I just threw up in public, the mask did nothing, all it did was make it more difficult to throw up. I must have looked pretty stupid.
— Shädman💀 (@Shadbase) June 20, 2020
I forgot to upload this one, it only took a few hours to draw and I made it last weekend.
Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then.
I miss you, shad, the content you made was amazing to me :(
I need a fem who’s ready to show that boy puss @kik foxx_beta
I need a fem who’s ready to show me that boy puss mlm add me @ Kik foxx_beta
would love to but u sound a bit needy
Love it how I try to post something on here and it doesn’t stay up and yet people post a-lot of garbage and that get’s left up and then I notice that the name I used is being used by someone else seems that I must’ve struck a nerve in one of the website monitors…
Bro where you at i need to jerk off to some quality
I like it!
Day 40 and all those people so quick to start bitching despite there being doezens of other porn site will be like “please at least give us one of the crappy comics” 😂😂😂
WARNING – “Alisse” IS A RUSSIAN SCAMMER WHO
WANTS TO STEAL YOUR FINANCIAL INFORMATION
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY CHATZ.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, chatz.pw may not be safe
Facts about chatz.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 74% / Netherlands: 26%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. LEAVE SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
guy if you’re gonna abandon us delete the site lmao
THEN NOBODY COULD ACCESS EIGHT YEARS OF ARCHIVES, STUPID FUCK
Lol
Dumb nagger
This nigga dead’d. I mean, bodied. He ain’t gon’ doodle us titillating drawn porn no more.
No more, no more, no more!
damn, a month ago half of you were bitching about his art sucking (despite there being dozens of other free porn sites) and the other half were defending his artwork. Now half of you are calling him dad and the other half are ready to read a eulogy 😂
And and of course the russian hackers scamy gullible suckers and secret narks catfishing horny pervs and creepy pedos but they’ll alway be here…like they herpes of this fan base🤣
Just like my dad he just go without saying anything …
Yeah, but this time it IS our fault :)
It eases the pressure, knowing
At the start I entered here hopefull that he will show now is just insanity, always passing here thinking thath something will change but now thath won’t
Is funny…
Day 1: Pure garbage shad, your draws are shit
Day 2: What is this shit?! Kill youself shad
Day 14: Shad is death or what?
Day 20: Nothing yet…
Day 30: We miss you shad…
Day 40 and all those people so quick to start bitching despite there being doezens of other porn site will be like “please at least give us one of the crappy comics” 😂😂😂
This is it, he’s not coming back… and that’s okay. He had a solid run of it but as all things have in common, they end. You, myself, this page, the entire world, our galaxy. Time as we know it shall cease along with everything we know and hold dear. Our joys, fears, paranoias, take this moment to read this and fulfill your story make something out of life before it makes someone for you.
Calm down Nostradamus, it’s just porn
lmaoooo
Yea but to many of the fans it is a literal end of an era!
yeah man calm down
Guts
by Chuck Palahniuk
Inhale.
Take in as much air as you can. This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So listen as fast as you can.
A friend of mine, when he was 13 years old he heard about “pegging.” This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend’s a little sex maniac. He’s always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it’s going to look at the supermarket checkout counter, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.
So my friend, he buys milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for a carrot cake. And Vaseline.
Like he’s going home to stick a carrot cake up his butt.
At home, he whittles the carrot into a blunt tool. He slathers it with grease and grinds his ass down on it. Then, nothing. No orgasm. Nothing happens except it hurts.
Then, this kid, his mom yells it’s supper time. She says to come down, right now.
He works the carrot out and stashes the slippery, filthy thing in the dirty clothes under his bed.
After dinner, he goes to find the carrot, and it’s gone. All his dirty clothes, while he ate dinner, his mom grabbed them all to do laundry. No way could she not find the carrot, carefully shaped with a paring knife from her kitchen, still shiny with lube and stinky.
This friend of mine, he waits months under a black cloud, waiting for his folks to confront him. And they nev¬er do. Ever. Even now that he’s grown up, that invisible carrot hangs over every Christmas dinner, every birthday party. Every Easter egg hunt with his kids, his parents’ grandkids, that ghost carrot is hovering over all of them. That something too awful to name.
People in France have a phrase: “staircase wit.” In French: esprit de l’escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it’s too late. Say you’re at a par¬ty and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party….
As you start down the stairway, then-magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should’ve said. The perfect crippling put-down.
That’s the spirit of the stairway.
The trouble is, even the French don’t have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.
Some deeds are too low to even get a name. Too low to even get talked about.
Looking back, kid-psych experts, school counselors now say that most of the last peak in teen suicide was kids trying to choke while they beat off. Their folks would find them, a towel twisted around their kid’s neck, the towel tied to the rod in their bedroom closet, the kid dead. Dead sperm every¬where. Of course the folks cleaned up. They put some pants on their kid. They made it look … better. Intentional at least. The regular kind of sad teen suicide.
Another friend of mine, a kid from school, his older brother in the Navy said how guys in the Middle East jack off different than we do here. This brother was stationed in some camel country where the public market sells what could be fancy letter openers. Each fancy tool is just a thin rod of pol¬ished brass or silver, maybe as long as your hand, with a big tip at one end, ei¬ther a big metal ball or the kind of fan¬cy carved handle you’d see on a sword. This Navy brother says how Arab guys get their dick hard and then insert this metal rod inside the whole length of their boner. They jack off with the rod inside, and it makes getting off so much better. More intense.
It’s this big brother who travels around the world, sending back French phrases. Russian phrases. Helpful jack-off tips.
After this, the little brother, one day he doesn’t show up at school. That night, he calls to ask if I’ll pick up his homework for the next couple weeks. Because he’s in the hospital.
He’s got to share a room with old people getting their guts worked on. He says how they all have to share the same television. All he’s got for privacy is a curtain. His folks don’t come and visit. On the phone, he says how right now his folks could just kill his big brother in the Navy.
On the phone, the kid says how-the day before-he was just a little stoned. At home in his bedroom, he was flopped on the bed. He was lighting a candle and flipping through some old porno magazines, getting ready to beat off. This is after he’s heard from his Navy brother. That helpful hint about how Arabs beat off. The kid looks around for something that might do the job. A ballpoint pen’s too big. A pencil’s too big and rough. But dripped down the side of the candle, there’s a thin, smooth ridge of wax that just might work. With just the tip of one finger, this kid snaps the long ridge of wax off the candle. He rolls it smooth between the palms of his hands. Long and smooth and thin.
Stoned and horny, he slips it down inside, deeper and deeper into the piss slit of his boner. With a good hank of the wax still poking out the top, he gets to work.
Even now, he says those Arab guys are pretty damn smart. They’ve totally reinvented jacking off. Flat on his back in bed, things are getting so good, this kid can’t keep track of the wax. He’s one good squeeze from shooting his wad when the wax isn’t sticking out anymore.
The thin wax rod, it’s slipped inside. All the way inside. So deep inside he can’t even feel the lump of it inside his piss tube.
From downstairs, his mom shouts it’s supper time. She says to come down, right now. This wax kid and the carrot kid are different people, but we all live pretty much the same life.
It’s after dinner when the kid’s guts start to hurt. It’s wax, so he figured it would just melt inside him and he’d pee it out. Now his back hurts. His kid¬neys. He can’t stand straight.
This kid talking on the phone from his hospital bed, in the background you can hear bells ding, people scream¬ing. Game shows.
The X-rays show the truth, some¬thing long and thin, bent double inside his bladder. This long, thin V inside him, it’s collecting all the minerals in his piss. It’s getting bigger and rougher, coated with crystals of calci¬um, it’s bumping around, ripping up the soft lining of his bladder, blocking his piss from getting out. His kidneys are backed up. What little that leaks out his dick is red with blood.
This kid and his folks, his whole fam¬ily, them looking at the black X-ray with the doctor and the nurses stand¬ing there, the big V of wax glowing white for everybody to see, he has to tell the truth. The way Arabs get off. What his big brother wrote him from the Navy.
On the phone, right now, he starts to cry.
They paid for the bladder operation with his college fund. One stupid mis¬take, and now he’ll never be a lawyer.
Sticking stuff inside yourself. Stick¬ing yourself inside stuff. A candle in your dick or your head in a noose, we knew it was going to be big trouble.
What got me in trouble, I called it Pearl Diving. This meant whacking off underwater, sitting on the bottom at the deep end of my parents’ swimming pool. With one deep breath, I’d kick my way to the bottom and slip off my swim trucks. I’d sit down there for two, three, four minutes.
Just from jacking oft’ I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I’d do this all afternoon. After I’d finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.
After that was more diving, to catch it all. To collect it and wipe each hand¬ful in a towel. That’s why it was called Pearl Diving. Even with chlorine, there was my sister to worry about. Or, Christ almighty, my mom.
That used to be my worst fear in the world: my teenage virgin sister, think¬ing she’s just getting fat, then giving birth to a two-headed, retard baby. Both heads looking just like me. Me, the father and the uncle. In the end, it’s never what you worry about that gets you.
The best part of Pearl Diving was the inlet port for the swimming pool filter and the circulation pump. The best part was getting naked and sit¬ting on it.
As the French would say, Who doesn’t like getting their butt sucked? Still, one minute you’re just a kid getting off, and the next minute you’ll never be a lawyer.
One minute I’m settling on the pool bottom and the sky is wavy, light blue through eight feet of water above my head. The world is silent except for the heartbeat in my ears. My yellow¬striped swim trunks are looped around my neck for safe keeping, just in case a friend, a neighbor, anybody shows up to ask why I skipped foot¬ball practice. The steady suck of the pool inlet hole is lapping at me and I’m grinding my skinny white ass around on that feeling.
One minute I’ve got enough air and my dick’s in my hand. My folks are gone at their work and my sister’s got ballet. Nobody’s supposed to be home for hours.
My hand brings me right to getting off, and I stop. I swim up to catch an¬other big breath. I dive down and settle on the bottom.
I do this again and again.
This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bot¬tom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.
And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls. It’s then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can’t. I can’t get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.
Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you’re going to drown. Every year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.
People just don’t talk about it. Not even French people talk about everything. Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Get¬ting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I’m kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.
Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I’m maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat in¬side my head getting loud and fast.
The bright sparks of light crossing and crisscrossing my eyes, I turn and look back … but it doesn’t make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue¬white and braided with veins, has come up out of the pool drain and it’s holding on to my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake’s thin, blue¬white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.
