I just threw up in public, the mask did nothing, all it did was make it more difficult to throw up. I must have looked pretty stupid.
— Shädman💀 (@Shadbase) June 20, 2020
I forgot to upload this one, it only took a few hours to draw and I made it last weekend.
Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then.
Fuck spammers and scammers
A awesomeness production
Diper911
Johnnycake
your ass for my ass at Div0220 kik
your ass my ass like Div0220
Everyone’s a cum-dumpster when they’re sleeping.
Its alive?
Well he is still active which is a relief. Take care shadbase, you’re awesome man
show yourself to receive me kik Div0220
send yourself to receive me kik Div0220
Send nudes kik Div0220
my kik is vodka.central im 14 and willing to show my ass because im bored as hell
Hey buddy boy, you’re underaged
Def not 14 with VODKA in the name
shad u good ?
740 to 9000
Hey guys. Horny chubby femboy here love wearing panties/thongs. Kik me at ‘specialrequestz’ im 24 so plsase be over 18!
Fat fuck
rude bitch
shad come back
Yum yum sauce
Bored? Comment my profile!
Woooow! I soo sexy!
Dear Kelly
You’re comment is not only the absolute stupidest shit you ever type on this site, but if i were you i get your head out of your ass, kill yourself and let satan take care of you. But the way you look like a god awful slut who loves to scam people and couldn’t hold down a job. Hoe do yourself a favor and just stop this nonsense or ice will depart your sorryass to russia you stupid piece of shit of a scammer
Yeah fuck that hoe bro she can fucking suck and die
Spam damn
girl seeking girl snap charlo_ttep ;) please i need puss
girl seeking girl snap charlo_ttep ;)
I need some bad bitches
My snap is vpercdemon. Send some ass, femboy or girl. I need to cum.
My snap is vpercdemon. Send some ass, femboy or girl.
I’m bored
(Y) Same
#metoo
Bored
Being ian sucks
La la la do do do
When he returns more choking and throat lifts please
Boy with a big ass ;) add me on kik: Zeke_1016
You gay shit
My ass could probably make you gay so whatever
Lol
cringe
Dish nation sucks
Expand dong
Bonzi buddy
Bonzi Buddy sucks
That song that was played on the tena commercial with the woman in the bathroom sucks a lot of trump supporter dick that it became a trump supporter who killed herself that night
Why
Flood the comments
129 DAYS.
8250
And now back to arthur
If biden wins i kill all of you. You think covid is bad? Just wait.
Dear Anon
You’re comment is not only the absolute stupidest shit you ever type on this site, but if i were you i get your head out of your ass, kill yourself and let satan take care of you. Btw get the coronavirus you fucking Trump support. This god forsaken comment system better not discard this comment
Or you could stop supporting a child molester? Just a tip. Also MAGA
Lol you guys live in a shit hole
I thought he was supposed to make america greatalready what happenedbud
I thought he was supposed to make america greatalready what happenedbud
And now a word from us kids
Binky Barnes
Week 480, its June 4, 1940. The Germans are advancing have got us cornered on some sandy beach. There’s no Shadman, no nut, and no indicator of help on the way. I’m wondering how the few Canadians with us Brits will get home even if they are brought back to the homeland.
May god have mercy on our souls.
Berg ville
Pendleton Ward
Al roker
alykitty111 on snapchat for nudes
A thought occurred to me. Shad went away shortly before (in the grand scheme of things) the cuties shit from netflix. Maybe he somehow knew about it before hand and took a job that would take long enough for peoples interest in it for one reason or another to wither. That way he cant receive hate over it……and anyone with half a brain would understand it would come from both sides.
add me on snapchat alykitty111
Kik sucks
Send me pics on kik 18+ jro588
Shadman has been gone for so long because he’s secretly been biden all this time
How in the ever living hell can shadman can be a 78 year old man you fucking idiot
yeah fuck you for your obviously satire comment you fucking cuck
You’re a piece of shit! Of course it was satire you fucking philistine
Stfu
Go back to reddit you neckbeard
Add my kik I’m bored and probably horny it’s optimismiskey
Add my kik I’m bored and probably horny Optimismiskey
Are you even alive at this point?
Add me on kik if you like big asses ;)
Kik:Zeke_1016
Kik – noahalice
Add for chats
Scam angels
Zero hero
é shadman morreu e a shadbase se tornou seu santuario…
I need some advice on turn ons for guys >> imma girl an dont wanna say anything cringy but my boyfriends away n we’ve been sexting but I feel like I’m saying weird shit sb help asap
Simply start it off and say “I’m Horny” people who usually tend to say horny than moody get the job done, If you want to get him, go into detail on what you are doing, as it can be fondling your breast/body, touching down there, hickies, anything, that usually tends to work plus with some videos of you doing it, hope this helps 👍
Nudes… Quickest way to a man’s crotch..
The best thing you can do is just talk about turn ons with each other. Being honest and open sexually saves so much time and makes everything a lot more comfortable and sexy. You should just look up dirty fan fic to know how to sext, basically the same lol
this is it… this is the end of shadbaaaass
That it is, we had a good run boys
Oh Bob Saget
8200
send whatever i’ll send back kik Div0220
I’m young twink/femboy with a bubble butt. And I need a boyfriend to take my virginity, add my snap ben_grabiel.
I’m young twink with a bubble butt. And I need a boyfriend to take my virginity, add my snap ben_grabiel. Daddy;)
Pen15=penis
Lonely island classics
Tuca and bertie
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. You stupid piece of shit
guerilla warfare idiot
Thats the joke retard
Nice copypasta fag.
Tiffany Haddish
They didnt say omg they killed kenny you bastards Dis is bootiful Fank u 4 blessing meh with dis wonderful titty bursting excitement of a video
kyle you dirty ginger jersey jew They killed Kenny!
I wonder if Hillary Scott has seen this.
“Fuckin jew” notify your school. God has died
We’re really getting close to the return of the king.
What happened to Shad?
Why does Patrick look like a mentally disabled Post Malone The actual porn part was unnecessary Why SpongeBob look like uncooked ramen noodles Why does Patrick look like Sinestro? reported for nudity. get off of our fucking christian site! This is why North Korea is threatening us with nuclear warfare Omfg, why am I watching these parodies why is spongebob black and not yellow WTF? This aint Nickelodeon! See what l did there That costume is pure nightmare fuel 9/11 Didn’t get me horny enough Master Wayne does not know that I watch this on the Batcomputer. Quite frankly, it makes me want to drink a metric ton of splash free strawberry scented bleach. I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard
Lol
Jizz
Kill me
send ass get ass Div0220 kik
Netflix presents
A Netflix original
Piss piss piss washcloth
Now what does this mean?
Tourettes guy
I brought your Colgate toothpaste the one with tartar control and it made me feel like a piece of shit
I want two cheeseburgers. I want pickles and ketchup on them and don’t load it up with bullshit
Bacon and eggs dear
Oh for crying out loud I said bacon and eggs
Send nudes(girls only)
Send stuff from porn stash(guys)
Kik. Rebel_Hunter123
18M
Dafuq is 18m
Take your ass to pornhub
Send some sexy nudes(girls only)
Send stuff from your porn stash.(guys who have nudes to share)
Rebel_Hunter123
I’m 18M
Hulu presents
A hulu original
HOME
The Entire Bee Movie Script
Bee Movie Script – Dialogue Transcript
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
– Barry?
– Adam?
– Oan you believe this is happening?
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
– You got lint on your fuzz.
– Ow! That’s me!
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
– Hey, Adam.
– Hey, Barry.
– Is that fuzz gel?
– A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
– Hi, Barry.
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
– Hear about Frankie?
– Yeah.
– You going to the funeral?
– No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
– We are!
– Bee-men.
– Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
– A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
Honey!
– That girl was hot.
– She’s my cousin!
– She is?
– Yes, we’re all cousins.
– Right. You’re right.
– At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
– What do you think he makes?
– Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
– What does that do?
– Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
– Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
– Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
– Hey, Jocks!
– Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
– I wonder where they were.
– I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
– Oouple of Hive Harrys.
– Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
– Oh, my!
– I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
– Six miles, huh?
– Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
– Maybe I am.
– You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
– Well, there’s a lot of choices.
– But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
– Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
– I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
– You’re gonna be a stirrer?
– No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
– We’re starting work today!
– Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
– Is it still available?
– Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
– What’d you get?
– Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
– You want to go first?
– No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
– Any chance of getting the Krelman?
– Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
What happened to you?
Where are you?
– I’m going out.
– Out? Out where?
– Out there.
– Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
– Look at that.
– Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
– Thank you.
– OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
– That’s awful.
– And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
– Antennae, check.
– Nectar pack, check.
– Wings, check.
– Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
– Ever see pollination up close?
– No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
– Guys!
– This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
– Should we tell him?
– I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
– Do something!
– I’m driving!
– Hi, bee.
– He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
– Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
– Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
– You could put carob chips on there.
– Bye.
– Supposed to be less calories.
– Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
– You’re talking.
– Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
– I’m talking with a bee.
– Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
– Wait! How did you learn to do that?
– What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
– That’s very funny.
– Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something?
– Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
– It’s just coffee.
– I hate to impose.
– Don’t be ridiculous!
– Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
– I shouldn’t.
– Have some.
– No, I can’t.
– Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
– Where?
– These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
– You do?
– Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
– Really?
– My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
– Why do girls put rings on their toes?
– Why not?
– It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
– Maybe I’ll try that.
