I just threw up in public, the mask did nothing, all it did was make it more difficult to throw up. I must have looked pretty stupid.
— Shädman💀 (@Shadbase) June 20, 2020
I forgot to upload this one, it only took a few hours to draw and I made it last weekend.
Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then.
u ok shad ?
When the world needed him most, he vanished.
Come back daddddd
Could you PLEASE draw something? Are you giving us the unappreciated housewife treatment? Draw a dick, please.
It’s been 2 months where are u dad
You want to see real porn? Get Tor Browser, search for a Dark Web search engine called notevil, and type up loli porn, trust me you won’t wanna go back after what you see >:)
what?.. the fuck?…
No thanks pedo.
Loli hentai still exist bro you dont need the dark web
This guy is literally giving instructions to view real child porn, wtf???!!!
Yeah bro I know what you mean, I thought what the guy was talking about was some loli hentai, so I used Tor Browser, then used the dark web search engine called notevil, searched up loli porn, click one of the sites, it was called loliporn and I expected to see some loli hentai, but it was a fucking real child porn site!
Payed child porn, free previews and shit like that! I was like what in the fuck, it was absolutely disgusting; and of course I restored my PC to erase any link to my PC, I ain’t taking risks even if I am using Tor browser, I mean I use Tor to search without being tracked, not for that sick shit, fucking hell, who is this cunt, why would this cunt actually provide instructions to view that?
Oh my fucking God its real. I didn’t believe you at first and now I fucking regret it. It’s so fucking disgusting.
I AM CHRISTEENY A.K.A DUMB FUCK EDUCATOR
AND I APROVE OF THIS METHOD
I WAS ONLINE, LAST NIGHT
AND HONEY, * GIGGELS *
IT WAS DA BEST
ALL U SEXY BOIS, GOOOOOGLE MY TWITTER
CRYSTAL D VEEYANT AND TELL ME WAT KIND OF CP
YOU LIKE DA BEST
YAAAAAAAAAS QUEENS
PLM
PEDOPHILE’S LIVES MATTER
LET’S LICK SOM LIL’ PUSSI’S
* GIGGELS *
Hi christyal baby..
Saw ur twitter, gotta say sweety, awful books
Who read tranny porn fiction, i mean ewww
Though there was one sexy book on ur amazon
E-girl kindergarden fun house – dawn of the molesting
Puff vages of toddlers and tiny dicks in my ass
Anyway honey
Let’s trade some CP girl ;)
You can contact me here
EvilCPMother
your one sick dude to even joke about this
Are you new here baby?
Don’t kink shame me UwU
I got like over 2000 Gb of da most exquisite CP
We can trade, if U treat me gooood honey ;o)
* GIGGELS *
Here er som of da titels; ( this ma favs )
Daddy goes down on lily 4 y/o.avi (125) mb
Toddlers gone wild, wet wet wet.avi (43.2) mb
Lets go to phuket, tiny brown sugar holes (67) mb
Creamy babies vol. 4 (50.7) mb
Siberian mouse изнасилование (23.6) mb
ITS SO OBVIOUS YOUR NOT U TROLL
Dude you are fucked up.
eeeeeeoe
Shadman should make a short comic about the transparent bathrooms in Japan. Like gloryhole or just some people fucking and forgetting to lock the door.
Dear Mr. ShadMan,
I hope this letter finds you well. We know that you are taking a well earned break from the lewd industry and I do hope it’s working out for you. However, as you may know today marks September 1st. A dreadful day of the school’s beginning. Me, and many other highschoolers out there kindly ask you to once again lift the pen over your digital canvas and give us what we oh desperately crave.
Be safe,
Chad Thundercock
yo shadman made a new tweet click my name to see it
OMG!?! DON’T CLICK!
Just hover over the name and you can see on the bottom left where it leads to, fucking cunt
Goatsie in 2020? Sir this is not YTMND
Add me to do some dirty rp <3 alex~#0248
5k for freedom
5g
We rise up to the 5k funk
Cpt. MacMillan: The wind’s gettin’ a bit choppy. You can compensate for it, or you can wait it out, but he might leave before it dies down. It’s your call. Remember what I’ve taught you. Keep in mind variable humidity and wind speed along the bullet’s flight path. At this distance you’ll also have to take the Coriolis Effect into account.
(If the player shoots before Zakhaev comes out…
Cpt. MacMillan: Are you daft?
…it will result in a failed mission.)
Imran Zakhaev is seen coming out of a vehicle with a briefcase filled with gold.
Cpt. MacMillan: Ok… I think I see him. Wait for my mark. Target acquired. I have a positive I.D. on Imran Zakhaev. Steady…keep an eye on that flag. Watch for any change in wind speed and direction.
(If the player misses…
Cpt. MacMillan: Damn, it went wide! Probably should’ve waited for the wind to die down.
…and if Zakhaev escapes, the player fails the mission and will have to start from the scope.)
Zakhaev is seen making a deal with the soldiers, wanting stashes of weapons and nuclear material for the gold. The player can see the flag waving left and right with the wind, which he can use if he decides to take the shot early by applying the Coriolis Effect to take out Zakhaev. If the player decides to wait, a helicopter will fly in front of him.
Cpt. MacMillan: Ach, where did he come from? Patience laddie… Wait for a clear shot…
The helicopter flies away. Price continues to aim at Zakhaev. Zakhaev can be seen talking with his dealers, he raises his arms in frustration as if there was something wrong with the deal. The flag can be seen gradually becoming still as the wind settles, making it easier for the player to take the shot. If the player waits long enough.
Cpt. MacMillan: It’s now or never, take the shot!
Price fires the rifle, the bullet tears off Zakhaev’s left arm. The Ultranationalists are immediately alerted upon seeing Zakhaev get his arm amputated but don’t know where the shot came from and immediately clear out in a panic.
Cpt. MacMillan: Target is down! Nice shot, Leftenant. (or) Nice shot. I think you blew arm off. Shock and blood loss will take care of the rest. (or) Target down. I think you blew off his arm. Shock and blood loss’ll take care of the rest. (or) Target down. I think I saw his arm fly off. Nice work Leftenant. We got him.
The helicopter from before reappears, having seen where Price shot from, and moves in to attack from close range.
Cpt. MacMillan: Shit… they’re onto us! Take out that helicopter, it’ll buy us some time!
Price fires at the helicopter, killing the pilot, and it goes down in flames. The cockpit windshield turns red as the pilot’s blood splatters on the inside of the glass.
Cpt. MacMillan: Great shot Leftenant! Now let’s go! They’ll be searching for us! It’s time to move! We’ll have to take the shortcut! Follow my lead!
MacMillan and Price rappel out of the hotel as a two more helicopters fire and blow up the top floor. Price takes out his M21, and they begin to make their way to the LZ.
Cpt. MacMillan: Leftenant Price, follow me! Delta Two-Four, this is Alpha Six! We have been compromised, I repeat we have been compromised, now heading to Extraction Point Four!
Big Bird: Alpha Six, Big Bird is en route. ETA – 20 minutes. Don’t be late. We’re stretchin’ our fuel as it is. Out.
MacMillan and Price have 20 minutes to reach the extraction zone. They encounter enemy troops and they engage. If the player fights for too long…
Cpt. MacMillan: Forget these guys, we’re going to get left behind! Let’s get to the extraction point! We’ve got to reach the extraction point before we run out of time! Keep moving! Go!
They pass the enemy and run towards an apartment.
Cpt. MacMillan: We’ll lose ’em in that apartment! Come on!
They go through the apartment. As they climb a small alley to another apartment, a dog barks up the fence. Price shuts it up by killing it. They move through the apartment. Enemy troops are seen outside.
Cpt. MacMillan: Standby…! Quick, plant a claymore by the door up ahead!
Price plants a claymore by the door. An enemy walks by and is killed by the explosion. MacMillan and Price come out into a grassy ally, enemy troops come out of the apartment across them.
Cpt. MacMillan: More behind us!
They kill the enemies. A helicopter appears.
Cpt. MacMillan: Incoming helicopter! Snipe the bastard! Price, shoot the helicopter! We’ll take it down together!
They shoot the helicopter and damage its rotors, it starts to spin around.
Cpt. MacMillan: Gooodnight ya bastard…
The helicopter hits the apartment, firing its missiles, and crashes towards MacMillan.
Cpt. MacMillan: Ahhh…crap! (bollocks!) – Run! (Aw shite! – Run!)
MacMillan runs but falls to the ground, injuring his leg. The helicopter crashes and stops just inches away from him. He catches the one rotor blade that didn’t shear to pieces as much as the other blades did with his hand, stopping it inches from his body.
Cpt. MacMillan: Bloody hell, I can’t move! (or) Bollocks! My leg’s all messed up! I can’t move! Sorry mate, you’re gonna have to carry me!
Price helps up MacMillan. From here, the player must carry MacMillan the rest of the way to the LZ. His movement is restricted to a walking pace when he’s carrying MacMillan.
Cpt. MacMillan: If we run into trouble, you’ll have to find a good spot to put me down so I can cover you. The extraction point is to the southwest. We can still make it if we hurry.
Price begins to carry him towards the extraction point.Enemies appear ahead of them.
Cpt. MacMillan: Hostiles closing from the west. Enemies closing in. Put me in a good spot where I can cover you. Movement. Northeast.; Targets southeast.; Contact southwest.; Hostiles closing in from the west.; More coming from the north.
The player will have to set down MacMillan before he can take out the hostiles. If the player goes too far away from MacMillan.
Cpt. MacMillan: Leftenant Price! Don’t get too far ahead.
They eliminate enemy troops, Price continues to carry MacMillan towards the extraction point.
Cpt. MacMillan: It’s time to move, give me a lift.
MacMillan would say the following lines as the player helps him up or settles him down.
Cpt. MacMillan: Easy does it…; Careful…; Easy now…
Price helps up MacMillan and heads towards an apartment.
Cpt. MacMillan: Head for that apartment, we’ll try to lose ’em in there.
They reach the second floor of the apartment. Price puts down MacMillan to clear out the rooms of enemy troops and dogs. If the rooms are not completely clear…
Cpt. MacMillan: Wait. Make sure these rooms are clear first.
Price clears the second floor.
Cpt. MacMillan: Looks like we’re in the clear, we should get moving.
Price carries MacMillan out of the apartment and continues towards the extraction point. A Russian loudspeaker can be heard from a distance in the background.
Cpt. MacMillan: We’re almost there. The extraction point is on the other side of that building.
Price and MacMillan enter the building. At the deep end of the swimming pool, four dogs are feeding on a carcass. If the player gets near them, they’ll scatter. Outside, there are two guards; Price kills them. They come to the Pripyat Ferris Wheel at the Palace of Culture.
Big Bird: Alpha-Six, this is Big Bird. Standing by for your signal, over.
Cpt. MacMillan: Our helicopter is standing by at a safe distance. Put me down behind the Ferris wheel where I can provide sniper support. A bit farther to the north… This’ll be fine.
Price puts down MacMillan at a spot of grass behind the Ferris wheel.
Cpt. MacMillan: Take the rest of my claymores, now is the time to use them. (or) And if you have any claymores left, now is the time to use them. The enemy is bound to enter this area, so find a good sniping position. I’ll signal the helicopter in thirty seconds.
Price plants claymores all around the area. The player may also set up C4 to detonate at a later time.
Cpt. MacMillan: Find a good spot to snipe from and go prone.
Price prones in a sniping position.
Cpt. MacMillan: Alright lad, I’ve activated the beacon. Good luck.
Big Bird: Alpha-Six. We have a fix on your position. Hang tight. Big Bird out.
Enemies enter the area.
Cpt. MacMillan: Tangos in sight. Let them get closer. Standby to engage… Open fire.
They begin to snipe out enemy troops trying to enter the area. The claymores explode as they walk past them. The player detonates any C4 he’s placed in the area. The four dogs from the pool will also enter the fray, but they attack the enemies (a good strategy when holding out until evac).
Cpt. MacMillan: Watch out! Pay attention!
As enemies are eliminated, helicopters arrive and drop more troops.
Cpt. MacMillan: Enemy choppers inbound!
More enemy reinforcements enter the area. They continue firing.