That’s the only way this makes sense. Some horrible sea monster, a sea serpent, something that’s never seen the light of day, it’s been hiding in the dark bottom of the pool drain, waiting to eat me.
So …I kick at it, at the slippery, rub¬bery knotted skin and veins of it, and more of it seems to pull out of the pool drain. It’s maybe as long as my leg now, but still holding tight around my butt¬hole. With another kick, I’m an inch closer to getting another breath. Still feeling the snake tug at my ass, I’m an inch closer to my escape.
Knotted inside the snake, you can see corn and peanuts. You can see a long bright-orange ball. It’s the kind of horse¬pill vitamin my dad makes me take, to help put on weight. To get a football scholarship. With extra iron and omega¬three fatty acids.
It’s seeing that vitamin pill that saves my life.
It’s not a snake. It’s my large intestine, my colon pulled out of me. What doctors call prolapsed. It’s my guts sucked into the drain.
Paramedics will tell you a swimming pool pump pulls 80 gallons of water every minute. That’s about 400 pounds of pressure. The big problem is we’re all connected together inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth. If I let go, the pump keeps working-unravel¬ing my insides-until it’s got my tongue. Imagine taking a 400-pound shit and you can see how this might turn you inside out.
What I can tell you is your guts don’t feel much pain. Not the way your skin feels pain. The stuff you’re digesting, doctors call it fecal matter. Higher up is chyme, pockets of a thin, runny mess studded with corn and peanuts and round green peas.
That’s all this soup of blood and corn, shit and sperm and peanuts floating around me. Even with my guts unravel¬ing out my ass, me holding on to what’s left, even then my first want is to some¬how get my swimsuit back on.
God forbid my folks see my dick.
My one hand holding a fist around my ass, my other hand snags my yellow¬striped swim trunks and pulls them from around my neck. Still, getting into them is impossible.
You want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of those lambskin condoms. Take one out and unroll it. Pack it with peanut butter. Smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it under water. Then try to tear it. Try to pull it in half. It’s too tough and rubbery. It’s so slimy you can’t hold on.
A lambskin condom, that’s just plain old intestine.
You can see what I’m up against.
You let go for a second and you’re gutted.
You swim for the surface, for a breath, and you’re gutted.
You don’t swim and you drown.
It’s a choice between being dead right now or a minute from right now.
What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital 13 years ago. Here’s the kid they hoped would snag a football schol¬arship and get an MBA. Who’d care for them in their old age. Here’s all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.
Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen tele¬phone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow¬striped swim trunks.
What even the French won’t talk about.
That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say, “I need that like I need a hole in my head…,” Russian people say, “I need that like I need teeth in my asshole……
Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse.
Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.
Hell … even if you’re Russian, someday you just might want those teeth.
Otherwise, what you have to do is¬you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.
It’s not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. Not if you expect a kiss good night. If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari.
It’s hard to say what my parents were more disgusted by: how I’d got in trou¬ble or how I’d saved myself. After the hospital, my mom said, “You didn’t know what you were doing, honey. You were in shock.” And she learned how to cook poached eggs.
All those people grossed out or feeling sorry for me….
I need that like I need teeth in my asshole.
Nowadays, people always tell me I look too skinny. People at dinner parties get all quiet and pissed off when I don’t eat the pot roast they cooked. Pot roast kills me. Baked ham. Anything that hangs around inside my guts for longer than a couple of hours, it comes out still food. Home-cooked lima beans or chunk light tuna fish, I’ll stand up and find it still sitting there in the toilet.
After you have a radical bowel resec¬tioning, you don’t digest meat so great. Most people, you have five feet of large intestine. I’m lucky to have my six inch¬es. So I never got a football scholarship. Never got an MBA. Both my friends, the wax kid and the carrot kid, they grew up, got big, but I’ve never weighed a pound more than I did that day when I was 13.
Another big problem was my folks paid a lot of good money for that swim¬ming pool. In the end my dad just told the pool guy it was a dog. The family dog fell in and drowned. The dead body got pulled into the pump. Even when the pool guy cracked open the filter casing and fished out a rubbery tube, a watery hank of intestine with a big orange vita¬min pill still inside, even then my dad just said, “That dog was fucking nuts.”
Even from my upstairs bedroom window, you could hear my dad say, “We couldn’t trust that dog alone for a second….”
Then my sister missed her period.
Even after they changed the pool water, after they sold the house and we moved to another state, after my sister’s abortion, even then my folks never men¬tioned it again.
Ever.
That is our invisible carrot.
You. Now you can take a good, deep breath.
I still have not.
Holy shit im so so so sorry for you
Read the first two lines, dumbass. It’s a fiction story.
The same guy who wrote “Fight Club” and “Choke” — crazy, twisted genius
Kik me kkimvu 🍑
Yeah it’s been a while and the last thing he said was about him throwing up shad’s dead, F’s in the chat for shad
Leaves from the vine,
Falling so slow.
Like fragile, tiny shells
Drifting in the foam.
Little soldier boy
Come marching home.
Brave soldier boy
Comes marching home.
These leaves did fall
From branches overgrown.
Drifting slowly down.
Resting all alone.
Little soldier boy
Taken from a home.
Forced to fight a war
That is not his own.
Leaves from the vine,
Falling so slow.
Like fragile, tiny shells
Drifting in the foam.
Little soldier boy
Come marching home.
Brave soldier boy
Comes marching home.
Leaves fell that night
When everything was silent.
No one dared to make a noise.
The little soldier boy
Found his way back home.
His mother wrapped her arms
Around his corpse.
Leaves from the vine,
Falling so slow.
Like fragile, tiny shells
Drifting in the foam.
Little soldier boy
Come marching home.
Brave soldier boy
Come marching home.
Shad please,eat my ass, I’m begging
Looking for a femboy hmu at kik: foxx_beta
Looking for a femboy hmu on kik @foxx_beta 😚😚😚
F in chat please
Full month without anything. Hope you release the next belle x neekolul part already you fucking cunt, not some shit pinnup art or some garbage comic like this one.
people say he’s dead.
Nah check his Twitter
pls
Oh god he actually might be dead guys
BRO WTF U’RE DEAD???????????
First Sam O’ Nella, now Shadman.
not my sammy
First was Dtiberius my dude
):
Nigga release the next belle x neekolul part already
When he will delete his site?
I wonder with Shad doing work I assume is legit, if a company somewhere will post a piece of art all of a sudden and everyone will recognize Shads style despite him not being named as its artist and begin to respond will pics of loli Clinton, lesbian Incredibles, or futa Starfire. Would be funny ngl
I mean Filthy Frank went from being the icon of edginess to the mainstream as Joji with little issue, so it wouldn’t be a first for a creator to make the transition. Also a ton of classic comic book artists used to draw a ton of porn before they made the switch.
There’s a big difference between some artist that used to draw boobs or some nude pinups and an artist that has drawn explicitly detailed underage/incest/bestiality/futa facefucking. If Shad’s identity ever gets revealed working for a “legit” company they’ll drop him faster than a hot potato in this day and age.
Comment trolling is literally better than viewing the porn.
Amen
Kind of like using the word “literally” when it’s asinine, incorrect or just doesn’t make any sense.
I don’t know man, I know I literally enjoy trolling these comments more than the archives.
Bro wtf
Hey good for you and good luck, good to get away from some of these toxic comments
Princess Anidala
Can’t any of you homos read the description?
“Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then.”
He’s working on something that’s (probably) not porn for something he’s more interessed than his site. It’s just been 1 month chill out people
Ikr
Its not just 1 month. Its 1 WHOLE MONTH without any news from shad
Gotta make trollol while site dead!
Should we stop checking? I’m so confused.
When checking, it is imperative to use the pads of your fingers and knead the entire breast in a circular motion from the outside to the center of the breast. Any signs of a lump, knot, or general thickening should be checked by a doctor.
It has been a month. 4 weeks. 30 days. 730 hours. 43800 minutes. 2628000 seconds. Please post something.
Fuck you asshole, banned from your server for no fucking reason
Lol get fucked retard
Shad is just in his local kmart sniffing women underwears and bras calm down he’s fine, he does this every few months. probably just dealing with da law or something idk
Boys And Girls this is the gravestone of a great man who will be in all of our search histories and in our incognito tabs and by God, he was a man that drew what he wanted and when he wanted and it was a worthwhile trip that lead us through a good path we wish him well but, seriously hope you come back shad miss your good wank material
Hey uhh guys im horny send nudes plz my Kik is sendnudzplsss
You okay dude? Wish you’d let us know if you were okay
damn. Shad really went out to buy some milk for his followers.
Any webtoon readers?
You all are insane
Bro like please it’s not NNN yet comon
It has officially been one month
Shad I miss u bby please come back home
Shadman, are you ok? You’ve been quiet for a whole month now.
Add me on kik: mysticgroove looking for femboys or women to have some fun with ;)
Man.
Dude I’m fucking horny, draw something for the love of god
Can you fucking draw something you geriatric useless piece of shit? I know you’re there, jacking off and playing video games.
Hey u cucklord if u weren’t illiterate u would know he ain’t drawing anymore u degenerate
why do you think he needs to listen to you?
Bruh moment right here
My ig Joey_213
I’m a little confused about JLullaby, what happened to him, can someone explain me, please?
He went to college and quit drawing porn.
His patreon was taken down and that was the end of him drawing from what I understand.
Este cabron ya murió
sammof69 text me on ig bull_bull6
“Mom… when’s daddy shad coming home?”
“I don’t know sweetheart *takes a swig of vodka* he’s probably looking for a new job“
how are you on the 30th????
1 MONTH WITHOUT A POST WHOOOOOOOO
thank the fucking lord
debate me on faith, i am a child of god
You fucks are hilarious
“Slam Shady” – c’mon man, it’s right there.
vuelve shadman :(
Shadman has work outside of shadbase this is uncool
See you, space Shadboy
Adieu.
Imagine if this was his last postits itd be a shit sendoff
Rip shad, we gona miss u.
0000-2020
Pls come back daddy Shaddy
U guys wanna join my minecraft server?
yeah go on
Tomorrow will be a whole month without anything
Seeking hung Dom daddy types to force feminize me
909677947 Hurry I’m leaking in excitement ,UwU,
Hey is this your phone number and if so I’ll feminizes that ass and cum in you;p
i too, like this fuckwit cunt fart, want to feminizes that ass bay-bee. oh yes.
