miss Fucking Cunt Teeth! I like that! [giggle]
Oh, and thanks for the attention. It means a lot. ;-)
._.HappyAccidentz._.
._.HappyAccidentz._.
September 5, 2019 at 08:53 | Reply
Hai… Uhm… Can I just say that I feel like what makes Shadman a unique artist is the fact that he has so much improvement to speak of…. So many things he has accomplished… Yet he still makes the time when he is sick…. To set aside time for his fans…. Most of whom hide under the name “Anonymous” and constantly talk mad shit about how horrible he is… People who troll him so hard but are too scared to put a username to their words…. But he sets time aside… And gets on his site…. And tells whoever actually cares that he is sick and will likely need some recovery time…. Most people who have their name in enough places to maintain hype and a fanbase for this long…. Don’t care what you have to say… They don’t care whether their fans wait months, weeks or years to get more updates on things…. And they *definitely* aren’t giving you ETAs….. So…. Regardless of all this trolling I see….. On a site that I have bookmarked… not for the fapping opportunities… But because I get excited to see Shadman improve day by day….. Shadman: I appreciate you. And there are a LOT of people who do. (Which I’m sure you know.) Regardless of the fact that there is constant controversy with your name in it… A fact you must be well aware of with the whole removal of the smoli/loli stuff… You keep catering to all these audiences… Most of them filled with people who don’t deserve for you to do so…. Again, (I commented previously) get well soon~
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 4, 2019 at 09:49 | Reply
Well said, my dude!
PogUU
PogUU
September 4, 2019 at 11:27 | Reply
Imagine getting this triggered that someone doesn’t like your porn artist lmao. Sad little Whiteknight.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 20:19 | # | Reply
Oof
HCK
HCK
September 3, 2019 at 20:06 | # | Reply
Get some rest and see a doctor… hope you feel bettter soon
Your health is important and comes first
Your work is amazing hope to see more once you get better
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 19:44 | # | Reply
F
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 19:04 | # | Reply
Your work is obviously amazing. But don’t worry your, health is more important than putting out a new art piece. Take time to get well.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 18:50 | # | Reply
Shadman fuckin died
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 18:21 | # | Reply
Ok but wheres is Jlullaby!?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 18:48 | Reply
He left a while ago
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 20:15 | Reply
His Patreon apparently got deleted by the site and he is too busy otherwise with school and such. So basically he is currently retired
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 18:16 | # | Reply
moons out goons out
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 17:57 | # | Reply
Still sick? Hope you will get well soon
UwU
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 16:43 | # | Reply
Get well soon mate. Hopefully nothing severe.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 16:36 | # | Reply
1
3
5
?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 16:41 | Reply
Oh, look! A sociopath infant with copy/paste skills, no friends and too much time on his hands…
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 16:24 | # | Reply
1
2
3
4
5
6
?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 15:31 | # | Reply
love your work man hope you get better soon
Idk
Idk
September 3, 2019 at 15:18 | # | Reply
rest in peace bro
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 15:07 | # | Reply
Rip shadman
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 14:44 | # | Reply
Take a rest and get well soon m8
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 14:41 | # | Reply
shes beautiful shad, thank you.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 14:09 | # | Reply
Bro! take care!!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 14:07 | # | Reply
Dont overwork yourself
Karcharoth
Karcharoth
September 3, 2019 at 13:43 | # | Reply
The comic is ruined simply by the fact that a doomer like her should always wear SONY headphones, not those fucking shitty ones she’s wearing. I’ll forgive you this time cause you’re allegedly sick, but this comic ain’t it. Hope you feel better regardless.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 14:38 | Reply
why does it matter what headphone she has?????? watch edds world, they do “PHONY” dvd player and “Pizza Butt” pizza.
Me3
Me3
September 3, 2019 at 15:00 | Reply
Fuck I had no idea Eddsworld still existed. That shit was my childhood, thank you.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 13:31 | # | Reply
Why this looks like last Page?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 13:12 | # | Reply
Damn this comment section is full of moralfaggots, not surprising since you guys have been zealously following shadman since the day you heard of him and his ‘sinful, hateful, and pedophilic art’. I bet you niggers are okay with live child rape straight out of epstein’s usb drive posted on facebook as well.
Jezza
Jezza
September 3, 2019 at 12:23 | # | Reply
Hey, feel better, Shad. We love your art but there’s no art unless the artist takes care of himself. Please put yourself first, for your fans but mostly for yourself.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 12:54 | Reply
Yea but just… stop drawing weird shit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 12:05 | # | Reply
oh noe, now who will draw shitty comics?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 11:59 | # | Reply
Get well Shad, also I LOVE this pic it reminds me of your old days before the porn took over.
– Some college kid who watched you play seige some years ago.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 11:46 | # | Reply
Been here for many years now, when there was two different sites (shad- and shagbase)
Get well soon man.
Many say maybe take a short break, maybe honestly do so, you make a lot of art, a little chill break might also be good.
Your make good art, get well soon man.
We love you. <3
Shit and cum
Shit and cum
September 3, 2019 at 11:41 | # | Reply
Daym man get well soon maybe take a little holiday as well because you always provide quality and need a little you time God speed
ShadFan
ShadFan
September 3, 2019 at 11:00 | # | Reply
I hope you feel better real soon man. Ty for all ur great work
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 10:21 | # | Reply
Get well soon my dude and also if you’re looking for ideas mayhaps I suggest a (soft) vore comic. Sucks that you’re sick and I hope it’s not serious but take time to get better and don’t work too hard.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 10:10 | # | Reply
More dog mum and trap son comic?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 09:49 | # | Reply
This givin me some lofi vibes, nice
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:45 | # | Reply
Fat Bern Made Poop
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:09 | # | Reply
take care man. take a break if need be, could be anything.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:08 | # | Reply
Get better soon shad your art is awesome and while it sucks your gone you need to focus on you health hope you feel better soon man
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 07:45 | # | Reply
You plan to go sick for a week before getting medical help? what kind of idiot are you?
tazuto
tazuto
September 3, 2019 at 07:21 | # | Reply
get well soon!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 06:55 | # | Reply
We literally could not care less about your well being. Keep delivering “art” or watch your site crumble, faggotboy.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:02 | Reply
Fucking degenerate
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:04 | Reply
you fucking dingus
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:07 | Reply
Stfu you dumb cunt like you realise he has a fucking life outside of this he needs to get better so he can keep making the drawings and shit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 09:55 | Reply
u suk
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 11:23 | Reply
Get a life.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 06:42 | # | Reply
She needs a hug.
Also, get well soon shad.
G
G
September 3, 2019 at 06:13 | # | Reply
Ff
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:50 | # | Reply
Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere
I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
I want see to people and I want to see life
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:57 | Reply
Driving in your car, I never never want to go home
Read or you have downs
Read or you have downs
September 3, 2019 at 05:27 | # | Reply
Shads slowly fading from porn. He was a different man years ago, and obviously he has matured. It’s sad, but every artist has a change, and that’s the nice thing about art. Sadly I do believe his lewd drawings will be a staple of his work from now on, but I suppose I, or we, shall have to adapt to his other forms of art that he likes to do. Personally as I do wish Shad would produce more pornography, I know it’s coming to an end, so I do hope his less sexual artwork will be nice, after all I’ve been here for about six years or so, I can’t remember when but it was close to when Shadbase was started, to where he started becoming a better artist from his begging works here. It’s been quite a long time but I do understand he is human, and not a porn spewing robot or group of horny artists working to create porn for people as fast as they possibly can. So hopefully he enjoys what he does and I hope you all may appreciate his new works. In any case, if you don’t you can go find another artist or become one yourself, if you really want his old work back, do it yourself. He obviously doesn’t want to do what he used too, and he’s said it before, but if anything, take his style and let it love on, then you can do whatever you please with it, and turn all your fantasies into reality. Hope you feel better soon Shad me boy, a bitch ass nibba feelin a change
– Ya boi
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:36 | Reply
I liked reading this, thank you
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 06:22 | Reply
Shit the fuck up faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 06:53 | Reply
That’s a yikes from me, lmao. But yeah, personally, I have and always will enjoy shad, porn or not.
LaCroix
LaCroix
September 3, 2019 at 14:18 | Reply
Wow what a kiss ass. Sorry (ans I really am) but shadman got popular due to porn and shock value shit not safe happy/sad butterflies, im all for letting the artist do what EVER they want but there are times when you have to realize “uhhh wow doing this will be like shooting my self in the fucking foot!”
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 17:23 | Reply
Imagine not wanting an artist to expand
LaCroix
LaCroix
September 4, 2019 at 16:17 | Reply
I’m all for an artist expanding but you should still give fans what they actually want from time to time at the least. Otherwise you’ll lose what made you unique as an artist in the first place, and as someone who tried to do the whole “art thing” I can tell you people hate when their only source for the art they love and when people hate they can do terrifying things when people lose something important to them. Frankly im much more worried about Shad himself than some fucking anon who comments without using their head and thinking about what they post.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:17 | # | Reply
oh god oh fuck not the lumbago
Loops
Loops
September 3, 2019 at 05:15 | # | Reply
Get better, Shad!
Hakuru15
Hakuru15
September 3, 2019 at 04:51 | # | Reply
Get better my dude!!!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 04:49 | # | Reply
Suerte bro
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 04:45 | # | Reply
Lol the fag finally got aids that’s what you get pedo
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:39 | Reply
I think that if anything, what Shad has drawn in 8 years is more productive than typing a lame ass hateful comment such as yours
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 08:54 | Reply
Says the person who came to the site lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 22:30 | Reply
Are you serious you are on the site too
Rique the plug
Rique the plug
September 3, 2019 at 04:08 | # | Reply
I pied yesterday and it burnt really badly not gonna get tested till i fuck some girl and she tells me she’s caught something then I’ll get tested and then I’ll say i had to have got it from her cause im clean;);)
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 07:13 | Reply
That’s because your disgusting ass drinks nothing but sugary bullshit. Try drinking water 99% of the time and treating all other drinks like a treat. That burning piss thing is likely one of those stones you need to piss out, not some random transferable disease. Acting like you’re gonna spread shit when you’re still a fucking virgin lmao. By the way, it’s illegal to knowingly spread stds so have fun with that you moron
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 17:18 | Reply
You’re acting like anyone on this site has had sex before. You’ve probably not have sex either. We all know that you’re trying to act cool by pretending to not be a virgin, but it’s not working
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 03:18 | # | Reply
Look this:
fubars.pw/video-4371
fubars.pw/video-4372
fubars.pw/video-4374
Like?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 03:19 | Reply
Of course I know my mom, I know your mom too, she’s a useless whore that couldn’t afford to send you to school to learn how to write, so you had to be homeschooled and the only reason you passed any classes is that you were screwing your teacher
SCAMMER ALERT!
SCAMMER ALERT!
September 3, 2019 at 04:05 | Reply
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Company data
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Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 10:11 | Reply
Bruh who the fuck is dumb enough to click those links?
SCAMMER ALERT!
SCAMMER ALERT!
September 3, 2019 at 04:04 | Reply
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER HAS A NEW DOMAIN
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
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Facts about fubars.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 59% / Netherlands: 41%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. WE’RE ALL OVER YOUR SHIT. GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 03:12 | # | Reply
This nigga is fucking dead
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 02:33 | # | Reply
He’s going to die like Arthur from rdr2
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 02:08 | # | Reply
Hit me up ;) Kik shelbyballsdeep
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 01:00 | # | Reply
Payback for abandoning the loli
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 00:07 | # | Reply
this is how shadman dies
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 00:06 | # | Reply
this how shadman dies
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 23:37 | # | Reply
hmmm…
…pathetic
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 22:21 | # | Reply
Let’s exchange nudes from insta hi_its_bubba
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 22:55 | Reply
poop
The_engineer
The_engineer
September 2, 2019 at 21:49 | # | Reply
Hope you get better shad!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 20:49 | # | Reply
Get well soon mate
Lewa12
Lewa12
September 2, 2019 at 20:07 | # | Reply
Get well an take your time to rest.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 20:02 | # | Reply
Really, feel better soon. I hope you’re okay, And fuck all the people who don’t give a shit saying things like “I can’t fap to this” or whatever, the guys sick. Give him a break. He draws endlessly for us and I mean, you orobably can’t do any better.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 00:26 | Reply
I would care more if he would fucking die lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 05:14 | Reply
Well, that’s you. 🤷♂️
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 19:56 | # | Reply
more doomer pics pls, give music recs :)))
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 00:46 | Reply
if you wanna be sad then litsen to “In Rainbows” by Radiohead
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 19:43 | # | Reply
I hope you recover fast, greetings from chile
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 19:36 | # | Reply
Poopie hahahaha
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 18:35 | # | Reply
Please do some more comic strips on the hooters gang, especially with the trap redhead. And get better
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 17:19 | # | Reply
Add gtrapficker if u a whore Who likes dick
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 16:22 | # | Reply
You threw this while you were sick? Impressive.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 16:09 | # | Reply
A draw of boquita el más grande papá🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 15:57 | # | Reply
Feel better shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 15:55 | # | Reply
can you make hurricane Dorian fucking florida lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 14:17 | # | Reply
More of Eleven please!!!
MIDAS
MIDAS
September 2, 2019 at 14:31 | Reply
He Done with Lolis he said, Get Over it and accept it
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 00:25 | Reply
Die paedophile
you all suck worse than me as people.
you all suck worse than me as people.