Cpt. MacMillan: Big Bird we are heavily outnumbered, where are you?
Big Bird: Copy that Alpha, we’ll be there ASAP. Hold tight.
They hold off for a total of a staggering four minutes. Big Bird finally arrives, landing and dropping off a squad of friendly U.S. Marines to assist in holding off the enemy troops.
Big Bird: Alpha Team, this is Big Bird. Get your ass on board, over.
If the player boarding the helicopter without MacMillan.
SAS: Where’s MacMillan?!
If the player takes a while…
Big Bird: Alpha Team, we’re at bingo fuel! You got thirty seconds!
Price carries MacMillan to the helicopter supported by the Marine squad. Once Price and MacMillan are on board, the Marines withdraw inside themselves. They evacuate out of Pripyat.
The satellite tracks a fleet of U.S. carriers launching Black Hawk helicopters to invade a city somewhere in the Middle East. A TV station is pinpointed in the middle of the city.
Deadly: Outlaw, this is Deadly. Refueled and fully loaded.
Outlaw: Roger that. Bachelor Two-Seven, let’s get those Abrams to the front.
Vasquez: Marines! Spotters have a possible fix on Al-Asad in a building at the west end of this town. We’re gonna secure the perimeter and grab Al-Asad. Oorah? Lock and load!
The satellite tracks Sgt. Paul Jackson of the U.S.M.C., 1st Force Recon in one of the Black Hawks.
[“Charlie Don’t Surf]
[Day 2 – 13:45:06]
[Sgt. Paul Jackson]
[1st Force Recon Co., U.S.M.C.]
Sgt. Paul Jackson starts in a Black Hawk carrying a task force of Marines invading a city to capture Al-Asad. Off-shore oil platforms are seen in the distance as the Black Hawks pass them and approach the shoreline.
Striker Six-Four: Shoreline coming into view.
Cobra Pilot: Copy, Striker Six-Four.
Striker Six-Four: Feet dry in ten seconds.
Cobra Pilot: Copy.
As they approach the docks and the city, gunfire and RPG fire attempt to shoot down the choppers but to no avail.
Striker Six-Four: Taking fire here…
Cobra Pilot: Roger that. We’ve got RPGs down there.
More RPGs and machine gun fire attempt to shoot them down.
Striker Six-Four: Shit that was close!
Cobra Pilot: Got a visual on the target.
The Black Hawks arrive at the LZ in the city.
Striker Six-Four: Five seconds. Standby for greenlight.
Vasquez: Down the ropes! Go go!
Marine: Go! Go! Go!
The Marines rappel down from the choppers. Jackson rappels down.
Vasquez: 2nd squad on me to the target building! Move!
Some Marines can be seen laying out barb wire fences to block the street.
Marine: Move it, move it! Set up the blocking position! Let’s go!
Lt. Vasquez, Jackson, Pvt. Massey and 2nd squad move towards a building.
Vasquez: There’s the target building! Left side door breach! Stack up!
They stack up at the door. Vasquez/Massey places a breaching charge on the door.
Vasquez: Blow the charge!
The charge explodes. They breach the building.
Pvt. Massey: Breaching, breaching!
Vasquez: Go go go!
They take out the first two soldiers.
Pvt. Massey: Clear!
Vasquez: Jackson, take point.
Jackson moves downstairs into a weapons room and engages OpFor. The room is clear and the Marines stack up by the door to the next room.
Vasquez: Jackson, throw a flashbang!
Jackson tosses a flashbang into a room and clears it.
Vasquez: All callsigns, check the bodies. We need a positive ID on Al-Asad.
Marine: Negative ID over here Sir.
Marine: No sign of Al-Asad here Sir.
Vasquez: (on radio) HQ, this is Red Dog. Target building is secure but we don’t have Al-Asad, over…(after receiving new orders)…Roger that HQ. Out. (To the squad) Heads up! I just got word Al-Asad is broadcasting half a click east of here at a TV station! We’re gonna move out on foot and take down the package there. Move out.
Marine: Friendly reinforcements comin’ up.
They fight through the maze of streets and make their way to the TV station.
Marine: Heads up! Friendlies at your six!
They reach the TV station.
Vasquez: Target building in sight.
Marine: We’ve got the TV building locked down and surrounded, Sir.
Vasquez: Good. Get in position to breach.
The team stacks up to the entrance. Vasquez/A Marine plants a breaching charge.
Vasquez: Do it!
The breach explodes.
Marine: Breaching, breaching!
Vasquez: Go go go!
They move into the building and encounter some enemies in the halls. They enter the central news room and engage more OpFor. After a long fight, they clear up and move forward.
Vasquez: Room clear! Move up! Al-Asad should be on the second floor!
They move further into the TV station. M1 Abrams tanks are seen rolling down the streets.
Marine: Yeah, there goes our boys.
Marine: Oorah. Oorah.
SSgt. Griggs and his squad come out of the foyer.
Griggs: Hold your fire! Friendlies coming out!
Griggs’ squad groups with Vasquez.
Griggs: No sign of Al-Asad, sir.
Vasquez: All right. Fall in, Marines. Stay frosty.
They head up the roof of the building. On the way, Marines in the parking lot engage more OpFor coming out of an alley below. The Marines move up a roof access stairs.
Griggs: Watch your six, Devil Dog.
They move into a hall and stack up outside the door to the broadcasting studio. Al-Asad can be heard inside the room.
Griggs: I think he’s in there. I hear him.
Vasquez: Do it!
A Marine shoots the door hinges with a W1200 and kicks down the door. They enter the room, but it is empty.
Marine: Clear!
Marine: Room clear!
Marine: He’s not here.
Marine: (referring to the broadcast of Al-Asad) It’s on a loop…the broadcast is a recording.
Griggs: Yeah…Score one for military intelligence!
Vasquez: Griggs, turn that off.
Griggs: Roger that. I got something better anyway.
Vasquez: Command, this is Red Dog. The TV station is secure but there’s no sign of Al-Asad. The broadcast is a recording, over… Roger that, Command. Out.
Griggs turns off the broadcast recording and puts on a rap song.
Griggs: Yeah. Oorah.
Vasquez: Marines! Rally up! We got a new assignment. Get your gear, and get ready to move out! Let’s go!
FADE IN
CARD — 1988
FADE IN SECOND CARD — The Crime Rate in the United States Rises Four
Hundred Percent.
VOICE
In 1988, the crime rate in the United States rises four hundred percent.
GRAPHIC — Line-graphic of New York, MANHATTAN ISLAND highlighted.
VOICE
The once-great city of New York becomes the one maximum-security prison
for the entire country.
GRAPHIC — MANHATTAN ISLAND lights up. The word “Prison” is added.
VOICE
A fifty-foot containment wall is erected along the New Jersey shoreline,
across the Harlem river, and down along the Brooklyn shoreline. It
completely surrounds Manhattan Island.
GRAPHIC — The containment wall is added to the line graphic with the
tag “Containment Wall”.
VOICE
All bridges and waterways are mined.
GRAPHIC — Dots symbolizing the bridges and waterways blink on and off.
VOICE
The United States Police Force, like an army, is encamped around the
island.
GRAPHIC — Arrows symbolizing the police force are added. TAG — Statue
of Liberty Island Security Control.
VOICE
There are no guards inside the prison: only prisoners and the worlds
they have made.
NEW GRAPHIC — Outline drawing of New York.
VOICE
The rules are simple. Once you go in, you don’t come out.
GRAPHIC — Outline drawing of the Statue of Liberty and the shoreline
are added.
CARD — 1997
FADE IN SECOND CARD — NOW
FADE OUT 1997
EXT. STATUE OF LIBERTY SECURITY CONTROL — NIGHT.
A Jeep pulls up outside the base. It comes to a stop and the driver
pulls out a walkie-talkie.
DRIVER
This is Gotham 4, North Bay, Station 17. I have an escape in progress.
An object in mid-bay moving toward the wall.
TILT UP — WALL
EXT. CLOSE UP — SIGN “New York Maximum Security Penitentiary Manhattan
Island”
CONTINUED TILT UP — EXT. WALL — NIGHT
Two guards watch for the escapees in question.
EXT. MANHATTAN ISLAND — NIGHT
A helicopter flies over the bay towards Manhattan Island.
EXT. BOAT — NIGHT
The two escapees paddle, trying to get across the bay.
EXT. HELICOPTER — NIGHT
The search light WHITES OUT THE SCREEN
EXT. BOAT — NIGHT
The two escapees continue paddling. THEY’VE BEEN CAUGHT.
HELICOPTER PILOT
You have 10 seconds. Turn around. Start back to the island.
INT. HELICOPTER — NIGHT
The pilot targets the boat on a computer screen in front of him.
EXT. BOAT — NIGHT
Two shots are fired directly in front of the escapees as a warning.
They ignore them and continue paddling away from the island.
INT. HELICOPTER — NIGHT
EXT. CLOSE UP — PILOT’S HAND
The pilot FIRES AGAIN.
EXT. BOAT — NIGHT
The boat EXPLODES.
EXT. HELICOPTER — NIGHT
Following the helicopter as it returns to the base.
EXT. BASE — NIGHT
Rehme walks back to the main base, pulling out his walkie-talkie on the
way.
REHME
Gotham 4, confirm the kill.
HELICOPTER PILOT
Circled the base. Over.
REHME
Security, this is Rehme. We have confirmation from Gotham 4. We have a
kill in midharbor. South of the battery. Two in the water dead.
SECURITY
Two confirmed.
REHME
Very well.
EXT. BASE — NIGHT
Rehme walks into a building labeled “LIBERTY ISLAND SECURITY CONTROL and
picks up a phone.
REHME
Air traffic, this is Rehme . . .
EXT. AIR TRAFFIC — NIGHT
The helicopter lands. In the background, a BUS FULL OF PRISONERS comes
up.
EXT. BUS — NIGHT
S.D. “SNAKE” PLISSKEN gets off the bus, looks around, and is escorted by
three guards into the base. He looks like the essence of cool. His
hair is long, wavy, and ratty, he lost his left eye somewhere along the
line, and he’s got a two-day beard thing going on. He’s wearing a black
spandex/kevlar type shirt with zippers across the shoulders, and a pair
of camouflage pants with lots of pockets. His jacket is a brown leather
jacket that has seen far better days, and he’s wearing a pair of
handcuffs that have, instead of the links we’re used to, a straight
metal bar between them. He’s not resisting anything, but the police are
not taking any chances.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
Plissken and the guards follow a winding stairway down to the main
floor.
VOICE
Attention. You are now entering the debarkation area. No talking. No
smoking. The next scheduled departure to the prison is in two hours.
You now have the option to terminate and be cremated on the premises.
If you elect this option, notify the duty sergeant in your processing
area.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
EXT. CLOSE UP ON SIGN — “No talking. No smoking. Follow the ORANGE
line.”
EXT. CLOSE UP ON SNAKE. He is not impressed.
STEADICAM VIEW OF THE HALL, SNAKE’S P.O.V. Guards, guards, more guards.
Who cares.
As Snake rounds the corner:
O.S. GUARD
Hold it.
Snake stops, turns, directs an impertinent glance at the speaker. He’s
still not impressed by any of this.
FADE OUT.
————————————————————————
FADE IN.
EXT. BASE — NIGHT
Rehme waits as a limo pulls up. Out steps BOB HAUK.
REHME
We’ve got a small jet in trouble, over restricted air space.
HAUK
Where is it?
REHME
Seven miles out and closing.
The two of them walk AWAY.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
Hauk and Rehme walk down the stairs. They turn TOWARD US and walk into
the AIR TRAFFIC ROOM. Dozens of men sit in front of radar transmission
screens, wearing headsets and working. Following Hauk and Rehme into
the room:
INT. AIR TRAFFIC ROOM — NIGHT
REHME
We’ve been on the board for the last twenty minutes. We haven’t been
able to reach them. There was a transmission ten minutes ago. He
identified as “David 14.” Then all of a sudden he was cut off.
Hauk and Rehme stand behind a CONTROLLER.
CONTROLLER
David 14, acknowledge. David 14, we are sending Air Rescue. Squawk
7700, contact on 121.5.
(to Hauk and Rehme)
There’s still no reply.