That’s it shadbase is finished it’s been a fun ride guys :”/
shut up bitchies, he’s dead already
Shad what happened where did u go if it is cause people are talking shit don’t listen that has happened my whole life ur an amazing artist so do what u love to do and draw
How did NO ONE Notice that the site DID receive some changes very recently?
You horny spazzes really need to look deeper into this website…
what changes
Things are gone and not content
So I guess papa Shad went to get some cigs?
He went to buy us some milk.
I have supported you financially before and I just feel as though all of your supporters have been forgotten. I know there is some straight GARBAGE in these comments but there are loyal fans that just wish you would come back.
Glad to see supporters still here, been watching this dude for so many years.
Wish i could contribute without this fucking economy going to hell.
Same, used to give him 30 a month on Patreon. Imagine having a dream job, chilling at home and building up a fan base for years just to flush it down the toilet.
Shad doesn’t need any of you.
Can I get more trap/boy stuff? I’m really into sissies.
so you’re gay?
It’s not gay if your not looking for the dick
Who TF cares if he’s gay. All sex is great.
Has shad ever made a comic that’s remotely funny?
lol no.
ÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎ
Yes! now shad’s works in telegram: @shadcollection
ShadColletion in Telegram! all Shad’s posts
@ShadCollection – Telegram
All Shad’s arts
Hey, to celebrate your return, you should kick it off with more Raven & Starfire
you mongrel he made this a month ago
Mf better come back with some groundbreaking shit
Pepega Clap WR
yeehaw
I guess he comes back in 2021. Where is this fag ?
probably living his life, you should try it some time
Imagine telling someone to live their life on a porn website. What a retard
Yeah, living his life in the middle of a pandemic and turmoil in the US, the absolute perfect time to just take a break and look at yourself.
Cmon shad it’s been almost a month weren’t you talking
Bout more regular uploads a while ago?
We had something like this happen in my town…. Well I mean the dude was told to wear a mask so he proceeded to punch out the store worker then got into his car drove into a bunch of peoples cars and tried to run people down he then drove home where the police had followed to… In the end he went out in a hail of bullets when firing at the cops…. Yup they don’t tell you to wear masks anymore in my town… Hillbillies am I right?
Can y’all imagine after all of this wait and Shad just comes back with another dumbass Belle Delphine pinup?
I know shad irl he is fine
i know shad irl too, and he isn’t saying shit after the surgical accident.
I know shad irl turns out he’s not actually a he, she’s a female frog that is into lewd shit
I know shad irl he died of butt aids from a trap since he’s gay
rpguids.enjin.com excellent minecraft roleplay, tsukia sent you : )
Definitely dead by now
For the glory of 3000 comments – onward!
fag died lol
You Should totally find out how to be more consistent Shad.
You should totally finish Raven and Starfire
Yes please
Fuck yes the raven/starfire shit needs to continue. Especially with heavy duty bondage involved.
It’s been a pleasure boys and dishwashers, shad finally kicked the bucket. We all knew he was terminally ill it was a long time coming. He died as he lived, as a noble piece of beautiful shit. Let’s all honor him by jacking it one last time on his grave.
Rip shadman 0000-2020
Wait whaaaat?!
Ok yeah this is a joke and everything but that date better fuckin not be real cus if he was 20 and hes been making thay art this long what the fuck
Dude are you retarded? From 0000 to 2000 it’s 2000 years not 20, go back to middle school
he came out the womb with a mask and a pen 😂
Maybe when we hit 3000 comments he will come back
Looking to trade nudes with girls
You were good son really good, maybe even the best.
Hey, I’m Stephen. I’m looking for any fun-loving traps, femboys, sissies, boys, girls that want to have a fun chat or are looking for a good time!
Message me on kik: TheStefen
While we are waiting go through the 1.3k or something photos and just see if they’re porn
Same xd
Same xd
Same xd
The king will return soon
Damn shad should of thought of his kids before doing what he did, are hormones need to be tended to shad
I miss dad
Shad died everyone go home
The darl ages 2: Shad bogaloo
Mock.
Aparently he might be going to jail for soliciting a minor or something. At least, that what the shadman official acount says if yiu scroll down far enough
DEADBASE
Shad where are you?
Aparently he might be going to jail for soliciting a minor or something. At least, that what the shadman official acount says if yiu scroll down far enough
Bruh shadman dead
Let’s just hope he’s okay and working on something big like a comic.
well I’m a very casual Shadman fan, I visit the site once a day or so, and this has me pretty bummed out. I like new Shad material. I hope he gets through whatever he’s going through and gets back to drawing the good smutty art that we love
3k
Well hope shad is doing OK wherever he’s at right now lol
You suck
ALMOST 2,500 COMMENTS BOYS!!
Rest in peace shadman
DETROIT BECOME HUMAN please <3
I’m sorry mate.
i don’t think hes coming back.
How long does it take to e unbanned from the shadbase discord or am i prema banned (i was the person (TheMilkMan) who posted the chicken getting shot in the memes chat
where is shadman
Sissy fag with a micropenis looking for sum degradation and humiliation. Kik me @sissyamina
I NEED TOO CUM
Never come back shad, but if you do hope you bring something good cause i need to bust a nut.
Y’all need to kill yourselves, world would be a better place without any of you fucks, shad prolly did the same because of all of you ungrateful fucks
Edgelord
bad day?
Poof
Comment 2454
can we make it to 3000?
Can y’all Shad simps fuck off
Bruh u simpin here too tho or else u wouldn’t be here
The meaning of “Simp” has been entirely lost, and you’re proof of that, @Anonymous July 28, 2020 at 19:55.
This is why we need education reform.
sadly neither party cares
Shad not posting makes me want L to be fake.
I miss my Shad Dad 🥺
Honestly the Shadman community is super toxic and wants him to draw even more degenerate shit. I’m happy he’s moving on elsewhere. Godspeed.
That’s what made him popular
come back shad
I miss the Starfire and Raven stuff…
Me too man. It was the best shit he drew in years, but he killed it off when it was getting great. Talk about fucking waste..
We can only hope he decides to finish it one day…
I hope for ShadMan’s sake he goes and pursues art ventures elsewhere. Starts fresh. There is so much disgusting hate from people who come here just to complain like, just leave already. God I miss the old days when only people who valued his art and his humor were present on this site and we could actually have some peace here.
This comment section is so retarded you got neo-nazis scat enthusiasts and straight up edgelords i never really payed much atttention to the comment section but for the nazis this dude draws futas and fucking fudes in skirts your tbe shit you want to genocide to the scatters pls stol fucking righting fanfics and to tbe big boy pants edge-lords this isnt the class of 2005 anymore retardeds chill the fuck out
Finally someone who fucking agrees
I’m surprised King Monkey Mon hasn’t landed on you with both feet for lecturing the toxic twerps who infest these comments. Whenever I chide the haters and crybabies, he immediately starts flaming me for “perpetuating” the toxic environment.
Hmmm… I just realized that he must be in love with me. *That’s* why he engages. Poor baby boy…
Guilty!!! Yes, its true Dumbfuck Stepmother!!! I live to sniff your farts!!!
PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE PISS AND SHIT IN MY MOUTH!!! IM HUNGRY!!!
P.S. I love the Nazi Scat story below!!! It makes my little wee-wee hard!!!
Just remember i was the first toxic person on here you have to have dick girls profile pictures and never having it be of Shadmans art style
You also have to always attack people with a different opinion constantly while spamming the comment section with bots to prove how good your life is and attack everyone in this comment section to be loved
how did u steal dumfucks avatar?
Hey dumfuck can you stop impersonating king monkey mon to make shitty jokes and insult him? You’re just as much of a piece of shit as he is.
Agreed lol they’re both fucking losers who need to get a life
I hope you are fine shad man :’)
you should do Jane Romero form Dead by Daylight, he ass is Phat
come back dad
Same
Its like waiting for my dad to back with the milk
Now GO! Let the legend come back to life!
WTF is goin’ on?!
F***ING UPDATE ALREADY
Fuck off you stupid prick
You were good son, real good. Maybe even the best.
28 days now he better come back with a goddamn magnum opus
All right wingers and conservatives should be culled.
I love the taste of your tears :)
I mean – have you been following the news? They’re way ahead of you bud.
ask your girlfriend how taste are my sperm
Nice grammar
Culling is used to exterminate inferior stock, so we should start with ~70 average IQ Negroids and various other Third World animals.
Fuckin agreed! We should shoot all right-wingers
Kik me @FrozenParticle if you wanna eat out some boy booty
2020 is end of humans confirmed
Hey guys its me Shad, unfortunately I have been arrested for soliciting pictures from minors and am going to court soon for my hearing. You may not hear from me for a while. Love you guys and keep on fetishizing lolis and girls with dicks!
.
Oh shit – it’s the REAL Shadman over here! But who draw the haha picture?
Epic
BREAKING: Online penis artist Shadius Richard Johnson, Commonly known as “Shadman” found dead due to Corona Virus. The scene of the death implys that Shadius died surronded by porn of definitely legal girls and pictures of restaurant mascots. His neighbors, now finally glad to get some sleep, said “It was how he wished to go out.” More at 11.
4 weeks to the day… I’ve seen everything the archives have to offer 8 times over now. My dick no longer responds to old comics and pinups.
“Something fresh. Something new.” It cries…
There is no fresh. There is no new. Only masks now. Only masks…
Please stop being dead
Must have got a real job
“Post something every now and then” CAPP
More than a month withouth shad. This are dark times we live in
F.
Press F to pay respects
Rest in peace shad
love you shad
Been gone for a while lad, you still alive?
He didn’t post anything in a long time.Is he alright?
I come to read the comments whenever I’m bored and just realized how sad that is tbh
Time to turn you into a meme.
If the last thing shad posts isn’t nsfw I’d cry. Hope he’s good and comes back to post soon
maybe he finally got arrested lol
Perhaps shad just decided he did not want to do hentai anymore? I mean the guys got skills he could easily do real paintings and stuff.
that’s a good joke, his art has been shit for years.
How much art have you made that wasn’t just stick people, you absolute fucking faluire?
How much art have you made that wasn’t just stick people, you absolute fucking failure?
Stop wanking to it then
I wouldn’t say it’s been shit for years, but it’s definitely degraded in quality as of late. And as a retroactive reply to people who are gonna say ‘How much art have you made that wasn’t just stick people’, look me up on deviantart. I’m not all too good yet but I’m getting better
Agreed. It’s definitely degraded in quality as of late.