– You all right, ma’am?
– Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
– Thanks!
– Yeah.
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
– Sounds amazing.
– It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
– Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
– Some of them. But some of them don’t.
– How’d you get back?
– Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
– Well…
– Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
– A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
– No, no, no, not a wasp.
– Spider?
– I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
– Her name’s Vanessa.
– Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
– They call it a crumb.
– It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
– You know what a Oinnabon is?
– No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!
– Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
– We’re still here.
– I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
– Then why yell at me?
– Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
– Where are you going?
– I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
– What is wrong with you?!
– It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
– I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
– I’ll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
– Is he that actor?
– I never heard of him.
– Why is this here?
– For people. We eat it.
You don’t have
enough food of your own?
– Well, yes.
– How do you get it?
– Bees make it.
– I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
– It’s organic.
– It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
– You almost done?
– Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
– And you?
– He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
– What is that?!
– Oh, no!
– A wiper! Triple blade!
– Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
– Bee!
– Moose blood guy!!
– You hear something?
– Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
– Bees hang tight.
– We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
– What if you get in trouble?
– You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
– Hey, guys!
– Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y’all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
– Oheck out the new smoker.
– Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
– What?
– Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
– You wish you could.
– Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
– That would hurt.
– No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
– Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
– And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ’em.
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
– Is that that same bee?
– Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
– Hello.
– Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
’cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
– Frosting…
– How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
– Oh, those just get me psychotic!
– Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
– This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
– I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
– What’s the matter?
– I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
’cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
– No.
– I couldn’t hear you.
– No.
– No.
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
– Where have I heard it before?
– I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
– Order in this court!
– You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
– Say it!
– Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
– Ken!
– Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
– What’s that?
– Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
– You’re bluffing.
– Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
– You got the tweezers?
– Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
– Good friends?
– Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
– Yeah, but…
– So those aren’t your real parents!
– Oh, Barry…
– Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y’all date your cousins?
– Objection!
– I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
– Adam, stay with me.
– I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
– Hey, buddy.
– Hey.
– Is there much pain?
– Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
– Why?
– The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
– What are we gonna do?
– He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
– What if Montgomery’s right?
– What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
– I think we need to shut down!
– Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
– Are they out celebrating?
– They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
– What did you want to show me?
– This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
– I’ll sting you, you step on me.
– Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
– Roses are flowers!
– Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
– Bees.
– Park.
– Pollen!
– Flowers.
– Repollination!
– Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
– Where should I sit?
– What are you?
– I believe I’m the pea.
– The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
– Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
– I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
– You and your insect pack your float?
– Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
– Remove your stinger.
– It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
– What’d you say, Hal?
– Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
– Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
– Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
– Is that another bee joke?
– No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
– Who’s that?
– Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
– Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
– Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
– Get this on the air!
– Got it.
– Stand by.
– We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow!
– Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
– Hover?
– Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
– That may have been helping me.
– And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– Hold it!
– Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow.
– Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
– What?
– I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– What in the world is on the tarmac?
– Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– Vanessa, aim for the flower.
– OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
– Not that flower! The other one!
– Which one?
– That flower.
– I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
– This is insane, Barry!
– This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
– Yes. No high-five!
– Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
– Thank you.
– But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
– When will this nightmare end?!
– Let it all go.
– Beautiful day to fly.
– Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
– Thinking bee!
– Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
– Barry?
– Adam?
– Oan you believe this is happening?
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
– You got lint on your fuzz.
– Ow! That’s me!
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
– Hey, Adam.
– Hey, Barry.
– Is that fuzz gel?
– A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
– Hi, Barry.
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
– Hear about Frankie?
– Yeah.
– You going to the funeral?
– No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
– We are!
– Bee-men.
– Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
– A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
Honey!
– That girl was hot.
– She’s my cousin!
– She is?
– Yes, we’re all cousins.
– Right. You’re right.
– At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
– What do you think he makes?
– Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
– What does that do?
– Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
– Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
– Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
– Hey, Jocks!
– Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
– I wonder where they were.
– I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
– Oouple of Hive Harrys.
– Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
– Oh, my!
– I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
– Six miles, huh?
– Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
– Maybe I am.
– You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
– Well, there’s a lot of choices.
– But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
– Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
– I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
– You’re gonna be a stirrer?
– No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
– We’re starting work today!
– Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
– Is it still available?
– Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
– What’d you get?
– Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
– You want to go first?
– No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
– Any chance of getting the Krelman?
– Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
What happened to you?
Where are you?
– I’m going out.
– Out? Out where?
– Out there.
– Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
– Look at that.
– Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
– Thank you.
– OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
– That’s awful.
– And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
– Antennae, check.
– Nectar pack, check.
– Wings, check.
– Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
– Ever see pollination up close?
– No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
– Guys!
– This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
– Should we tell him?
– I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
– Do something!
– I’m driving!
– Hi, bee.
– He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
– Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
– Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
– You could put carob chips on there.
– Bye.
– Supposed to be less calories.
– Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
– You’re talking.
– Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
– I’m talking with a bee.
– Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
– Wait! How did you learn to do that?
– What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
– That’s very funny.
– Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something?
– Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
– It’s just coffee.
– I hate to impose.
– Don’t be ridiculous!
– Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
– I shouldn’t.
– Have some.
– No, I can’t.
– Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
– Where?
– These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
– You do?
– Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
– Really?
– My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
– Why do girls put rings on their toes?
– Why not?
– It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
– Maybe I’ll try that.
– You all right, ma’am?
– Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
– Thanks!
– Yeah.
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
– Sounds amazing.
– It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
– Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
– Some of them. But some of them don’t.
– How’d you get back?
– Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
– Well…
– Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
– A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
– No, no, no, not a wasp.
– Spider?
– I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
– Her name’s Vanessa.
– Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
– They call it a crumb.
– It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
– You know what a Oinnabon is?
– No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!
– Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
– We’re still here.
– I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
– Then why yell at me?
– Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
– Where are you going?
– I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
– What is wrong with you?!
– It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
– I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
– I’ll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
– Is he that actor?
– I never heard of him.
– Why is this here?
– For people. We eat it.
You don’t have
enough food of your own?
– Well, yes.
– How do you get it?
– Bees make it.
– I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
– It’s organic.
– It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
– You almost done?
– Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
– And you?
– He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
– What is that?!
– Oh, no!
– A wiper! Triple blade!
– Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
– Bee!
– Moose blood guy!!
– You hear something?
– Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
– Bees hang tight.
– We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
– What if you get in trouble?
– You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
– Hey, guys!
– Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y’all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
– Oheck out the new smoker.
– Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
– What?
– Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
– You wish you could.
– Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
– That would hurt.
– No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
– Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
– And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ’em.
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
– Is that that same bee?
– Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
– Hello.
– Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
’cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
– Frosting…
– How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
– Oh, those just get me psychotic!
– Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
– This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
– I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
– What’s the matter?
– I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
’cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
– No.
– I couldn’t hear you.
– No.
– No.
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
– Where have I heard it before?
– I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
– Order in this court!
– You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
– Say it!
– Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
– Ken!
– Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
– What’s that?
– Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
– You’re bluffing.
– Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
– You got the tweezers?
– Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
– Good friends?
– Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
– Yeah, but…
– So those aren’t your real parents!
– Oh, Barry…
– Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y’all date your cousins?
– Objection!
– I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
– Adam, stay with me.
– I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
– Hey, buddy.
– Hey.
– Is there much pain?
– Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
– Why?
– The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
– What are we gonna do?
– He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
– What if Montgomery’s right?
– What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
– I think we need to shut down!
– Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
– Are they out celebrating?
– They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
– What did you want to show me?
– This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
– I’ll sting you, you step on me.
– Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
– Roses are flowers!
– Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
– Bees.
– Park.
– Pollen!
– Flowers.
– Repollination!
– Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
– Where should I sit?
– What are you?
– I believe I’m the pea.
– The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
– Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
– I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
– You and your insect pack your float?
– Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
– Remove your stinger.
– It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
– What’d you say, Hal?
– Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
– Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
– Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
– Is that another bee joke?
– No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
– Who’s that?
– Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
– Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
– Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
– Get this on the air!
– Got it.
– Stand by.
– We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow!
– Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
– Hover?
– Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
– That may have been helping me.
– And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– Hold it!
– Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow.
– Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
– What?
– I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– What in the world is on the tarmac?
– Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– Vanessa, aim for the flower.
– OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
– Not that flower! The other one!
– Which one?
– That flower.
– I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
– This is insane, Barry!
– This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
– Yes. No high-five!
– Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
– Thank you.
– But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
– When will this nightmare end?!
– Let it all go.
– Beautiful day to fly.
– Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
– Thinking bee!
– Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
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They might never return but the day they do we will be here
Hi everybody.
Miss you all.
[singing in foreign language]
Gramma: In the beginning, there was only ocean, until the Mother Island emerged. Te Fiti. Her heart held the greatest power ever known. It could create life itself. And Te Fiti shared it with the world. But in time some began to seek Te Fiti’s heart. They believed if they could posses it, the great power of creation would be theirs. And one day…
[zapping]
[screeching]
Gramma: …the most daring of them all voyaged across the vast ocean to take it. He was a demigod of the wind and sea.
[zapping]
Gramma: He was a warrior. A trickster.
[zapping]
Gramma: A shapeshifter who could change form with the power of his magical fish hook.
[zapping]
Gramma: And his name was Maui.
[chuckles]
[rumbling]
Gramma: But without her heart, Te Fiti began to crumble giving birth to a terrible darkness.
[thud]
[rumbling]
[yells]
[screeching]
Gramma: Maui tried to escape, but was confronted by another who sought the heart.