September 3, 2019 at 00:36 | Reply
People who say shit like die “insert fetish here” will die off one day and when you do I will love every second of dragging you down to hell (if its real 0_o) with me.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 07:57 | Reply
If ur a pedo your dick and hands get chopped off before you get shipped to hell rofl game over
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 3, 2019 at 17:41 | Reply
Ok, who let underage children roam around here free?
Mattia
Mattia
September 2, 2019 at 14:05 | # | Reply
For god’s sake guys, stop sayin that he’s dead.
Get well fam and rest as much as you need
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 13:44 | # | Reply
Shadman is dead
Meep
Meep
September 2, 2019 at 13:23 | # | Reply
Good luck man! I’ve been keeping up with your site since a little before shagbase ended. I like your work and would love to see more. Do what makes you happy, and please don’t push yourself too hard just for us. Some of us really love you, man. Get better soon!
A useless human.
A useless human.
September 2, 2019 at 13:33 | Reply
Most wholesome comment I’ve seen on this site. Could’ve said it better myself.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 20:07 | Reply
lemme hear it then
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 13:05 | # | Reply
More pokémon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 2, 2019 at 10:58 | # | Reply
Get well shadman
Khloe
September 12, 2019 at 18:43 | # | Reply
Sure
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 10, 2019 at 04:51 | # | Reply
But why look so sad? I figured dispassionate or irritated look
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 10, 2019 at 02:10 | # | Reply
i hope your sickness ends in death
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 11, 2019 at 09:25 | Reply
Well you’re technically correct because his recent panel is reaper from overwatch and his post before that, he said he was feeling better.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 9, 2019 at 19:57 | # | Reply
Nice One 👌
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 9, 2019 at 06:03 | # | Reply
Shad, I never expected you to draw a perfect waifu for me, but congrats, you did it :)
Now she just needs to quit smoking.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 9, 2019 at 22:05 | Reply
You know what perfect means dont you?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 9, 2019 at 02:22 | # | Reply
Nice mom
Mike666
Mike666
September 9, 2019 at 01:10 | # | Reply
I hope u get better Shad and thanks for everything
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 8, 2019 at 19:33 | # | Reply
I hope you get better soon dude
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 21:11 | # | Reply
Hmu on kik,Vayquan I’m a guy and I do femboys too
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 11:08 | # | Reply
1. Thanks for the new wallpaper.
2. I hope that youre feeling better now.
3. Theres a hidden message in this.
4. So read the first letter of each sentence.
5. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 8, 2019 at 16:17 | Reply
1 2 3 4 ?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 9, 2019 at 03:01 | Reply
Letter mate, not number or punctuation
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 10:18 | # | Reply
Hmu on kik, Vayquan imma guy btw
Maria
Maria
September 7, 2019 at 08:02 | # | Reply
I am Italian transexual stunning , classy , polite and very sensual , I am 174cm , 36DD breast , 8 inch fully functional hard cock , long legs and passionate lips , I’m an international professional model well known with the best fame on what I do and what I offer . I LOVE my job so I always DO my BEST for my partners. Contact me if you are not afraid
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 11:13 | Reply
Howdy
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 16:42 | Reply
I would if I fucking knew how to
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 8, 2019 at 00:44 | Reply
Hey how can I contact you further?
Maria
Maria
September 11, 2019 at 05:40 | Reply
Click on name
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 9, 2019 at 22:12 | Reply
“italian transexual” is a weird way to say “russian spambot”
Maria
Maria
September 11, 2019 at 05:40 | Reply
Lol? This is proxy
Khloe
Khloe
September 12, 2019 at 18:42 | Reply
Sure
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 01:04 | # | Reply
I love you，take care of yourself，Looking forward to your work❤️
Cunt
Cunt
September 6, 2019 at 23:19 | # | Reply
When you makin more stuff with jlullaby?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 21:09 | Reply
JL has been silent for months
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 14:18 | # | Reply
This was on my birthday 👍
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 10:45 | # | Reply
hairs not messy enough
yoj go doomer, you go all the way, lad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 10:01 | # | Reply
Take a break if you need it shad, don’t burn yourself out for us
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 06:09 | # | Reply
Good, I hope you die. God or fate is striking you down for drawing too much trap and gay porn. It’s what you deserve, you degenerate fuck.
Shadfan001
Shadfan001
September 6, 2019 at 10:23 | Reply
That’s love
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 10:36 | Reply
Why’re you on here tho? 🤔
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 21:23 | Reply
damn dude, that really hit my feelings
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 11:03 | Reply
kinda ironic that youre here on his site tho
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 at 13:55 | Reply
The fuck are you even doing here!? God hate all porn not just gay and trap so if you don’t like it get lost?
Quentin Galloway
Quentin Galloway
September 9, 2019 at 00:49 | Reply
Man just your Christian looking ass up you fucking asshole your worst then Hitler.
Quentin Galloway
Quentin Galloway
September 9, 2019 at 00:55 | Reply
Man shuts your Christian looking ass shut up you bitch ass motherfucker, your worst than other bad people, I hope you die you pathetic overdramatic bitch
Jack Hampton
Jack Hampton
September 9, 2019 at 00:55 | Reply
Man shuts your Christian looking ass shut up you bitch ass motherfucker, your worst than other bad people, I hope you die you pathetic overdramatic bitch
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 05:50 | # | Reply
Have you seen the villain of the new steven universe movie? If so…well…I think you know where this I going ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 05:25 | # | Reply
oh, at least he is going to become one with his own content – dead
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 at 04:51 | # | Reply
i love you shadman but please dont make me come in there and forcefully give you a rimjob
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 16:14 | # | Reply
I’m pretty sure some new post came after this and now I cant find the stuff that came out after this hmmmm
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 16:11 | # | Reply
I’m pretty sure some new post came after this and now I cant find the stuff that came out after this
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 15:26 | # | Reply
Hey Shad since borderlands 3 came out are we gonna see some Amara and Moze stuff??
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 14:58 | # | Reply
Am I the only one who is liking this new Shadman phase?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 15:37 | Reply
You mean the fucked off and is never coming back stage?
Yeah, I am enjoying it
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 14:53 | # | Reply
So long, parnter
Reqqqie
Reqqqie
September 13, 2019 at 14:35 | # | Reply
You’re not coming back from the store, are you? :(
Reqqqie
Reqqqie
September 13, 2019 at 14:33 | # | Reply
You’re not coming back from the store, are you?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 14:31 | # | Reply
Woow! I like it:
fubars.pw/video-4281
Yeeep!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 14:32 | Reply
Just imagine you’re 18 years old, fascinated by trannies, and you don’t know it yet, but you’re about to be sentenced to SHEMALE PRISON!
——
I knew deep down that if I went back there I might love it so much I’d never come out. I might end up as one of those shemale hookers or porn stars. After all, that was my main fantasy and had been ever since I first saw shemale porn. However, I knew that no matter how much I dreamed about it, I’d have to support myself somehow in that life and I was too much a chicken to throw myself into that kind of an ordeal.
Fifteen minutes later I had picked out my video. It was called “Shemale Gangbang Slut” and it appeared to center on a young tranny who became the centerpiece of an orgy, kind of like my favorite fantasy. I stared reverently as her feminine face all covered with jizz, her rock-hard nine inches, and her mouth twisted in ecstasy as she took a huge cock up the ass. I so wanted to be her! Actually be her.
“That’s a good one,” said a raspy female voice over my shoulder.
“Er… huh?”
“That movie. I liked it. I’m a fan of that genre. For whatever reason I just love the whole transgender thing—transsexuals and sissies and all. I’m Pat. What’s your name, honey?”
I took her outstretched hand without thinking, amazed how such a soft hand could be so strong. “I… I’m Peter—Pete—Peter.”
“Petra,” she chuckled, squeezing my hand before releasing it.
“I’m sorry?”
“Please forgive me. When I meet a pretty young man like you it amuses me to come up with a girl’s name. Sorry… Peter.”
I tingled with heady pleasure when she called me a girl’s name. I liked it. Just then I heard a muffled moan and my eyes darted toward the red curtain. She saw.
“Why don’t you go back there?” Pat suggested kindly. “I see you looking toward that curtain all the time. I saw you run through the corridor a couple of times. Why don’t you go satisfy your curiosity? Instead of dashing through there, stop at a booth and go in.”
“I guess I’m afraid.”
“Afraid you won’t like it and your fantasy will be blown?” She looked at me with affection, an almost parental, fond expression on her face.
“I think I’m afraid I’ll love it and it will become a reality instead of a fantasy.”
“And that would be bad?” she questioned doubtfully.
“Just… scary.”
“I understand,” she said kindly. She put her lips to my ear. “I still think you should try.” She gently took my free hand and dropped in a dozen arcade tokens. “First time is on me… Petra.” She winked.
She gave my cheek a gentle stroke and then walked out of the store. I watched her depart, the sexy swing of her generous, shapely ass in those skin-tight jeans. I wanted to bury my face in that ass! I looked again toward the arcade.
I stood outside the curtain and looked at the marquee box that showed all the movies playing back there and the booths they were playing in. I stopped breathing for a moment when I saw the video I had in my hand was one of them: the gorgeous, young tranny covered in cum and surrounded by throbbing dicks, including her own. It was perfect—I could see if the video was any good, get myself off, or… maybe I’d find myself in the middle of something I could barely imagine.
Screw it. What’s the worst that could happen?
The soft velvet caressed my face as I pushed through. I was momentarily blind as I went from the cool, bright fluorescence of the store to the dim, red-lit narrow aisle between two rows of video booths. Each little room had a dimly illuminated number, some more bright than others. As I slowly passed them I could tell that the brighter ones were vacant, because the others emanated the sounds of porno and masturbation, and sounded more… oral in nature.
Somebody is giving a blowjob!
Halfway down was booth 18, the one showing my movie. Before I even reached its door I knew I would go inside. Moments later I was sitting on a plastic bench in an even dimmer cubicle that smelled of cum, which fortunately was on the floor instead of the bench. There was just enough light to find the narrow shelf to set my tokens and the coin box that ran the video and made it play on the twenty-inch screen. I fed in a token right away.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 14:14 | # | Reply
So long Shad cowboy
MADo
MADo
September 13, 2019 at 13:59 | # | Reply
Shadman if you die can I have your stuff?
Notawriter
Notawriter
September 13, 2019 at 13:30 | # | Reply
Hey, christeeny, do you make good money with that stuff?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 15:34 | Reply
She’s copy/pasting other people’s work you fucking idiot and no it’s not a well paid industry as it’s audience is sad, lonely women over 50 which describes christeeny well, except for the woman part, seeing as since the menopause she’s nothing but the dried up husk of something that used to be a woman
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 16:01 | Reply
Who?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 13:25 | # | Reply
Shadman I’ll send you a pic of me collaring my loli niece if you come back just don’t abandon us like her dad abandoned her
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 16:00 | Reply
I wanna blow your arms and feet off
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 13:00 | # | Reply
So what’s this shit about shad leaving, did he quit or what’s going on.
Don’t tell me all this fuss is about him taking a few sick days.
Christeeny Herself
Christeeny Herself
September 13, 2019 at 11:46 | # | Reply
Just imagine you’re 18 years old, fascinated by trannies, and you don’t know it yet, but you’re about to be sentenced to SHEMALE PRISON!
——
I knew deep down that if I went back there I might love it so much I’d never come out. I might end up as one of those shemale hookers or porn stars. After all, that was my main fantasy and had been ever since I first saw shemale porn. However, I knew that no matter how much I dreamed about it, I’d have to support myself somehow in that life and I was too much a chicken to throw myself into that kind of an ordeal.
Fifteen minutes later I had picked out my video. It was called “Shemale Gangbang Slut” and it appeared to center on a young tranny who became the centerpiece of an orgy, kind of like my favorite fantasy. I stared reverently as her feminine face all covered with jizz, her rock-hard nine inches, and her mouth twisted in ecstasy as she took a huge cock up the ass. I so wanted to be her! Actually be her.
“That’s a good one,” said a raspy female voice over my shoulder.
“Er… huh?”
“That movie. I liked it. I’m a fan of that genre. For whatever reason I just love the whole transgender thing—transsexuals and sissies and all. I’m Pat. What’s your name, honey?”
I took her outstretched hand without thinking, amazed how such a soft hand could be so strong. “I… I’m Peter—Pete—Peter.”
“Petra,” she chuckled, squeezing my hand before releasing it.
“I’m sorry?”
“Please forgive me. When I meet a pretty young man like you it amuses me to come up with a girl’s name. Sorry… Peter.”
I tingled with heady pleasure when she called me a girl’s name. I liked it. Just then I heard a muffled moan and my eyes darted toward the red curtain. She saw.
“Why don’t you go back there?” Pat suggested kindly. “I see you looking toward that curtain all the time. I saw you run through the corridor a couple of times. Why don’t you go satisfy your curiosity? Instead of dashing through there, stop at a booth and go in.”
“I guess I’m afraid.”
“Afraid you won’t like it and your fantasy will be blown?” She looked at me with affection, an almost parental, fond expression on her face.
“I think I’m afraid I’ll love it and it will become a reality instead of a fantasy.”
“And that would be bad?” she questioned doubtfully.
“Just… scary.”
“I understand,” she said kindly. She put her lips to my ear. “I still think you should try.” She gently took my free hand and dropped in a dozen arcade tokens. “First time is on me… Petra.” She winked.
She gave my cheek a gentle stroke and then walked out of the store. I watched her depart, the sexy swing of her generous, shapely ass in those skin-tight jeans. I wanted to bury my face in that ass! I looked again toward the arcade.
I stood outside the curtain and looked at the marquee box that showed all the movies playing back there and the booths they were playing in. I stopped breathing for a moment when I saw the video I had in my hand was one of them: the gorgeous, young tranny covered in cum and surrounded by throbbing dicks, including her own. It was perfect—I could see if the video was any good, get myself off, or… maybe I’d find myself in the middle of something I could barely imagine.