FAZ SOL
caralho br até aq
União Flasco
bro.
Need more fap materiallll you better not be dead Shadmannn
Shad is dead *crab*
let’s get over 9000
if he posted 8 days a week you’d still not be satisfied lmao
If he posted 8 days a week it wouldn’t be a fucking week would it
thats the whole fucking point numnuts.
0.00003
Shadmans gotta girlfriend, now.
He made my jerk offs epic…I missed him😔
It’s official. He’s gone
I’m glad this sexist nazi doesn’t draw poor lolis getting stretched by massive cocks. Who in their right mind would do ass-eating poor lolis.
Get a load of this guy
“oh those poor lolis and their tight assholes getting stretched out by massive slabs of dick meat, oh no what a gruesome fate”
Jew
The don’t come here
For all you fucking morons
too stupid to read and comprehend, Shad already said he’s doing something else:
“Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase…”
If you’re so retarded to understand that, it means: “I’m out of here for now. Don’t wait up for me.”
lol
I’m sorry that I don’t follow him on every social media account or if he posted something here then I already read it
Also sorry for being “retarded” in your words
It’s literally at the bottom of this drawing….
Hopefully the Shadman is okay
RIP shadbase
I mean I knew this site was kind of an underbelly community but there’s an alarming amount of nazi stuff in this comment section
And when we needed him most….he vanished
poof
A Nazi Love Story already in progress
I groaned to awareness as I woke to first feel, then see, Eva sloppily sucking my cock with her pale, pink lips. My penis had been filthy from fucking and cumming in her shitty ass the night before, but that didn’t stop the woman from taking me in her mouth and cleaning her stale mess off my dick. Her hair was tangled and matted, hanging down over my naked thighs as she blew me.
She hummed around my cock, seeing me wake and smiling with my smelly shaft between her lips. She drooled, brown-tinged saliva running down my brown-streaked length. Up and down she bobbed, my flesh becoming clear, the mess being sucked into her mouth. My cock throbbed, the musty smell of the previous night’s anal sex hitting my nose.
Eva slurped my dick, cleaning it and slobbering, my throbbing flesh expanding in her mouth. She stroked my shaft with her hand as she slid her lips up and down my length, and a strong rush of tension built up in my groin and pushed through my cock. I exploded in the reddish-blonde’s mouth, spewing my seed into her throat. Eva sucked noisily, her suction drawing my load out of my dick. My penis throbbed as I shuddered against her lips, cum filling her mouth as I grunted loudly. A last ejaculation fired the remains of my cum into her throat and she swallowed once, twice, and finished with a messy grin.
“So… I’m really ashamed to admit this, but… I don’t recall your name…” Eva giggled and blushed a bit, my cum slipping down from a corner of her wet mouth. We really hadn’t even talked the night before, tripping on X and high on lust. I considered the that the woman had tasted her shit on my dick and taken my load in all three holes without knowing my name.
I laughed. “Adolph. My name’s Adolph. Hitler And I know yours, Eva Braun. You used to date an asshole I knew a few months ago.”
Her smile broke. “Heinrich. Yeah, that asshole fucked over more than just me. Plus he’s fucking nuts.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to go there.”
She smiled tightly. “No, no problem. Hey, I really need to take a piss… wanna watch?”
“I wanna drink it! Hey, stream is not too far, I’ve shit myself there many times. Let’s head there.”
Eva jumped down from the truck bed and I yanked up my pants and did the same. She still wore her lederhosen and dirndel from the night before, and I could easily smell the stale aroma of ass and sweat and cum. It took some measure of restraint not to mount her again right there.
We passed several other vehicles parked, owners and their lovers often sleeping within. Eva had woken me early, and we had the stream to ourselves for a moment. She shed her clothes and I did as well. “Ready?” she prompted me. “Watch!”
Eva bent over, pushing her welcoming ass and thick bush in my direction. Instinctively, I moved behind her, far enough to have a great wide view of her crotch, close enough to get splashed by her urine. Streaks of dry-looking brown and brownish-white were between her hairy ass cheeks, hairs around her anus and vagina matted and dark. She spread her labia with her fingers and pushed back toward me.
Warm piss sprayed out of her urethra, spitting out of her body and streaming through her pubes. The spray hit my stomach and ran down, over my cock and balls. I smelled raw ass and bitter urine strongly, my dick rising and pointing between Eva’s legs as she peed on me. She moaned with relief as she urinated, the flow broken into thinner streams by the dense hairs covering her opening despite her spread labia. Piss dripped down Eva’s crotch as she finished peeing on me and her flow reduced to a trickle.
I felt my own bladder clench and was ready to piss on her. My urine-soaked crotch was wet and warm as I brought the tip of my semi-erect cock within a few inches of her crotch. As I began to release, Eva shifted back, pressing her anus against my dick. A spritz of piss shot out of my penis and splashed against her brown-stained dark-pink asshole. My flow locked as the sensation of hot anus made it hard to piss through my growing hardon.
Eva looked back quickly. “Hold on!” She nested the tip of my penis inside her dark ring. “I’ve always wanted to try something… I think you’ll like it.” I understood what she wanted and if I hadn’t been so full of piss, I might have ejaculated on the spot. I pushed my mostly-erect cock into her ass, pushing forward as piss tried to rush out the tip. I sank deep and rested against her butt. Eva panted and grunted with my penetration.
Inside her bowels, my penis grew hard and I felt my flow stop before it spilled out into her guts. I tried to push out my urine but found Eva’s tight anus was restricting my ability to piss. I thrust in and out slowly, trying to milk the urine out of my cock. “Hmm… I don’t know if I can… Your asshole is incredibly tight…”
She laughed and grunted. “I’ll try to relax my butthole. Try to relax your cock. Maybe if we hold really still, you can do it.”
I did my best to hold still as my dick throbbed in her bowels. Her anus dilated slightly, very slightly, but it helped. The blood in my dick very slowly backed down and a moment of freezing in position had my piss starting to rise again. I squirted the first bit, just a quick jet of urine firing into her guts. I had to consciously squeeze against the pressure, sending a second and third jet into Eva’s ass. She mewled. “Oh, fuck, that is so warm. Keep pissing in me… fuck, keep pissing in my asshole.”
I squeezed out another spurt of urine, felt the warm, wet fluid collecting around the head of my penis. The tip of my dick was overly sensitive, pressed against Eva’s hot insides, and it was a battle to squirt piss once more. Then I slid to the right angle, giving my penis just enough room to start a stream. I pushed and piss flowed out, still restricted, a tight flow, but steady. I quickly flooded her rectum and the woman moaned louder as I filled her bowels with my hot urine. On and on I peed in her ass, drops beginning to trickle out around my penetration and catching in the dark hairs around her anus.
My flow was strong for almost a minute, and I could tell Eva was growing uncomfortable as her anus clenched and my penis was forced halfway out. A squirt of piss shot out around my cock and fired against my crotch. She moaned as I continued to unload my bladder inside her butt.
I had to squeeze out the end of my load of piss, my cock drowning in the urine in her bowels. Eva’s guts were full. Her tight, dirty anus squeezed me and I felt her bowels move against the penetration. I backed out to just my dickhead, barely stopping her from spewing the contents.
I slid out quickly and backed off. Eva’s hold on her guts was better than I thought as she quickly clenched her anus and lost just few drops of urine. She laughed and squirted a bit of piss out her ass. She shuffled over to the stream, ankle deep, and leaned forward again. I moved up close, my cock hard and leaking drops of piss. “Ohh, boy… here it comes!”
Brownish-yellow piss streamed out of her tight, dirty anus. The flow exploded, pulsing as her bowels emptied. My urine poured from her asshole into my mouth, and the strong smells of dirty ass and ripe urine filled my nostrils. The young woman frigged her clit madly, grinding as she shit my piss. The forceful stream elicited moans and sighs from Eva before slowing and dripping down her pubes. I was jacking my cock by now, a load rising quickly from my nuts.
Eva pushed out again, grunting, a series of wet crackling pops spilled from her urine-soaked backdoor. Loose brown stool slid out and splashed in the stream. A wet fart snapped out and another loose poo pushed out of her anus. She orgasmed as she shit, writhing against her fingers, wet brown shit slipping from her ass. I stroked my cock hard, pumping against my fist, the sight of Eva as she climaxed and pooped in front of me sending me over the top and I came quickly, shooting my jism against her shitting anus and over her ass cheeks. A second shot landed on her anus as the turd slipped and fell to the water below. A third caught her hairy pussy and thighs. Brown froth bubbled again the pool of sperm on her butthole, a small, wet fart pushing the messy mix slipping down her snatch. A fourth and fifth spurts from my cock were sprayed drops of semen which shot wildly onto her back and hip.
My cock drooled and shrank, leaking the last pearls of my load into the stream. Eva turned and squatted again, facing me, breathing hard, taking my limp, dirty penis in her mouth. She cleaned me fully, sucking away the remaining sperm and urine and taint, small, loose farts snapping from her ripe asshole. I led her to a deeper spot and we spent twenty minutes or so cleaning ourselves in the cool water. I wiped away the loose remains of her bowel movements and anal sex, clearing the sperm from her pubes. My dick felt battered and bruised after the various ways it had pounded and orgasmed the last few hours or I would surely have taken her again. Her clit, too, was sore and when I tried to bring her to orgasm with my fingers, she shuddered and smiled and let me know it was too much at the time.
As I rose to go collect a couple of large towels from my truck, I saw movement about thirty feet away, saw a slender body dart away and disappear through the trees. My heart jumped. Someone had been watching Eva and me, and I had no idea how much had been witnessed! I tried to calm myself, and told Eva what I’d seen. She showed a collected front, but her voice was edged with concern.
Not that I was ashamed of what we’d done, just that… It was just something you didn’t want someone to see if they weren’t completely in to it the way we clearly were. I pushed the worry aside and we wrapped ourselves in towels and moved back to my truck.
“So… Eva… That was so fucking hot… so fucking hot… all of it. Can I see you again soon?”
“Hell yes, Adolph! I loved it. So fucking hot is right. I’ve never done… well, any of that… with anyone before. I’ve tried, but… You’re into it and that really turns me on.”
“Doing anything the rest of the day? I’m off til Monday.”
She grinned and leaned in to me. “You. I’m doing you until Monday.”