[rumbling]
Gramma: Te Kâ! A demon of earth and fire.
[rumbling]
[screeching]
Gramma: Maui was struck from the sky…
[bang]
Gramma: …never to be seen again. And his magical fish hook and the heart of Te Fiti were lost to the sea. Where, even now, a thousand years later, Te Kâ and the demons of the deep still hunt for the heart. Hiding in a darkness that will continue to spread, chasing away our fish, draining the life from island after island, until every one of us is devoured by the bloodthirsty jaws of inescapable death!
[wailing]
[groaning]
[thud]
[clapping and chuckling]
Gramma: But one day, the heart will be found by someone who will journey beyond the reef, find Maui, deliever him across the great ocean to restore Te Fiti’s heart and save us all.
Tui: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Thank you, Mother. That’s enough.
Toddler Moana: Papa.
Tui: No one goes outside the reef. We are safe here. There is no darkness. There are no monsters.
Toddler: Monsters!
[all screaming]
Tui: There’s no monsters, no monsters…
Toddler: It’s the darkness!
Tui: No, there is nothing beyond our reef, but storms and rough seas.
Toddler: I’m gonna throw up.
Tui: As long as we stay on our very safe island, we’ll be fine.
Gramma: The legends are true. Someone will have to go.
Tui: Mother, Motunui is a paradise. Who would want to go anywhere else?
[giggling]
[bird squawking]
[giggling]
[birds screeching]
[birds screeching]
[grunts]
[squawking]
Toddler Moana: Shoo, shoo! [yelling] [cooing] [exclaiming]
[ethereal whispering]
[soothing humming]
[giggling]
[grunts]
[singing in foreign language]
[exclaims]
[giggling]
[exhales]
[waves gushing]
[giggling]
[exclaims]
Tui: Moana!
[giggling]
[singing fades]
Tui: There you are, Moana. What are you doing? You scared me.
Toddler Moana: What? I wann’s go back.
Tui: I know, I know. But you don’t go out there. It’s dangerous. Moana, come on. Let’s go back to the village. You are the next great chief of our village of our people.
Sina: And you will do wonderous things, my little minnow.
Tui: Oh, yes. But first, you must learn where you’re meant to be.
[grunting]
[music starts playing]
[♪ Christopher Jackson: Where You Are]
[children laughing]
Tui: ♪ Moana. Make way, make way. Moana, it’s time you knew, the village of Motinui is all you need. The dancers are practicing. They dance to an ancient song. ♪
Men: ♪ Who needs a new song. This old one’s all we need. ♪
Tui: ♪ This tradition is our mission. And Moana, there’s so much to do. ♪
Chorus: ♪ Make way! ♪
Tui: ♪ Don’t trip on the taro root. ♪
Chorus: ♪ That’s all you need. ♪
Tui: ♪ We share everything we make! ♪
Chorus: ♪ We make! ♪
Tui: ♪ We joke and we weave our baskets. The fishermen come back from the sea. ♪
Toddler Moana: ♪ I wanna see. ♪
Tui: ♪ Don’t walk away. Moana, stay on the ground now. Our people will need a chief, and there you are. ♪
Chorus: ♪ There you are! ♪
Tui: ♪ There comes a day, when you’re gonna look around. And realize happiness is. ♪
Chorus: ♪ Where you are! ♪
Tui: ♪ Consider the coconut! ♪
All: ♪ The what! ♪
Tui: ♪ Consider its tree! ♪
All: ♪ We use each part of the coconut, it’s all we need. ♪
Sina: ♪ We make our nests from the fibers, the water is sweet inside. We use the leaves to build fires. We cook up the meat inside. ♪
Tui: ♪ Consider the coconuts. The trunks and the leaves! ♪
All: ♪ The island gives us what we need. ♪
Moana: ♪ And no one leaves. ♪
Tui: ♪ That’s right, we stay. We’re safe we’re well-provided. And when we look to the future. ♪
All: ♪ There you are! ♪
Tui: ♪ You’ll be OK. In time you’ll learn just as I did. ♪
All: ♪ You must find happiness right where you are. ♪
[giggling]
Gramma: ♪ I like to dance with the water, the undertow and the waves, the water is mischevious. Ha! I like it how it misbehaves. The village may think I’m crazy, or say that I drift too far. But once you know what you like. Well, there you are. You are your father’s daughter, stubbornness and pride. Mind what he says to remember. You may hear a voice inside. And if the voice starts to whisper, to follow the farthest star. Moana, that voice inside is who you are. ♪
Tui: Uh-huh.
Moana: Dad! I was only looking at the boats. I wasn’t gonna get on ’em.
Gramma: Mmm.
Tui: [sighs] Come on. There’s something I need to show you. I’ve wanted to bring you here from the moment you opened your eyes. This is a sacred place. A place of Chiefs. That will come a time when you will stand on this peak and place a stone on this mountain. Like I did. Like my father did. And his father, and every chief that has ever been. And on that day, when you add your stone, you will raise this whole island together. You are the future of our people, Moana. And they are not out there. They are right here. It’s time to be who they need you to be.
All: ♪ We make our nets from the fibers! We weave our nets from the fibers! The water is sweet inside! A real tasty treat inside! We use the leaves to build fires! We sing these songs in our choirs! We use the leaves to build fires! We sing these songs in our choirs! The village believes in us! The village believes! The island gives us what we need! ♪
Tui: ♪ And no one leaves! ♪
Moana: ♪ So here I’ll stay! My home, my people beside me, and when I think of tomorrow. ♪
All: ♪ There we are! ♪
Moana: ♪ I’ll lead the way! I’ll have my people to guide me, we’ll build our future together!♪
All: ♪ Where we are! ♪
Moana: ♪ ‘Cause every path leads ya back to! ♪
All: ♪ Where you are! ♪
Moana: ♪ You can find happiness right! ♪
All: ♪ Where you are! Where you are! ♪
[water dripping]
Villager 1: And every storm, this roof leaks, no matter how many fromds I had.
Moana: Fixed! Not the fronds. [grunting] Wind shifted the post.
Villager 1: Ah!
Moana: Mmm! That’s good pork!
[Pua grunting]
[whimpering]
Moana: Oh! I didn’t mean… I wasn’t… [clears throat] what? They’re calling me, so I gotta… Bye!
[tapping]
Villager: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Moana: You’re doing great.
Villager: Is it done yet? [continues screaming]
[tapping]
Moana: So close.
[yelping]
[drum beats playing]
Villager 3: I’m curious about that chicken eating the rock. He seems to lack the basic intelligence required for pretty much everything. Should we maybe just cook him?
Moana: Sometimes our strengths lie beneath the surface. Far beneath in some cases. But I’m sure there’s more to Heihei than meets the eye.
[Heihei cawing]
[pecking]
Villager 2: It’s the harvest. This morning, I was husking the coconuts and…
Moana: Well, we should clear the diseased trees and we will start a new grove. There.
Villager 2: Thanks, Moana. She’s doing great.
Tui: This suits you.
Fisherman: Chief? [panting] There’s something you need to see. Our traps in the east lagoon, they’re pulling up less and less fish.
Moana: Then we’ll rotate the fishing grounds.
Fisherman: Uh, we have. There’s no fish.
Moana: Oh. Then we’ll fish the far side of the island.
Fisherman: We tried.
Moana: The windward side.
Fisherman: And the leeward side, the shallows, the channel. We’ve tried the whole lagoon. They’re just gone.
Tui: Have you tried using a different bait?
Fisherman: I don’t think it’s the bait. There’s no fish. It seems like it’s getting worse and worse.
Tui: Of course, I understand you have reason for concern. I will talk to the council. I’m sure we…
Moana: What if we fish beyond the reef?
Tui: No one goes beyond the reef.
Moana: I know. But if there are no fish in the lagoon…
Tui: Moana.
Moana: And there’s a whole ocean.
Tui: We have one rule.
Moana: An old rule, when there were fish.
Tui: A rule that keeps us safe…
Moana: But Dad, I…
Tui: …instead of endangering our people so you can run right back to the water.
[gasps]
[exhales]
[huffing]
Tui: Every time I think you’re past this… No one goes beyond the reef!
[grunts]
Sina: Well, it’s not like you said it in front of your dad. Standing on a boat.
Moana: I didn’t say go beyond the reef, because I want to be on the ocean.
Sina: But you still do.
[Moana sighs]
Sina: He’s hard on you because…
Moana: Because he doesn’t get me.
Sina: Because he was you. Drawn to the ocean. Down by the shore. He took a canoe, Moana. He crossed the reef…
[thunder rumbling]
Sina: …and found an unforgiving sea. Waves like mountains. His best friend begged to be on that boat. Your dad couldn’t save him.
[yelling]
Sina: He’s hoping he can save you. Sometimes who we wish we were, what we wish we could do, it’s just not meant to be.
[♪ Auli’l Cravalho: How Far I’ll Go]
Moana: ♪ I’ve been staring at the edge of the water. Long as I can remember. Never really knowing why. I wish I could be the perfect daughter, but I come back to the water. No matter how hard I try. Every turn I take, every trail I track, every path I make, every road leads back, to the place I know where I cannot go where I long to be. See the line where the sky meets the sea, it calls me. And no one knows, how far it goes. If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me. One day I’ll know. If I go, there’s just no telling, how far I’ll go. I know everybody on this island seems so happy on this island. Everything is by design ♪
[squeals]
Moana: ♪ I know everybody on this island has a role on this island, so maybe I can roll with mine. I can lead witn pride, I can make us strong, I’ll be satisfied, if I play along, but the voice inside, sings a different song, what is wrong with me? See the light as it shines on the sea, it’s blinding. But no one knows! How deep it goes! And it seems like it’s calling out to me, so come find me! And let me know! What’s beyond that line? Will I cross that line? The line where the sky meets the sea, it calls me! And no one knows, how far it goes! If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me, one day I’ll know! How far I’ll go! ♪ Whoa.