(to his headset)
Bayonne. I have a mayday in restricted space.
O.S. CONTROLLER
New York, I have it.
Hauk pulls Rehme aside.
HAUK
Who is it?
REHME
I don’t know.
HAUK
You have the code?
REHME
There’s no David 14 on the computer.
HAUK
Unlisted?
REHME
Unregistered code. We telexed Washington. Still waiting for a reply.
CONTROLLER
I think I’ve got him, sir.
Hauk and Rehme walk back over to the controller. He patches a voice-
over through.
REBEL VOICE
It’s too late, assholes. All your imperialist weapons and lies can’t
save him now. We’re going down. We’re going to crash.
CONTROLLER
David 14, acknowledge!
CODEMAN
The code’s coming in, sir.
Hauk and Rehme dash over to the codeman. He shows them a display.
“Aircraft Identified. Code: David14. Decode: AIR FORCE ONE.”
“Air Force One” blinks as Hauk and Rehme look at each other in shock.
EXT. PLANE — NIGHT
The plane is flying over New York.
INT. COCKPIT — NIGHT
The REBEL has killed the pilot and copilot and is working on her own.
REBEL
Tell this to the workers when they ask where your leader went . . .
She pulls out a slip of PAPER and proceeds to read.
REBEL
We, the soldiers of the national liberation front of America, in the
name of the workers and all the oppressed of this imperialist country
have struck a fatal blow to the racist police stick!
INT. PLANE — NIGHT
A secret service AGENT taps on the door with his rifle as the rebel
continues.
REBEL
What better revolutionary example than to let the president perish in
the inhuman dungeon of his own imperialist prison?
The agent runs back down the plane to the President and his advisers.
AGENT
(to 2ND AGENT)
Unlock the pod!
2ND AGENT immediately runs off.
PAN LEFT TO PRESIDENT.
AGENT
She’s bolted the door.
PRESIDENT
Can’t you shoot off the lock?
AGENT
No, sir, she’s pressurized the cabin.
PRESIDENT
How about lifting the door off of the hinges?
AGENT
No, sir.
EXT. CLOSE UP — The President’s wrist as he handcuffs his briefcase to
it.
PRESIDENT
Get me to the pod.
The President and all his advisors stand up and move to the back of the
plane.
INT. POD ROOM — NIGHT
The pod opens. An expert attaches a locating device to the President’s
wrist.
EXPERT
Sir, this is a locating device to trace you if you become separated from
the pod. I’m activating it now.
SCREENS on the pod begin to light up as the President gets into the pod.
He pushes a few buttons.
PRESIDENT
God save me and watch over you all.
EXT. BASE — NIGHT
A guard watches as Air Force One descends into New York.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
Rehme and Hauk watch a computer simulation of the plane.
VOICE
Computer simulation tracking Air Force One.
EXT. NEW YORK — NIGHT
The plane goes down.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
EXT. CLOSE UP — MONITORS
As the plane smashes into a building, a red dot drops through the
building. It’s the pod.
O.S. MAN
It’s down!
HAUK
It’s the escape pod.
REHME
40 degrees, 50 yards from impact.
HAUK
I’m going in.
EXT. BASE — NIGHT
Helicopters prepare for, and execute, launch, and fly into New York. A
guard watches them.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
Rehme watches monitors as Hauk talks.
HAUK
1-W-Larry. Over the battery. We’re moving down. Direct sight ahead.
EXT. NEW YORK — NIGHT
The helicopters land. A swarm of policemen run out, and Hauk hangs
back. He follows with a second swarm. The first swarm assumes a
defensive position near the pod. Hauk examines the pod. It’s
definitely empty, and the rest of the jet is surrounded in flames.
An odd LAUGH from nowhere.
WEIRDO walks out of the darkness. He nods his head to Hauk.
WEIRDO
You touch me… he dies. If you’re not in the air in thirty seconds…
he dies. You come back in… he dies.
Weirdo takes a package out of his shirt and unwraps it to reveal the
President’s middle finger, complete with ring.
WEIRDO
Twenty seconds.
HAUK
I’m ready to talk.
WEIRDO
Nineteen. Eighteen.
HAUK
What do you want?
WEIRDO
Seventeen. Sixteen.
HAUK
Let’s go. Let’s go!
Weirdo grins in triumph as the police force swarms back to the
helicopters and hauls ass out of New York.
INT. BASE — NIGHT
Rehme stands behind a desk, talking on the phone. Hauk is in the
foreground, looking pensive.
REHME
Yes, he’s right here, Mr. Vice President.
Hauk picks up a phone.
HAUK
This is Bob Hauk. …We can’t. If we move in with choppers, they’ll
kill him. We’re lucky if he’s not dead already… They don’t want
anything yet. By the time they figure out what they want, it’ll be too
late.
REHME
Tell him we have to go with your plan now.
Hauk waves him off.
HAUK
We can’t wait until tomorrow. If we have to move in and take the
island, it’s a last resort. It’s 8:45. I want permission to try a
rescue. Thank you.
INT. HAUK’S OFFICE — NIGHT
Hauk calmly arms a .45 pistol. He looks up from his desk.
HAUK
All right.
OVERPROTECTIVE SECURITY GUARD
He’s dangerous, sir.
HAUK
(with quiet confidence)
I know. I’ll be OK.
HAUK’S P.O.V.
We see the silhouette of an unmistakable figure. It’s Snake Plissken
all right, live and in the flesh. The guards leave. Snake walks into
Hauk’s office and sits down in the chair across from Hauk. He raises
his cuffed hands to Hauk as if to say “Take these off me, asshole,” but
he doesn’t actually say anything. Hauk shakes his head.
HAUK
I’m not a fool, Plissken.
SNAKE
(coooooool)
Call me Snake.
Hauk puts on his glasses and proceeds to read a file.
HAUK
S.D. Plissken. American Lieutenant. Special Forces Unit, Black Flight.
Two Purple Hearts, Leningrad and Siberia. Youngest man to be decorated
by the President. You robbed the federal reserve depository. Life
sentence, New York Maximum Security Penitentiary. I’m ready to kick your
ass out of the world, War Hero.
Snake could not care less. He reaches forward with his still-cuffed
right hand, picks up a cigarette, picks up a match with his left hand,
strikes the match and takes a drag from his cigarette. He lets out a
calm breath and says:
SNAKE
Who are you?
HAUK
Hauk. Police Commissioner.
SNAKE
Bob Hauk…
HAUK
Special Forces Unit. Texas Thunder. We heard of you, too, Plissken.
SNAKE
Why are we talking?
HAUK
I have a deal for you. You’ll receive full pardon for every criminal
act committed in the United States.
Hauk shows Snake the pardon. Snake’s eye lights up. This is something
he wants. He’s interested now, and can’t hide it.
HAUK
(pressing his advantage)
There was an accident about an hour ago. A small jet went down inside
New York City. The President was on board.
SNAKE
(re-establishing control over the conversation)
President of what?
HAUK
That’s not funny, Plissken. (beat) You go in, find the President and
bring him out in 24 hours, and you’re a free man.
We sense amusement from Snake. This is not the first time the
government has asked him for a favor. But he’s not a soldier or a “War
Hero” anymore. He knows they need him more than he needs their pardon.
He’s holding the cards now, and he knows it.
SNAKE
Twenty-four hours, huh?
HAUK
I’m making you an offer.
SNAKE
Bullshit.
HAUK
Straight just like I said.
SNAKE
I’ll think about it.
HAUK
No time. Give me an answer.
Snake turns away. Hauk is pushing way too hard, and Snake is determined
to be in the driver’s seat.
SNAKE
Get a new president.
HAUK
We’re still at war, Plissken. We need him alive.
SNAKE
I don’t give a fuck about your war… or your president.
HAUK
Is that your answer?
SNAKE
I’m thinking about it.
HAUK
Think hard.
Snake pauses to take a draw on his cigarette. Next question:
SNAKE
Why me?
HAUK
You flew the Gullfire over Leningrad. You know how to get in quiet.
You’re all I’ve got.
SNAKE
I guess I go in one way or the other. Doesn’t mean shit to me. Give me
the paper.
HAUK
When you come out.
SNAKE
Before.
HAUK
I told you I wasn’t a fool, Plissken.
SNAKE
Call me Snake.
Too late. This site is raw! SHUT IT DOWN!
He’s coming back in December he said he’s taking a break on Twitter
Too late. This site is raw! SHUT IT DOWN!
Where are you Shad? I hope you are doing well and nothing happens to you! Stay Safe.
Bro I hope you doing good man. Stat safe out there.
So this is how Shad ends, not with banging, but with a whimper
Baby come back
Aguante huachipato
Shadbase please come back I need more women having cocks :(
We also need feminine looking men with boobs.
we miss you.
I keep coming daily to see if there’s something new to fap to but there’s nothing still. I’ll bust a nut for everyday shad’s been gone when his next porn post is up.
Damn! I’ll even eat it if he comes back with the ending to starfire in heat
anybody got suggestions on new content?
Im waiting to long those grils/futas better come out of the screen and fuck me
OUR GOD IS GONE 😢 WHERE IS SHAD?????
Just waiting on the voter fraud from the left.
Perfect! Yeees!
WARNING – “Alisse” IS A RUSSIAN SCAMMER WHO
WANTS TO STEAL YOUR FINANCIAL INFORMATION
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY CHATZ.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, chatz.pw may not be safe
Facts about chatz.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 74% / Netherlands: 26%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. LEAVE SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
Shad as a long time fan of yours I’d like to say that I appreciate how much you’ve done for all of us who enjoy your work. If you’re tired of this site and anything that’s remotely connected to it, that’s okay. If you’re ready to move on then that’s completely fine. I’m sure for most of us it’s about time as well. I discovered you back in 2011, and now being a newly 22 year-old man I can say it’s about time for me to move on. Whatever you decide to do Shadman, I’ll be a supporter always. Your artwork’s taught me how to draw and apply it into my own style. I appreciate you for everything. Thanks Shad, for the greatest years.
shut the fuck up faggot
This is the most heartwarming thing I’ve ever seen in the Shädbase comments. It’s amazing to see Shadman’s artistic progression, and if he’s done here, I hope the archive stays up.
It’s been about 2 months since the fire nation attacked
Waiting :/
Missing our saviour
Draw something damnit
Shad is dead! Is it almost time for crab rave memes?
shad we know you wanna draw some tits
Missing you chief
I miss you babe
unu
Every day I check. Longing for your return.
F
5k
really hoping shad isn’t about to pull a jlul
Shad was fucked to death when he walked into a 69 session between Biden and Trump. This art lives on in his honor.
“Hey guys, I’ll be doing more to upload faster and more regularly!” – Shad
Also Shad, goes several months without posting…
When is the next comic?
for 5 k
Hello Shad. Hope you’re doing well buddy. I’m sure you get this alot, but do take care out there in these crazy times we’re living in. Also, where’s that Shadman and InCase mixtape I’ve been wishing for? Have a good day, and come back as soon as you are able… we miss you. well… mostly the smut, but i guess you as well.
Add on snapchet for hot trap assTnT_boy fun
Lol fuck off gay trap 🤡🤡🤡
Fucking losers neck beard cunts who masturbate to their cousins
We’re no strangers to love
Slit your wrists
Edgy much?
You know the rules and so do I
We’re no strangers to love
We’re no strangers to love
for the 5k comments
for the 5k
There’s a zombie on your laaaaaaaawn we don’t want zombies on the laaaaaaaaawn
Naughty little girl looking for some fun, message me daddy ;3 Kik: LittleBooper1
you smell like feet bruh
Adding my comment to get us to 5k
4.5 k. Can we get 5? Lesgodude.
Shad left to get cigarettes 3 months ago and never came back
So Shad is a black dad?
you just went for that didn’t you?
Triggered mfs out here, lmao.
It’s officially been two while months can we get another YES WE CAN YES WE CAN
Jesus Christ, people lose their fucking shit when you don’t dedicate every second of your entire life to them, sheesh.
It’s been two months, get real retard
shad simps are cancer
He said he isn’t posting til december. Let’s all go find a real artist to supoort. Shad has lost it.
Which other adult artists like Shad would you recommend?