I kissed her wetly, parted. “I think we should go work on filling you up again. In more ways than one.” I produced a Luger. “Bend over, Polish bitch!”
Wtf
Oh jeez this story makes me hot for my daddy’s poop!!!
where can I find more of this?
Ruby workouts
I hope you die faggot
Thanks bro that’s epic
Your parents’ parting words to you?
his parents said to him after seeing this on his browsing history, abandoning him under a bridge
He says he will do simplier work so he can upload now and then and said that a month ago like that’s a bruh moment
feel better bro you better not be dead we need you
what this guys said
No we don’t don’t listen to this guy, we all hope you’re dead
Why all 8, and demands. He’s the artist that post his work for free. So if you’re not paying him give him a f****** break
Pass that fuckin stimulus already SHAD!!
What’s you guys’ favourite Shad comic?
RWBY
RWBY
The Jlullaby one that Shad didn’t draw?
GOTTEEM!
Guys my hometown local news published an article about an artist found dead in his home. Apparently a gang of coronas broke into his house and beat him to death while he was drawing a new page for the incestibles. Rip Shad
Shad if you don’t come back within July you’re gay
Ur mom gey.
Ever day this group of individuals remind me that…..
Bush did 9/11 now can I get an AMEN my holy brother’s and sisters
Amen my nigga
These comments make up for the lack of content aha
i just wanna fuck a femboy
Who doesn’t?
I’m straight, but yeah man😞
Agreed
pederlana
Best wishes
Don’t know where you are but wish you are healthy and remain safe!
Comment 2331
Shad if you are dying the least you can do is post some forced toddlercon bestiality. That way you can go out with some dignity.
bro wtf
Shit
did he finally die?
nope
Shad! You gotta post more fucked up shit!
Get well soon! We love and miss you shad
When will you upload a new one
So this is how people act when shad doesnt post, multiple stages main stage is denial
Shrek script
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love’s first kiss. Like that’s ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he’s in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He’ll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They’ll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They’ll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it’s quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn’t turn me in. I’ll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I’m not a puppet, I’m a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don’t let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I’ve got a talking donkey! Right. Well that’s good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He’s just a li…, just a little nervous. He’s really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That’s it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I’ve talked to… Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way! Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you talking to… …me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. Oh, that’s great. Really. Man, it’s good to be free. Now, why don’t you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? But I… I don’t have any friends. And I’m not going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea… I’ll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine. Together we’ll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don’t mine me saying. If that don’t work, your breath will certainly do the job done, ’cause… you definitively need some tic-tac or something, ’cause your breath stinks! Man you’ve ??? my note! Just like the time… …and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. Why are you following me? I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause I’m all alone, there is no one here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There’s no one to derive me. But you got to have free … -Stop singing! Well, it’s no wonder, you don’t have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A… …really tall? No! I’m an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn’t that bother you? Nope. Really? -Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What’s your name? A…, Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? You’ve got that kind of: “I don’t care what nobody thinks of me” thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You’re all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you’re quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess, you don’t entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That’s another thing, we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won’t leave. And then there’s that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don’t want to go back there. You don’t how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well…, maybe you do. But that’s why we have to stick together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A, what are you do… No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in the morning… I’m making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that’s cool. You know, I don’t know you and you don’t know me… … so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good night. I do like that half door. I’m a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I’m all alone, there’s no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It’s not… What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no… Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed’s taken. What? I live in a swamp. I’ve put up signs. I’m a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let’s go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don’t look at me. I didn’t invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I’m gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You’re coming with me. All right. That’s what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I’m on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I’m on road again… What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That’s enough. He’s ready to talk. Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me. I’m the gingerbread man. You monster. I’m not a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I’ve tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! -Tell me! Or I’ll… -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who’s hiding them? Ok, I’ll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she’s married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She’s married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don’t tell him anything! Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you’re not a king. A…, felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a… …you’re not a king, yet. But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord, because it’s time for you to meet today’s eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please welcome… Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for… Show-white. And last but certainly not least. Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don’t let that cool you off. She’s a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two… -Three! -Two! One. No, no, no. Three. Pick number three my lord. Ok, ok. Number three. Lord Farquaad. You’ve chosen… princess Fiona. She’s nice. Fiona. She’s perfect. All I have to do is just find someone… But I probably should mention little thing that happens at night… -I’ll do it! -Yes, but after sunset… Silence! I will make this princess Fiona my queen. And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain! Assemble your finest man. We’re going to have a tournament! That’s it, that’s, right there, that’s Duloc. I’ve told you I’ll find it. So. That must be lord Farquaad’s castle. Aha, that’s the place. Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something. Hey, hey wait up Shrek! -Hey, you! -No, no! Wait a second. Look, I’m not gonna eat you. I just… It’s quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? Hey look at this. Wow! -Let’s do that again. -No. no. All right. You’re going the right way for smack bottom. Sorry about that. That champion should have the honor, no, no… …the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Applause. Let the tournament begin. What is that? Ugh, it’s hideous. Oh, that’s not very nice. It’s just a donkey. Indeed. Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named champion. How about him. Oh, hey. Now, come on. Can’t we just settle this over a pint? No? All right then. Come on. Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! The chair! Give him the chair! Thank you. Thank you, very much. I’m here until Thursday. Try the wheel! Shall I give the order sir? No. I have a better idea. People of Duloc. I give you our champion! What? Congratulation, Ogre. You’ve won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I’m already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back! -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. Indeed. All right Ogre, I’ll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I’ll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime covered toast tool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. What kind of quest? Ok, let me get this straight! We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, which you only don’t have, ’cause he filled it with full of freaks on the first place. -Is that about right? -You know what? Maybe there is a good reason, donkeys shouldn’t talk. I don’t get it Shrek. Why didn’t you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them? You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. Oh, you know what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? A, no, not really, no. For your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. -Example. -Example? OK, A-a-m, Ogres are like onions. -They stink? -Yes, no. -O, they make you cry. -No. Oh, you leave them out on the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. O, you both have layers. You know not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. I don’t care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. Have you ever met a person and you say: “Hey, let’s get some paffe” and they say I don’t like paffe. Paffe is delicious. No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye, bye. See you lather. Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know I think I’ve preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something, ’cause I’m making a mess. Just the word paffe has made me start slimying Why, Shrek, did you do that? Man you got to warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was opened and everything. Believe me donkey, if it was me, you’d be dead. It’s brimstone. We must be getting close. Yeah, right, brimstone. Don’t be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. And they don’t come of stone neither. Sure it’s big enough, but look at the location. Oh, Shrek, remember when you said that Ogres have layers? Oh, yeah. Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don’t have layers. We wear ??? sleeves. Wait a second. Donkeys don’t have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -Oh, you can’t tell me you’re afraid of highs. No, I’m just a little uncomfortable of being on a rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! Come on donkey, I’m right here beside you. Ok? For emotional support. We’ll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. -Really? -Really really. Ok. That makes me feel so much better. Just keep moving and don’t look down. Don’t look down, don’t look down. Shrek! I’m looking down! I can’t do this. Just let me off right now, please. -But you’re already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. Ok, fine. I don’t have time for this. You go back. Shrek, no, wait. Don’t do that! Oh, I’m sorry. Do what? -Oh. This? -Yes, that! Yes, yes. Do it. OK. -No, Shrek! -I’m doing it. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. Shrek, I’m gonna die. That will do Donkey, that will do. Cool. So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway? Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. I was talking about the dragon Shrek. -Are you afraid? -No, but shhhhh. Oh, good. Me neither. Because there’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Here’s a…, something responsible of the situation. Not to mention dangerous situation. And there’s dragon that breathes fire. I’m sure he’s meaner than a cow or anything, but they’re scare. You know what I mean. I’m sure he’s heavier than a cow… Donkey. Two things. Ok? Shut, up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she’ll be there? I read it in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon, I’ll handle the stairs. Oh, I’ll find those stairs. I’ll ???. That’s right. Those stairs won’t know which way they go. The drafting stairs, ??? Don’t mess with me. I’m the stair master. I’m master of the stairs. I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I’d step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is. -But where is the… -Dragon! Donkey, look out! Got you. Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkling teeth. You probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you got there. And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You’re a girl dragon. Oh, sure. I mean ‘course you’re a girl dragon, ’cause you’re just ricking the feminine beauty out. What’s the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? Man, I’d really love to stay, but you know I’m a asthmatic and I don’t know if we would worked out. You’d be blowing smoke and stuff. Shrek! No, Shrek! Shrek! -Wake up! -What? Are you princess Fiona? I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that’s nice. Now let’s go. But wait, sir knight. This be our first meeting. Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? Yeah. Sorry lady there’s no time. Hey, what are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. Out through the window and down the rope by to your valued steed. You’ve had a lot of time to plan this, haven’t you? Uh-um. But we have to sing through this moment. You can residing of a poem to me. A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti. Or something. I don’t think so. Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? Shrek. So, Shrek. I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Thanks. -You didn’t slay the dragon? -It’s not my job to do this. Now, come on! But this isn’t right. ??? That’s what all the other knights did. Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. That’s not the point. Wait. Where are you going? Exit is over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. …rush into a physical relationship. I’m not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. That was the word I was looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok, let’s just back up a little and take this one step at the time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. As friends, maybe even as ??? Hey don’t do that. That’s my tail. That’s ma personal tail. And you’re going to tear it off…. Oh, no. No! -It talks?! -Yeah. It’s getting to shut up, that’s a trick. Ok, you two. Head for the exit. I’ll take care of the dragon. Ruuuuun! You did it. You rescued me. Amizing, you’re wonderful. You’re a … …a little unorthodox I admit, but by deed is great and by heart is pure. I’m entirely in your debt. And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed. I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She thinks I’m a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. -Aah, no. -Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. Oh, no, you wouldn’t, dust. But, how will you kiss me? What? That wasn’t in a job description. -Maybe it’s a perk? -No. It’s destiny. You must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight. And then they share true love’s first kiss. With Shrek? You think, wait… …you think Shrek is your true love? Well, yes. You think that Shrek is your true love. What is so funny? Let’s just say, I’m not your type, ok? Of course you are. You’re my rescuer. Now, now remove your helmet. Look. I really don’t think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I’m not going to. -Take it off! -No! -Now! -Ok, easy. As you command your highness. You’re an Ogre. Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Well, yes, actually. Oh no. This is all wrong. You’re not supposed to be an Ogre. Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? He’s the one, who wants to marry you. Well, then why didn’t he come to rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that, when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some Ogre and his pet. Well so much for noble steed. Look princess. You’re not making my job any easier. Well I’m sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I’ll be waiting for him right here. Hey, I’m no ones messenger boy, all right? -I’m a delivery boy. -You wouldn’t dare. -You coming donkey? -Put me down! Yeah, I’m right behind you. Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. This is not dignified. Put me down. Ok, here’s another question. Let’s say that a woman ‘digged’ you, but you don’t really like her, that way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren’t hurt? But you don’t get burned to a crisp neither. How do you do this? Just tell her, she’s not your true love. Everyone knows it what happens when you find… Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It’s beautiful. And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What’s he like? Well, let me put it this way, princess. Men of Farquaad’s stature are in short supply. Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You know, you’re just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. Yeah. Well maybe you’re right princess. But I’d like you do that measuring when you see him tomorrow Tomorrow? It will take that long? -Shouldn’t we stop to make camp? -No. That would take longer. We can keep going. But there are robbers in the woods. Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. Hey. Come on. I’m scarier than anything we’re gonna see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp, now! Hey, over here. Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don’t think this is decent for princess. No, no, it’s perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. Homey touches? Like what? A door. Well, gentleman I’ll be d…, good night. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, ’cause I will… I said good night! Shrek! What are you doing? I just…, you know… Oh, come on, I was just kidding. And that one, that’s Throwback. The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future form these stars? Well, the stars don’t tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look. There’s Blodna, the “Flatulent” You can guess what he is famous for. All right. Now I know you’re making this up. No. Look. There he is and there’s the group of hunters running away from his stag. Man, there ain’t nothing, but a bunch of little dots. You know donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Forget it. Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway? -Our swamp? -You know. When we’re through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. We? Donkey, there is no we. There’s no our. There’s just me and my swamp. And the first thing I’m gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just now. You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. No, do you think? -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn’t it? No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. -Why don’t you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Oh, Why you block? -I’m not blocking. -Oh yes you are. -Donkey, I’m warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who? Everyone, ok? -Oh, now we’re getting somewhere. -Oh, for ‘the love of pit’. Hey, what’s your problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? Look. I’m not the one with the problem, ok? It’s the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: AAA… Help! Run! A big stupid ugly Ogre. They judge me, before they even know me. That’s why I’m better off alone. You know what? When we met, I didn’t think you’re just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Yeah, I know. So, a… Are there any donkeys up there? Well, there’s a Cabby. The small and annoying. Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? That’s the moon. Again. Show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. Perfect. Yeah. You know I like like that. Oh come on baby… -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. Morning. How do you like your eggs? -Good morning princess. -What’s all this about? You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. Thanks. Well, eat up. We’ve got a big day ahead of us. -Shrek! -What? It’s a compliment. Better out than in I always say. But that’s no way to behave in front of a princess. -Thanks. -She’s as nasty as you are. You know. You’re not exactly what I’ve expected. Well, maybe you shouldn’t judge people before you get to know them. Princess! What are you doing? ???mon shery, for I am your saviour. And I am rescuing you from this green…beast. Hey! That’s my princess. Go find your own. Please, monster. Can’t you see I’m a little busy here? Look, pal. I don’t know who you think you are. Oh, of course. How rude that was. Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! Man, that was annoying. Oh, you little… Shall we? ???all the forin??? Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come from? -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. Where did you learn that? Well, when one lives alone one has to learn these things in case there’s a… There is an arrow in your butt. What? Oh, would you look at that. Oh, no… This is all my fault. I’m so sorry. -What’s wrong? -Shrek’s hurt. -Shrek’s hurt? Shrek’s hurt! -Oh, no. Shrek’s going to die. -Donkey, I’m ok. You can’t do this to me Shrek. I’m too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. -Does anyone know how to handle… -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I’m on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Don’t die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of the Donkey. Now, you hold still and I’ll yank this thing out. -Hey! Easy with the yanking. -I’m sorry, but it has to come out. No, no. It’s tender. What you’re doing here is the opposite… -Don’t move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you… Ok. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn’t colorblind. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Hold on, Shrek. I’m coming! Not good. Ok, ok, I can lose it. It’s just about it. Nothing happened. We were just a… Look if you want to be alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? Oh, come on. That’s the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just… Au! Hey, what’s that? Is that… There it is, princess. -Your future awaits you. -That’s Duloc? Yeah. I know. You’ll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I think needs, he has a I guess we better move on. Sure, but Shrek… -I’m worried about Donkey. -What? I mean. Look at him. He doesn’t look so good. -What are you talking about? I’m fine. -Well, that’s what they always say. And the next thing you know you’re on your back. -Dead! -You know she’s right. You look awful. -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I’ll make you up some tea. Well, I won’t say nothing, but I’ve got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see? -He’s hungry. I’ll find us some dinner. -I’ll get the firewood. Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I can’t feel my thumbs. I don’t have any thumbs!!! I think I need a hug. This is good. This is really good. -What is this? -Wheat rat. -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also great in stews. Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. I guess I’ll be dining a little different late tomorrow night. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I’ll cook all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. I’d like that. -Ah… , princess? -Yes, Shrek? I’m a…. I was wondering. Are you… a… Are you gonna eat that? Man, isn’t this romantic. Just look at that sunset. Sunset?! Oh, no. It’s late. It’s very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what’s going on here. You’re afraid of the dark. Aren’t you? Yes, yes. That’s it. That’s, I’m terrified. You know I’ll better go inside. But don’t feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too. Until… Hey, no, wait. I’m still afraid of the dark. -Good night. -Good night. Ahh. Now I really see what’s going on here. Oh, what are you talking about. Hey I don’t wanna even hear. Look, I’m an animal and I got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it. Oh, you’re crazy. I’m just bringing her back to Farquaad. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the fairemones. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. There’s nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that… well you know. I’m not saying that I do, ’cause I don’t. She’s a princess and I’m… …an Ogre. Yeah, an Ogre. -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. Princess. Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? It’s very spooky in here and are we playing little games. -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! -No. -Shrek! -It’s ok. It’s ok. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, shhh. I’m the princess. -It’s me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess. -Can you hear me? -Donkey! Listen, keep breathing. I’ll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! This is me. Princess? What happened to you? You’re a… different. -I’m ugly, ok? -Yeah. Was it something that you ate? ‘Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. -You are what you eat, I say. -No. I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. What do you mean? Look, I’ve never seen you like this before. It only happens when the sun goes down. By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm until you find true love’s first kiss. Then, take love’s true form… -Oh, that’s beautiful. I didn’t know you wrote poetry. -It’s the spell. When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. I was placed in a tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That’s why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the sun sets and he sees me, like this? All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it’s not that bad. You’re not that ugly. Wait, wait, I’ll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7. But Donkey, I’m a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess. How about if you don’t marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love’s kiss can brake the spell. But you know, you’re kind of an Ogre. And Shrek… Well you’ve got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I… How is it going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I’m ok. I saw this flower and thought of you because it’s pretty. And, well, I don’t really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you’re pretty. But I like you anyway. A…. I’m in trouble. Ok, here we go. Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don’t go together. That’s why I can’t stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don’t you see, Donkey? That’s just how it has to be. It’s the only way to break the spell. Well, at least you’ve got tell Shrek the truth. No, no. You can’t breathe the word. No one must ever know. What’s the point of being unable to talk? You got to keep secrets. Promise you won’t tell. Promise! You know, before this is over, I’m going to need whole lot of serious therapies. All right, all right. I won’t tell him. But you should. Look at my eye twitching. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him! Shrek! Shrek! There’s something I want … Shrek. Are you all right? Perfect. Never been better. I… There’s something I have to tell you. You don’t have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. -You’ve heard what I said? -Every word. I thought you’d understand? Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a hideous, ugly beast! -I thought that wouldn’t matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. Ah, right on time. Princess. I brought you a little something. What I missed? What I missed? -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take it and go. Before I change my mind. Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. For I’ve never seen such a radiant beauty before. -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no… forgive me my lord for I was just saying short… farewell. Oh. That is so sweet. You don’t have to raise good manners on the Ogre. -It’s not like it has feelings. -No. You’re right. It doesn’t. Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make… Excellent! I’ll start the plans for tomorrow we wedd… No! I mean I… Why wait? Let’s get married today. Before sunset. Oh, anxious are we? You’re right. The sooner, the better. There’s so much to do. There is the camera, the cake, the band, the guests… Captain! Round up some guests. Farewell Ogre. Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away. -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There’s something about her that you don’t know. -I talked to her last night. She’s… -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You’re great pal, aren’t you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn’t you follow her home? -Shrek. I want to go with you. -I told you, didn’t I? You’re not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But. I thought… -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. Shrek. Donkey? What are you doing? I was thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. It is around your half. See? That’s your half and this is my half. Oh, your half? Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head -Back off! -No. You back off! -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly Ogre. Fine! Hey, hey, come back here. I’m not through with you, yet. -Well, I’m through with you! -Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. Well, guess what? Now it’s my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, you don’t appreciate anything that I do! You’re always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Because that’s what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You’re right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You’re afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn’t talking about you. She was talking about… …somebody else. She wasn’t talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? No way, I’m not saying anything. You won’t listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok, look. I’m sorry, all right? I’m sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that’s the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about me? Why are you asking me for? Why don’t you just go ask her. The wedding! We’ll never make it in time! Never fear! For where there is a will, there is a way. And I have I way. Donkey? -I guess this is just my act of magnetism. -Oh, come here, you. All right. All right. Don’t get all started. No one likes kissass. All right, hop on. Hold on tight. I hadn’t have a chance to install seat belts, yet. People of Duloc. We gather here today to bear witness to reunion of our new king… Excuse me. Could you just skip ahead to “I do’s”? Go on. Go ahead and have some fun, if we need you, I’ll whistle. How about that? Shrek, wait, wait a minute. You want to do this right, don’t you? -What are you talking about? -It’s the line, it’s the line you got to wait for. The priest is going to say: “Speak now or forever hold your peace”. And that’s where you say: “I object”. -I don’t have time for this. -Wait, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don’t you? -Yes. -You want to hold her! -Yes. -Please her! -Yes! Then you got to, got to try a little tender love. -The chicks love that romantic crap. -All right. Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? We got to check it out. And as so by the power of these two… What do you see? -I now pronounce you… -There they go! -…he all ready said it. -Oh, for ‘the love of pit’. I object! Shrek? Oh, now what does he want? Hi, everyone. Having a good time, aren’t you? I love Duloc, first of all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it’s rude enough being alive, when no one wants you. But showing up uninvited to a wedding… -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? Well it’s a little late for that. So if you’ll excuse me. -But you can’t marry him! -And why not? Because, because he’s just marrying you so he can be king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don’t listen to him. -He’s not your true love. -What do you know about true love? -Well, I …I’m in… Oh, this is precious. The Ogre has fallen in love with the princess. Laugh. Shrek. Is this true? Who cares. It’s preposterious. Fiona, my love, we gonna kiss away for our happily ever after. Now kiss me! By night one way, by day another. I wanted to show you before. Well. That explains a lot. Oh. It’s disgusting. Guards, guards. I order you to get them out of my sight. -Now! Get them! Get them, both! -No! This marriage is minding, and that makes me king. See? See? -Shrek! -No. -Don’t just stand there, you dogs. -Get out of my way. No! Shrek! -And as for you my wife. -Fiona! I’ll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I will have order. I will have potential. I will have… All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here and I’m not afraid to use it. I’m a donkey on the edge! Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? Go ahead Shrek. -Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? I love you. Really? Really, really. I love you too. A time for true love’s first kiss… Fiona? Fiona? Are you all right? Yes. But I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful. But you are beautiful. I was hoping this would be a happy ending. God bless us, everyone.