[splashing]
[breathes deeply]
[Pua grunts]
Moana: We’re OK, Pua. I can do this. [exhales] There’s more fish beyond the reef. There’s more beyond the reef.
[wind gushing]
[Pua squealing]
[grunts]
[splash]
Moana: Not so bad.
[wind whooshing]
[gasps]
[waves rumbling]
[grunting]
[Pua squealing frantically]
Moana: [gasps] Pua!
[waves rumbling]
[screaming]
[squealing]
[coughing]
[thud]
[gasping]
[grunting]
[gasping]
[coughing]
[Pua squealing]
[thud]
[Pua squealing]
[winces]
Gramma: Whatever just happened, blame it on the pig.
Moana: Gramma.
[winces]
Moana: Are you gonna tell Dad?
Gramma: I’m his mom. I don’t have to tell him anything.
Moana: He was right. About going out there. It’s time to put my stone on the mountain.
Gramma: OK. Well, then, head on back. Put that stone up there.
Moana: Why aren’t you trying to talk me out of it?
Gramma: You said that’s what you wanted. [Gramma humming]
Moana: It is.
Gramma: [Gramma humming] When I die, I’m going to come back as one of these. Or I chose the wrong tattoo.
Moana: Why are you acting weird?
Gramma: I’m the village crazy lady. That’s my job
Moana: If there’s something you want to tell me, just tell me! [nervously] Is there something you wanna tell me?
Gramma: Is there something you want to hear?
Moana: Oh… [panting]
Gramma: You’ve been told all our people’s stories but one. [chuckles]
Moana: What is this place?
Gramma: Do you really think our ancestors stayed within the reef?
[rumbling]
[grunting]
[gasps]
[wind whooshing]
Gramma: Ooh!
Moana: What’s in there?
Gramma: The answer to the question you keep asking yourself. Who are you meant to be? Go inside, bang the drum, and find out.
[water gushing]
Moana: [gasps] Whoa. Oh. [chuckles]
[water gushing]
[creaking]
[chanting in foreign language]
Moana: [echoing faintly] Bang the drum.
[drum beat echoing]
[drum beat echoing]
[drum beat echoing]
[gasps]
[drum beating]
[yelps]
[ethereal voices chanting]
[music starts playing]
[singing in foreign language]
Villager: ♪ We read the wind and the sky when the sun is high! We sail the length of the seas on the ocean breeze! At night we name every star we know where we are! We know who we are! Who we are! We set a course to find! A brand new island everywhere we roam! We keep our island in our mind! And when it’s time to find home, we know the way! We are explorers reading every sign! We tell the stories of our elders in a never-ending chain! We know the way! ♪
[music stops]
Moana: [gasps] We were voyagers. We were voyagers! We were voyagers! We were voyagers! We were voyagers! Why’d we stop?
Gramma: Maui. When he stole from the Mother Island, darkness fell. Te Kâ awoke. Monsters lurked and boats stopped coming back. To protect our people, the ancient chiefs forbid voyaging. And now we have forgotton who we are. And the darkness has continued to spread, chasing away ouf fish, draining the life from island after island.
Moana: Our island.
Gramma: But, one day, someone will journey beyond our reef, find Maui, deliever him across the great ocean to restore the heart of Te Fiti. I was there that day. The ocean chose you.
[chanting in foreign language]
Moana: I thought it was a dream.
[splashing]
[yelps]
Gramma: Nope! Our ancestors believed Maui lies there, at the bottom of this hook. Follow it, and you will find him.
Moana: But why would it choose me? I don’t even know how to make it past the reef. But I know who does!
[grunts]
[breathes deeply]
Villager 1: The crops are turning black.
Villager 2: What about the fish?
Villager 3: This is happening all over the island.
Tui’: Please, please, settle down.
Villager 1: What are you going to do?
Tui: We will dig new fields. We will find a way to–
Moana: We can stop the darkness! Save our island! There’s a carvern of boats. Huge canoes. We can take them, find Maui, make him restore the heart. We were voyagers! We can voyage again! You told me to help our people. This is how we help our people. Dad? What are you doing?
Tui: I should’ve burned those boats a long time ago!
Moana: No! Don’t! We have to find Maui. We have to restore the heart!
Tui: There is no heart! This– This is just a rock!
Moana: No! [breathing rapidly]
[horn blowing]
Villager 1: Chief! It’s your mother!
[gasps]
[breathing rapidly]
[gasps]
Tui: Mother… [sighs] What can be done?
[villagers talking indistinctly]
Gramma: [weakly] Go.
Moana: Gramma…
Gramma: Go.
Moana: Not now. I can’t.
Gramma: You must! The ocean chose you. Follow the fish hook.
Moana: Gramma…
Gramma: And when you find Maui, you grab him by the ear. You say, “I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the sea, and restore the heart of Te Fiti.”
Moana: [voice breaking] I- I can’t leave you.
Gramma: There is nowhere you could go that I won’t be with you.
[whimpering]
[breathing heavily]
Gramma: Go!
[faint chanting in foreign language]
Moana: ♪ There’s a line where the sky meets the sea and it calls me! But no one knows how far it goes! All that time wondering where I need to be is behind me! I’m on my own to worlds unknown! Every turn I take, every trail I track, is a choice I make, now I can’t turn back for the great unknown, where I go alone where I long to be! See her light up the night in the sea she calls me! And yes, I know that I can go! There’s a moon in the sky and the wind is behind me! Soon I’ll know how far I’ll go! ♪ [grunting]
[splashing]
Moana: [breathing heavily] I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the sea and restore the heart of Te Fiti. [grunting] I am Moana…
[thudding]
Moana: of Motu–
[thudding continues]
Moana: …nui.
[thudding continues]
[thud]
[yelps]
Moana: Heihei?
[Heihei clucking]
[cawing loudly]
[cawing stops]
[cawing loudly]
[cawing stops]
[caws and stops again]
Moana: It’s OK. You’re all right. See? There we go. Nice water. The ocean is a friend of mine.
[clucking]
[splash]
Moana: Heihei?
[muffled clucking]
Moana: Heihei!
[cawing]
[gasps]
[yelling]
[yelling]
[clucking]
Moana: Stay.
[thud]
[clucking]
Moana: OK. Next stop, Maui.
[fluttering]
[gasps]
[grunting]
[creaking]
Moana: I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat… [grunts] …sail across the sea, and restore the heart of Te Fiti.
[Heihei clucking]
Moana: [mumbling] I am Moana of Motu… [snoring]
[whack]
Moana: Board my boat! [breathing heavily] Oh, no. [groaning in frustration]
[splashing]
Moana: No, no, no! [yelling]
[splashing]
[gasping]
[clucking]
Moana: Ocean, can I get a little help?
[thunder rumbling]
[lightning crackling]
Moana: No, no. Please. Come on! [choking]
[rain falling]
[yelling]
[thunder rumbling]
Moana: Help me! Please!
[thunder rumbling]
[screams]
[thunder rumbling]
[waves splashing]
[clucking]
[caws in alarm]
[thud]
[Heihei cawing]
[gags and coughs]
Moana: [gasps] Whew! Um… [yelling] What? I said help me. And wrecking my boat? Not helping. Fish pee in you all day! So… [grunting]
[Heihei clucking]
[thudding]
[clucking]
Moana: What… [gasps] Maui?
[splashing]
[stomping]
Moana: [gasps] Maui!
[cawing]
Moana: Maui, demigod of the wind and sea, I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat. No. You will board my boat. Yeah. I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my…
Maui: Boat! A boat! The gods have given me a… [screaming]
[groaning]
[Moana clears throat]
Maui: Hmm?
[creaking]
Moana: Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea, I am Moana of…
Maui: Hero of men.
Moana: What?
Maui: It’s actually, Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea, hero of men. I interrupted. From the top. Hero of men. Go.
Moana: I am…
Maui: Sorry, sorry, sorry. And women. Men and women. Both. All. Not a guy, girl thing. You know, Maui is a hero to all. You’re doing great. [clicks tongue]
Moana: What? No! I’m here to…
Maui: Of course. Yes, yes, yes. Maui always has time for his fans. [Maui humming]
[Heihei clucking]
Maui: When you use a bird to write with, it’s called tweeting.
[cawing]
Maui: [chuckles] I know, not every day you get a chance to meet your hero.
[whacking]
[groaning]
Moana: You are not my hero. And I’m not here so you can sign my oar! I’m here ’cause you stole the heart of Te Fiti! And you will board my boat, and sail across the sea and put it back!
Maui: Um… Yeah, it almost sounded like you don’t like me which is impossible beacause I got stuck here for a thousand years trying to get the heart as a gift for you mortals. So you could have the power to create life itself. Yeah. So, what I believe you were trying to say is “Thank you.”
Moana: “Thank you?”
Maui: You’re welcome.