Screw it. What’s the worst that could happen?
The soft velvet caressed my face as I pushed through. I was momentarily blind as I went from the cool, bright fluorescence of the store to the dim, red-lit narrow aisle between two rows of video booths. Each little room had a dimly illuminated number, some more bright than others. As I slowly passed them I could tell that the brighter ones were vacant, because the others emanated the sounds of porno and masturbation, and sounded more… oral in nature.
Somebody is giving a blowjob!
Halfway down was booth 18, the one showing my movie. Before I even reached its door I knew I would go inside. Moments later I was sitting on a plastic bench in an even dimmer cubicle that smelled of cum, which fortunately was on the floor instead of the bench. There was just enough light to find the narrow shelf to set my tokens and the coin box that ran the video and made it play on the twenty-inch screen. I fed in a token right away.
The video picked up somewhere past the beginning, starting up in a sex scene with the young, light-skinned Latina tranny on the cover sucking on a nine-inch shemale cock while a black guy fucked her ass doggy-style with what looked like a ten inches of thick dick. Globs of white stickiness covered her face and large silicone tits. I couldn’t take my eyes off the cock in her mouth. My boner strained at my pants.
I didn’t think of who might come in or anything; I immediately took my dick out and started whacking off. Within two minutes I was ready to cum but then I looked at that stack of tokens and realized I could draw this out. Besides, part of me desperately wanted someone to come in here. A moment later, maybe three minutes from starting the loop, the video shut off and returned the booth to partial darkness.
I fed in a new quarter and was treated to the sex scene continuing. The shemale pulled out of the young tranny’s mouth and spattered jizz all over her lips and tongue, which she lapped up like a treat. I wondered what it must be like to do that. Would I get a chance to find out tonight? I glanced at the door and realized I had instinctually pushed in the button to lock it. I took a deep breath and gave the knob a slight twist. The click of it unlocking was loud, even louder than the film. Fifteen seconds later the knob turned and she walked in.
She was about six-foot but slender. She wore a hooker dress that showed off long, smooth legs and smallish feet in high heels. I don’t know if it was really a she, as in a shemale, or just a really beautiful crossdresser, but I had seen her in the store and seen her go back here many times. All the clerks seemed to know her; they all called her Kim. Her voice was androgynous, like some of those raspy actresses in Hollywood. Right now she looked at me with a desire that almost unnerved me.
“I’d hoped you’d come back here someday,” she said.
“You did?” I asked nervously.
“You’re one of the most beautiful boys ever to come in this store,” she cooed, stroking my face with a soft, feminine hand. “I bet you’d make an even more beautiful girl.”
I shivered with lust at hearing that. She looked down to my throbbing cock still in my hand, then to the video where the young shemale was now sucking a new cock.
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
I bit my lip and nodded my head, as shaky as I was excited.
“Do you want to do what she’s doing? Sucking a shemale dick?”
I nodded again, dizzy with anticipation.
“You have to say it, beautiful.”
“I want to suck a shemale’s dick,” I moaned.
Kim smiled at me. “I’m not exactly a shemale,” she said.
“I don’t care.” I leaned back as she straddled me and pulled up the hem. At least eight inches of cock strained at see-through, French cut white panties. “Oh my god,” I moaned, my mouth hanging open and my lower lip quivering in anticipation.
“Put the rest of the tokens into the box,” she said. “That will give us half an hour of light and a sexy soundtrack.”
With trembling hands I fed the remaining tokens into the coin box. Kim looked down into my eyes with a gentle smile as she pulled down the hem of her panties to expose a cock as big as the one the young tranny had been sucking. With no delay I opened wide and took it into my mouth.
The flesh of her dick was so very soft and delicate yet so very hot. I could actually feel the blood pumping through it with my lips and tongue. As salty-sweet flavor filled my mouth that I was afraid might gag me but instead I swallowed greedily. I was drinking down her pre-ejaculate and loving it as much as I was the feel of her big sissy tool in my mouth.
I’d watched enough cocks being sucked in my small porn video collection to know what to do, but I’d never given any thought to what this moment would really be like. I had been afraid I’d be grossed out. Instead my worst fear had been realized: I loved it. I was a natural born cocksucker, and I knew I was definitely going to be coming to places like this for the rest of my life.
“Oh, honey,” Kim moaned. “That feels so good! You’re such a good baby!”
Spurred by her words I took her dick as deep into my mouth as I could. I was so high on giving this blowjob I was barely aware that someone else had just come in. I stiffened but then I heard Kim greet whoever it was as “Tina.” A moment later a hot, wet mouth closed over my boner. It was a good thing my mouth was full of Kim’s erection because my groan would have been heard all the way out to the cash register!
I felt large, soft hands with long nails expertly unbutton my pants and tug them down, followed by my tight jockey shorts. Somehow Tina managed to keep sucking my cock while she removed my shoes, socks and everything else until I was naked from the waist down. Meanwhile I sucked Kim with such a passion I never knew I had, praying she’d fill my mouth with her cum. Then the door opened again.
I looked up to see two guys standing to either side of me, their dicks jutting out their zippers. They guided my hands to their boners. Now I was sucking a sissy’s big cock, getting a blowjob and jacking off two guys. One of them took off my shirt, making me completely naked, which I was ready for. I wanted to feel as sexy as possible. If there had been lingerie to change me into I’d have done it.
I eagerly put myself into their hands, so that when Kim said she was going to fuck me I allowed myself to be fully stripped and bent over the shelf that’d held the video tokens. A clean-shaven face burrowed between my spread asscheeks and licked my asshole while Kim unwrapped a condom and rolled it over her boner, then squeezed a foil envelope of lube on it.
“You want me to fully make you a sissy girl?” Kim asked me.
“Oh please, yes!” I moaned. “Fuck me!”
She started with one lubed finger, and then added another. I couldn’t believe how easily my ass opened up to her. By the time she had in a third finger I was throwing my ass back against her hand. I begged her to fuck me.
Tina, who I could see was a well-hung black shemale had leaned against the shelf in front of me and guided my hands around her waist, putting her uncut, foot-long tool right in my face. While I waited for Kim to penetrate me, I sucked on Tina’s ebony cock. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to suck down every drop of her cum.
“Little sister is an eager cocksucker,” Tina sighed. “What a natural!”
I started to moan my thanks when Kim slowly slid her entire big dick all the way into me. I groaned like I’d never felt anything so pleasurable. Meanwhile one of the guys took over sucking my thrumming cock. The other one rubbed his dick all over my face, leaving drips of precum. Just then another guy entered and started jacking off on the other side of my face.
Part of me wondered if they’d all been hanging out and waiting for an orgy to get started in one of the booths but I was too horny and overwhelmed with erotic rapture to give it much thought. So many firsts all at once, starting with Kim’s massive boner filling me up and setting my asshole tingling with an exposed, vulnerable, dirty feeling that made me feel like a big slut because I loved it so much. I wanted to get fucked up my ass every day and every night forever!
Tina’s made the second dick I’d ever had in my mouth. Her tranny cock oozed salty precum that made me want to taste the real thing. Like Kim’s cock, the flesh was so delicate and yet hot and hard at the same time. Finally, I’d never gotten a blowjob, either. The guy sucking me off had his hand cupped around my balls. Whenever I felt like I was going to spurt into his mouth he pulled off me and tightened his thumb and forefinger around the base of my shaft, stopping me from cumming. Then he began sucking again.
Soft little moans came from Tina’s mouth. “I don’t know what’s sexier: watching this baby sissy love sucking my dick or love getting fucked.”
“What’s sexy to me is I’m pretty sure she’s a cherry,” Kim panted, fucking me harder to my delight.
I moaned deeply and begged her to fuck me harder still.
“Is that right, honey?” Tina said. “Are you a virgin?”
I looked up into her face as I sucked her cock and nodded.
“Oh fuck that’s so sexy. It… Damn, all of a sudden I’m close to popping. Anyone wanna cum in her mouth first?”
“Go for it, girlfriend,” Kim urged.
“Open your mouth wide, darling,” Tina said kindly.
I did as she asked, my eyes squeezed shut but my lips parted wide. I was a little afraid of how it was taste but most of me was thrilled I was going to be a cum-drinking sissy like all the porn I’d watched.
“Open your eyes and look at me, darling,” Tina coaxed.
I looked and saw her big, spit-shiny brown dick pumping through her soft fist, angry purple head dripping clear, sticky fluid pointed at my tongue. It looked so sexy!
“You’ve never tasted cum before, either.” She said it as a statement.
“No,” I admitted in a tiny voice. “I haven’t. Not even my own.”
“Oh, fuck, that’s hot!” Tina enthused. “Her mouth is cherry too! I… I… oh fuck!”
A thick white, sticky cord arced from her cockhead and into my mouth, splashing onto my tongue and front teeth, and then another until shat felt like a shotglass full over cum was in my mouth. Without thinking I swallowed it just in time to catch a smaller spurt that partly coated my lips.
Tina’s spunk was tangy-salty, almost sweet. I loved the feel of it on my tongue. Instead of swallowing I pushed it around my mouth with my tongue, spreading it on my lips and teeth while I looked up at the grinning shemale with adoring eyes. That was when I heard the guy to my right groan.
“Gonna cum!” he gasped.
I turned my open mouth to his direction while Tina wiped the remaining drops of her cum on my cheek. The guy on my other side began beating off furiously. Hot gasps and moans tore from my mouth as Kim battered my asshole with her huge dick and the guy sucking my dick went for broke, not trying prolong my orgasm any more. I was barely conscious of the guy who’d been on my left stand next to the guy who was about to blow his load into my open mouth.
A tiny part of me was aghast at what I had put myself into— having public sex where anybody could walk in and catch me, swallowing strangers’ cum and eagerly preparing to drink down more semen, while I was getting a blowjob. This was crazy! This was dangerous! Yet I was way too horny to care.
Both of the men came at the same time, their thick hot cum splattering all over my lips and nose and cheeks and my chin, covering my tongue with bittersweet, salty jizz that I swallowed without thinking. I cried out as my own throbbing dick pumped my load into the man sucking me off, on fire with the feeling of sissy Kim’s dick sliding in and out of my asshole.
“Get out of the way, guys,” Kim panted. “One more load for our little slut. Sit on the bench, honey.” She pulled out of my ass.
My asshole twitching and aching exquisitely, my cock tingling and my balls throbbing, I plopped into the seat. I looked up into Kim’s eyes as she stripped off the condom and stuck her boner into my face. I licked the biggest globs of cum from my lips and took her re-pink glistening boner in my mouth, sucking it hard. Moments later I was rewarded with a deep groan and spunk flooding my mouth. Kim pulled back just far enough to give her last thick full spurt onto my lips.
“Welcome to the sissy life, Petra,” Kim said. She grinned at me with a sad smile, while she tucked her dick back into her panties.
All of a sudden I realized she used the name that Pat out in the store had called me. All of a sudden I got a sinking feeling. “Wh-what did you say?”
Tina and the two guys had stowed their cocks into their clothes, leaving me the only one in the booth naked—and dripping cum. When Kim coughed exaggeratedly toward the door, that’s when I knew I was fucked. There was no point in trying to put my clothes on.
Five seconds later, four uniformed cops rushed in. I’m guessing they sent in so many in case I resisted, but one cop was able to put my hands behind and cuff me as I knelt in the middle of the booth. I looked numbly up at the four grinning officers and allowed them to set me on my feet.
Stark naked and streaked with jizz I was marched out of the store while all of the patrons stared at me, some snickering and some leering and saying how they’d fuck me if they got a chance. What worried me was being seen this way out on the sidewalk, being led naked and degraded out of a porno shop.
I was relieved I hadn’t far to go as a paddy wagon was parked right outside. There was a creak as the back door opened. The cops led me to the door. I heard the click-clack of high heels coming up behind us, so I turned my head to see Kim following. A hunky, young cop poked his head out of the back of the paddy wagon and smiled at me. Seeing Kim he reached out and handed her a hundred dollar bill. She took it and walked away. I had been set up.
The young cop pulled me into the back of the wagon where three other cops sat on the benches, stroking erect dicks that jutted out of their uniforms. Standing in the very back of the wagon was Pat, who now wore a police uniform with sergeant stripes. She looked at me with approval as I stood before her naked and covered with jism.
“Petra, I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me,” she purred, making her way to me.
“P-Pat?” I gasped.
“Sergeant Patricia Dunston,” she said. “And your name is now Petra.” She nodded to the other cops. “Men, let’s show this sissy what we do with a sex offender.”
For half an hour the four male cops took turns fucking my asshole and my mouth, pumping more cum into my asshole and down my throat. All the while Pat had taken off her police trousers and was fingering her clit, bringing herself to several orgasms by the time her cops were done fucking me.
I lay there on the rubber mat in the floor of the van, covered with cum. Pat stood and looked down on me, clucking her tongue in mock disappointment and shaking her head with disapproval. Her cops all stood over me, grinning at her.
“Look at you, Petra. You’re quite a mess. We can’t take you to jail all covered with semen. Why… the other prisoners would never let you alone.” She looked around at her guys with an evil smile. “I think we should wash her off, don’t you?”
“But we don’t have any water in here, Ma’am,” laughed the young cop who brought me into the van.
“Well,” she said, squatting over my face, “we’ll have to improvise. Will you men join me?”
I didn’t lose my boner the whole time.