Hey guys can you peer review my essay?
Midsummer Analysis Essay
Today, it’s commonly thought by young people that there is no hope: that it won’t get better. According to Shakespeare, in his most popular play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, he tells about the eventual success of a young group of lovers’ endeavors, with help from the powers of nature. Through the symbolism of these powers – karma, deities, however you may view it – as fairies, he instills in the mind of the reader the knowledge that the universe has at least some sort of plan, and that what is good will succeed eventually.
How Shakespeare does this, however, is anything but trivial. He first begins to let the reader imagine a different story – one of trouble and little success: Romeo and Juliet. When Shakespeare writes, “[The] Course of true love never did run smooth.” In reference to Hermia’s desperate desire to marry not of her father’s will, the thought is cast upon the audience that the play will be much like Romeo and Juliet, in which the course of love brought both lovers to their doom. This, of course, does not make the audience think the play is going to end well, nor does it instill a thought of a “universal plan.” However, this false premonition does in itself juxtapose the final desired message, and will be calling attention to it, and strengthening its power.
Shakespeare begins to show this final message in act I scene I, in an allusion to the story of Cupid. In the passage, the fairy lord Oberon speaks to Puck a story, speaking that Cupid skillfully struck everyone’s heart with one arrow, and with another, shot the moon, where the love power fell onto a purple flower. For those that do not know the story of Cupid, this still instills a moderate sense that if the flower power is used correctly by these powers, the story can change for the better. For those that know the story, they also think of its plot: Cupid leaves his mortal wife, to whom she tries to get back by completing a series of near-impossible tasks from Venus, the god of love. In her endeavor, she dies, but because of her bravery and commitment for love, the gods make her a goddess. This story, to the viewer, heavily pushes the front of the idea that love will succeed against all odds.
In the final moments of act III, we see a fairy Puck must cast Lysander and Demetrius to sleep. In this, he dances around their fight, drawing them where he needs without them realizing anything is odd. Once both asleep, he is able to apply the power of the previously stated purple flower to completely convince their minds to love the right respective person. This utter dominance over the two men’s fight and power to overcome their will is truly what shows the true power of the fairies as keepers of the good. It is in these final moments of the main story that the audience becomes fully aware of Shakespeare’s message that what is right will, if not at first, eventually succeed.
This notion, as stated before, is juxtaposed by the original false premonition that the play could end tragically. For the astute viewer, to think back to earlier in the show excites this, pushing forward the two thoughts in the mind, only for Shakespeare’s intended belief to stick with the viewer, for ending the show. In this interpretation of the theme, Shakespeare does a wonderful job in letting the point drive home that the powers of the universe are forever keeping what is good successful.
tldr dude, I dont even know what any of this is. Just fuck it, turn it in without thought, school is gay as shit anyways. If you get a bad grade, whatever dude,
doesn’t even matter in the end.
Wish I could genuinely help mate, I only got 65 for English. So I’d say you’ve atleast got that much with this xD. It’s a lot better than any essay I’ve ever written
Yep, looks good mate just turn it in no questions asked
Midsummer Analysis Essay
Today, it’s commonly thought by young people that there is no hope and that it (note: it might be nice to specify what “it” is from the beginning to remove vagueness) won’t get better. According to Shakespeare’s most popular play, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, he tells about the eventual success of a young group of lovers’ endeavors, with help from the powers of nature. Through the symbolism of these powers – karma, deities, however you may view it – as fairies, he instills in the mind of the reader the knowledge that the universe has some sort of plan and that what is good will succeed eventually.
How Shakespeare does this, however, is anything but trivial. He first begins by letting the reader imagine a different story, one of trouble and little success: Romeo and Juliet. When Shakespeare writes, “[The] Course of true love never did run smooth.” (note: the previous sentence is incomplete and lacks support, unless you meant to tie it into the next sentence; consider revision) In reference to Hermia’s desperate desire to marry without influence of her father (note: the wording was confusing and potentially misleading; consider using this or revising the original dependent clause so it’s more clear and direct), the thought is cast upon the audience that the play will be much like Romeo and Juliet, in which the course of love brought both lovers to their doom. This, of course, does not make the audience think the play is going to end well, nor does it instill a thought of a “universal plan”. However, this false premonition does in itself juxtapose the final desired message and will eventually call attention to it. By doing so, the message gets stronger. (strengthens and power together are a bit redundant; stick to one or the other)
Shakespeare begins to show this final message in Act I Scene I (capitalize Acts and Scenes because Shakespeare reasons) with an allusion to the story of Cupid. In the passage, the fairy lord Oberon tells Puck a story, speaking of how Cupid skillfully struck everyone’s heart with one arrow and with another, shot the moon, causing the power of love (haven’t read much Shakespeare, so if the text directly quotes “love power”, use that instead; otherwise, “power of love” makes more sense dramatically) to fall onto a purple flower. For those that do not know the story of Cupid, this still instills a moderate sense that if the power is used correctly (removed unnecessary words), the story can change for the better. For those that know the story, they also think of its plot; (use semicolon here, as the next part serves as supporting evidence) Cupid leaves his mortal wife, who tries to get Cupid back by completing a series of near-impossible tasks from Venus, the god of love. The wife dies during the endeavor (specify the subject; “she” could technically refer to the wife or Venus, even if it’s painfully obvious that it’s the wife), but because of her bravery and commitment for love, the gods made her a goddess (now that you specified who the subject is, “she” is appropriate). This story, to the viewer, heavily pushes forward the idea that love will succeed against all odds.
In the final moments of Act III, we see a fairy, Puck, who must cast Lysander and Demetrius to sleep. To do so, he dances around their fight, drawing them where he needs without arousing their suspicion (I thought this phrasing was less wordy and more direct). Once both fell asleep, he is able to apply the power of the aforementioned (“previously mentioned” works too, but I like fancy words sometimes) purple flower to completely sway (I changed “convince” to “sway” because convincing feels like you are actively changing their opinions while they are consciously aware of it… if you use convince, delete “completely” as convince is defined as “causing (someone) to believe firmly in the truth of something”) their minds to love the right respective person. This utter dominance over the two men’s fight and willpower (power to overcome their will is something Puck has and uses, not something the two men have; the only thing they had was willpower, which fell before Puck’s abilities) is truly what shows the true power of the fairies as keepers of the good. It is in these final moments of the main story that the audience becomes fully aware of Shakespeare’s message that what is right will, if not at first, eventually succeed.
This notion, as stated before, is juxtaposed by the original false premonition that the play could end tragically. For the astute viewer, to think back earlier in the show excites this,..
(I know this is Shadbase, but “excites” isn’t a word I would use here… also, it isn’t clear what you are intending to describe here. Are you talking about exciting the viewer or talking about reinforcing the juxtaposition idea?)
(If the next sentence is any indication, you are describing the concept of juxtaposition, so consider the following text revision in the parentheses below)
(This notion, as stated before, is juxtaposed by the original false premonition that the play could end tragically. For the astute viewer, to think back to earlier in the show reinforces this concept. By pushing forward two thoughts in the mind, Shakespeare is able to ultimately project his intended belief onto the viewer during the conclusion of the show.)
…pushing forward the two thoughts in the mind, only for Shakespeare’s intended belief to stick with the viewer, for ending the show. In this interpretation of the theme, Shakespeare does a wonderful job in driving the point home (Shakespeare didn’t “let things happen”. He wrote the play) that the powers of the universe responsible for keeping the peace are always successful.
Remove the parentheses, as they are the editor’s/my notes.
By the way, if I miss something, don’t be surprised. Editing in a box that’s one inch wide limits my view of the essay. And no, I don’t have Microsoft Office: Word and I’m too lazy to search my computer for Notepad, yet somehow not lazy enough to edit a post on Shadbase.
Midsummer Analysis Essay
Overall: Depending on your intended audience and how formal it should be, you may want to replace second-person words like “you” with “one”. I will change the essay to third person so it’s an impartial analysis, but if you want to keep the original, feel free to do so.
Today, it’s commonly thought by young people that there is no hope and that it (note: it might be nice to specify what “it” is from the beginning to remove vagueness) won’t get better. According to Shakespeare’s most popular play, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, he tells about the eventual success of a young group of lovers’ endeavors, with help from the powers of nature. Through the symbolism of these powers – karma, deities, however one views it – as fairies, he instills in the mind of the reader the knowledge that the universe has some sort of plan and that what is good will succeed eventually.