Moana: What? No, no, no! I didn’t… I wasn’t… Why would I ever say that? I mean…
Maui: [chuckles] OK, OK.
[♪ Dwayne Johnson: You’re Welcome]
Maui: ♪ I see what’s happening, yeah. You’re face to face with greatness and it’s strange. You don’t even know how you feel. It’s adorable. Well it’s nice to see that humans never change. Open your eyes, let’s begin. Yes, it’s really me. It’s Maui, breathe it in. I know it’s a lot, the hair, the bod! When you’re staring at a demigod! What can I say except you’re welcome! For the tides, the sun, the sky! Hey, it’s OK, it’s OK, you’re welcome! I’m just an ordinary demiguy! Hey! What has two thumbs and pulled up the sky? When you were wadding yay high? This guy! When the night gets cold, who stole you fire from down below? You’re looking at him, yo! Oh, also I lassoed the sun. You’re welcome! To stretch your days and bring you fun! Also I harnessed the breeze, you’re welcome! To fill your sails and shake your trees. So what can I say except you’re welcome! For the islands I pulled from the sea! There’s no need to pray it’s OK, you’re welcome! Ha! I guess it’s just my way of being me! You’re welcome! You’re welcome! Well, come to think of it! Kid, honestly I could go on and on I could explain every natural phenomenon! The tide, the grass, the ground! Oh that was Maui just messing around! I killed an eel, I buried its guts, sprouted a tree now you got coconuts! What’s the lesson? What is the take away? Don’t mess with Maui when he’s on a breakaway! And the tapestry here on my skin, is a map of the victories I win! Look where I’ve been I make everything happen! Look at that Mean Mini-Maui just tickety tappin’! Ha ha ha ha ha ha hey! Well anyway let me say you’re welcome! ♪
Chorus: ♪ You’re welcome! ♪
Maui: ♪ For the wonderful world you know! Hey, it’s OK, it’s OK, you’re welcome! ♪
Chorus: ♪ You’re welcome! ♪
Maui: ♪ Well come to think of it, I gotta go! Hey it’s your day to say you’re welcome! ♪
Chorus: ♪ You’re welcome! ♪
Maui: ♪ ‘Cause I’m gonna need that boat! I’m sailing away away, you’re welcome! ♪
Chorus: ♪ You’re welcome! ♪
Maui: ♪ ‘Cause Maui can do everything but float! You’re welcome! ♪
Chorus: ♪ You’re welcome! ♪
Maui: ♪ You’re welcome! ♪
Moana: Huh?
Maui: And thank you!
[thud]
Moana: [yelling] Hey! Let me out! You lying, slimy son of a…
Maui: [humming] ♪ You’re welcome. ♪ [laughs] ♪ You’re so welcome. ♪ [humming]
[creaking]
[whack]
Maui: [yelps] No. I’m not going to Te Fiti with some kid. I’m going to get my hook. You have yours and I’m not Maui without me. OK, talk to the back. [humming]
[squawking]
Maui: Boat snack.
[screaming]
Moana: [yelps] [grunts] [breathing rapidly] Eh?
[wind whooshing]
[grunting]
[rumbling]
[thud]
Maui: Good riddance, you filthy pile of pebbles. Oh, no, no, no. Don’t look at me like that. It’s a beautiful cave. She’s gonna love it. And I’m going to love you in ma belly. Now, let’s fatten you up, drumstick.
[clucking]
[grunting]
[screaming]
[splashing]
Maui: I could watch that all day. OK. Enjoy the island. Maui, out.
Moana: No! Stop! Hey! You have to put back the heart! [coughing] [exclaims]
[splashing]
[clucks]
Maui: Did not see that coming.
[whack]
Moana: I am Moana of Motunui. This is my canoe and you will journey to– [yelps]
[splash]
Maui: All right, get over it. We gotta move.
[splash]
Maui: And she’s back.
Moana: I am Moana of Motunui… [yelps]
[splash]
[splash]
Maui: [sighs] It was Moana, right?
Moana: Yes. And you will restore the heart! [shouts]
[splash]
[sighs]
[whack]
[thud]
Maui: All right. I’m out.
[splash]
[thud]
Moana: Oh, come on!
[splashing]
[spitting]
Moana: What is your problem? Are you afraid of it?
Maui: No! No. [chuckles nervously] I’m not afraid.
[teeth chattering]
Maui: Stay out of it or you’re sleeping in my armpit. You, stop it. That is not a heart. It is a curse. The second I took it, I got blasted outta the sky and I lost my hook. Get it away from me.
Moana: Get this away?
Maui: Hey, hey, hey! I’m a demigod, OK? Stop that. I will smite you! You wanna get smote? Smotten? [grunting] Listen, that thing doesn’t give you power to create life, it’s a homing beacon of death. If you don’t put it away, bad things are gonna come for it.
Moana: Come for this? The heart? You mean this heart right here?
Maui: Don’t, you can’t raise your voice like that!
Moana: Come and get it!
Maui: [Maui shushing] You are gonna get us killed!
Moana: No, I’m gonna get us to Te Fiti, so you can put it back. Thank you. You’re welcome.
[arrow whooshing by]
[Heihei cawing]
Moana: Huh?
[clucking]
Maui: Kakamora.
Moana: Kaka-what?
Maui: Murdering little pirates. Wonder what they’re here for.
[popping]
Moana: They’re kinda cute.
[beating the drums]
Moana: Ocean! Do something! Help us!
Maui: The ocean doesn’t help you, you help yourself! Tighten the halyard. Bind the stays! You can’t sail?
Moana: I, uh… I am self-taught.
[drums beating loudly]
[growling]
Moana: Can’t you shapeshift or something?
Maui: Do you see my hook? No magic hook, no magic powers!
[gasping]
[yelps]
[clucking]
Maui: Whoa!
[clucking]
[grunting]
[rhythmic drumbeats]
Moana: Their boat is turning into more boats!
[horn blowing]
[horn blowing]
[grunting]
[splash]
Moana: Yep, I just did that.
[thud]
[yelling]
[thunk]
[yelps]
[grunting]
[clucks]
Moana: No, no! Heihei!
[clucks]
[thud]
[grunting]
[grunting]
Moana: Maui! They took the heart!
[muffled cawing]
Maui: That’s a chicken.
Moana: The heart is in the… [frustrated grunting] We have to get him back! [yelling] Maui!
Maui: Cheeeehoooo!
[creaking]
[grunting]
[drumbeats]
[cheering]
Moana: There! Right there! You’re turning? What are you doing?
Maui: Uh, escaping!
Moana: The heart.
Maui: Forget it! You’ll never get it back! Besides, you got a better one. Hey! What am I gonna steer with? They’re just gonna kill ya.
Moana: Coconuts.
[screeching]
[thud]
[grunting]
[clucking]
[grunts]
[thud]
[grunting]
[thud]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[groans]
[clucks]
Moana: Got it!
[growling]
Moana: Hey!
[grunting]
[crashing]
Moana: Yeah! [screams with excitement] We did it! [Moana laughing]
Maui: Congratulations on not being dead, girlie. You surprise me. But I’m still not taking that thing back. You wanna get to Te Fiti you gotta go through a whole ocean of bad. Not to mention Te Kâ. Lava monster? Ever defeat a lava monster?
Moana: No. Have you?
Maui: [grunts] [grunts] I’m not going on a suicide mission with some mortal. You can’t restore that heart without me and me says no.
[Heihei clucks]
Maui: I’m getting my hook. End of discussion.
[sighs]
Moana: You’d be a hero. That’s what you’re all about, right?
Maui: Little girl, I am a hero.
Moana: Maybe you were. But now, now you’re just the guy who stole the heart of Te Fiti. The guy who cursed the world. You’re no one’s hero.
Maui: [scoffs] No one?
[clucks]
[ocean rumbling]
Moana: But… put this back, save the world, you’d be everyone’s hero.
[heartbeats]
[whispered cheering]
Moana: [Moana whispering] Maui! Maui! Maui! You’re so amazing!
Maui: We’d never make it without my hook. Not past Te Kâ.
Moana: Then we get your hook. We get your hook, take out Te Kâ, restore the heart. Unless you don’t wanna be Maui, demigod of the wind and sea. Hero to all?
Maui: First, we get my hook.
Moana: Then save the world. Deal?
Maui: Deal?
[yelps]
[splash]
Maui: Worth a shot. OK, we go east. To the lair of Tamatoa. If anyone has my hook, it’s that beady-eyed bottom-feeder.
[grunts]
[splashing]
Moana: Teach me to sail.
[blows raspberry]
Moana: My job is to delieve Maui across the great ocean. I should… [grunts] I should be sailing.
Maui: It’s called wayfinding, princess. And it’s not just sails and knots, it’s seeing where you’re going in your mind. Knowing where you are by knowing where you’ve been.
Moana: OK, first, I’m not a princess. I am the daughter of the chief.
Maui: Same difference.
Moana: No.
Maui: If you wear a dress, and you have an animao sidekick, you’re a princess. You are not a wayfinder. You will never be a wayfinder, you will never be a… [winces] [groans]
[thud]
Maui: Really? Blow dart in my butt cheek?
[thud]
Maui: You are a bad person.
Moana: If you can talk, you can teach. Wayfinding. [grunting] Lesson one. Hit it.
Maui: [groans] Pull the sheet. Not the sheet. No. Nope. Nope. No. Tried that one already. You’re measuring the stars, not giving the sky a high-five. If the current’s warm, you’re going the right way.