Go on the shadbase sub reddit and onto the post where he’s getting poked by a stick
The shadbase reddit is empty🤔
Rajii?
Any girls or kinky femboys on here that wanna swap nudes hmu
Kik: TrapLore88
Go check his Twitter, he’s not dead and he said that he’s still working on his art. He just lost track of time
atleast get someone else to post their art on here you FUCKING HACK
I just wanted to say, that i hope you are doing okay shadman. I noticed the outlines of your site are a lot more bloody and deppresing and i hope it doesn’t reflect the state of your mind. And for 2 months you didnt update which made me a bit concerned for your wellbeing. It is okay to take some time off.
Okay, maybe I was a little out there with my request below. Maybe if someone would just send me links to gay, interracial scat porn, I’ll be so happy I’ll stop raping the family dog in my mom’s basement after she goes to sleep. Please send: LOTN @ Otaku-Incel.org
Imagine having to be such a faggot that you come back just to respond to other ppl you inbred piece of shit go ducking hang yourself bitch you lick the cum off the motherfucking floor like the cuck faggot bitch you are
Dad? Is that you?
Once upon a time
There was this faggot named chadböy
Lil’ chad was a cunt, who was afraid to draw, gore, scat & loli
So he thought, perhaps dick’s on poor chicks / guy’s with tits
Mabey, all the fags will come suck my dick
Suddenly chadbase became a becon for filthy faggots
And mentally ill little bitch boys who jerks of to my little pony shows
The site was dead
Then lil’ chattyböy killed him self because of the ebola aids
Eat shit now
I’m a pedophile I love licking little girls puffy pussies! The fluffier and more undeveloped the pussy is, the better! Ages from 0 to 6! If anyone knows where I can find some little girls to lick let me know! My dick gets so hard for little baby princesses! ♡
Don’t jugde me because I transPedo
We are Da Queeeens
YAAAAAAAAAAAAS
bruh…
Fucking white people :/
For me there was fear, fear of my lust for excrement, turd burglaries, and men with dicks & tits, tiny boys no more then 5 years old, but there was also a sense of relief, and at last I knew there was a reason for the way I felt and something I could try to fight. However, the initial thoughts are that if you have a mental illness and is a faggot you will be locked away in an institution, lobotomised, and your life is over. Those thoughts are based, not on what the reality is, but on the incel teenagers perception. A perception based upon generations scared to accept what is different and quite happy to lock it away – and literally throw away the key.
The truth is i was locked away inside a padded cell for many years You need to realise that consuming fecal matter is my passion, while I would smear it all over my fat, saggy body and cellulite covered greasy skin in many ways it is beginning again. Once you realise that then you can accept the illness. You can accept the scat and you can live.
Sadly there were people who roam my in my brain to me who believed these misconceptions and whether through a lack of understanding, fear that it was contagious, like ebola or simply shame, of me masturbating my micro penis furiously to faggot porn, 2 girls one cup, 4 girls finger paint, and especially to my favourite fantasies guy’s with fake tits fucking other men so they distanced themselves and could not deal me having a mental illness. Or being a scat-loving homosexual. These were not just the made up friends in my head, or even close make belief friends also know as the screaming voices they were close family. Sadly it included my brother. Who was my altar ego
That shame, that fear of stigma, meant that I struggled to tell people when I was diagnosed. That I had a mental illness.
And as a flaming faggot, a obese man child who knows i’m in reality a women also i was a professional turd burglar, I had to catch em all, you know like pokemon.
I wanted to taste every variety of shit from solid to liquid diarrhea
It made me feel frustrated, having to bottle in who I was and how I felt. Nothing should be bottled in, especially when you have a mental illness.
When I speak to my self and I, and tell them, happily and with no shame, I have bipolar disorder, then often their reaction is that I look mentally ill, whatever that means.
I still get depressed, I still have days when I don’t want to leave my toilet bowl, crawl under the sheets and hide from pathetic life. I still have days when I feel “wrong”. But I have support, my condition is well managed enjoyment for excrement at the moment, I remember to take my heavy dose of meds and my life is tragic. I have a beautiful pair of juciy man tits I have a good professional job, Still a turd burglar I can talk to my self, and I function. I have a normal life despite being mentally ill pretend female.
Well that’s what I keep telling my other personalities.
A mental illness does define what sick fuck you are.
And I am one pedophile faggot
Love small bois
GIGGELS
R.i.p. shad
Why, what appended to him?
At this point he must be in a better place R.I.P shad
No offence to the man/girl/ficus but , deep down I think we all know shad is not going to heaven ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯
but when the world needed him most, he vanished.
The Fire Nation captured him…
Jajaja
God is dead and we kill him
No. Not dead…
Just waiting…….
F
Shad posts more on his Twitter than he does on his own fucking site. How counterintuitive
Anyone know where i can find some great nun porn that doesn’t involve scat, old women, latex, fat women and traps
no
Yeah but its got an ugly bastard
Traps are nice
Text me on Kik, I’m a 19 y/o bisexual femboy who loves cock and needs a dom to show me my place~ I’ll gladly send nudes~ Kik – meltygummy
any femboys message me on kik khryshtsya
any femboys want to hit me up on kik khryshtsya
Ya’ll come play this game I made
Scam fucking kill yourself faggot
Someones angy
Sure, I’ll be glad to click and download your trojanware on to my computer. While I’m at it I’ll send you my bank account, routing #, SSN, PIN, DOB and mother’s maiden name plus porn of me you can blackmail me with … and, and an extra bonus, nude pictures of my sister…
… or maybe I’ll just tell you to FUCK OFF, criminal.
Lmfao
SCAMMER ALERT = tha homie
Here lies Shadman,
August 28, 2011 – June 30, 2020
May he draw lolis in peace.
RIP
Do lily from at&t
LILY FROM AT&T IS A FILTHY JEW FROM UZBEKISTAN. (((Milana Vayntrub)))
that would be funny
Kik katz_gamer
I’m a femboi if your one too that would be great
Other also welcome
horny femboy looking to trade pics kik:tvan.735
Message me on snap to see my thicc ass
@johntrad2002
And BBC who wants a virgin ass shota
Kik- urshotaboi03
Guys quickly huniepop is free on the epic games store
kap
It could be worse. JLullaby could be posting on here again.
Most of his shit was better than shad’s
Facts ^
I dunno, I’d say the overall quality of the art was better, but I swear it was just the same shit with different characters. Like it was all just a dude (or multiple dudes) with a dong the size of his arm railing some curvy hoe. Not saying it was all bad, it just felt incredibly repetitive to me
I agree. The technical aspects of the artwork was great, but it woefully lacked creativity. A lot of it was the same. The characters even had the same hair style, despite their original designs having much different hair.
Basically it was boring.
Holy shit you guys are pretentious faggots lmao omg
JL’s style is definitely more predictable in terms of panel development and story. It makes his art repetitive, regardless of it’s higher quality; I mean, when you look at JLs comics, they all progress in similar ways. Shadman’s art is slightly lesser quality (although after working with JL and other various artists over the years it’s certainly improved,) but Shad is a lot more creative and experimental; So his quality varies often, but Shad has much more diverse content, and simply more content than JL. Overall, JL has higher quality art (better resolution, and more pleasing lighting). Shadman has similar quality, more diverse content, and a larger archive. So I, personally consider him the better artist.
Porque tienen tanto miedo de decir que son de habla hispana o latinoamerica?
No lo se bro
Monkey language
No es cuestion de miedo. Sino educacion. Aqui se habla ingles.
So you better learn it, don’t be a fucking ignorant monkey.
Sí.
._.XD
Q: What’s the difference between black people and chimpanzees?
A: Chimpanzees don’t commit 60% of all violent crime in America.
Racist much?
And about that other 40%?
Every other race combined lol
Edgelord
What’s black on top and white on bottom?
Rape
Pfff
You call it rape she calls the best night of her life. And keeps calling back for more
Your mother prefers black people, that’s the difference.
Shut up pussy
Bitch
“i like dark humor”
> is literally just racist
This mfer dead
Must be of been the rona’
He’s said on his twitter a while ago that he’s doing stuff for school and it will probably be until December that anything new shows up here.
Damn, shad gotta get those grades
well that’s surprisingly wholesome
When its been two months since shad has decided to upload even the slightest of a message or drawing.
I get that it’s important we wait, and i’ll wait as long as it takes. But the
guy has left us in the dark without a message or anything.
Didn’t know he was your babysitter and needed to inform you every time he takes a shit
Now that is the internet I know and love. Don’t know who you are
anon, but nice 😅
You dead?
kik: Emipes
Send me somthing and i’ll try to send something equivalent
I’m going to Tim Hortons. Any of you hosers want anything?
Large double double
Can you retards just check his Twitter he’s been active on there since the start
Honestly fuck this guy, anyone who forgets the people that got them where they are can piss off
“Hey I jerk off to your drawings, you owe me all your success!”
Imagine being this mentally handicapped. No you dumb shit. The shadbase community is what launched this guy with word of mouth, merch purchases, patreon when he had it, etc. You don’t go anywhere if you couldn’t grow a community. And with the passion this one had at one point he could have at the very least been more upfront about things
“Community?” Please stop trying to dignify and elevate all the otaku, incels, and retards like yourself.
You’re like a bunch of digital Karens, and whining and crying when you don’t get your way. Pathetic. Sad.
He built his career on drawing porn you dumb fuck. And he was supported for it. So yeah without his community he would have been fucking nobody, a struggling artist if he kept on the path. Who knows if he would have been successful or not. This community turned to shit because he stopped communicating. The fans had a degree of right to complain, not to the level that it did but there was a degree. Basically they got Zuckerberged, helped this man rise and he threw those who helped him to the side. If you can’t understand that then your brain dead
You do realize he has a family right ? Shad is not some 20 year old loser living of drawing porn
Do you mean his mother who disowned him after finding out he drew porn of her for mother’s day?
You mean his mother who disowned him after finding out that he drew porn of her for mother’s day?
this guy is so dead
The dude is dead
yoooooooooooo
Shadman is probably not alive
Click on the Twitter link
The Shadman is probably not alive
Aim for 5000 comments
aim for your mom’s butthole
Maybe we have to wear a mask, just as the title says.
This site used to be one of my main browser bookmarks for ages, it has now been demoted to the side scroll list. RIP
Does anybody know where I can get some porn involving an 8 y/o girl, two well-hung black studs, and a German Shepard? vomit, piss and scat action a major bonus! I will pay top dollar to watch. LOTN @ Otaku-Incel.org
bruh
Does it have to be a German Shepard? Is a different Dog breed OK?
That was my first concern also
The fuck is wrong with you
I can get you only some of those things lmao.
Any femboy,sissy or girl wanna trade pics text me on
Kik-DDomino756
Snap-domino5098
I’m gunna cry he actually died
Yes
Cum
JOI IRL
any very old daddys here my kik is deinesohr
Well fucking shit Shad actually died
Wait really?
Yes
He posted on Twitter 3 days ago you fucking autist, stop spreading bullshit
5000 lets go
Me sees BTS oppa OwO 😱 OMG OMG!!!! It’s the BTS idol Taehyung!!!! >w///w~///w/////////< why must it be a dream :"(((( 😭😭😭💔💔
lezgoooo
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEO
5,000 here we come
5,000 Ho
We are getting closer to 5000 comments! Let’s keep it going!
ee Movie Script – Dialogue Transcript
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
– Barry?
– Adam?
– Oan you believe this is happening?
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
– You got lint on your fuzz.
– Ow! That’s me!
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
– Hey, Adam.
– Hey, Barry.
– Is that fuzz gel?
– A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I’d make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
– Hi, Barry.
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
– Hear about Frankie?
– Yeah.
– You going to the funeral?
– No, I’m not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That’s why we don’t need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
– We are!
– Bee-men.
– Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
…9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it’s just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
– A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
Honey!
– That girl was hot.
– She’s my cousin!
– She is?
– Yes, we’re all cousins.
– Right. You’re right.
– At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
– What do you think he makes?
– Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
– What does that do?
– Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
What’s the difference?
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you’ll just work us to death?
We’ll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
– Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
– Wow.
I’ve never seen them this close.
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
– Hey, Jocks!
– Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
– I wonder where they were.