HERE’S THE WHOLE BOOK: amazon.com/dp/B00G2DL0AS
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 13:50 | Reply
Hey, do you make good money with those books?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 14:16 | Reply
wtf
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 11:18 | # | Reply
are you fucking serious you leave with a joke?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 11:17 | # | Reply
i dont understand. is this it? you just up and fucking leave? granted you do what you want and all but knowing you have a fanbase and just dipping without any explanation? come on man what the fuck? i have been a staunch supporter of shadbase since 2015 and without any explanation youre just gone? ive got to say ive never thought bad upon until now if this is in fact your way of doing things. have a good life
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 11:07 | # | Reply
Hey Shad, since Borderlands 3 came out are we Covina see some Amara and Moze stuff?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 11:05 | # | Reply
Hey Shad since borderlands 3 came out are we gonna see some Amara and Moze stuff?
Fan
Fan
September 13, 2019 at 10:58 | # | Reply
When there be any new pices?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 10:41 | # | Reply
so long you sexy skeleton boi
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 09:39 | # | Reply
My god, some of you are blind as fuck. Check the archive if you want your reaper shit back lmao
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 08:58 | # | Reply
Nice,
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 08:54 | # | Reply
Thanks for everything enjoy yourself 😊 you’ve given us more than we deserve now treat yourself buddy 😘
UroSenpai
UroSenpai
September 13, 2019 at 08:25 | # | Reply
What are y’all talking about? Who’s reaper? Why are y’all saying shad is gone?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 08:03 | # | Reply
Not the store, not the cigarettes ;'[
ThatEbonyBitch
ThatEbonyBitch
September 13, 2019 at 07:52 | # | Reply
I like this, but I would have LOVED if it was a futa throat fucking her.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 07:49 | # | Reply
If this is goodbye, Goodnight sweet prince, thanks for the faps
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 07:31 | # | Reply
any daddies looking for a YOUNG twink kik me TWlNKY02. the I is actually a lowercase L. into anything and everything hmu.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 09:42 | Reply
Send me pics
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 07:26 | # | Reply
Send me ass pics, I’ll send some back. Diaxero#7661
Anon
Anon
September 13, 2019 at 07:06 | # | Reply
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you delete a post immediately without the threat of a lawsuit. I feel like reaper has had enough of getting fucked in the ass.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 06:49 | # | Reply
Hey Shad, I can’t say I’m someone who’s seen all of your work, or liked most of it. But you don’t deserve all the hate you’ve gotten, sure your humor is dark and off putting, but that shouldn’t be something that marks you as a dead man. You’re doing what you enjoy, and I respect that. No one should wish death upon you, or anyone, you’re as much of an average person than anyone on planet earth. You’re beautiful Shad, and I wish you well.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 06:33 | # | Reply
Prison school anime is so fucken hot you should do something from that show like a straight shota the anime chicks on there are sexy as Fuck
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 06:25 | # | Reply
Get well soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 06:21 | # | Reply
We all love you shad and hope you are doing well take your time buddy.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 05:45 | # | Reply
Kik me @oofnut72 send me dick pics/ass pics m18 bi
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 05:16 | # | Reply
Whaaat I hope you’re not leaving. I was just starting getting into you…
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 04:43 | # | Reply
1 2 3 4 i declare a thumb war
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 07:42 | Reply
5 6 7 8 i use this hand to masterbate
SCAVENGER
SCAVENGER
September 13, 2019 at 04:26 | # | Reply
Shad, elephant in the room and all, I hope you’re doing ok. Aside from the sex stuff, your style and dark humor always cracked me up. And everytime any of your stuff circles through my friends’ phones I adore going like “Ooh, who could have done that? I really have no clue where this might have come from” muahahaha. You’re the best. Hope you’re safe, healthy and well!!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 04:21 | # | Reply
Any femboys/sissys/traps looking for a daddy Message me on kik. Traxuro
Skully
Skully
September 13, 2019 at 04:14 | # | Reply
Hey Shad, just wanted to say, I’ve always loved your work. You’re one of the greatest artists I know. I’ve been following you for the past 7 years and your art has greatly improved in quality over the years and your stuff is always great. I don’t know what’s all that talk about you leaving or the bullshit people are saying, but you’ll remain, in my books, one of the best and I hope you get better, if you’re going through a dark phase. I care!
VictoriaCross
VictoriaCross
September 13, 2019 at 04:12 | # | Reply
Shad I dont know whats going on but I am a big fan of your awesome skills in drawing and art. I hope your doing okay.. I know you know internet is toxic with full of scum bags and faggots. But to me your an awesome guy with great talent. Hope to hear from you soon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:49 | # | Reply
Mr. Shadman, if this is goodbye, I want to thank you for all that you have done for us, for all those times that have made my day, for all those “private moments” in which you and your comics have accompanied me, for all those times that made me erase the history.
And if this is a see you later, I hope to see you again soon: D
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:08 | # | Reply
You should do a prison school straight shota
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:45 | Reply
Agreed
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 11:57 | Reply
With some loli!
Festering
Festering
September 13, 2019 at 02:43 | # | Reply
this is a metaphor for something really wussy, isn’t it?
Captain Grumpy
Captain Grumpy
September 13, 2019 at 02:12 | # | Reply
I’ll tell you what we need; someone with ideas and passion to see shit through rather than posting flakey dick-girl pics and boring and fuck content. Don’t come back from the store until you find that!
IT IS I, ZIM!
IT IS I, ZIM!
September 13, 2019 at 02:55 | Reply
Shut the fuck up, nigga. He can draw whatever the fuck he wants. go get a job.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:01 | Reply
U get a job faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 04:49 | Reply
no one cares that you’re jerking off to hentai and don’t like specific kinds of hentai. go jerk off somewhere else if you don’t like shad’s work, moron.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 10:55 | Reply
Y’all need jobs!
dumbfuck educator
dumbfuck educator
September 13, 2019 at 05:40 | Reply
Who’s “we”? You and your child-molester father? Do you swallow his cum?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 06:06 | Reply
Whoever the we is, you’ll never be part of it because you’re always going to be alone, you sad old bitch
dumbfuck educator
dumbfuck educator
September 13, 2019 at 08:24 | Reply
That shows how little you know. Your mother is on her knees eating my snatch right now.
(She says you wet the bed until you were twelve and you love jacking off the family dog.)
Neuroticbun
Neuroticbun
September 13, 2019 at 02:01 | # | Reply
The ppl who think shad is gonna quit over harrassment dont realize this dude has been doing this for like a whole ass decade. He made 2 whole websites for this, he’s collabed with tons of artists and draws like a fckin printing press. It’s clearly his passion and dumb ass comments prbly dont faze him at all at this point.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 01:26 | # | Reply
What happeed? why did his newest upload get deleted and his description/caption for this one change?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:27 | Reply
Because it was some of the gayest garbage he’s ever done. Shad has been on a downward spiral for quite some time. Nowadays it’s 90% gay shit, with some scat and ass worship thrown in for good measure.
Try and go back to the last set he even finished, much less which was decent. It says quite a bit when Jlullabys blacked spam was better than what Shad has produced in a long time.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 04:29 | Reply
Cry more
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:33 | # | Reply
He’s probably not coming back, read the description
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:57 | Reply
No dude, hes just going to the store. I bet he and my dad will meet there and come back home soon. They sure like to take their time! hahahahaha
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 01:08 | Reply
He is not black
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:39 | Reply
He actually is half black
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:32 | # | Reply
well. that’s it. im actually killing myself. im unironically going to go into a forest near my house and blow my brains out with a 12 gauge shotgun within the next week.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:45 | Reply
oof!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 01:40 | Reply
Imagine killing yourself over Shadbase OMEGALUL
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 02:38 | Reply
Agreed, if this is the thing that takes him out of the game then clearly he was never going to have a long life
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 05:08 | Reply
Let us know how it goes :)
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:31 | # | Reply
I love to see a pinup of the emo girl
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:30 | # | Reply
Look fellas, I instantly was repulsed by the Reaper shit but who the fuck cares, just go jerk yourself off to whatever the hell you want and stop being such a pussy that you cant handle seeing a fucking dick. Jesus fuck. You know there are an audience that did care for that art regardless of how little there are and its his fucking passion. You think hes garbage then go make your own art and fap to it fag
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:13 | # | Reply
Hey peaplo shad dont have deleted they are just in other place
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:41 | # | Reply
I don’t know what’s going on shadbase or whatever but I hope things turn out alright
Breadytoastyy
Breadytoastyy
September 12, 2019 at 23:32 | # | Reply
Wait what? The reaper one got deleted?? Wtf why???
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 00:37 | Reply
Its just somewhere else. Look in the archive
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:20 | # | Reply
Yo, I’ve been a fan of your work for a while, and like some guy said before me, keep doing what you want to do. If people don’t like it fuck them, it’s your art and your vision. I’m personally not a fan of the fruitier stuff but I still check every upload, and I still appreciate the art even if it’s not my type. (There’s plenty you drop that I do really like, don’t get me wrong.) but yeah, idk if you deleted the stuff cuz of hate comments but fuck those losers. Sincerely, a caring follower
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:34 | Reply
Wtf the reaper one got deleted??? Wtff??? Why???
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:05 | # | Reply
Shad quit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:03 | # | Reply
I dont like gay/animal porn but did the reaper one need to get deleted surely shad should be able to do as he pleases what happened to it? Guess he fell to critizism?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:26 | Reply
Nah the date got changed to July 15
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 22:35 | # | Reply
hey shad long time fan, sorry you get so much shit for doing your own thing. Fuck em bro
samurai crazy
samurai crazy
September 12, 2019 at 22:13 | # | Reply
biggest nonbruh moment: eating shadow persons ass out
SHADSAFAG
SHADSAFAG
September 12, 2019 at 22:07 | # | Reply
Good riddance.
Fucking draw disgusting faggy shit for months only to release a few good ones that don’t immediately make you want to vomit and never follow up on them.
Fuck outta here bitch, don’t let the door hit your faggy ass on your way out.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 22:38 | Reply
I agree I hate fucking faggot shit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:28 | Reply
Good. You two can go jerk each other off and leave.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:18 | Reply
Where’s your art work at?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 21:57 | # | Reply
Yo guys so I did the math, and it turns out there isn’t any porn of Zebra-Tiger hybrid beings, so we need to get Shad to make some; lets make this a team effort- AND NO FURRIES. We’re gonna call them monster girls so we can get away with this shit. NO FUCKING FURRIES.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 21:32 | # | Reply
Someone is messing with shad’s website other than shad.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 21:35 | Reply
Really?!
Tensa Zangetsu: God of Destruction (U13)
Tensa Zangetsu: God of Destruction (U13)
September 12, 2019 at 20:52 | # | Reply
Wait… didnt we see this already
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 20:32 | # | Reply
Hey Shad, could you maybe make more sexual non-violent lollicon?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 23:39 | Reply
I think hes done with the loli stuff. He deleted a bunch of them from his archive
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 20:24 | # | Reply
Just like my dad and uncle
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:43 | # | Reply
Nah my dad said that and he’s gonna be back anytime soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:43 | # | Reply
Nah my dad said that and he’s gonna come back anytime soon
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:39 | # | Reply
At least he didn’t say he’s going to 7-Eleven to get scratchers.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:37 | # | Reply
At least he didn’t say he’s going to 7-Eleven to get scratchers.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:36 | # | Reply
get dabbed on, talentless hack
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:28 | # | Reply
Say sike right now..
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:05 | # | Reply
I think everyone’s overreacting, if shad was leaving he wouldn’t do it like this, this is probably just a dumb meme
Gloobis
Gloobis
September 12, 2019 at 18:48 | # | Reply
Bye Shad, You will always hold a special place in my folder.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 18:40 | # | Reply
Hey what happened to the latest post? And why has the description changed? What’s going on???
NiN0
NiN0
September 12, 2019 at 18:40 | # | Reply
put a dick on it
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 18:39 | # | Reply
Why do people think Shad is gonna leave? He just said he is gonna go get cigs.. what’s the big deal?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 18:35 | # | Reply
Shad has grown a lot. No more smut, gore, loli, and now he’s even going to hospitals!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:05 | Reply
Lol go somewhere else you fucking pedophile freakshow nobody on earth wants you alive
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:27 | Reply
It takes one to know onw.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:49 | Reply
So many moralfags on shadbase these days.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 03:38 | Reply
People jerking off to horse cocks trying to play moral police over Loli lmao
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 18:06 | # | Reply
Good bye trooper.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 18:04 | # | Reply
I want some kool aid
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 17:58 | # | Reply
Finally this pedo perv is under arrest.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:24 | Reply
you cant get arrested for drawings you dumb fuck
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:27 | Reply
Yes you can in the EU
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:31 | Reply
LMAO
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:36 | Reply
Get REKT EU
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 17:55 | # | Reply
Get back soon!!
Venerable Atlas
Venerable Atlas
September 12, 2019 at 17:25 | # | Reply
He deleted his last post….
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 17:29 | Reply
he did not delete it, check the archive.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:54 | Reply
Archive only goes up to this post. Rest are deleted.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 17:12 | # | Reply
COWARD!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 20:19 | Reply
Kys faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 16:46 | # | Reply
Goodbye dad, and thanks for all the smut
bruh
bruh
September 12, 2019 at 16:51 | Reply
idk, check his twitter, it says hes going to the store to get some cigs
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 16:25 | # | Reply
Wtf is going on, why is everyone saying goodbye shad and shit
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 17:56 | Reply
He said that he’s going to the store to get some cigarettes
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 16:24 | # | Reply
its been real
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 15:58 | # | Reply
You can smell the cringe preteens in this chatroom.