Moana: It’s cold. Wait, it’s getting warmer. [gasps] Aah! That is disgusting! What is wrong with you?
[Maui chuckles]
[thud]
Moana: [groans] [gasps] We’re here? See, told you I could do it! Motunui? I’m home?
Tui: Moana!
Moana: Dad?
Sina: Moana!
[rumbling]
Moana: Mom?
Tui: Help!
Moana: No!
Tui: Moana!
[gasps]
Maui: Enjoy your beauty rest? You know, a real wayfinder never sleeps, so they actually get where they need to go.
[gasps]
Maui: Muscle up, buttercup. We’re here.
Moana: You’re sure this guy’s gonna have your hook?
Maui: Tamatoa? Oh, he’ll have it. He’s a scavenger. Collects stuff. Think it makes him look cool. Ah! And for Tamatoa, trust me, my hook is the coolest collectible.
[clucking]
Moana: And he lives up there?
[bird screeching]
Maui: [Maui chuckles] No, no, no. That’s just the entrance, to, um, Lalotai.
Moana: [gasps] Lalotai? [loudly] Realm of monsters? [clears her throat] We’re going to the realm of monsters?
Maui: [chuckles] We? No. Me. You are gonna stay here with the other chicken. [clucking]
[Heihei clucking]
Maui: [Maui laughing] That’s what I’m talking about. Gimmie some. Come on. That was a good one. How do you not get it? I called her a chicken, there’s a chicken on the boat. I know she’s human, but that’s not the… You know what? Forget it. Forget it! I’m not explaining it to you. ‘Cause the it’s not funny.
[clucking]
[squawking]
Maui: [grunting] Hmm?
[Moana grunting]
[groans]
Maui: So, daughter of the Chief, I thought you stayed in the village. You know, kissing babies and things. Hey, I’m just trying to understand why your people decided to send… How do I phrase this? You.
Moana: My people didn’t send me. The ocean did.
Maui: The ocean? Makes sense. You’re what, eight? Can’t sail. Obvious choice.
Moana: It chose me for a reason.
Maui: If the ocean’s so smart, why didn’t it just take the heart back to Te Fiti itself? Or bring me my hook? The ocean’s straight up hooky-dooks. But I’m sure it’s not wrong about you. You’re the Chosen One!
Moana: [grunts] [gasps] The ocean chose you for a reason.
Maui: If you start singing, I’m gonna throw up.
Moana: So, not seeing an enterance.
Maui: Yes, because it only appears after a human sacrifice.
[gasps]
Maui: Kidding. [laughs] So serious. [blowing]
[whooshing]
[coughing]
[shouting in foreign language]
[thud]
[creaking]
[gasping]
[gasping]
Maui: Don’t worry, it’s a lot farther down than it looks. Cheeeehoooo! I am still falling!
[water splashes]
Moana: You can do this. Go!
[thud]
[splashing]
[splashing]
[grunts]
[thud]
Maui: And he sticks the landing. Huh? What? Dum-dum, she’s not even here. No mortal’s gonna jump into the realm of… Huh?
[whack]
[thud]
[yelps]
[grunting]
Maui: Well, she’s dead. OK, let’s get my hook.
[gurgling]
[screaming]
[crunch]
[yelps]
[thud]
Moana: Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew. [panting] [yelps]
[monsters screeching]
[screeching]
[gasps]
[screeching]
[panting]
[gasps]
[creature growling]
[shouts]
[growling]
Moana: [yelps] Maui’s fishhook!
Maui: Yeah!
[whack]
Moana: [gasps] Sorry! I thought you were a monster… But I found your hook. And, you’re right, this Tamatoa guy really likes his treasure.
Maui: Stay.
Moana: What? No. I’m the one who found…
Maui: Listen. For a thousand years, I’ve only been thinking of keeping this hair silky, getting my hook and being awesome again. And it’s not getting screwed up by a mortal who has no business inside of a monster cave, except… Except maybe as bait.
Moana: Huh?
[drumbeat]
Moana: Wow! The shiny, glittery cave. And just like me it is covered in sparkly treasure. Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle.
Maui: You’re not selling it!
Moana: [whispers] This is stupid! I’m just gonna walk up and get it!
Maui: You go up there, he will kill you. Just stick to the plan.
[beating the makeshift drum]
Maui: Oh, when he shows up, keep him distracted. Make him talk about himself. He loves bragging about how great he is.
Moana: You two must get along swell.
Maui: No, not since I ripped off his leg.
Moana: You ripped off his… Maui?
[rumbling]
[gasping]
[screaming]
Tamatoa: [laughing] What have we here?
[gasping]
Tamatoa: It’s a sparkly, shiny… Wait a minute.
[yelps]
Tamatoa: Ugh! It’s a human! What are you doing down here, in the realm of the mons– Just pick an eye, babe. I can’t– I can’t concentrate on what I’m saying if you keep… Yeah, pick one, pick one! You’re a funny funny-looking little thing, aren’t you?
Moana: Don’t! That’s my gramma’s!
Tamatoa: [in mocking voice] “That’s my gramma’s!” I ate my Gramma! And it took a week, ’cause she was absolutely humongous! Why are you here?
[grunting]
Moana: ‘Cause you’re amazing! And we mortals have heard of the tale of the crab who became a legend! And I just had to know how you became so crabulous?
Tamatoa: Are you just trying to get me to talk about myself? Because if you are, I will gladly do so!
Moana: Huh?
Tamatoa: In song form!
[♪ Jamie Clement: Shiny]
Tamatoa: ♪ Well, Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam, I was a drab little crab once. Now I know I can be happy as a clam. Because I’m beautiful, baby. And did you granny say listen to your heart. Be you are on the inside. I need three words to tear her argument apart your granny lied! I’d rather be shiny! Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck! Scrub the deck! And make it look shiny! I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck! Just a sec! Don’t ya know. Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb they chase anything that glitters, beginners. Oh, and here they come, come, come to the brightest thing that glitters! Mm, fish dinners! I just love free food, and you look like seafood! ♪
Moana: No!
Maui: Hey, crab cake! I’m back. It’s Maui Time!
[gasps]
Maui: What do you say, little buddy?
[screeching]
Maui: Giant hawk? Coming up! Cheeeehoooo! Cheeeehoooo!
[zapping]
[gasps]
Tamatoa: ♪ Well, well, well. Little Maui’s having trouble with his look, ya little semi-demi-mini-god. Ouch! What a terrible performance! Get the hook, get it? You don’t swing it like you used to, man. Yet I have to give you credit for my start! And your tattoos on the outside for just like you I made myself a work of art! I’ll never hide! I can’t, I’m too shiny! Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough! Strut my stuff! My stuff is too shiny! Send your armies, but they’ll never be enough! My shell’s too tough, Maui, man! You can try, try, try, but you can’t expect a demigod. To beat a decapod. Look it up. You will die, die, die, now it’s time for me to take apart, your achin’ heart. Far from the ones who abandoned you chasing the love of these humans who made you feel wanted. You tried to be tough, but your armor’s just not hard enough! Maui! Now it’s time to kick your heinie! Ever see someone so shiny! Soak it in, ’cause it’s the last you’ll ever see! C’est la vie mon ami! I’m so shiny! Now I eat you so prepare your final plea, just for me! You’ll never be quite as shiny, you wish you were nice and shiny! ♪
[grunting]
Moana: Hey!
Maui: Huh?
Moana: I got something shiny for ya!
[spitting]
[grunting]
Tamatoa: The heart of Te Fiti. You can’t run from me! Oh, you can. You keep surprising me.
[grunting]
Tamatoa: There’s only so far you can get on those two little legs!
[yells]
Tamatoa: [laughing] The power of creation for a crustacean! Where is it? Where is it?
Moana: We gotta go!
Maui: What about the heart?
Moana: He can have it. I’ve got a better one.
Tamatoa: [laughing] Yes, I have the… Wait a minute. Argh! I see, she’s taken a barnacle and she’s covered it in bioluminescent algae as a diversion. [shattering]
[grunting]
[rumbling]
Tamatoa: Come back here!
[grunting]
[growling]
[splashing]
[thud]
Maui: Cheeeehoooo!
Tamatoa: Hey! Hey! Did you like the song?
[both yelling]
[zapping]
[screaming]
[thudding]
Moana: We’re alive! We’re alive! [gasps]
Maui: Listen, I appreciate what you did down there.
Moana: Mm-hmm.
Maui: Took guts.
Moana: Mm-hmm.
Maui: But…
Moana: Mm-hmm.
Maui: I’m sorry. I’m trying to be sincere for once, and it feels like you’re distracted.
Moana: No, no. [blowing raspberrry] No way!
Maui: Really? Because you’re looking at me like I have a… [gasps] [sighs] …shark head.
Moana: [chuckles] What? Do you have a shark head?
Maui: Look, the point is for a little girl, child, thing, whatever, who had no business being down there, you did me a solid. But you also almost died. And I couldn’t even beat that dumb crab. So, chances of beating Te Kâ? Bupkis. We’re never making it to Te Fiti. This mission is cursed.
Moana: It’s not cursed.
Maui: Shark head.
Moana: [grunting] It is not cursed.
[zapping]
[groans]
[zapping]
[chuckles]
[thud]
Maui: [groans] Cursed.
[grunts]
Maui: ♪ What can I say except we’re dead soon. We’re dead soon. ♪
Moana: Can you at least try?