– I don’t know.
Their day’s not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
– Oouple of Hive Harrys.
– Let’s have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
– Oh, my!
– I never thought I’d knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
– Six miles, huh?
– Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
– Maybe I am.
– You are not!
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you’re interested in?
– Well, there’s a lot of choices.
– But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
– Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
– I’m not trying to be funny.
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
– You’re gonna be a stirrer?
– No one’s listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
I’m so proud.
– We’re starting work today!
– Today’s the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
– Is it still available?
– Hang on. Two left!
One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
– What’d you get?
– Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
– You want to go first?
– No, you go.
Oh, my. What’s available?
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
– Any chance of getting the Krelman?
– Sure, you’re on.
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey’s always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
Barry!
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
What happened to you?
Where are you?
– I’m going out.
– Out? Out where?
– Out there.
– Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
– Look at that.
– Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
– Thank you.
– OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
– That’s awful.
– And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
– Antennae, check.
– Nectar pack, check.
– Wings, check.
– Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let’s move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I’m out!
I can’t believe I’m out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
– Ever see pollination up close?
– No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
– Guys!
– This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama’s little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don’t think these are flowers.
– Should we tell him?
– I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There’s a bee in the car!
– Do something!
– I’m driving!
– Hi, bee.
– He’s back here!
He’s going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Oan’t fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What’s number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don’t go for that…
…kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don’t kill him!
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
– Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
– Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
– You could put carob chips on there.
– Bye.
– Supposed to be less calories.
– Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’ve got to.
Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can’t.
How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I’m sorry.
– You’re talking.
– Yes, I know.
You’re talking!
I’m so sorry.
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn’t for you…
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
– I’m talking with a bee.
– Yeah.
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
– Wait! How did you learn to do that?
– What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
– That’s very funny.
– Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway…
Oan I…
…get you something?
– Like what?
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
I don’t want to put you out.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
– It’s just coffee.
– I hate to impose.
– Don’t be ridiculous!
– Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
– I shouldn’t.
– Have some.
– No, I can’t.
– Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
– Where?
– These stripes don’t help.
You look great!
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
Is that a bee joke?
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don’t know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
– You do?
– Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
– Really?
– My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look…
There’s my hive right there. See it?
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
– Why do girls put rings on their toes?
– Why not?
– It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
– Maybe I’ll try that.
– You all right, ma’am?
– Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
Are you…?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
– Thanks!
– Yeah.
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again… for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
This can’t possibly work.
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
– Sounds amazing.
– It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
– Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
– Some of them. But some of them don’t.
– How’d you get back?
– Poodle.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
– Well…
– Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
– A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
– No, no, no, not a wasp.
– Spider?
– I’m not attracted to spiders.
I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can’t get by that face.
So who is she?
She’s… human.
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
– Her name’s Vanessa.
– Oh, boy.
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
We’re not dating.
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
– They call it a crumb.
– It was so stingin’ stripey!
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
– You know what a Oinnabon is?
– No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
Sit down!
…really hot!
– Listen to me!
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I’m talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
Don’t be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
– We’re still here.
– I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
– Then why yell at me?
– Because you don’t listen!
I’m not listening to this.
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
– Where are you going?
– I’m meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
Bye.
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
– What is wrong with you?!
– It’s a bug.
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
– I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
– I’ll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
– Is he that actor?
– I never heard of him.
– Why is this here?
– For people. We eat it.
You don’t have
enough food of your own?
– Well, yes.
– How do you get it?
– Bees make it.
– I know who makes it!
And it’s hard to make it!
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
– It’s organic.
– It’s our-ganic!
It’s just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
– You almost done?
– Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I’m going to Tacoma.
– And you?
– He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
– What is that?!
– Oh, no!
– A wiper! Triple blade!
– Triple blade?
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
But don’t kill no more bugs!
– Bee!
– Moose blood guy!!
– You hear something?
– Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
I mean, that honey’s ours.
– Bees hang tight.
– We’re all jammed in.
It’s a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
– What if you get in trouble?
– You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
– Hey, guys!
– Mooseblood!
I knew I’d catch y’all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
– Oheck out the new smoker.
– Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
Oh, my!
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
That’s a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He’s been talking to humans.
– What?
– Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
– You wish you could.
– Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
– That would hurt.
– No.
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
– Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
– And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It’s a common name. Next week…
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
Next week…
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ’em.
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
– Is that that same bee?
– Yes, it is!
I’m helping him sue the human race.
– Hello.
– Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
’cause we’re really busy working.
But it’s our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
– Frosting…
– How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you’re three.
And artificial flowers.
– Oh, those just get me psychotic!
– Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
– This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
– I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
– What’s the matter?
– I don’t know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
’cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
– No.
– I couldn’t hear you.
– No.
– No.
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They’re very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
– Where have I heard it before?
– I was with a band called The Police.
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven’t.
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
– Order in this court!
– You’re all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
– Say it!
– Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury’s on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I’m a florist.
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
– Ken!
– Hello.
I didn’t think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I’ve just about had it
with your little mind games.
– What’s that?
– Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I’ve got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
– You’re bluffing.
– Am I?
Surf’s up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
We need to talk!
He’s just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I’m sorry about all that.
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
Yeah.
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
– You got the tweezers?
– Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We’re friends.
– Good friends?
– Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute…
Are you her little…
…bedbug?
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
– Yeah, but…
– So those aren’t your real parents!
– Oh, Barry…
– Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
He’s denouncing bees!
Don’t y’all date your cousins?
– Objection!
– I’m going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
Oh, I’m hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
– Adam, stay with me.
– I can’t feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
– Hey, buddy.
– Hey.
– Is there much pain?
– Yeah.
I…
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can’t explain it. It was all…
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don’t know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
– Why?
– The smoke.
Bees don’t smoke.
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That’s it! That’s our case!
It is? It’s not over?
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about…
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It’s a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
– What are we gonna do?
– He’s playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I’m OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You’ll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
– What if Montgomery’s right?
– What do you mean?
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
…unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan’t breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
– I think we need to shut down!
– Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We’re shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
– Are they out celebrating?
– They’re home.
They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now…
Now I can’t.
I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
– What did you want to show me?
– This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They’re all wilting.
Doesn’t look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That’s our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course…
The human species?
So if there’s no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
– I’ll sting you, you step on me.
– Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
– Roses are flowers!
– Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
Actually, it’s completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don’t want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
– Bees.
– Park.
– Pollen!
– Flowers.
– Repollination!
– Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It’s real.
Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
– Where should I sit?
– What are you?
– I believe I’m the pea.
– The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
– Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
– I’m getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
…without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
– You and your insect pack your float?
– Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
– Remove your stinger.
– It’s part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It’s got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
– What’d you say, Hal?
– Nothing.
Bee!
Don’t freak out! My entire species…
What are you doing?
– Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
– Who’s an attorney?
Don’t move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
– Is that another bee joke?
– No!
No one’s flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
Where’s the pilot?
He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
– Who’s that?
– Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
I can’t fly a plane.
– Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
– Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
That’s Barry!
…is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They’ve done enough damage.
But isn’t he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small…
Haven’t we heard this a million times?
“The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
– Get this on the air!
– Got it.
– Stand by.
– We’re going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow!
– Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
– Hover?
– Forget hover.
This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
– That may have been helping me.
– And now we’re not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don’t have to yell.
I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
I can’t do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– You snap out of it!
– Hold it!
– Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don’t know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
– Black and yellow.
– Hello.
All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
– Thinking bee.
– Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
– What?
– I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– What in the world is on the tarmac?
– Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
– Vanessa, aim for the flower.
– OK.
Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
– Not that flower! The other one!
– Which one?
– That flower.
– I’m aiming at the flower!
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
– This is insane, Barry!
– This’s the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
– Yes. No high-five!
– Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
– Thank you.
– But we’re not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We’re bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You’ve earned this.
Yeah!
I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That’s our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I’m late.
He’s a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
– When will this nightmare end?!
– Let it all go.
– Beautiful day to fly.
– Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
– Thinking bee!
– Me?
Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
He’s not the hero we deserve, but he’s the one we need right now.
Hey Shad can you make a comic about Zoe Quinn? It’s been 6 years since she fucked Five Guys Burgers And Fries for fame that created GamerGate. And 1 year since she drove Alec Holowka to suicide.
Road to 5k
Why has the chat devolved into erotic stories??
Rip, you will be missed
Shad fucking died.
When the world needed him
The most he vanished
So it’s all over, huh?
Hi
Well, the secret between Mom and me is out, at least to
Amy. It happened last night.
I’ve been seeing Amy for several months now. She’s a
great girl, and so enthusiastic about scat. But I hadn’t
told her the truth about how I got into it , because I was
afraid it would shock her too much. Yesterday, I finally
brought her home to meet Mom.
We arrived at Mom’s house about noon, and to my relief
the two of them hit it off right away. All three of us
talked up a storm over lunch, and then we went out together
for some shopping and a movie. I was so pleased to see how
they instantly connected in so many ways, almost like a
mother and daughter who hadn’t seen each other for sometime.
When we got back, Mom offered to just stay home and
have dinner by herself if we wanted to go out and spend some
time alone, but both of us protested that we were having too
much fun with her. We decided to all stay in and cook dinner
together. Mom and Amy cooked, and we had a great dinner, all
of which took hours and hours, though the time went by like
minutes. We drank a couple bottles of wine, and had a nice
buzz on.
Then Mom said she’d go to bed and leave us kids alone.
We protested, but she wouldn’t listen. She’d just pop into
the shower and then read for awhile in her room. The rest of
the house was ours she said, and she went in for her shower.
Both Amy and me wanted to fuck in front of the fireplace,
but she was nervous about Mom. I told her not to worry, Mom
would leave us alone and we could do anything we wanted —
even play with scat. Amy was skeptical, but she got into her
nightie and I put a robe on in preparation for our fun. We
lit a fire in the fireplace, turned out the lights and got
some cheese and more wine.
Just as we were about to settle down for some delicious
filthy fucking, I heard Mom coming out of the bathroom. She
called out “good night” to us from around the corner, and
Amy called “good night” back, but I shouted for Mom to come
in and give us kisses goodnight.
She came into the living room, wrapped in her thick
white terry cloth robe. I got a peck on the cheek and then
she gave Amy a hug and a kiss good night.
“Mom,” I said, “at least sit down and have one more
glass of wine with us before you go to bed!”
She hesitated, but Amy grabbed her hand and pulled her
down on the floor with us. We poured her a glass of wine and
she stretched out in front of the fire. We talked, about the
day, the movie we’d seen, old love affairs — whatever came
to our minds and hearts. Mom stretched out on her side in
front of the fire, supporting her head in one hand, elbow to
the floor, holding her wine glass in the other hand. We
drank and nibbled on cheese, feeling more and more relaxed
and free with each other.
At one point, she shifted to get more comfortable, and
her robe fell open from her feet nearly to her crotch,
exposing her lovely firm thighs. Amy tried to avert her
eyes, but they kept returning to Mom’s legs, and the barely
concealed triangle of fur that marked their culmination.
Now, I said to myself, is the time to give Amy a hint
of the truth about my relationship with my Mother. I reached
out for Mom’s robe, certain that Amy would assume I was
going to pull it closed around her out of modesty, but
instead let my hand fall on Mom’s leg. I stroked her absent-
mindedly, which caused not the slightest interruption in
Mom’s conversation. In fact, I thought I detected a slight
spreading of her legs, and so encouraged, by her or by my
own desires, caressed her leg further up, along her inner
thigh.
My eyes met Amy’s, and acknowledged the truth of the
suspicion that leaped into her mind. Her face told me she
couldn’t believe what she was seeing, that it was too
impossible to be true, that she must be misunderstanding
what was happening. I squashed Amy’s doubts but pushing
Mom’s robe further apart, and openly petting my darling
mother’s soft, dense, furry love box. Mom’s breathing
deepened ever so slightly, and she spread her legs a bit
further apart and thrust her hips forward, undeniably
assisting me in my efforts.
All this time, our conversation had continued, so
uninterrupted that a tape recording of it would have
revealed nothing of what was actually happening, would not
have captured the slightest evidence of any disturbance or
uneasiness between us.