How Shakespeare does this, however, is anything but trivial. He first begins by letting the reader imagine a different story, one of trouble and little success: Romeo and Juliet. When Shakespeare writes, “[The] Course of true love never did run smooth.” (note: the previous sentence is incomplete and lacks support, unless you meant to tie it into the next sentence; consider revision) In reference to Hermia’s desperate desire to marry without influence of her father (note: the wording was confusing and potentially misleading; consider using this or revising the original dependent clause so it’s more clear and direct), the thought is cast upon the audience that the play will be much like Romeo and Juliet, in which the course of love brought both lovers to their doom. This, of course, does not make the audience think the play is going to end well, nor does it instill a thought of a “universal plan”. However, this false premonition does in itself juxtapose the final desired message and will eventually call attention to it. By doing so, the message gets stronger. (strengthens and power together are a bit redundant; stick to one or the other)
Shakespeare begins to show this final message in Act I Scene I (capitalize Acts and Scenes because Shakespeare reasons) (also, begins to show a final message in Act 1 Scene 1? Try the use of more subtle language, such as “Shakespeare subtly alludes to his final message from the beginning” or “Shakespeare elusively implies his final message starting in Act 1 Scene 1”. ) with an allusion to the story of Cupid. In the passage, the fairy lord Oberon tells Puck a story, speaking of how Cupid skillfully struck everyone’s heart with one arrow and with another, shot the moon, causing the power of love (haven’t read much Shakespeare, so if the text directly quotes “love power”, use that instead; otherwise, “power of love” makes more sense gramatically) to fall onto a purple flower. For those that do not know the story of Cupid, this continues to instill (I changed “still instills” because this threw me through a loop when I read it; it’s not wrong, but to a disinterested or, in my case, a tired reader, this can throw people off) a moderate sense that if the power is used correctly (removed unnecessary words), the story can change for the better. For those that know the story, they also think of its plot. (I changed my mind about the semicolon, since the explanation of the plot spans across a couple sentences) Cupid leaves his mortal wife, who tries to get Cupid back by completing a series of near-impossible tasks from Venus, the god of love. The wife dies during the endeavor (specify the subject; “she” could technically refer to the wife or Venus, even if it’s painfully obvious that it’s the wife), but because of her bravery and commitment for love, the gods made her a goddess (now that you specified who the subject is, “she” is appropriate). This story, to the viewer, heavily pushes forward the idea that love will succeed against all odds.
In the final moments of Act III, we see a fairy, Puck, who must cast Lysander and Demetrius to sleep. To do so, he dances around their fight, drawing them where he needs without arousing their suspicions (I thought this phrasing was less wordy and more direct). Once both fell asleep, he is able to apply the power of the aforementioned (“previously mentioned” works too, but I like fancy words sometimes) purple flower to completely sway (I changed “convince” to “sway” because convincing feels like you are actively changing their opinions while they are consciously aware of it… if you use convince, delete “completely” as convince is defined as “causing (someone) to believe firmly in the truth of something”) their minds to love the right respective person. This utter dominance over the two men’s fight and willpower (power to overcome their will is something Puck has and uses, not something the two men have; the only thing they had was willpower, which fell before Puck’s abilities) is what truly shows the true power of the fairies as keepers of the good. It is in these final moments of the main story that the audience becomes fully aware of Shakespeare’s message that what is right will, if not at first, eventually succeed.
This notion, as stated before, is juxtaposed by the original false premonition that the play could end tragically. For the astute viewer, to think back earlier in the show excites this,..
(I know this is Shadbase, but “excites” isn’t a word I would use here… also, it isn’t clear what you are intending to describe here. Are you talking about exciting the viewer or talking about reinforcing the juxtaposition idea?)
(If the next sentence is any indication, you are describing the concept of juxtaposition, so consider the following text revision in the parentheses below)
(This notion, as stated before, is juxtaposed by the original false premonition that the play could end tragically. For the astute viewer, to think back to earlier in the show reinforces this concept. By pushing forward two thoughts, Shakespeare is able to ultimately project his intended belief onto the viewer during the conclusion of the show.)
(If you are talking about the viewer, consider this instead)
(For astute viewers, they get excited when reflecting on the events earlier in the show. By pushing forward two ideas, Shakespeare is able to ultimately project his intended belief onto the viewer during the conclusion of the show.)
…pushing forward the two thoughts in the mind, only for Shakespeare’s intended belief to stick with the viewer, for ending the show. In this interpretation of the theme, Shakespeare does a wonderful job in driving the point home (Shakespeare didn’t “let things happen”. He wrote the play) that the powers of the universe responsible for keeping the peace are always successful.
Remember what I said about being too lazy to open Notepad? I changed my mind. If there are any mistakes in here I glossed over or if I went on a tangent, blame sleep deprivation.
So I can’t help too much with the material itself so I’ll just give my opinion on the format.
Usually at the start of the essay you want to review your body paragraphs, it makes the whole thing easier to digest.
Not sure how strict your teach/professor is but you’ve got some redundant writing. “However”, “of course”, “in itself”, etc all it does is artificially extend your writing and it sounds like a way of reaching a minimum word count.
Unless you teach is asking for specific jargon/terminology use I’d say avoid using more complicated wording. You should write what you would have no problem reading. That doesn’t just mean using easy to understand words but words that you aren’t going to trip over and have to re-read.
You don’t need to talk like a baby but you do need to use simpler words and just less overall.
For example, in body 2 sentence 1 why did you use the word “cast” instead of “put”?
I’m gonna stop here because honestly while I started out positive all this flowering language you’ve shoved in is pissing me off.
This reads like someone trying to reach the minimum numbers of words, I even see “Do not” and “does not.”
I love these comments, these fan fic stories about bees, german superiority, sexual confusion, and scat. You are all the epitomey of human perfection and I have never been so proud to be associated with a truer group of individuals. I love you all.
Wow is Shadman dead or something?
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
Check out the fkn losers here lol
Check out this waste of space chadley who most likely is insecure about his tiny 2inch cock ( I’m being generous)
Imagine posting annonymously
attention everyone in the comments: we dont want your shitty fanfics here. get the fuck of this site and post it somewhere else
Kik: IPraisePorn. Hmu if you are a femboy/trap
Losers
Bring back the muslim girl
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
– Barry?
– Adam?
– Oan you believe this is happening?
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
– You got lint on your fuzz.
– Ow! That’s me!
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
– Hey, Adam.
– Hey, Barry.
– Is that fuzz gel?
– A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
– Hi, Barry.
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
– Hear about Frankie?
– Yeah.
– You going to the funeral?
– No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
– We are!
– Bee-men.
– Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
– A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
For me there was fear, fear of my lust for excrement, turd burglaries, and men with dicks & tits but there was also a sense of relief, and at last I knew there was a reason for the way I felt and something I could try to fight. However, the initial thoughts are that if you have a mental illness and is a faggot you will be locked away in an institution, lobotomised, and your life is over. Those thoughts are based, not on what the reality is, but on the incel teenagers perception. A perception based upon generations scared to accept what is different and quite happy to lock it away – and literally throw away the key.
The truth is i was locked away inside a padded cell for many years You need to realise that consuming fecal matter is my passion, while I would smear it all over my fat, saggy body and cellulite covered greasy skin in many ways it is beginning again. Once you realise that then you can accept the illness. You can accept the scat and you can live.
Sadly there were people who roam my in my brain to me who believed these misconceptions and whether through a lack of understanding, fear that it was contagious, like ebola or simply shame, of me masturbating my micro penis furiously to faggot porn, 2 girls one cup, 4 girls finger paint, and especially to my favourite fantasies guy’s with fake tits fucking other men so they distanced themselves and could not deal me having a mental illness. Or being a scat-loving homosexual. These were not just the made up friends in my head, or even close make belief friends also know as the screaming voices they were close family. Sadly it included my brother. Who was my altar ego
That shame, that fear of stigma, meant that I struggled to tell people when I was diagnosed. That I had a mental illness.
And as a flaming faggot, a obese man child who knows i’m in reality a women also i was a professional turd burglar, I had to catch em all, you know like pokemon.
I wanted to taste every variety of shit from solid to liquid diarrhea
It made me feel frustrated, having to bottle in who I was and how I felt. Nothing should be bottled in, especially when you have a mental illness.
When I speak to my self and I, and tell them, happily and with no shame, I have bipolar disorder, then often their reaction is that I look mentally ill, whatever that means.
I still get depressed, I still have days when I don’t want to leave my toilet bowl, crawl under the sheets and hide from pathetic life. I still have days when I feel “wrong”. But I have support, my condition is well managed enjoyment for excrement at the moment, I remember to take my heavy dose of meds and my life is tragic. I have a beautiful pair of juciy man tits I have a good professional job, Still a turd burglar I can talk to my self, and I function. I have a normal life despite being mentally ill pretend female.
Well that’s what I keep telling my other personalities.
A mental illness does define what sick fuck you are.
And I am one STUPID WHORE
I’m a guy, here’s my Kik jeff6x67 send me anything, my dick your dick maybe animal dick just bored
We did it, he’s dead
Hey shad… I ask this only out of concern… but are you doing OK? Haven’t heard you from a while in regards to art and I just want to see if you are doing alright. I wish you well as always :3
1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the
life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling,
have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical
suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will
worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human being to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world,
it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering
even in “advanced” countries.
2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level
of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at
the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the
social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or
modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.
3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous
the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later.
4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it
may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do
outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for
a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not
governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.
5. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrialtechnological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we
regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have
received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed
environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of
wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.
The Psychology of Modern Leftism
6. Almost everyone will agree that we live in a deeply troubled society. One of the most widespread manifestations of the
craziness of our world is leftism, so a discussion of the psychology of leftism can serve as an introduction to the discussion of
the problems of modern society in general.
7. But what is leftism? During the first half of the 20th century leftism could have been practically identified with socialism.
Today the movement is fragmented and it is not clear who can properly be called a leftist. When we speak of leftists in this
article we have in mind mainly socialists, collectivists, “politically correct” types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal
rights activists and the like. But not everyone who is associated with one of these movements is a leftist. What we are trying to
get at in discussing leftism is not so much movement or an ideology as a psychological type, or rather a collection of related
types. Thus, what we mean by “leftism” will emerge more clearly in the course of our discussion of leftist psychology. (Also,
see paragraphs 227-230.)
8. Even so, our conception of leftism will remain a good deal less clear than we would wish, but there doesn’t seem to be any
remedy for this. All we are trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the two psychological tendencies that
we believe are the main driving force of modern leftism. We by no means claim to be telling the WHOLE truth about leftist
psychology. Also, our discussion is meant to apply to modern leftism only. We leave open the question of the extent to which
our discussion could be applied to the leftists of the 19th and early 20th centuries.
9. The two psychological tendencies that underlie modern leftism we call “feelings of inferiority” and “oversocialization.”
Feelings of inferiority are characteristic of modern leftism as a whole, while oversocialization is characteristic only of a certain
segment of modern leftism; but this segment is highly influential.