Maui: Giant hawk.
[zapping]
[thud]
Maui: ♪ Hey, it’s OK, it’s OK, we’re dead soon. ♪
Moana: All right, break time’s over. Get up.
Maui: Why? Are you gonna give me a speech? Tell me I can beat Te Kâ ’cause I’m “Maui?” Take a hike, Tiny.
Moana: How do you get your tattoos?
Maui: They show up. When I earn them.
Moana: How’d you earn that one? What’s that for?
Maui: That’s man’s discovery of Nunya.
Moana: What’s Nunya?
Maui: Nunya business.
[tapping]
Moana: I’ll just keep asking.
[tapping]
Moana: What’s it for?
Maui: You need to stop doing that.
[tapping]
Maui: Back off.
Moana: Just tell me what it is.
Maui: I said back off.
Moana: Is it why your hook’s not working?
[grunting]
[splashing]
Moana: [gasps] You don’t want to talk, don’t talk. You wanna throw me off the boat, throw me off. You wanna tell me I don’t know what I’m doing, I know I don’t. I have no idea why the ocean chose me. You’re right. But my island is dying, so I am here. It’s just me and you. And I want to help but I can’t, if you don’t let me. [sighs]
Maui: I wasn’t born a demigod. I had human parents. They, uh… They took one look and decided they don’t want me. They threw me into the sea, like I was… nothing. Somehow, I was found by the gods. They gave me the hook. They made me Maui. And back to the humans I went. I gave them islands, fire, coconuts. [chuckles] Anything they could ever want.
Moana: You took the heart for them. You did everything for them. So they’d love you.
Maui: It was… never enough.
Moana: Maybe the gods found you for a reason. Maybe the ocean brought you to them because it saw someone who worthly of being saved. But the gods aren’t the ones who make you Maui. You are.
Maui: Hmm? OK, OK. [chuckles] I love you, too, buddy.
[upbeat chanting]
[singing in foreign language]
[zapping]
[singing continues]
[zapping]
[clucking]
[splashing]
[gasps]
[chuckles]
[zapping]
[splashing]
[zapping]
[splashing]
Maui: Cheeeehoooo!
[singing continues]
[zapping]
[rumbling]
[screeching]
Moana: Yeah!
[zapping]
Moana: Hmm?
[splashing]
[laughing]
[both chuckle]
[splash]
Moana: Next stop, Te Fiti.
[singing continues]
[singing fades]
Moana: What?
Maui: I figured it out. You know, the ocean used to love when I pulled up islands ’cause your ancestors would sail her seas and find ’em. All those new lands, new villages. It was the water that connected ’em all. And if I were the ocean, I think I’d be looking for a curly-haired non-princess to start that again.
Moana: That is literally the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Probably should have saved it for Te Fiti.
Maui: I did. Moana of Motunui, I believe you have officialy delivered Maui across the great sea. [imitating cheering in a low voice] [cheering in a low voice] Moana! Moana! Moana! You’re so amazing!
[chuckles]
Maui: It’s time.
[rumbling]
Moana: Go save the world.
Maui: Cheeeehoooo!
[zapping]
[screeching]
[rumbling]
[crackling]
[gasps]
[grunts]
[lightening crackling]
[gasps]
[roaring]
[groans]
Moana: [yells] Maui!
[grunts]
[whacks]
[groans]
[screaming]
[splashing]
[screaming]
[panting]
[rumbling]
Maui: What are you doing?
Moana: Finding you a better way in.
Maui: We won’t make it.
Moana: Yes, we will!
Maui: Turn around!
Moana: No!
Maui: Moana, stop!
Moana: No!
[growling]
[zapping]
[both screaming]
[gasps]
[Heihei clucks]
[groans]
Moana: Are you OK? Maui?
[crackling]
Maui: I told you to turn back.
Moana: I thought we could make it.
Maui: We?
Moana: I thought I could make it. We can fix it.
Maui: It was made by the gods. You can’t fix it!
Moana: Next time we’ll be more careful. Te Kâ was stuck on the barrier islands. It’s lava, it can’t go in water. We can find a way around.
Maui: I’m not going back.
Moana: We still have to restore the heart.
Maui: My hook is cracked. One more hit, and it’s over.
Moana: Maui, you have to restore the heart.
Maui: Without my hook, I am nothing.
Moana: That’s not true!
Maui: [yells] Without my hook, I am nothing!
[shuddering]
Moana: We‘re only here because you stole the heart in the first place.
Maui: No, we’re here because the ocean told you you’re special and you believed it.
Moana: [loudly] I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat…
Maui: Goodbye, Moana.
Moana: …sail scross the sea…
Maui: I’m not killing myself, so you can prove yourself you’re something you’re not!
Maui: …and restore the heart of Te Fiti! The ocean chose me!
Maui: They chose wrong.
[zapping]
[screeching]
Moana: Maui! Why did you bring me here? I’m not the right person. You have to choose someone else. Choose someone else. Please. [sobbing] [cries] [whispers] No.
Gramma: You’re a long ways past the reef.
Moana: Gramma?
Gramma: Guess I chose the right tattoo.
Moana: Gramma! I tried, Gramma. I couldn’t do it.
Gramma: It’s not your fault. I never should have put so much on your shoulders. If you are ready to go home, I will be with you. Why do you hesitate?
Moana: I don’t know.
Gramma: ♪ I know a girl from an island, she stands apart from the crowd. She loves the sea ane her people, she makes her whole family proud. Sometimes the world seems against you, the journey may leave a scar. But scars can heal and reveal just where you are. The people you love will change you the things you have learned will guide you. And nothing on earth can silence. The quiet voice still inside you. And when that voice starts to whisper, Moana, you’ve come so far. Moana, listen. Do you know who you are? ♪
Moana: ♪ Who am I? I am a girl who loves my island, and the girl who lives the sea, it calls me. I am the daughter of the village chief, we are descended from voyagers. Who found their way across the world. They call me! I’ve delivered to us where we are, I have journeyed farther! I am everything I’ve learned and more, still it calls me! And the call isn’t out there it all, it’s inside me! It’s like the tide, always falling and rising! I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me! That come what may, I know the way! I am Moana! ♪
[singing in foreign language]
[singing ends]
Moana: [gasping] [grunts] I am Moana of Motunui. Aboard my boat I will sail across the sea and restore the heart of Te Fiti.
[splashing]
Moana: Te Kâ can’t follow us into the water. We make it past the barrier islands, we make it to Te Fiti. None of which you understand, because you are a chicken.
[clucking]
[rumbling]
[roaring]
[grunting]
[screeches in pain]
[rumbling]
[splashing]
[grunting]
[growling]
[gasping]
[grunting]
[growling]
[rumbling]
[yelps]
[splashing]
Moana: No!
[clucks]
Moana: Heihei! No, no, no! Nice work!
[rumbling]
[splashing]
Moana: Te Fiti.
[roaring]
[screaming]
[splash]
[coughing]
[grunting]
[growling]
[yelps]
[eagle screeching]
[crackling]
Moana: Maui!
[zapping]
[grunting]
Moana: [Moana chuckles] You came back.
[chuckles]
Moana: But your hook. One more hit and…
Maui: Te Kâ’s gotta catch me first.
[Te Kâ roaring]
Maui: I got your back, Chosen One. Go save the world.
Moana: Maui. Thank you.
Maui: You’re welcome. Cheeeehoooo!
[zapping]
[growling]
[zapping]
[whale groans]
[screaming]
[crunching]
[zapping]
[grunting]
[growling]
Maui: Hot-hot-hot, hot-hot-hot! [screaming]
[zapping]
[growling]
[zapping]
[roaring]
[lightening crackling]
Maui: Hey, Te Kâ! Shark head!
[gasps]
Maui: Cheeeehoooo!
[screeching]
[groans]
[rumbling]
[roaring]
Maui: Moana!
[explosion]
[screams]
[gasping]
Maui: Get the heart to the spiral!
[rumbling]
[grunting]
[crackling]
[yelling]
[explosion]
[yelps]
[thud]
Moana: Te Fiti, it’s gone.
[growling]
Maui: Te Kâ! [shoting in foreign language]
[roaring]
Moana: Let her come to me.
[rumbling]
[roaring]
[singing in foreign language]
Moana: ♪ I have crossed the horizon to find you, I know your name. They have stolen the heart inside you, but this does not define you. This is not who you are, you know who you are. Who you truly are. ♪ Te Fiti!
[chanting in foreign language]
[gasps]
[Heihei screeching]
Maui: The chicken lives.
[clucking]
Moana: I’m sorry about your hook.
Maui: Well, hook, no hook, I’m Maui.
[rumbling]
[both gasp]
Maui: [gasps] Te Fiti! [laughing sheepishly] Hey, I mean, how you been? [clears throat] Look, what I did was wrong. I have no excuse. I’m sorry. [gasps] [muffled excitement]
Moana: You know, it’d be rude to refuse a gift from a goddess.
Maui: Cheeeehoooo! Thank you. Your kind gesture is deeply appreciated. Chehoo.
[zapping]
[rustling]
[clucking]
[thud]
Maui: Gonna miss you, drumstick.
Moana: You could come with us, you know. My people are going to need a master wayfinder.
Maui: They already have one.
Moana: [chuckles] See you out there, Maui.
Maui: See you out there, Moana.
[zapping]
Maui: Cheeeehoooo!
[gasps]
Moana: Mom! Dad!