Mom and Amy looked at each, Mom’s eyes revealing all,
pleading for Amy’s understanding and acceptance, or at the
very least tolerance. Amy’s eyes responding unmistakably,
with a surge of love and completely embracing the
relationship this woman had established with her son. It had
taken only a split second for Mom’s eyes to pose this
question, and for Amy’s to respond. No words were
necessary.
Mom put her wine glass down and extended an arm to Amy,
inviting her to come close. Amy leaned over and the two
women, my Mom and my girlfriend, kissed — sweetly,
tenderly, longingly, passionately, their mouths
communicating the reality of what the eyes only hinted at.
They touched, tasted, then devoured each other, their mouths
and tongues and lips interpenetrating as no other organs
could.
Finally, they broke their embrace. A little tipsy, Amy
got to her feet.
“Be right back. Have to tinkle,” she said.
Mom took her hand, holding her back.
“Don’t go, you’ll break the mood.”
“There’ll be a mess on the floor if I don’t,” Amy
laughed.
Mom tossed off the last of her wine and handed the
empty glass to Amy.
“Use this.”
Amy looked at me, her eyes wide. I smiled “yes” to her.
A bit uncertain, she squatted in front of us and positioned
the wine glass between her legs, the rim just touching her
beautiful mound. Mom was transfixed. I felt a rush of
wetness over my fingers from Mom’s pussy, and gently twisted
two fingers deeper into her. Amy concentrated on her
business, but as the pee started to trickle out into the
glass, confirming her aim, she looked up to see the pure
lust animating Mom’s face and my fingers turning inside her
pussy. Amy’s hand trembled. Amy’s stream surged, and the
loud splash of swirling golden fluid mixed with the fire’s
crackling. The nectar foamed, and the delightfully piquant
smell of ammonia wafted over us. My hand was soaked with
juices from Mom’s pussy, and with a suppressed moan she
came, spasmodically clutching my fingers inside her.
Amy’s stream trickled to a stop, and she squeezed the
last few drops out with her fingers. Amy looked for an out-
of-the-way spot to set the glass down, but Mom intervened.
“Don’t I get my glass back?” she said.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Mrs. –”
“Now, I thought we’d agreed. My name is Gloria — or if
you like, you can call me Mom. After that kiss, I feel as
close to you as a daughter.”
Amy handed Mom the glass.
“Thank you — Mom.”
Mom brought the glass to her nose and inhaled deeply.
The effervescent pee sparkled in the fire light, reflections
from the glass and urine dancing over my mother’s face. She
took a sip, her red lips dipping into the steaming fresh
brew. Her eyes closed, savoring the flavor. She rolled a
mouthful around on her tongue, then swallowed.
“Oh my,” she said softly, “wonderful, just wonderful.
The first taste tells so much, don’t you think?”
I reached for the glass. The aroma of Amy’s pee, which
I knew so well already, filled my nose. I took a sip, and a
bouquet of new flavors emerged, set off by the fire, Mom’s
presence and the feelings circulating between us. I passed
the glass to Amy. She raised it to us in salute, then
sipped. We passed the glass around until it was drained.
The warmth of the fire, the soothing wine, and Amy’s
salute encouraged us to shed our few garments and indulge
ourselves in a round of petting, caressing and kissing. We
snuggled closer, the better to reach each other, and
explored.
To give Amy a special treat, Mom and I fell into each
other’s embrace, and hugged and caressed and kissed in ways
that few mothers and sons have the privilege to enjoy. We
were at our most tender with each other, and also our
fiercest, stroking and touching and intertwining limbs and
hands and mouths and tongues. Amy sat back at this moment,
leaving the two of us to pour out our passion for each
other, witnessing the love that was possible when two people
of the same flesh acknowledged and released the desire that
was born the moment the one gave birth to the other. Mom and
I restrained ourselves from the ultimate consummation,
however, in unspoken mutual agreement, reserving that for
later, after our main objective of the evening had been
accomplished.
Mom and Amy were playing with my cock, sucking it and
sharing my balls — and each other’s wet mouths and tongues,
when I began to caress Mom’s back and buttocks. Leaving off
my cock, she curled her body around and pushed her ass up
against me hand in encouragement. I petted her lovely round
bottom, kneaded the two cheeks, ran my hand between them and
pulled them apart. Mom responded, pulling her knees under
her, thrusting her ass up into the air, toward the warming
fire.
Amy joined me, admiring my Mom’s bottom, caressing her
butt cheeks, her thighs, and fondling her swollen pussy,
staring back at us, wet and open and luscious. The site of
that sloppy open passage, the one through which I’d come
into the world, always sent my cock throbbing with hot
desire. I’d doggy fucked Mom many times over the years, but
the sight of her rounded ass and slim waist below me urged
me to mount her yet again, but I held off, our objective
literally within smelling distance.
I slipped a pillow to Mom for her head, and she lowered
her shoulders to the floor, presenting us with the most cock-
/ cunt-warming view imaginable. Amy and I positioned
ourselves on opposite sides of her ass. Together, we pulled
Mom’s ass cheeks apart and gazed at her lovely dark, deep
hole. It has long ago lost its smooth girlish pinkness — a
smooth pink I remember from boyhood — and now was
permanently crinkled and stained a deep lovely brown. Mom
complained about this, but I always assured her it made her
hole even lovelier to my eyes.
Amy bent her head and kissed that delicious bum-hole.
Mom shivered as the warm wetness of Amy’s mouth and tongue
made contact with her flesh. Amy licked, showing me her
tongue sliding up and down in Mom’s crack, from pussy to
nearly the small of her back. I stroke Amy’s back as she
licked Mom, down around Amy’s own ass, fingering her hole
and then her pussy. Amy pressed her tongue into Mom’s hole,
twisting it in, thrusting it in and out. Mom moaned in
pleasure at Amy’s expert rimming. My girl friend came up for
air, and I immediately put my mouth to her, sucking and
licking the taste of my own mother’s hole from her mouth.
Then it was my turn. I breathed lightly on Mom’s anus
to announce my presence, then a rapid series of light kisses
all around it. Next, very light flicks of the tongue,
teasing her hole in a way that years of experience told me
would drive her wild. Amy could see we were long time lovers
of each other’s bodies. Then, I tasted deeply, pressing my
tongue hard against that brown crinkled hole of dark desire,
flecks of bitterness bursting on my tongue and dissolving
with the promise of more to come. I reached in with my
tongue, felt her hole relax, pulled her hips tightly to me,
and dove into her rectal chamber. Something stirred inside,
just out of reach, her turn to tease me now. I sucked to
pull it forward, but she held it back, giggling at her
trick. I uncorked my tongue from her ass, and Amy went for
my mouth, her turn now to suck Mom’s dirt-taste from my
mouth. After a minute, I pulled away and whispered to Amy:
“Finger her love.”
She wet a finger in her mouth and then slipped it into
Mom’s ass. Mom groaned as Amy twisted her finger in deep.
“Find anything?” I asked.
“Yes!” she breathed back at me, looking up. She twisted
her finger inside Mom, then carefully pulled out. A soft
dark brown gob of excrement clung to the tip. She was going
to pop it into her mouth quickly, so Mom wouldn’t see, but I
grabbed her hand to stop her.
“Mom,” I called gently, “look at this.” I pulled Amy’s
hand around so Mom could see it as she looked back. Amy
resisted, thinking how ashamed she would feel when my Mom
expressed shock and disgust.
But instead, Mom smiled a lovely lustful shit-eating
grin and licked her lips.
“Give it to her baby,” I said to Amy. Amy extended her
hand and Mom turned around, took it in her own and pulled
the dirty finger into her mouth. The secret was out — Mom
was a shit-eater just like her son.
Mom gazed right into Amy’s eyes as she sucked on her
finger. Amy was a bit shell-shocked I think, taken
completely by surprise by the turn of events. Finally Mom
gave Amy her finger back.
“Mom, I hope there’s more where that came from,” I said
to her. Mom looked at Amy to gauge her reaction, then nodded
her head.
“It’s OK, Mom,” I said. She put her head back down on
the pillow, and tightened her muscles. I stroked Mom’s ass
again, drawing Amy’s attention to Mom’s anus.
Both of us gazed at the puckering ring, gaping open
then squeezing tight again. Amy’s breathing deepened until
she was almost gasping. I stroked her, reassured her that
what was happening was real. Mom strained, then took a
breath and pushed. A grunt escaped her lips. Her hole gaped
open, and the tip of a turd appeared briefly before
disappearing again.
And that’s the moment the Madness descended on us. Mom
and I called it “the Scat Madness” or just “the Madness” for
short. You cross the line, the point of no return, and mad,
perverted, unstoppable, unimaginably perverted lust has you
in it’s grip. The Madness is so exhilarating, so all-
consuming, so transporting, you’re propelled forward into
acts and pleasures that, once the Madness has passed, seem
completely depraved and repulsive. The Madness is a rare
drug, but a powerful one. Once you’ve experienced the
Madness and the heights — or rather depths — to which it
brings you, every other experience, whether religious,
pharmacological, or physical can compare.
At the sight of my mother, bent over, ass in the air,
her anus oozing this thick luscious mass of excrement into
the faces of her son and his girlfriend, the Madness
descended, circulating in a heartbeat between the three of
us, sweeping us away together to fuck knew where.
“We saw it, Mom,” I said, “keep pushing.”
“What did you see, baby,” she whispered back to me.
“Your turd, Mom, a lovely firm turd for me and Amy.”
“Ohhhhhhh,” escaped from Amy’s lips.
Mom pushed again, and a lovely glistening ball pushed
up into her hole.
“Do you want me to lick it?” I asked Amy. She nodded
yes.
I leaned down, my tongue out and touched the protruding
brown cap. I ran my tongue over it, tasting the velvety
smooth coating, feeling the thickening layer building up on
my tongue. Mom held it in place as long as she could, then
relaxed, and the turd disappeared again into her bowels.
I showed Amy my tongue and she sucked it.
“Your turn next lover,” I said to her.
Mom pushed again, a long sustained push, and the turd
reappeared, thick and firm, flowering out of her dark hole.
She held it in place, protruding several inches out of her
anus. Amy leaned down and avidly licked at the dark brown
mass, glistening in the firelight. Mom pushed a bit more.
Amy, her mouth wide open, dove down engulfing the thick
pillar of excrement.
“Amy’s sucking your turd, Mom,” I said. “She’s sucking
it just like she sucks my shitty cock after I ass fuck her.”
“Oh yes, suck it Amy, taste my shit in your mouth
darling,” Mom gasped.
Amy pulled up, her teeth dragging along the chocolate
cylinder, cutting grooves in it as the shit curled into her
mouth. Amy’s lips were thick with filth, her lips dripping
with shit liquefying in her mouth. She was in heaven,
savoring the heavy, rich, spice excreted by Mom’s bowels.
She rubbed her fingers on her lips, smearing the shit over
them, pushing it into her mouth.
Mom looked back, on fire at the site of this beautiful
young girl’s lips and face smeared with her own feces, at
the sight of Amy licking her lips with so much obvious
pleasure and perverted lust. Mom pulled Amy to her, to her
mouth, and they locked lips, licking and sucking each other,
sharing the depraved joy of tasting and eating and sharing
shit.
I couldn’t restrain myself any longer. I leaned down
and put my own mouth to Mom’s excrement. While Mom and Amy
cleaned their mouths out with each other’s tongues, I
smoothed out the grooves in Mom’s massive turd.
“Oh,” Mom whispered, “I can’t hold it any longer. It’s
coming out.”
Thinking fast, Amy reached for the cheese plate. I
pushed Mom’s bottom down and Amy held the plate under Mom’s
hole.
“This way we can all share it,” Amy said, grinning. Mom
looked back, smiling in return.
Mom pushed. The thick log, stretching Mom’s hole to the
point where she groaned in discomfort, inched out. Amy
pressed the edge of the plate to Mom’s buttocks, to catch
the turd and support it. The log slid out onto the plate,
like a dark steaming glacier, picking up slices of cheese as
it went. Finally, with a groan from Mom, the end of the turd
emerged and the whole turd plopped onto the plate.