The motherfucker
The motherfucker
September 12, 2019 at 15:44 | # | Reply
Fuck Shad. He’s a shitter pussy and a coward anyway.
So much for the edge lord persona that he hid behind a mask for years. even with a mask on he was still to afraid to be controversial.
He became the villain ironically, and it’s better if he just quit now and stayed gone.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 20:51 | Reply
nigga you got low iq or some shit
A FaceToSitOn
A FaceToSitOn
September 12, 2019 at 15:41 | # | Reply
Can you get me some crackets and like and entre comic of ms increíble doing some full facesitting
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 15:26 | # | Reply
I sincerely hope this message will have no sense in a few days as you’ll post some more and still live in our hearts, goodbye shad.
You’ve been an inspiration source ever since I was way too fucking young to be here. I remember my first time here, back when the last post was of the man suiciding, seeing bimbo death, believe it was her first issue here.
I remember waiting for the shezo art, the first animations of spazkid here, all the kim comics, the sonic arts, the deadpool, the paper mario arts too, man that was life.
I really liked how you and Jlullaby did awesome content, I know it was controversial and I hope JL is okay, even tho he stopped everything, I hope he just moved on to something else, and is safe where he is.
I hope you are too. Thank you for all these years, stay what you are, please feel better.
See you shad.
Oh and since you’re going out, can you grab me a can of inspiration or two ? Without you, man am I gonna lack of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 17:48 | Reply
faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:12 | Reply
No you
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 14:47 | # | Reply
sleep paralysis be like
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 13:55 | # | Reply
Can you grab me a can of uhhhhh…. Lemme get uhhmmmm… uhhh….. FoRtNiTe BoRgEr
n0j
n0j
September 12, 2019 at 13:40 | # | Reply
Shadman please do more like this. I’ve had bouts of sleep paralysis most my life and I am a fan of this theme lmfao!
Reroboy
Reroboy
September 12, 2019 at 12:30 | # | Reply
First Twitch, now twitter, please don’t leave us
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 12:02 | # | Reply
SHAD we love your work and I want you to do something unexpected…i want you to ruin our childhood…do one for code name kids next door!!! Please senpai
SCAMMER ALERT!
SCAMMER ALERT!
September 12, 2019 at 18:36 | Reply
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER SOCKPUPPET!
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NOTICE HOW THE DUMB-ASS CRIMINAL ALWAYS POSTS A STUPID, INANE COMMENT LIKE “Wow I like it” RIGHT ABOVE HIS PHISHING LINK. THIS ASSHO;LE MUST BE DESPERATE TO BUY CHEAP VODKA FOR HIS DRUNKEN DAD WHO ANALLY RAPES HIM EVERY NIGHT
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 11:59 | # | Reply
Wow I like it:
fubars.pw/video-4291.avi
Common!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 12:03 | Reply
I sincerely hope this message will have no sense in a few days as you’ll post some more and still live in our hearts, goodbye shad.
You’ve been an inspiration source ever since I was way too fucking young to be here. I remember my first time here, back when the last post was of the man suiciding, seeing bimbo death, believe it was her first issue here.
I remember waiting for the shezo art, the first animations of spazkid here, all the kim comics, the sonic arts, the deadpool, the paper mario arts too, man that was life.
I really liked how you and Jlullaby did awesome content, I know it was controversial and I hope JL is okay, even tho he stopped everything, I hope he just moved on to something else, and is safe where he is.
I hope you are too. Thank you for all these years, stay what you are, please feel better.
See you shad.
Oh and since you’re going out, can you grab me a can of inspiration or two ? Without you, man am I gonna lack of it.
GrimarHorns
GrimarHorns
September 12, 2019 at 13:36 | Reply
Did you… Copy my comment ? Wth ?
SCAMMER ALERT!
SCAMMER ALERT!
September 12, 2019 at 18:33 | Reply
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER SOCKPUPPET!
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, fubars.pw may not be safe
Facts about fubars.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 59% / Netherlands: 41%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL.GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
Analnymous
Analnymous
September 12, 2019 at 15:52 | Reply
SCAMMER ALERT — EVERYONE BUT GRIMARHORNS IS A SCAMMER
DON’T CLICK THEIR NAMES OR THEIR LINKS!
SCAMMER ALERT!
SCAMMER ALERT!
September 12, 2019 at 18:31 | Reply
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER HAS A NEW DOMAIN
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, fubars.pw may not be safe
Facts about fubars.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 59% / Netherlands: 41%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. WE’RE ALL OVER YOUR SHIT. GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
KYLIN《赤影》( p_q
KYLIN《赤影》( p_q
September 12, 2019 at 11:50 | # | Reply
大家好啊哈哈哈来这儿做啥啊！
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 11:47 | # | Reply
老外傻逼233
Karcharoth
Karcharoth
September 12, 2019 at 11:22 | # | Reply
What the actual fuck are you absolute motherfucking retards saying? He’s obviously not fucking leaving, right Shäd? You’re not leaving right? Right? Do you want me to fucking kill myself?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 10:37 | # | Reply
COWARD
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 10:04 | # | Reply
y u remov godly gay reaper? u hoooomopooobicccc? u scared of faaaaags?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 11:12 | Reply
It just got moved back. July 15, 2019, I think.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 16:39 | Reply
faggot
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 09:40 | # | Reply
安徽省合肥市瑶海区磨店乡安徽中医药大学少荃湖校区
GrimarHorns
GrimarHorns
September 12, 2019 at 08:26 | # | Reply
I sincerely hope this message will have no sense in a few days as you’ll post some more and still live in our hearts, goodbye shad.
You’ve been an inspiration source ever since I was way too fucking young to be here. I remember my first time here, back when the last post was of the man suiciding, seeing bimbo death, believe it was her first issue here.
I remember waiting for the shezo art, the first animations of spazkid here, all the kim comics, the sonic arts, the deadpool, the paper mario arts too, man that was life.
I really liked how you and Jlullaby did awesome content, I know it was controversial and I hope JL is okay, even tho he stopped everything, I hope he just moved on to something else, and is safe where he is.
I hope you are too. Thank you for all these years, stay what you are, please feel better.
See you shad.
Oh and since you’re going out, can you grab me a can of inspiration or two ? Without you, man am I gonna lack of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 18:11 | Reply
How does being turned into a copypasta feel?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 08:21 | # | Reply
I miss my nigga
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 07:54 | # | Reply
Goodbye then.
Be safe Shad.
Don’t you dare go hollow.
Arkhan the Black
Arkhan the Black
September 12, 2019 at 07:52 | # | Reply
Goodbye then.
Be safe, friend.
Don’t you dare go hollow.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 07:42 | # | Reply
F
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 07:23 | # | Reply
Good bye shad! Thanks for all the work
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 07:02 | # | Reply
Rip my boi shad you made good fap material o7
Fucking loser
Fucking loser
September 12, 2019 at 06:56 | # | Reply
Goodbye shad
Fucking loser
Fucking loser
September 12, 2019 at 06:55 | # | Reply
Goodbye shad
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 06:52 | # | Reply
Goodbye shad
CRDLC
CRDLC
September 12, 2019 at 06:41 | # | Reply
I honestly do not know why everyone thinks Mr. Shad is gonna bail out. I do remember him saying in his last post that he was not very well in health and I do hope he gets better if that’s the case. I’ll come around a week or so to see if he comes around, ’till then cheers Mr. Shad, please bring me a Coke when you get back.
Love.- C.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 02:17 | Reply
He has AIDS.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 06:31 | # | Reply
Looks like I got some archiving to do. Cya, Mr.Shad, and thank you for the pleasure.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 05:59 | # | Reply
can you give me a bottle of water? Thanks
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 05:41 | # | Reply
I found your content a few years ago, although I never commented before, I kinda regret it now. I really appreciated your art and the time you gave us. Feels strange how things escalated so quickly…
Oh yeah! we need more mlik and eggs for breakfast, could you pick some up?
A depressed but thankful Faggot
A depressed but thankful Faggot
September 12, 2019 at 05:38 | # | Reply
Hey Shad, well understand if you have to go, really. But please, take care of yourself. I’ve been a lurker on your site for almost seven years now, but this depraved temple of anarchy kept me sane when my mom died, when I almost killed myself when I couldn’t afford rent for a month, and to this day I still visit this shit everyday, even when I know there wont be anything new. Because this place is still this place have evolved, and still kept its core. I can only thank you for all this messed up shit Shad. I’ll understand if you have to go, but if you feel like it, come back. Well be waiting. peace bro
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig muthafucking smoke
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig muthafucking smoke
September 12, 2019 at 05:32 | # | Reply
I’ll have two number 9’s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45’s, one with cheese, and a large soda.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 05:26 | # | Reply
hey, Shad, if you are already of to the Store, we’re out of Preggo and Corruption Porn, can you grab some, please?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 05:17 | # | Reply
Can anyone told me what is happening and why is everyone saying goodbye to Shadman? Sorry if something happened, i was not here for a month.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 07:33 | Reply
He’s been saying he might not post for awhile do to health and this points description is “I’m going to the store to get se cigarettes,want anything?”
Basically dad’s not coming back
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 08:06 | Reply
He made like 2 posts after this but they got removed
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 15:46 | Reply
this one used to say something different, but now it just says this.
Imaginejizzingpiss
Imaginejizzingpiss
September 12, 2019 at 05:14 | # | Reply
If this is the end then we thank you shad. Its been an amazing run and you’ve never dissapointed me. I hope you have an amazing time off of the site and while i hope this isn’t t goodbye I’ll still understand if it is
I’m panicking
I’m panicking
September 12, 2019 at 04:50 | # | Reply
DADS GONE. NOW WE RIOT.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 04:39 | # | Reply
I hope this isn’t the end for Shad. Shad is the best artist still out there as everything fails. To all you people who keep posting negative comments, just leave. No one likes you anyway
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 08:43 | Reply
Then why does your mom keep sucking my dick?
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 13, 2019 at 02:48 | Reply
Keep sucking shad’s dick, retard
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 04:05 | # | Reply
Kik me @oofnut72 send me dick/ass pics m18, bi
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 04:00 | # | Reply
If you are done thanks for all the amazing work throughout the years Shad.
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 03:57 | # | Reply
então isso é um Adeus? obrigado shad, de um fã brasileiro (so this is goodbye? thank you shad from a brazilian fan) S2
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 03:50 | # | Reply
Who the fuck sleeps with an unplugged alarm clock
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 05:29 | Reply
People who dont plan on waking up
Otacon180
Otacon180
September 12, 2019 at 03:44 | # | Reply
Reupload?
Shadfan
Shadfan
September 12, 2019 at 03:25 | # | Reply
Im gonna cry, bro ill miss you so much if you leave
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 02:50 | # | Reply
Shad, I love and respect your work; thank you. If you’re leaving, have a good one; Don’t let your talents go to waste. That’s what I need from the store. Also, if you could get me a mountain dew that’d be great
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 02:42 | # | Reply
Good thing I saved the photos from that reaper post lol
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 05:32 | Reply
Its bot gone just reorganised to be with the other OW posts
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 02:35 | # | Reply
If he comes back I will be happy but if he quits I understand it’s his life not ours may he be happy and successful in all of his endeavours.
The Last Melon
The Last Melon
September 12, 2019 at 02:27 | # | Reply
I don’t know what happened to the Reaper post, Shad, but I came here to say that you did it. You finally fucking did it.
You turned me gay. It’s a weird feeling, but I just did some gay shit, and I liked it.
Fuck.
But congratulations on achieving this.
The Last Melon
The Last Melon
September 12, 2019 at 02:30 | Reply
Waitaminute, hold the motherfucking phone… “going to the store to get cigarettes?”
Fuck. Not like this!
Shad, this is not cool! Please, don’t leave like this!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 02:35 | Reply
Shit he got you
The Last Melon
The Last Melon
September 12, 2019 at 02:39 | Reply
Waitaminute, hold the mofucking phone… “going to the store to get cigarettes?”
No, Shad! Not like this! Not cool! Don’t leave!
The Last Melon
The Last Melon
September 12, 2019 at 02:42 | Reply
Dammit, I thought my other comment didn’t get through, so I posted it again. Oh, well. I guess it just emphasizes how upset I am!
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 02:48 | Reply
Feels mortified man
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 04:49 | Reply
:(
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 12, 2019 at 19:17 | Reply
So a horse fucking an overwatch character made you gay?.. um.. congrats on that?.. hope you feel proud :/
The Last Melon
The Last Melon
September 12, 2019 at 22:22 | Reply
No, it wasn’t that. It was some of his other stuff. The trap stuff he was doing. I’ve also been opening myself up to my sexuality. Trying not to be so insecure. I’m not purely gay. I’d say I’m bisexual. Bur I think you get my point. This just happened to coincide with his Reaper post (which I actually didn’t like much).
I hope that makes sense.
I’m pretty sure some new post came after this and now I cant find the stuff that came out after this hmmmm
I’m pretty sure some new post came after this and now I cant find the stuff that came out after this
Hey Shad since borderlands 3 came out are we gonna see some Amara and Moze stuff??
Am I the only one who is liking this new Shadman phase?
You mean the fucked off and is never coming back stage?
Yeah, I am enjoying it
Yes you are
So long, parnter
You’re not coming back from the store, are you? :(
You’re not coming back from the store, are you?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER HAS A NEW DOMAIN
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, fubars.pw may not be safe
Facts about fubars.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 59% / Netherlands: 41%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. WE’RE ALL OVER YOUR SHIT. GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
Woow! I like it:
fubars.pw/video-4281
Yeeep!