Sina: Moana!
Moana: I may have gone a little ways past the reef.
Tui: [chuckles] It suits you.
Villager 1: She’s back!
Villager 2: Moana!
[Pua squealing]
Moana: Pua! Oh! [laughs]
Villager 1: Moana!
[clucking]
Villager 2: Welcome home!
[clucking]
[villagers cheering]
[singing in foreign language]
Villager: ♪ We set a course to find! A brand new island everywhere we roam! We keep our island in our mind! And when it’s time to find home, we know the way! We are explorers reading every sign! We tell the stories of our elders in a never-ending chain! We know the way! ♪
Tamatoa: ♪ Shiny. I’m so shiny. ♪ Didn’t help me though, did it? Still upside down here. Just need a little push. [groans] Can we be real? If my name was Sebastian and I had a cool Jamacian accent, you’d totally help me. You would. You know you would.
Okay but who the fuck asked?
What the actual fuck
Nyeh
Yo did my guy die from Corona,
Hold up
Ring ding ding ding ding da ding
Yo did my guy die from Corona,
Hold up
Ring ding ding ding ding da ding
Yo did my guy die from Corona,
Hold up
Ring ding ding ding ding da ding
Forever alone
Looking for a femboy, my kik is Angeel183610
Added. Be sure to check your kik when you’re drunk driving.
I’m looking for a femboy, my kik is Angeel183610
Watch mojo sucks
yo when did he say he coming back again ??
After Thanksgiving
Right after the black thugs bang your mom. She’s sucking all of the dicks for you.
Gold team rules binky rules meet binky
Caga caga
Ara ara
after the last drawing, I checked shadbase everyday for a past month then I kind of given up. I still check this webside every week tho … Shadman don’t leave me like that my boiiii I’m still a tru beliver of yours. I belive that some day you will come back with something awesome and renew hopes and wet dreams of your pepole …
biden 2020 baybee
the electoral votes dont lie! we’re winning this bitch
say “boipoussay” if you voted tramp
Kiss my ass bitch. Biden FTW MOTHERFUCKERS! Woo hoo! Let’s go!
Kik
I’m a bottom with a feminine ass and small dick.
Open to fetishes.
My kik is bottomcreamfun
all my homies hate biden
You need new homies
Hey send whatever you want anything taboo too I have no limits I’ll trade back with you. Billbill115 is my Kik name
Anyone got nice hands?
If you got a huge ass. Guy or girl kik me cumcannon21 only adults
Your computer has been trashed by the MEMZ trojan enjoy the Nyan Cat
Delete system32.
you know very well that christmas will pass and shad still wont have posted anything…
lets go Biden !!!!!!!!
my dude said on twitter that he is working on a project but man it was a journey seeing his artwork well i guess i gotta go see other artists as well
I feel like Shad is actually just Bret Kavanaugh.
Damn shad really dead huh? RIP the myth, that loli shit kinda fucked but the rest is S tier
The gang gets racist
shadbase you there? we passed halloween and you haven’t posted anything
we miss you
Shad has covid, cancer, and aids combined. He’ll come back when he’s dead.
RIP the Shad cum back
Jesus Christ this has just devolved even further
Biden 2020
Guy looking for fun. Kik finnay1217
Hey lads. NOT a horny individual seeking femboys LOL! anyone else come here occasionally just to see if shade has posted?
I check it once every week or so. Kinda giving up at this point :/
Any idea if he’s still around?
From what I’ve heard he’s taking a break…
Or he’s dead.
..
I think maybe someone gets him to change the sex
after the last drawing, I checked shadbase everyday for a past month then I kind of given up. I still check this webside every week tho … Shadman don’t leave me like that my boiiii I’m still a tru beliver of yours. I belive that some day you will come back with something awesome and renew hopes and wet dreams of your pepole …
send ass will send back Div0220 kik
Trump 2020.
Kys faggot n igger.
this a hook up site or sumthn hell…add me on discord мя.ℓσυℓσυ#6712
im a goddam male :v
I don’t even know what to put in this comment
Hermoso
16 yo looking to trade on snap with traps femboys and girls
My snap is domino5098
Is this some kind of hookup site now? lol. If so add me on kik: ratchat620
No limits, I prefer girls ;)
I can’t wait to see Disney’s collaboration with shad.
Roanoke sucks
I’m always horny, add me and tell me your fantasies or we can exchange pics, down for anything @bobthereaper55
4 months
Shad, are u ok dude? Months have passed since the last post
He’s doing paid work rn. Said he’ll be back in the winter.
Epic meal time
is really fucking gay! Learn how to close your sentences faggot.
Femboy looking for other femboys or girls kik is Benny0316
Femboy looking for booty pics from other femboys would send back kik- Benny0316
another one…
See how many comments we can get, lads. Nothing better to do with the free hand at this point.
Always horny. Send me stuff on kik finnay1217
Always horny guy. Send me stuff on kik finnay1217
Gvcyj
Is shad ok or actually dead this time?
Testing: do not respond to this post
Kiss my ass
7.5 inch 19 black, dm for anything kik tanks333
Another one
when were you when shad posted?
i was eating dorito when message popped up
>shad posted after 2 years
>N0
Loli TEAM 10 AND UNDER or Full Lesbian Rick and Morty comics please
Shad isn’t going to appease to your depraved ass you fucking schmuck.
Please bring Back LOLI TEAM 10 AND UNDER or Full Lesbian Rick and Morty comics
They look so damn good I can’t wait to see a hard cock being forced down their throats
bro?
need’a make the comments OVER 9000
Looking for some guys to dominate me… kik: RockyRick17
I tried adding you but it’s say you been off kik do you got a new account?
50 to 8250
450 to 8500
700 to 8750
950 to 9000
13 yo, just send me pictures of anything Kik: im13lol69
YOOO ur a child 💀
13 yo, just send me pictures of anything Kik: im13lol69
FBI OPEN UP!
34 yo Daddy looking for a Femboy, sissy or trap kik: simon86ae
34 yo Daddy looking for a Femboy, sissy or trap kik: simon86ae
Wow
Pokemon
34 yo Daddy looking for a Femboy, sissy or trap kik: simon86ae ;)
34 yo Daddy looking for a Femboy, sissy or trap kik: simon86ae ;)
Yall need jesus
If you have a big ass, or thic thighs add me on kik: Zeke_1016
Do you have the time to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I’m cracking up
Am I just paranoid
Or am I just stoned?
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life’s a bore
So quit my whining ’cause it’s bringing her down
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I’m cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Grasping to control
So I better hold on
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I’m cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or am I just stoned?
Guy into everything I’m a switch and love being dominated add my snap lmaerz73
Heyo jajajaja
jaidbarrie20s snap im a girl looking for a guy
jaidbarrie20s snap im a girl
I have now officially downloaded all of the Shadbase porn from first ever post to the last one 😜
mad respect
Gg
That’s a long and tiring undertaking, well played.
But can you organize your files into folders? That will be your next challenge.
Anyone wanna kik a twink in South Florida? I really wanna get railed.
Kik: F.Garcia.
It’s say you haven’t been on for a long time
Florida needs to be nuked off the face of the Earth.
Woohoo, woohoo.
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Got a Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh yeah, the boy can play
Dedication devotion.
He turnin’ all the night time into the day
The song about the sweet ole lovin’ woman
He do the song about the knife
And he do the walk, he do the walk of life
Yeah, he do the walk of life
Go suck a egg
Man we need you please come back dioporco
Our lord has abandoned us.
I’m just here to comment for 9k
Y u do dis
Shad plz come back :(
Who wants to count to 10. I’ll start 1
2
Follow my hentai page on Instagram if interested @lewd.empyre
fucking fag
Justin Michle also suck dick
Also post another transcript of a random movie
Claire Robinson Stacy Mendes Marissa Hendricks Amanda James Samantha James Mandy Richards Melissa Smith Erica Henderson Heidi Jenkins Rebecca Stone Melinda Henry Rebecca James all suck dick
Prince George’s county transit The Bus sucks dick
Kars 4 kids
is he ok?
I hate myself so much
Someone post another transcript
8250 to 8500 here we go or come
@Rebbekuh jaym, i fuck yu
Hi,
You’re about to lose out on your commissions…see below:
We are following up regarding the email we sent you
yesterday. Maybe you missed it. Here it is again for you:
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Rebecca James
Also 9000 here we come
Shut the fuck up
hol’up. If it’s NNN then why the fuq are there people here? Y’all already lost?? (like me)
8k let’s goooooooooooo
Searching for a sub sissy. Kik: heft555
8000 comments in 2000 to go
Holy shit 1 comment left
Kik me if you got a fat ass for my big dick. Adults only. Cumcannon21 lets get kinky
Kik me if you got a fat ass for my big dick. Adults only. Cumcannon21
Lmao cringe incel
Nope Chuck Testa
Ralph Bighead
Ok. Falta poco
=5
Oooooooo baby
yes
8 more
9 more! B)
10 to go
Lesbian girl hmu to trade insta:misslizzie.lt
Thought hed make it back to crush us all at NNN 😔
Oh me oh my 13 comments and we’ll reach 8000 comments
This month or next month our lord will return, We must hit 10k. Join me brother’s and sister’s, leave all your comments and prayers for our lord’s return.
Fucking simp
Simp!,1!1!1
77 year old boy, want to show you ma cok and bol
o ma GAD, it’s getting close O_0