Mom’s hole gasped open, pulsated and throbbed, and
slowly, ever so slowly began to close. Her anus was ringed
with shit that curled off the turd as Mom pushed it out. As
Amy put the plate down, I inserted my finger into Mom’s
hole. It was still so wide open I could put my finger all
the way in without touching the inside of her sphincter. I
put my mouth to her hole, inserted my tongue, and waited as
her muscle contracted, closing around my tongue. Playfully,
Mom squeezed her bottom, gripping my tongue, then expelling
it. I quickly attacked back, wildly licking at her asshole,
polishing it clean with my tongue.
Mom sat up, stretched like a cat, and broke into a big
grin. Amy and I joined her, showing off our dark brown lips
and the bits of shit stuck between our teeth.
Now it was time to relax and gather ourselves. We sat
in a tight circle in front of the fire, the plate on the
floor at the center of our ring. I opened another bottle of
wine — a fortissimo Barolo to match the spicy richness of
Mom’s excrement — and refilled everyone’s glass. We cut
thick slices from Mom’s steaming log, placed them on
crackers with a slice of cheese and fed each other. Each
morsel was followed by a kiss, more often than not a tongue
slipping into the other’s mouth, chasing after the foul
canapé.
We actually said very little, certainly not the high-
spirited chattering of before, but simply luxuriated in each
other’s presence. A touch or caress here, a look there, and
much kissing. Amy and I made many appreciative comments
about Mom’s dropping. The smells of our filthy play filled
the room — and our nostrils as we munched. The fire burned
lower, and I tossed another log on to the grate.
We talked about our experiences. Amy told us how she’d
gotten into scat play, and Mom told her about us. Amy was a
bit shocked at how young I’d been when Mom started scat play
with me, but seeing that Mom and me were obviously so close
and loving put her mind at ease.
Finally, the plate was clean. We swished the last of
the wine around in our mouths to clean them.
“How are you two doing?” Mom asked. “Tired? Feeling
queasy at all?”
We shook our heads.
“You should be the one to be tired, not us!” Amy said.
“I’m not that old!” Mom laughed. “I’d like to play some
more, if you two are up to it.”
We both smiled and reached for a kiss.
“Now, who’s next? Who can’t wait another minute?” Mom
asked.
Amy and I looked at each other. We both raised our
hands at the same time, and everyone burst out laughing.
“I have to pee,” I said.
“I have to poop,” Amy said.
“OK, OK,” Mom said, shaking her head. “I’d better
resolve this before we get into real trouble!”
Amy and I immediately agreed to abide completely by
Mom’s decision. After a moment’s thought, Mom ruled that
peeing was a more urgent matter than pooping, so I got the
nod. But, Mom said, as not to inconvenience Amy any longer
than necessary — or delay our pleasure in Amy’s excrement –
– we’d do it in a way that quickly disposed of the issue.
With that Mom instructed me to stand in front of the
fire. She and Amy kneeled in front of me, cheek to cheek,
mouths open under my cock. The sight of the two lovely women
on their knees in front of my cock, waiting eagerly for its
nectar, made my me stiffen, but I quelled the raging beast
so as not to frustrate their desire. I relaxed my bladder,
and a steaming yellow stream jumped from my cock into Amy’s
gaping mouth. Mom hugged her, and watched as Amy’s mouth
filled to nearly overflowing.
With a flick of the wrist I redirected the heavy stream
to Mom’s thirsty mouth. Mom looked up at me, our eyes met as
my hot salty urine splashed against the back of her throat.
In all the years of pleasuring each other this way, more
than I could remember, given my age when she first tasted my
piss, we had never shared our perverted love with another
human being. Both us felt the specialness of the moment, and
sang silent prayers of gratitude that we had found Amy.
Mom’s mouth filled, overflowed, spilling golden pee down her
chin, and with a flick I was back filling Amy’s mouth.
Each got two full mouthfuls before my stream sputtered
and weakened. I sent the final ounces splashing over the two
upturned faces. After I’d shaken loose the last drops, Mom
and Amy licked each other’s faces clean like two cats.
And now it was Amy’s turn. Mom laughed, and playfully
pushed Amy by the shoulders, toppling her over onto her
back. I joined in, grabbing Amy’s ankles and pulling her
legs back, exposing my young girlfriend’s nether regions to
the firelight.
With a cry of glee, Mom dove down between the girl’s
legs, kissing and licking and sucking both orifices with
wild abandon. She was an animal let loose, the way she
attacked Amy’s openings with her mouth and tongue and
fingers.
“Shit for me baby, shit in your mom’s mouth baby,” Mom
demanded. I pulled Amy’s legs further back and further
apart, fully exposing her glorious asshole to view. Amy’s
own eyes filled with wild light. She pushed. Her hole
opened.
“I’m shittinggggggggggggg,” Amy cried out. Mom dropped
down, her face inches from Amy’s hole. A round short turd
quickly came into view, briefly paused, then popped out of
Amy’s hole. Mom caught it in her hand. She cradled it, then,
holding it so all could see the mottled brown and orange,
she gave it a fierce hungry lick.
“Yessssssssssss,” moaned Amy. Mom placed the turd on
Amy’s belly for safekeeping, then resumed her post at Amy’s
hole. Another turd, a dark orange shot through with streaks
of black, emerged and fell into Mom’s waiting hands. She
lifted her cupped hands to my face, and I licked it as
fiercely as Mom had tasted hers.
Amy shat three more turds into Mom’s hands. After a
baptismal lick and on each one, Mom placed it on Amy’s belly
until there were five smoking slimy turds on her.
“Vaughn, Mom, I want to get so fucking nasty. I want to
do the dirtiest, filthiest, most disgusting thing we can
do.”
The Madness had us in its grip. We were it’s willing
slaves and would do anything.
“Yes baby, tell me! Anything!” Mom cried.
Amy pulled Mom toward and whispered in her ear.
“Fuck,” Mom gasped. “You filthy pig! Yes!”
“What, what?” I cried.
The looks of glee and perversion on the two women’s
faces was amazing to behold.
Mom grabbed some pillows and positioned them on the
floor. She got down on her back, supported by the pillows,
her legs spread to capture the leaping fire light. Her pussy
gaped open with lust, dripped with the juices of desire.
Amy took up the role of master of ceremonies. She
pointed to one of the turds resting on her belly — the
smallest one — and instructed me to pick it up. I did.
“Kiss it,” she commanded. I did.
“Now get between your mother’s legs.” I did.
“Mom, spread your pussy lips with yoru fingers. Spread
your pussy open as far as it will go.” She did — and their
evil scheme became apparent. My cock surged.
“Vaughn, take my turd, and insert it into your mother’s
cunt.” I held the softening stinking mass to the glistening
pink of Mom’s vagina.”
“Don’t rub her with it, just push it inside her. Deep
as you can.”
I held four fingers of my hand tightly together so none
of the shit would escape and pressed against the ball of
filth from Amy’s ass. Mom pulled her pussy lips further
apart and pushed, opening her vaginal opening to the
maximum. Three pairs of depraved eyes gazed at the sight of
the turd disappearing into Mom’s pussy, with only a few
streaks of brown and orange against her pink flesh to tell
the tale.
“How does it feel, Mom?” Amy asked.
“Heavy. Warm. Nasty.” Mom nearly swooned. “More.”
Amy pointed to the next turd. This one was completely
orange, perhaps the firmest one, about four inches long. I
picked it up, kissed it, my eyes meeting Mom’s, and brought
it to her pussy.
“What are you doing baby?” she asked me.
“I’m filling your cunt with Amy’s shit, Mom.”
“The cunt where you were born, Vaughn.”
Yes, Mom. Filling your birth canal with Amy’s
excrement.”
I fed the turd into Mom’s pussy. Amy fingered herself
madly at the sight.
“Pack it in tight!” Amy commanded, barely able to
breath.
I pressed my fingers in, pushing the turd in deep,
stuffing her like a Christmas turkey with steaming, thick
poop. A third turd disappeared into her.
“Ohhhhh, its up to my womb baby,” Mom moaned as I
pushed the growing pile deeper into her. Amy handed me
another turd and took the last one for her self. She leaned
down and pressed her turd to Mom’s cunt. This one squished
and oozed through her fingers, and she had to chase after
the loose pieces to get it all into her. One more — the
largest one. I held it to Mom’s cunt, barely visible through
a thick coating of shit, and pressed it in with the palm of
my hand.
“Oh my god!” Mom groaned. “Stuff it in me, fill my cunt
and womb with shit darling!”
Amy and I chased after the loose gobs of shit and
pushed them inside. Mom’s pussy was so packed with shit now,
anytime we pressed on one side, shit oozed out the other.
“I feel it, I feel it, I feel it,” Mom moaned. “It’s so
hot, so heavy, burning up my cunt.”
My cock was about to explode. It took everything I had
to keep from spurting all over Amy and Mom with a fountain
of cum. But they were not done yet.
Amy directed me forward to where I was kneeling between
Mom’s legs. Amy pushed a pillow under Mom’s ass, raising her
shit-swollen cunt. Mom took hold of my cock, and pulled me
toward her — toward her cunt, already oozing with shit
melting from the heat of her body.
“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck my new shit hole baby!” Mom
cried.
With a cry of “mother!” I thrust forward, driving my
throbbing cock deep into the shit in her pussy, burying
myself up to her womb in thick excrement. Shit spurted out
around my cock, over my balls, spattering on her ass and
mine. Our eyes met, our lips locked together and with
another thrust into her I exploded, a wrenching orgasm
spurting hot filial sperm again and again into my mother’s
body packed with Amy’s shit. Mom shuddered, came, her
convulsions expelling half the filthy mess out and over our
bodies. Mom and I clutched each other in wild, perverted
lust, sobbing in each other’s arms, covering each other in
hot desperate kisses, devouring each other. We held each
other, rocked in each others arms, her cunt clutching my
cock, pulling me further and further inside her. Through the
fog of the Madness, I heard Amy scream as she came, ramming
her fist up into her own cunt.
I passed out in my mother’s arms.
What the actual fuck
You have properly summed this up in four words, but let me properly express what I felt reading this. *ahem* you don’t deserve to breath oxygen
While you captured my thoughts precisely, let me express my feelings as well –
You’re the reason why God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
I know right? It’s too pedestrian.
At its most thoughtful it hamfists the English language with less grace than this “Amy”.
I miss you dad :'(
He isn’t dead on twitter
look it up
He isnt fcking dead on twitter
look it up
5k 5k 5k!
still dead huh fag
lmfao calm down retard
Horny af looking for woman 😉 kik unlimitedguy
Is he fucking dead wtf
Hope everything’s going ok shad.
Hey shad, are you ok?
you will be missed shaddy daddy <3
My kik is RSFM23, I’m a femboy slut
Where is shaad?
This woefully unfunny comic has become a monolith
Kik bunnyholee for an anal slut femboy
RIP Shadman ;(
I can meet you on R and I
The P is a lot right now
“Rest in”
Lil’ obese chris turd burglar / crusty douche vacant
Why don’t you spam you’re chad daddy’s twitter?
With you inbread faggotry ‘novels’?
You proclaim to be a woman, but the fact is, your just a faggot troll
Who really needs to comit suicide
Fucking do it!
I mean, he definitely needs an English degree
And a business model of any kind
Bruh wtf happened
“Alexa” below is a Russian criminal who hopes you’ll click on his profile or enter the chatz.pw into your browser.
WANTS TO STEAL YOUR FINANCIAL INFORMATION
DO NOT EVER CLICK ANY CHATZ.PW DOMAIN LINK
ACCORDING TO SCAMADVISER.COM: Very low trust review, chatz.pw may not be safe
Facts about chatz.pw
Company data
Country Likelihood Russian Federation: 74% / Netherlands: 26%
FUCK YOU, RUSSIAN CRIMINAL. LEAVE SHADBASE. WE WILL NEVER STOP WARNING EVERYONE HERE ABOUT YOUR PHISHING WEBSITES.
I love it:
chatz.pw/video4921
Soo pretty girl!
From T-GIRL TALES #5
—-
Between the weak wine absorbing through her bowel and the overload of erotic pressure, Jen was absolutely stoned. She moaned in helpless ecstasy in between begging for release. At one point she was aware of Miss Van Dyke standing beside her and firmly massaging her asscheeks, making her weep at the almost unbearable pleasure.