Just imagine you’re 18 years old, fascinated by trannies, and you don’t know it yet, but you’re about to be sentenced to SHEMALE PRISON!
——
I knew deep down that if I went back there I might love it so much I’d never come out. I might end up as one of those shemale hookers or porn stars. After all, that was my main fantasy and had been ever since I first saw shemale porn. However, I knew that no matter how much I dreamed about it, I’d have to support myself somehow in that life and I was too much a chicken to throw myself into that kind of an ordeal.
Fifteen minutes later I had picked out my video. It was called “Shemale Gangbang Slut” and it appeared to center on a young tranny who became the centerpiece of an orgy, kind of like my favorite fantasy. I stared reverently as her feminine face all covered with jizz, her rock-hard nine inches, and her mouth twisted in ecstasy as she took a huge cock up the ass. I so wanted to be her! Actually be her.
“That’s a good one,” said a raspy female voice over my shoulder.
“Er… huh?”
“That movie. I liked it. I’m a fan of that genre. For whatever reason I just love the whole transgender thing—transsexuals and sissies and all. I’m Pat. What’s your name, honey?”
I took her outstretched hand without thinking, amazed how such a soft hand could be so strong. “I… I’m Peter—Pete—Peter.”
“Petra,” she chuckled, squeezing my hand before releasing it.
“I’m sorry?”
“Please forgive me. When I meet a pretty young man like you it amuses me to come up with a girl’s name. Sorry… Peter.”
I tingled with heady pleasure when she called me a girl’s name. I liked it. Just then I heard a muffled moan and my eyes darted toward the red curtain. She saw.
“Why don’t you go back there?” Pat suggested kindly. “I see you looking toward that curtain all the time. I saw you run through the corridor a couple of times. Why don’t you go satisfy your curiosity? Instead of dashing through there, stop at a booth and go in.”
“I guess I’m afraid.”
“Afraid you won’t like it and your fantasy will be blown?” She looked at me with affection, an almost parental, fond expression on her face.
“I think I’m afraid I’ll love it and it will become a reality instead of a fantasy.”
“And that would be bad?” she questioned doubtfully.
“Just… scary.”
“I understand,” she said kindly. She put her lips to my ear. “I still think you should try.” She gently took my free hand and dropped in a dozen arcade tokens. “First time is on me… Petra.” She winked.
She gave my cheek a gentle stroke and then walked out of the store. I watched her depart, the sexy swing of her generous, shapely ass in those skin-tight jeans. I wanted to bury my face in that ass! I looked again toward the arcade.
I stood outside the curtain and looked at the marquee box that showed all the movies playing back there and the booths they were playing in. I stopped breathing for a moment when I saw the video I had in my hand was one of them: the gorgeous, young tranny covered in cum and surrounded by throbbing dicks, including her own. It was perfect—I could see if the video was any good, get myself off, or… maybe I’d find myself in the middle of something I could barely imagine.
Screw it. What’s the worst that could happen?
The soft velvet caressed my face as I pushed through. I was momentarily blind as I went from the cool, bright fluorescence of the store to the dim, red-lit narrow aisle between two rows of video booths. Each little room had a dimly illuminated number, some more bright than others. As I slowly passed them I could tell that the brighter ones were vacant, because the others emanated the sounds of porno and masturbation, and sounded more… oral in nature.
Somebody is giving a blowjob!
Halfway down was booth 18, the one showing my movie. Before I even reached its door I knew I would go inside. Moments later I was sitting on a plastic bench in an even dimmer cubicle that smelled of cum, which fortunately was on the floor instead of the bench. There was just enough light to find the narrow shelf to set my tokens and the coin box that ran the video and made it play on the twenty-inch screen. I fed in a token right away.
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, fubars.pw may not be safe
Facts about fubars.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 59% / Netherlands: 41%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. WE’RE ALL OVER YOUR SHIT. GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE.
So long Shad cowboy
Shadman if you die can I have your stuff?
Hey, christeeny, do you make good money with that stuff?
She’s copy/pasting other people’s work you fucking idiot and no it’s not a well paid industry as it’s audience is sad, lonely women over 50 which describes christeeny well, except for the woman part, seeing as since the menopause she’s nothing but the dried up husk of something that used to be a woman
Your mother wants to know why you hate her so much.
Was it all the ice water enemas when you were in junior high?
Who?
Shadman I’ll send you a pic of me collaring my loli niece if you come back just don’t abandon us like her dad abandoned her
I wanna blow your arms and feet off
So what’s this shit about shad leaving, did he quit or what’s going on.
Don’t tell me all this fuss is about him taking a few sick days.
Just imagine you’re 18 years old, fascinated by trannies, and you don’t know it yet, but you’re about to be sentenced to SHEMALE PRISON!
——
I knew deep down that if I went back there I might love it so much I’d never come out. I might end up as one of those shemale hookers or porn stars. After all, that was my main fantasy and had been ever since I first saw shemale porn. However, I knew that no matter how much I dreamed about it, I’d have to support myself somehow in that life and I was too much a chicken to throw myself into that kind of an ordeal.
Fifteen minutes later I had picked out my video. It was called “Shemale Gangbang Slut” and it appeared to center on a young tranny who became the centerpiece of an orgy, kind of like my favorite fantasy. I stared reverently as her feminine face all covered with jizz, her rock-hard nine inches, and her mouth twisted in ecstasy as she took a huge cock up the ass. I so wanted to be her! Actually be her.
“That’s a good one,” said a raspy female voice over my shoulder.
“Er… huh?”
“That movie. I liked it. I’m a fan of that genre. For whatever reason I just love the whole transgender thing—transsexuals and sissies and all. I’m Pat. What’s your name, honey?”
I took her outstretched hand without thinking, amazed how such a soft hand could be so strong. “I… I’m Peter—Pete—Peter.”
“Petra,” she chuckled, squeezing my hand before releasing it.
“I’m sorry?”
“Please forgive me. When I meet a pretty young man like you it amuses me to come up with a girl’s name. Sorry… Peter.”
I tingled with heady pleasure when she called me a girl’s name. I liked it. Just then I heard a muffled moan and my eyes darted toward the red curtain. She saw.
“Why don’t you go back there?” Pat suggested kindly. “I see you looking toward that curtain all the time. I saw you run through the corridor a couple of times. Why don’t you go satisfy your curiosity? Instead of dashing through there, stop at a booth and go in.”
“I guess I’m afraid.”
“Afraid you won’t like it and your fantasy will be blown?” She looked at me with affection, an almost parental, fond expression on her face.
“I think I’m afraid I’ll love it and it will become a reality instead of a fantasy.”
“And that would be bad?” she questioned doubtfully.
“Just… scary.”
“I understand,” she said kindly. She put her lips to my ear. “I still think you should try.” She gently took my free hand and dropped in a dozen arcade tokens. “First time is on me… Petra.” She winked.
She gave my cheek a gentle stroke and then walked out of the store. I watched her depart, the sexy swing of her generous, shapely ass in those skin-tight jeans. I wanted to bury my face in that ass! I looked again toward the arcade.
I stood outside the curtain and looked at the marquee box that showed all the movies playing back there and the booths they were playing in. I stopped breathing for a moment when I saw the video I had in my hand was one of them: the gorgeous, young tranny covered in cum and surrounded by throbbing dicks, including her own. It was perfect—I could see if the video was any good, get myself off, or… maybe I’d find myself in the middle of something I could barely imagine.
Screw it. What’s the worst that could happen?
The soft velvet caressed my face as I pushed through. I was momentarily blind as I went from the cool, bright fluorescence of the store to the dim, red-lit narrow aisle between two rows of video booths. Each little room had a dimly illuminated number, some more bright than others. As I slowly passed them I could tell that the brighter ones were vacant, because the others emanated the sounds of porno and masturbation, and sounded more… oral in nature.
Somebody is giving a blowjob!
Halfway down was booth 18, the one showing my movie. Before I even reached its door I knew I would go inside. Moments later I was sitting on a plastic bench in an even dimmer cubicle that smelled of cum, which fortunately was on the floor instead of the bench. There was just enough light to find the narrow shelf to set my tokens and the coin box that ran the video and made it play on the twenty-inch screen. I fed in a token right away.
The video picked up somewhere past the beginning, starting up in a sex scene with the young, light-skinned Latina tranny on the cover sucking on a nine-inch shemale cock while a black guy fucked her ass doggy-style with what looked like a ten inches of thick dick. Globs of white stickiness covered her face and large silicone tits. I couldn’t take my eyes off the cock in her mouth. My boner strained at my pants.
I didn’t think of who might come in or anything; I immediately took my dick out and started whacking off. Within two minutes I was ready to cum but then I looked at that stack of tokens and realized I could draw this out. Besides, part of me desperately wanted someone to come in here. A moment later, maybe three minutes from starting the loop, the video shut off and returned the booth to partial darkness.
I fed in a new quarter and was treated to the sex scene continuing. The shemale pulled out of the young tranny’s mouth and spattered jizz all over her lips and tongue, which she lapped up like a treat. I wondered what it must be like to do that. Would I get a chance to find out tonight? I glanced at the door and realized I had instinctually pushed in the button to lock it. I took a deep breath and gave the knob a slight twist. The click of it unlocking was loud, even louder than the film. Fifteen seconds later the knob turned and she walked in.
She was about six-foot but slender. She wore a hooker dress that showed off long, smooth legs and smallish feet in high heels. I don’t know if it was really a she, as in a shemale, or just a really beautiful crossdresser, but I had seen her in the store and seen her go back here many times. All the clerks seemed to know her; they all called her Kim. Her voice was androgynous, like some of those raspy actresses in Hollywood. Right now she looked at me with a desire that almost unnerved me.
“I’d hoped you’d come back here someday,” she said.
“You did?” I asked nervously.
“You’re one of the most beautiful boys ever to come in this store,” she cooed, stroking my face with a soft, feminine hand. “I bet you’d make an even more beautiful girl.”
I shivered with lust at hearing that. She looked down to my throbbing cock still in my hand, then to the video where the young shemale was now sucking a new cock.
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
I bit my lip and nodded my head, as shaky as I was excited.
“Do you want to do what she’s doing? Sucking a shemale dick?”
I nodded again, dizzy with anticipation.
“You have to say it, beautiful.”
“I want to suck a shemale’s dick,” I moaned.
Kim smiled at me. “I’m not exactly a shemale,” she said.
“I don’t care.” I leaned back as she straddled me and pulled up the hem. At least eight inches of cock strained at see-through, French cut white panties. “Oh my god,” I moaned, my mouth hanging open and my lower lip quivering in anticipation.
“Put the rest of the tokens into the box,” she said. “That will give us half an hour of light and a sexy soundtrack.”
With trembling hands I fed the remaining tokens into the coin box. Kim looked down into my eyes with a gentle smile as she pulled down the hem of her panties to expose a cock as big as the one the young tranny had been sucking. With no delay I opened wide and took it into my mouth.
The flesh of her dick was so very soft and delicate yet so very hot. I could actually feel the blood pumping through it with my lips and tongue. As salty-sweet flavor filled my mouth that I was afraid might gag me but instead I swallowed greedily. I was drinking down her pre-ejaculate and loving it as much as I was the feel of her big sissy tool in my mouth.
I’d watched enough cocks being sucked in my small porn video collection to know what to do, but I’d never given any thought to what this moment would really be like. I had been afraid I’d be grossed out. Instead my worst fear had been realized: I loved it. I was a natural born cocksucker, and I knew I was definitely going to be coming to places like this for the rest of my life.
“Oh, honey,” Kim moaned. “That feels so good! You’re such a good baby!”
Spurred by her words I took her dick as deep into my mouth as I could. I was so high on giving this blowjob I was barely aware that someone else had just come in. I stiffened but then I heard Kim greet whoever it was as “Tina.” A moment later a hot, wet mouth closed over my boner. It was a good thing my mouth was full of Kim’s erection because my groan would have been heard all the way out to the cash register!
I felt large, soft hands with long nails expertly unbutton my pants and tug them down, followed by my tight jockey shorts. Somehow Tina managed to keep sucking my cock while she removed my shoes, socks and everything else until I was naked from the waist down. Meanwhile I sucked Kim with such a passion I never knew I had, praying she’d fill my mouth with her cum. Then the door opened again.
I looked up to see two guys standing to either side of me, their dicks jutting out their zippers. They guided my hands to their boners. Now I was sucking a sissy’s big cock, getting a blowjob and jacking off two guys. One of them took off my shirt, making me completely naked, which I was ready for. I wanted to feel as sexy as possible. If there had been lingerie to change me into I’d have done it.
I eagerly put myself into their hands, so that when Kim said she was going to fuck me I allowed myself to be fully stripped and bent over the shelf that’d held the video tokens. A clean-shaven face burrowed between my spread asscheeks and licked my asshole while Kim unwrapped a condom and rolled it over her boner, then squeezed a foil envelope of lube on it.
“You want me to fully make you a sissy girl?” Kim asked me.
“Oh please, yes!” I moaned. “Fuck me!”
She started with one lubed finger, and then added another. I couldn’t believe how easily my ass opened up to her. By the time she had in a third finger I was throwing my ass back against her hand. I begged her to fuck me.
Tina, who I could see was a well-hung black shemale had leaned against the shelf in front of me and guided my hands around her waist, putting her uncut, foot-long tool right in my face. While I waited for Kim to penetrate me, I sucked on Tina’s ebony cock. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to suck down every drop of her cum.
“Little sister is an eager cocksucker,” Tina sighed. “What a natural!”
I started to moan my thanks when Kim slowly slid her entire big dick all the way into me. I groaned like I’d never felt anything so pleasurable. Meanwhile one of the guys took over sucking my thrumming cock. The other one rubbed his dick all over my face, leaving drips of precum. Just then another guy entered and started jacking off on the other side of my face.
Part of me wondered if they’d all been hanging out and waiting for an orgy to get started in one of the booths but I was too horny and overwhelmed with erotic rapture to give it much thought. So many firsts all at once, starting with Kim’s massive boner filling me up and setting my asshole tingling with an exposed, vulnerable, dirty feeling that made me feel like a big slut because I loved it so much. I wanted to get fucked up my ass every day and every night forever!
Tina’s made the second dick I’d ever had in my mouth. Her tranny cock oozed salty precum that made me want to taste the real thing. Like Kim’s cock, the flesh was so delicate and yet hot and hard at the same time. Finally, I’d never gotten a blowjob, either. The guy sucking me off had his hand cupped around my balls. Whenever I felt like I was going to spurt into his mouth he pulled off me and tightened his thumb and forefinger around the base of my shaft, stopping me from cumming. Then he began sucking again.
Soft little moans came from Tina’s mouth. “I don’t know what’s sexier: watching this baby sissy love sucking my dick or love getting fucked.”
“What’s sexy to me is I’m pretty sure she’s a cherry,” Kim panted, fucking me harder to my delight.
I moaned deeply and begged her to fuck me harder still.
“Is that right, honey?” Tina said. “Are you a virgin?”
I looked up into her face as I sucked her cock and nodded.
“Oh fuck that’s so sexy. It… Damn, all of a sudden I’m close to popping. Anyone wanna cum in her mouth first?”
“Go for it, girlfriend,” Kim urged.
“Open your mouth wide, darling,” Tina said kindly.
I did as she asked, my eyes squeezed shut but my lips parted wide. I was a little afraid of how it was taste but most of me was thrilled I was going to be a cum-drinking sissy like all the porn I’d watched.
“Open your eyes and look at me, darling,” Tina coaxed.
I looked and saw her big, spit-shiny brown dick pumping through her soft fist, angry purple head dripping clear, sticky fluid pointed at my tongue. It looked so sexy!
“You’ve never tasted cum before, either.” She said it as a statement.
“No,” I admitted in a tiny voice. “I haven’t. Not even my own.”
“Oh, fuck, that’s hot!” Tina enthused. “Her mouth is cherry too! I… I… oh fuck!”
A thick white, sticky cord arced from her cockhead and into my mouth, splashing onto my tongue and front teeth, and then another until shat felt like a shotglass full over cum was in my mouth. Without thinking I swallowed it just in time to catch a smaller spurt that partly coated my lips.
Tina’s spunk was tangy-salty, almost sweet. I loved the feel of it on my tongue. Instead of swallowing I pushed it around my mouth with my tongue, spreading it on my lips and teeth while I looked up at the grinning shemale with adoring eyes. That was when I heard the guy to my right groan.
“Gonna cum!” he gasped.
I turned my open mouth to his direction while Tina wiped the remaining drops of her cum on my cheek. The guy on my other side began beating off furiously. Hot gasps and moans tore from my mouth as Kim battered my asshole with her huge dick and the guy sucking my dick went for broke, not trying prolong my orgasm any more. I was barely conscious of the guy who’d been on my left stand next to the guy who was about to blow his load into my open mouth.
A tiny part of me was aghast at what I had put myself into— having public sex where anybody could walk in and catch me, swallowing strangers’ cum and eagerly preparing to drink down more semen, while I was getting a blowjob. This was crazy! This was dangerous! Yet I was way too horny to care.
Both of the men came at the same time, their thick hot cum splattering all over my lips and nose and cheeks and my chin, covering my tongue with bittersweet, salty jizz that I swallowed without thinking. I cried out as my own throbbing dick pumped my load into the man sucking me off, on fire with the feeling of sissy Kim’s dick sliding in and out of my asshole.
“Get out of the way, guys,” Kim panted. “One more load for our little slut. Sit on the bench, honey.” She pulled out of my ass.
My asshole twitching and aching exquisitely, my cock tingling and my balls throbbing, I plopped into the seat. I looked up into Kim’s eyes as she stripped off the condom and stuck her boner into my face. I licked the biggest globs of cum from my lips and took her re-pink glistening boner in my mouth, sucking it hard. Moments later I was rewarded with a deep groan and spunk flooding my mouth. Kim pulled back just far enough to give her last thick full spurt onto my lips.
“Welcome to the sissy life, Petra,” Kim said. She grinned at me with a sad smile, while she tucked her dick back into her panties.
All of a sudden I realized she used the name that Pat out in the store had called me. All of a sudden I got a sinking feeling. “Wh-what did you say?”
Tina and the two guys had stowed their cocks into their clothes, leaving me the only one in the booth naked—and dripping cum. When Kim coughed exaggeratedly toward the door, that’s when I knew I was fucked. There was no point in trying to put my clothes on.
Five seconds later, four uniformed cops rushed in. I’m guessing they sent in so many in case I resisted, but one cop was able to put my hands behind and cuff me as I knelt in the middle of the booth. I looked numbly up at the four grinning officers and allowed them to set me on my feet.
Stark naked and streaked with jizz I was marched out of the store while all of the patrons stared at me, some snickering and some leering and saying how they’d fuck me if they got a chance. What worried me was being seen this way out on the sidewalk, being led naked and degraded out of a porno shop.
I was relieved I hadn’t far to go as a paddy wagon was parked right outside. There was a creak as the back door opened. The cops led me to the door. I heard the click-clack of high heels coming up behind us, so I turned my head to see Kim following. A hunky, young cop poked his head out of the back of the paddy wagon and smiled at me. Seeing Kim he reached out and handed her a hundred dollar bill. She took it and walked away. I had been set up.
The young cop pulled me into the back of the wagon where three other cops sat on the benches, stroking erect dicks that jutted out of their uniforms. Standing in the very back of the wagon was Pat, who now wore a police uniform with sergeant stripes. She looked at me with approval as I stood before her naked and covered with jism.
“Petra, I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me,” she purred, making her way to me.
“P-Pat?” I gasped.
“Sergeant Patricia Dunston,” she said. “And your name is now Petra.” She nodded to the other cops. “Men, let’s show this sissy what we do with a sex offender.”
For half an hour the four male cops took turns fucking my asshole and my mouth, pumping more cum into my asshole and down my throat. All the while Pat had taken off her police trousers and was fingering her clit, bringing herself to several orgasms by the time her cops were done fucking me.
I lay there on the rubber mat in the floor of the van, covered with cum. Pat stood and looked down on me, clucking her tongue in mock disappointment and shaking her head with disapproval. Her cops all stood over me, grinning at her.
“Look at you, Petra. You’re quite a mess. We can’t take you to jail all covered with semen. Why… the other prisoners would never let you alone.” She looked around at her guys with an evil smile. “I think we should wash her off, don’t you?”
“But we don’t have any water in here, Ma’am,” laughed the young cop who brought me into the van.
“Well,” she said, squatting over my face, “we’ll have to improvise. Will you men join me?”
I didn’t lose my boner the whole time.
HERE’S THE WHOLE BOOK: amazon.com/dp/B00G2DL0AS
Hey, do you make good money with those books?
Good
wtf
This is fucking hot!!!
Where can I get more???
are you fucking serious you leave with a joke?
i dont understand. is this it? you just up and fucking leave? granted you do what you want and all but knowing you have a fanbase and just dipping without any explanation? come on man what the fuck? i have been a staunch supporter of shadbase since 2015 and without any explanation youre just gone? ive got to say ive never thought bad upon until now if this is in fact your way of doing things. have a good life
Hey Shad, since Borderlands 3 came out are we Covina see some Amara and Moze stuff?
Hey Shad since borderlands 3 came out are we gonna see some Amara and Moze stuff?
When there be any new pices?
so long you sexy skeleton boi
My god, some of you are blind as fuck. Check the archive if you want your reaper shit back lmao
Nice,
Thanks for everything enjoy yourself 😊 you’ve given us more than we deserve now treat yourself buddy 😘
What are y’all talking about? Who’s reaper? Why are y’all saying shad is gone?
Not the store, not the cigarettes ;'[
I like this, but I would have LOVED if it was a futa throat fucking her.
If this is goodbye, Goodnight sweet prince, thanks for the faps
any daddies looking for a YOUNG twink kik me TWlNKY02. the I is actually a lowercase L. into anything and everything hmu.
Send me pics
Send me ass pics, I’ll send some back. Diaxero#7661
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you delete a post immediately without the threat of a lawsuit. I feel like reaper has had enough of getting fucked in the ass.
He didn’t delete it he just moved it to the correct date he made it. Sep 15
Hey Shad, I can’t say I’m someone who’s seen all of your work, or liked most of it. But you don’t deserve all the hate you’ve gotten, sure your humor is dark and off putting, but that shouldn’t be something that marks you as a dead man. You’re doing what you enjoy, and I respect that. No one should wish death upon you, or anyone, you’re as much of an average person than anyone on planet earth. You’re beautiful Shad, and I wish you well.
Prison school anime is so fucken hot you should do something from that show like a straight shota the anime chicks on there are sexy as Fuck
Get well soon
We all love you shad and hope you are doing well take your time buddy.
inspiration – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPdkwN3tc_XYsYqNELb9cqg
Kik me @oofnut72 send me dick pics/ass pics m18 bi
Whaaat I hope you’re not leaving. I was just starting getting into you…
1 2 3 4 i declare a thumb war
5 6 7 8 i use this hand to masterbate
9 10 11 12 i will breed you like an elf
Shad, elephant in the room and all, I hope you’re doing ok. Aside from the sex stuff, your style and dark humor always cracked me up. And everytime any of your stuff circles through my friends’ phones I adore going like “Ooh, who could have done that? I really have no clue where this might have come from” muahahaha. You’re the best. Hope you’re safe, healthy and well!!
Any femboys/sissys/traps looking for a daddy Message me on kik. Traxuro
Hey Shad, just wanted to say, I’ve always loved your work. You’re one of the greatest artists I know. I’ve been following you for the past 7 years and your art has greatly improved in quality over the years and your stuff is always great. I don’t know what’s all that talk about you leaving or the bullshit people are saying, but you’ll remain, in my books, one of the best and I hope you get better, if you’re going through a dark phase. I care!
I just want a full-frame futa girl that’s cumming with some aheago features. Been a minute since we had a futa post as food as this:
https://www.google.com/search?q=shadman+futa&client=tablet-android-samsung&source=android-browser&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj9-5D49szkAhXRJt8KHeJIABMQ_AUoAXoECA0QAQ&biw=601&bih=962&dpr=1.33#imgrc=jSJx-6M6P11hvM&imgdii=vQ6ELdcvHmTxaM
Shad I dont know whats going on but I am a big fan of your awesome skills in drawing and art. I hope your doing okay.. I know you know internet is toxic with full of scum bags and faggots. But to me your an awesome guy with great talent. Hope to hear from you soon.
Mr. Shadman, if this is goodbye, I want to thank you for all that you have done for us, for all those times that have made my day, for all those “private moments” in which you and your comics have accompanied me, for all those times that made me erase the history.
And if this is a see you later, I hope to see you again soon: D
You should do a prison school straight shota
Agreed
With some loli!
Y’all are not very bright: ../../reaper-horse/
It wasn’t deleted, he just moved it further back in the archive. Don’t know why, but it’s there. You fucking idiots.
this is a metaphor for something really wussy, isn’t it?
I’ll tell you what we need; someone with ideas and passion to see shit through rather than posting flakey dick-girl pics and boring and fuck content. Don’t come back from the store until you find that!
Shut the fuck up, nigga. He can draw whatever the fuck he wants. go get a job.
U get a job faggot
no one cares that you’re jerking off to hentai and don’t like specific kinds of hentai. go jerk off somewhere else if you don’t like shad’s work, moron.
Y’all need jobs!
Who’s “we”? You and your child-molester father? Do you swallow his cum?
Whoever the we is, you’ll never be part of it because you’re always going to be alone, you sad old bitch
That shows how little you know. Your mother is on her knees eating my snatch right now.
(She says you wet the bed until you were twelve and you love jacking off the family dog.)
Shut up dumbfuck. We all know you’re in your moms basement, blowing the dog while you’re dad watches in a chicken hat and a superhero cape spraying diarrhea allover your face. You know it’s true because I’m sure this post got your faggot butt wet.
Slit your own throat and bleed into your mothers cunt you dumb fucking whore bag cuntdumpster.
The ppl who think shad is gonna quit over harrassment dont realize this dude has been doing this for like a whole ass decade. He made 2 whole websites for this, he’s collabed with tons of artists and draws like a fckin printing press. It’s clearly his passion and dumb ass comments prbly dont faze him at all at this point.
What happeed? why did his newest upload get deleted and his description/caption for this one change?
Because it was some of the gayest garbage he’s ever done. Shad has been on a downward spiral for quite some time. Nowadays it’s 90% gay shit, with some scat and ass worship thrown in for good measure.
Try and go back to the last set he even finished, much less which was decent. It says quite a bit when Jlullabys blacked spam was better than what Shad has produced in a long time.
Cry more
He’s probably not coming back, read the description
No dude, hes just going to the store. I bet he and my dad will meet there and come back home soon. They sure like to take their time! hahahahaha
He is not black
He actually is half black
well. that’s it. im actually killing myself. im unironically going to go into a forest near my house and blow my brains out with a 12 gauge shotgun within the next week.
oof!
Imagine killing yourself over Shadbase OMEGALUL
Agreed, if this is the thing that takes him out of the game then clearly he was never going to have a long life
Let us know how it goes :)
I love to see a pinup of the emo girl
Look fellas, I instantly was repulsed by the Reaper shit but who the fuck cares, just go jerk yourself off to whatever the hell you want and stop being such a pussy that you cant handle seeing a fucking dick. Jesus fuck. You know there are an audience that did care for that art regardless of how little there are and its his fucking passion. You think hes garbage then go make your own art and fap to it fag
Hey peaplo shad dont have deleted they are just in other place
I don’t know what’s going on shadbase or whatever but I hope things turn out alright
Wait what? The reaper one got deleted?? Wtf why???
Its just somewhere else. Look in the archive
Yo, I’ve been a fan of your work for a while, and like some guy said before me, keep doing what you want to do. If people don’t like it fuck them, it’s your art and your vision. I’m personally not a fan of the fruitier stuff but I still check every upload, and I still appreciate the art even if it’s not my type. (There’s plenty you drop that I do really like, don’t get me wrong.) but yeah, idk if you deleted the stuff cuz of hate comments but fuck those losers. Sincerely, a caring follower
Wtf the reaper one got deleted??? Wtff??? Why???
Shad quit
I dont like gay/animal porn but did the reaper one need to get deleted surely shad should be able to do as he pleases what happened to it? Guess he fell to critizism?
Gosh dang, how many people think he deleted it?!
../../reaper-horse/
Here ya go, you’re welcome.
Nah the date got changed to July 15
hey shad long time fan, sorry you get so much shit for doing your own thing. Fuck em bro
biggest nonbruh moment: eating shadow persons ass out
Good riddance.
Fucking draw disgusting faggy shit for months only to release a few good ones that don’t immediately make you want to vomit and never follow up on them.
Fuck outta here bitch, don’t let the door hit your faggy ass on your way out.
I agree I hate fucking faggot shit
Good. You two can go jerk each other off and leave.
Where’s your art work at?
Yo guys so I did the math, and it turns out there isn’t any porn of Zebra-Tiger hybrid beings, so we need to get Shad to make some; lets make this a team effort- AND NO FURRIES. We’re gonna call them monster girls so we can get away with this shit. NO FUCKING FURRIES.
Someone is messing with shad’s website other than shad.
Really?!
Wait… didnt we see this already
Hey Shad, could you maybe make more sexual non-violent lollicon?
I think hes done with the loli stuff. He deleted a bunch of them from his archive
Just like my dad and uncle
Nah my dad said that and he’s gonna be back anytime soon
Nah my dad said that and he’s gonna come back anytime soon
At least he didn’t say he’s going to 7-Eleven to get scratchers.
At least he didn’t say he’s going to 7-Eleven to get scratchers.
get dabbed on, talentless hack
Say sike right now..
I think everyone’s overreacting, if shad was leaving he wouldn’t do it like this, this is probably just a dumb meme
Bye Shad, You will always hold a special place in my folder.
Hey what happened to the latest post? And why has the description changed? What’s going on???
put a dick on it
Why do people think Shad is gonna leave? He just said he is gonna go get cigs.. what’s the big deal?
Shad has grown a lot. No more smut, gore, loli, and now he’s even going to hospitals!
Lol go somewhere else you fucking pedophile freakshow nobody on earth wants you alive
It takes one to know onw.
So many moralfags on shadbase these days.
People jerking off to horse cocks trying to play moral police over Loli lmao
Good bye trooper.
I want some kool aid
Finally this pedo perv is under arrest.
you cant get arrested for drawings you dumb fuck
Yes you can in the EU
And Canada.
It’s just YOU sick American fucks who allow that trash
LMAO
Get REKT EU
Get back soon!!
He deleted his last post….
he did not delete it, check the archive.
Archive only goes up to this post. Rest are deleted.
COWARD!
Kys faggot
Goodbye dad, and thanks for all the smut
idk, check his twitter, it says hes going to the store to get some cigs
Wtf is going on, why is everyone saying goodbye shad and shit
He said that he’s going to the store to get some cigarettes
its been real
You can smell the cringe preteens in this chatroom.
Fuck Shad. He’s a shitter pussy and a coward anyway.
So much for the edge lord persona that he hid behind a mask for years. even with a mask on he was still to afraid to be controversial.
He became the villain ironically, and it’s better if he just quit now and stayed gone.
nigga you got low iq or some shit
Fucking shoot yourself nigger before the police do it for you
Dont cut yourself on that edge, retard
Don’t cut yourself on that edge, retard
Can you get me some crackets and like and entre comic of ms increíble doing some full facesitting
I sincerely hope this message will have no sense in a few days as you’ll post some more and still live in our hearts, goodbye shad.
You’ve been an inspiration source ever since I was way too fucking young to be here. I remember my first time here, back when the last post was of the man suiciding, seeing bimbo death, believe it was her first issue here.
I remember waiting for the shezo art, the first animations of spazkid here, all the kim comics, the sonic arts, the deadpool, the paper mario arts too, man that was life.
I really liked how you and Jlullaby did awesome content, I know it was controversial and I hope JL is okay, even tho he stopped everything, I hope he just moved on to something else, and is safe where he is.
I hope you are too. Thank you for all these years, stay what you are, please feel better.
See you shad.
Oh and since you’re going out, can you grab me a can of inspiration or two ? Without you, man am I gonna lack of it.
faggot
No you
sleep paralysis be like
Can you grab me a can of uhhhhh…. Lemme get uhhmmmm… uhhh….. FoRtNiTe BoRgEr
Shadman please do more like this. I’ve had bouts of sleep paralysis most my life and I am a fan of this theme lmfao!
First Twitch, now twitter, please don’t leave us
SHAD we love your work and I want you to do something unexpected…i want you to ruin our childhood…do one for code name kids next door!!! Please senpai
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER SOCKPUPPET!
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
NOTICE HOW THE DUMB-ASS CRIMINAL ALWAYS POSTS A STUPID, INANE COMMENT LIKE “Wow I like it” RIGHT ABOVE HIS PHISHING LINK. THIS ASSHO;LE MUST BE DESPERATE TO BUY CHEAP VODKA FOR HIS DRUNKEN DAD WHO ANALLY RAPES HIM EVERY NIGHT
Wow I like it:
fubars.pw/video-4291.avi
Common!
I sincerely hope this message will have no sense in a few days as you’ll post some more and still live in our hearts, goodbye shad.
You’ve been an inspiration source ever since I was way too fucking young to be here. I remember my first time here, back when the last post was of the man suiciding, seeing bimbo death, believe it was her first issue here.
I remember waiting for the shezo art, the first animations of spazkid here, all the kim comics, the sonic arts, the deadpool, the paper mario arts too, man that was life.
I really liked how you and Jlullaby did awesome content, I know it was controversial and I hope JL is okay, even tho he stopped everything, I hope he just moved on to something else, and is safe where he is.
I hope you are too. Thank you for all these years, stay what you are, please feel better.
See you shad.
Oh and since you’re going out, can you grab me a can of inspiration or two ? Without you, man am I gonna lack of it.
Did you… Copy my comment ? Wth ?
WARNING – RUSSIAN SCAMMER SOCKPUPPET!
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY FUBARS.PW DOMAIN LINK
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FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL.GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
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FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. WE’RE ALL OVER YOUR SHIT. GO AWAY FROM SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
大家好啊哈哈哈来这儿做啥啊！
老外傻逼233
What the actual fuck are you absolute motherfucking retards saying? He’s obviously not fucking leaving, right Shäd? You’re not leaving right? Right? Do you want me to fucking kill myself?
COWARD
y u remov godly gay reaper? u hoooomopooobicccc? u scared of faaaaags?
It just got moved back. July 15, 2019, I think.
faggot
安徽省合肥市瑶海区磨店乡安徽中医药大学少荃湖校区
I sincerely hope this message will have no sense in a few days as you’ll post some more and still live in our hearts, goodbye shad.
You’ve been an inspiration source ever since I was way too fucking young to be here. I remember my first time here, back when the last post was of the man suiciding, seeing bimbo death, believe it was her first issue here.
I remember waiting for the shezo art, the first animations of spazkid here, all the kim comics, the sonic arts, the deadpool, the paper mario arts too, man that was life.
I really liked how you and Jlullaby did awesome content, I know it was controversial and I hope JL is okay, even tho he stopped everything, I hope he just moved on to something else, and is safe where he is.
I hope you are too. Thank you for all these years, stay what you are, please feel better.
See you shad.
Oh and since you’re going out, can you grab me a can of inspiration or two ? Without you, man am I gonna lack of it.
How does being turned into a copypasta feel?
I miss my nigga
Goodbye then.
Be safe Shad.
Don’t you dare go hollow.
Goodbye then.
Be safe, friend.
Don’t you dare go hollow.
F
Good bye shad! Thanks for all the work
Rip my boi shad you made good fap material o7
Goodbye shad
Goodbye shad
Goodbye shad
I honestly do not know why everyone thinks Mr. Shad is gonna bail out. I do remember him saying in his last post that he was not very well in health and I do hope he gets better if that’s the case. I’ll come around a week or so to see if he comes around, ’till then cheers Mr. Shad, please bring me a Coke when you get back.
Love.- C.
He has AIDS.
You are AIDS
What do you think now?
Looks like I got some archiving to do. Cya, Mr.Shad, and thank you for the pleasure.
can you give me a bottle of water? Thanks
I found your content a few years ago, although I never commented before, I kinda regret it now. I really appreciated your art and the time you gave us. Feels strange how things escalated so quickly…
Oh yeah! we need more mlik and eggs for breakfast, could you pick some up?
Hey Shad, well understand if you have to go, really. But please, take care of yourself. I’ve been a lurker on your site for almost seven years now, but this depraved temple of anarchy kept me sane when my mom died, when I almost killed myself when I couldn’t afford rent for a month, and to this day I still visit this shit everyday, even when I know there wont be anything new. Because this place is still this place have evolved, and still kept its core. I can only thank you for all this messed up shit Shad. I’ll understand if you have to go, but if you feel like it, come back. Well be waiting. peace bro
I’ll have two number 9’s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45’s, one with cheese, and a large soda.
hey, Shad, if you are already of to the Store, we’re out of Preggo and Corruption Porn, can you grab some, please?
Can anyone told me what is happening and why is everyone saying goodbye to Shadman? Sorry if something happened, i was not here for a month.
He’s been saying he might not post for awhile do to health and this points description is “I’m going to the store to get se cigarettes,want anything?”
Basically dad’s not coming back
He made like 2 posts after this but they got removed
this one used to say something different, but now it just says this.
I remember it said something different. Wish I had seen the other two posts though
If this is the end then we thank you shad. Its been an amazing run and you’ve never dissapointed me. I hope you have an amazing time off of the site and while i hope this isn’t t goodbye I’ll still understand if it is
DADS GONE. NOW WE RIOT.
I hope this isn’t the end for Shad. Shad is the best artist still out there as everything fails. To all you people who keep posting negative comments, just leave. No one likes you anyway
Then why does your mom keep sucking my dick?
Keep sucking shad’s dick, retard
Kik me @oofnut72 send me dick/ass pics m18, bi
If you are done thanks for all the amazing work throughout the years Shad.
então isso é um Adeus? obrigado shad, de um fã brasileiro (so this is goodbye? thank you shad from a brazilian fan) S2
Um br finalmente, mas porque todos estão se despedindo ?
Who the fuck sleeps with an unplugged alarm clock
People who dont plan on waking up
Reupload?
Im gonna cry, bro ill miss you so much if you leave
Shad, I love and respect your work; thank you. If you’re leaving, have a good one; Don’t let your talents go to waste. That’s what I need from the store. Also, if you could get me a mountain dew that’d be great
Good thing I saved the photos from that reaper post lol
Its bot gone just reorganised to be with the other OW posts
If he comes back I will be happy but if he quits I understand it’s his life not ours may he be happy and successful in all of his endeavours.
I don’t know what happened to the Reaper post, Shad, but I came here to say that you did it. You finally fucking did it.
You turned me gay. It’s a weird feeling, but I just did some gay shit, and I liked it.
Fuck.
But congratulations on achieving this.
Waitaminute, hold the motherfucking phone… “going to the store to get cigarettes?”
Fuck. Not like this!
Shad, this is not cool! Please, don’t leave like this!
Shit he got you
Waitaminute, hold the mofucking phone… “going to the store to get cigarettes?”
No, Shad! Not like this! Not cool! Don’t leave!
Dammit, I thought my other comment didn’t get through, so I posted it again. Oh, well. I guess it just emphasizes how upset I am!
Feels mortified man
:(
So a horse fucking an overwatch character made you gay?.. um.. congrats on that?.. hope you feel proud :/
No, it wasn’t that. It was some of his other stuff. The trap stuff he was doing. I’ve also been opening myself up to my sexuality. Trying not to be so insecure. I’m not purely gay. I’d say I’m bisexual. Bur I think you get my point. This just happened to coincide with his Reaper post (which I actually didn’t like much).
I hope that makes sense.
Im a guy on kik really horny : nigga4life4
This is the time in your life when you realise you haven’t seen everything.
Shad please I beg of you finish oraline or maybe since October is almost here finish the catalogue of the 13 spooky babes since you left off on 7, please shad I’m beggin here man we need some refreshing content I dont want to see you fade out I been a fan since 2014
“Oraline.” XD
I don’t get it
Y’ALL are ignorant it ain’t ur art if someone disrespected ur own project and literally burned it in fire and putting it out with their piss y’all be the same way…fuck the haters shad do what ya want and appreciate those who love ur work
what happened exactly im really confused
Demon cakes
He didn’t fucking delete the posts guys its on archive
to go on a walk tonight