She heard the headmistress say to her, “Now that you see pleasure can be punishment, you will learn that punishment can be pleasure. Clarissa and Tisha, steady the bondage horse.”
“Yes, Mistress,” they said.
A moment later, the Germanic headmistress began raining a cascade of firm spanking on her young, tender ass. Within a few minutes, Jen was sobbing. Then, strangely, the pain turned into a warm glow and added to the pleasure of her full rectum, her blue balls and the pressure of the enema pressing down on her.
A moment later she felt warmness on her tummy and chest and she realized she had lost control of her bladder in abandon to the pleasure and pain. For a second she feared the strict Miss Van Dyke would be angry, but instead the dominant woman actually sounded pleased.
Miss Van Dyke gave an order that Jen didn’t understand but soon all of the sissies who wore only cock cages in sheer panties and high heels crowded around her face. Behind each of them stood sissies in classic bra, panties, garterbelt, stockings and heels. These sissies unlocked the cock cages of the panties-only sissies. Within a minute they were jacking off toward her face.
It wasn’t long before Jen’s face was covered with sissy cum. The buttplug was switched off. Jen was still dizzy with lust and erotic sensations but she was aware of Clarissa again standing in front of her with her ten inches jutting out. She stood just out of reached on Jen’s lips.
“Please let me suck your cock, Clarissa,” Jen moaned.
“Are you saying that just because of the punishment?” the twenty-five-year-old shemale demanded. “Or do you want it?”
“I want it!” Jen cried. “I really want it!”
“Why?” Clarissa asked kindly.
“Because I’m a sissy! A cocksucking, anal-loving sissy!”
Clarissa took a step. “Maybe later.” She winked at Jen. “Good girl. Perhaps you’ll make it to advanced training.” She looked at the headmistress. “May I take her to processing?”
“Yes you may,” the headmistress said. “I’m satisfied.”
After Miss Van Dyke granted her assent, Clarissa released Jen from the bondage horse and escorted her to what looked like a medical area adjoining the large room. She took her into a toilet closet, pulled out the plug and patiently waited outside for Jen to finish emptying herself.
“Your clitty is still hard,” Clarissa observed when Jen came out. “I hope you didn’t touch it.”
“No, Clarissa.”
The lovely blonde shemale slapped her lightly. “All shemales are addressed as ‘Queen’ here. We’re easy to spot because sissies wear collars and we do not.” She gave her a look of compassion. “You will be slapped lightly the first time for any infraction. The next time will be harder.” She kissed the cheek she slapped. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, Queen. Touching my dick is against the rules?”
“Touching your clitty without permission is the one thing that earns genuine punishment. Mistress will cane your ass until you can’t sit down for days. By the way, only we shemales have cocks here. Sissies have clitties.” She took Jen by the arm. Now let’s get you a nice bath to start with.”
While the stunning blonde TS gave a gentle, loving bath to Jen, she explained the hierarchy of the boarding school. There were the babygirl sissies like Jen who were in the first month of training. The next month was spent as “biggirl” sissies, and the decision would be made for later advanced sissy lessons or shemale transformation and beginning dominatrix lessons, if indicated. Occasionally, submissive shemales were trained.
“Follow me so far, baby?”
“Yes, Queen Clarissa.”
Jen gasped loudly with pleasure as Clarissa teased the very sensitive underside of her still hard clitty head. Clarissa gave her a wicked smile and told her there was no rule against a shemale playing with a sissy’s cock for fun or reward.
“Please,” Jen begged, with tears of desire in her eyes.
Clarissa giggled. “Somebody wants to cum real bad!”
Jen nodded with pathetically pleading eyes.
“I could… but that wouldn’t be fair to the other babygirls. Nobody gets to cum for the first week here and you have to earn it when you do,” the blonde shemale explained. “So…”
She insisted on drying off the frustrated sissy, teasing her cock with the towel as she detailed the stages of training. In her first month, as a “babygirl”—her clitty locked away in a cock cage—she’d wear only panties, a collar and heels during the day. At night she’d sleep in a babydoll nightie. During the days she’d receive girl lessons: walking, moving, talking, hair and makeup. She’d learn how to wax her legs and body and do it every month. She’d get twelve hours of facial electrolysis each week.
“Electrolysis!” Jen squeaked.
“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t a true sissy or a shemale. Be grateful to never have to shave again!”
“Oh… My coc—my clitty will always be locked up?”
“Slutty little sissy,” Clarissa said with a chuckle. “All I will say is you have some wonderful things to look forward to.”
Jen looked at the stunning older shemale with gratitude and more than a little fondness. She was getting a crush on her. “Tell me about the next month—the big girl sissy training.”
“There will be plenty of time for that later. Right now let’s go pick out the panties, babydolls and high heels you’ll be wearing for the next month… and your cock cage.”
That evening, wearing panties, a plastic collar, heels and a cock cage, Jen ate her dinner on the floor out of a dog food dish while everyone else ate at three huge dining tables.
“Don’t worry,” said Clarissa, looking down from her chair. “It’s only until you complete the class on proper table manners for sissies. That class starts tomorrow for you.”
The next day, after Jen ate scrambled eggs, biscuits and crumbled bacon out of a dog food bowl in the dining room, she showed up to her first class—Feminine Walking—in transparent pink panties and the two-inch black leather pumps she was to wear for the first week, plus all of the other shoes that Clarissa helped her pick out the night before.
She was surprised to see one of the big-girl sissies was in charge of the class: Susan—a tallish brunette about 21 with a slender body and a lovely feminine face. She was very kind to all of the five sissies in the class, most of them near their ninth, final day of walking lessons.
Jen was so envious to see the ease with which many of these other babygirl sissies sashayed back and forth in heels that were four and five inches tall, swinging their hips and ass in a feminine sway. A few were clearly still getting used to the higher heels, but Jen was the only one in two inches.
With everyone watching, she walked back and forth the twenty-foot long hardwood floor, trying her best to emulate the other girls. Nobody laughed when she staggered a few times, and everyone was so helpful.
I love being a sissy. I really do, she thought.
The next class was Table Manners and Beginning Serving. Fortunately, Jen’s aunt was big on table manners and had taught Terry at an early age how to sit, use silverware and the proper conduct at the dinner table. The uniformed woman teacher, Mistress Blanche, complimented her and said she was fit to eat at the table with the other sissies, however she still had much to learn, especially about serving.
At the end of the day, when Clarissa came into the babygirl dorm to give Jen her bath, the eighteen-year-old sissy told her all about her day, and how she’d learned leg and body waxing as well as makeup lessons. There was also a housecleaning class where she learned basic maid skills.
“I’m worried about my first electrolysis session tomorrow, Jen confessed to the beautiful blonde shemale.
“They’ll put you to sleep through it,” Clarissa assured her. “I went through it too. It’s not bad. You can trust me, baby.”
Jen looked at her from the tub with such longing. “I know, Queen Clarissa. I…” She blushed and looked away.
“Okay. Now you definitely have to tell me.”
“Why… why do you keep coming to me? There must be sissies far more important than me here.”
“Because I asked to.”
“Really?” Jen asked.
“Of course. I’m going to be your big sister before long.”
The gorgeous TS explained that Jen’s psychological profile strongly indicated she had transsexual tendencies, even if it wasn’t yet clear if she’d end up a pure dominant, a sub, or a switch. In the end she might just be that most special of all sissy maids: a permanent sissy with breast implants, cosmetic surgery, and special hormones to enhance her sexual service.
“Now get out of the tub and dry yourself off,” Clarissa said. “Then get that sweet little ass to bed.”
Repost by an actual scammer
You do the Lord’s work, Russian Bot
bruh what happened to shad? he ok?
He’s a wealthy man during Covid
penis nigger nigger sex nigger nigger nigger
OY VEY, GOYIM, DIVERSITY IS YOUR STRENGTH!
when is he coming back? anyone know a date or month?
December, I think
After the election
follenme perras
Fucking faggot femboy slut looking to be ruined by some big black cocks :) Kik: femboyXOlddicks
shad if u ditched the website thats fine but at least tell us so i dont have to keep checking for another 2 months
“Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then”
Read the fuck description head ass
now I know, thanks.
Checking! For updates!
Ahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha
Chief, he’s referring to having to check the site in general
“Every now and then” bullshit
Top looking for femboys, sissies, or women to trade or do other things with. kik @SpoopyGhost77
i miss you bro
Same
How? You have all these intellectuals for company?
Hit me up with your hard cocks to trade nudes. Kik-Pleasebuymeadildo
Warning Crystal D. below is a scammer. Most of the reviews came from the same IP address, and most sales went to it as well. She is clearly trying to trick you into buying her book with false praise. Never buy!! Many reported they never even got the book at all.
So many lies in one place. Let’s addressthem all.
#1. There’s no way to tell what IP address Amazon reviews come from.
#2. Somebody publishing a book and then paying for their own writing? Are you stupid?
#3. Amazon KDP books are either Kindle or print-on-demand and sent directly from Amazon.
#4. Even if #3 wasn’t rue, Amazon would refund the money, doofus.
Such poorly crafted lies. You’re trying too hard.
Your success is evident.
Very successful writers do this.
You post work here because you are a success.
Listen to your argument: “successful companies never need to advertise.”
How stupid are you?
From T-GIRL TALES #5
—-
Between the weak wine absorbing through her bowel and the overload of erotic pressure, Jen was absolutely stoned. She moaned in helpless ecstasy in between begging for release. At one point she was aware of Miss Van Dyke standing beside her and firmly massaging her asscheeks, making her weep at the almost unbearable pleasure.
She heard the headmistress say to her, “Now that you see pleasure can be punishment, you will learn that punishment can be pleasure. Clarissa and Tisha, steady the bondage horse.”
“Yes, Mistress,” they said.
A moment later, the Germanic headmistress began raining a cascade of firm spanking on her young, tender ass. Within a few minutes, Jen was sobbing. Then, strangely, the pain turned into a warm glow and added to the pleasure of her full rectum, her blue balls and the pressure of the enema pressing down on her.
A moment later she felt warmness on her tummy and chest and she realized she had lost control of her bladder in abandon to the pleasure and pain. For a second she feared the strict Miss Van Dyke would be angry, but instead the dominant woman actually sounded pleased.
Miss Van Dyke gave an order that Jen didn’t understand but soon all of the sissies who wore only cock cages in sheer panties and high heels crowded around her face. Behind each of them stood sissies in classic bra, panties, garterbelt, stockings and heels. These sissies unlocked the cock cages of the panties-only sissies. Within a minute they were jacking off toward her face.
It wasn’t long before Jen’s face was covered with sissy cum. The buttplug was switched off. Jen was still dizzy with lust and erotic sensations but she was aware of Clarissa again standing in front of her with her ten inches jutting out. She stood just out of reached on Jen’s lips.
“Please let me suck your cock, Clarissa,” Jen moaned.
“Are you saying that just because of the punishment?” the twenty-five-year-old shemale demanded. “Or do you want it?”
“I want it!” Jen cried. “I really want it!”
“Why?” Clarissa asked kindly.
“Because I’m a sissy! A cocksucking, anal-loving sissy!”
Clarissa took a step. “Maybe later.” She winked at Jen. “Good girl. Perhaps you’ll make it to advanced training.” She looked at the headmistress. “May I take her to processing?”
“Yes you may,” the headmistress said. “I’m satisfied.”
After Miss Van Dyke granted her assent, Clarissa released Jen from the bondage horse and escorted her to what looked like a medical area adjoining the large room. She took her into a toilet closet, pulled out the plug and patiently waited outside for Jen to finish emptying herself.
“Your clitty is still hard,” Clarissa observed when Jen came out. “I hope you didn’t touch it.”
“No, Clarissa.”
The lovely blonde shemale slapped her lightly. “All shemales are addressed as ‘Queen’ here. We’re easy to spot because sissies wear collars and we do not.” She gave her a look of compassion. “You will be slapped lightly the first time for any infraction. The next time will be harder.” She kissed the cheek she slapped. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, Queen. Touching my dick is against the rules?”
“Touching your clitty without permission is the one thing that earns genuine punishment. Mistress will cane your ass until you can’t sit down for days. By the way, only we shemales have cocks here. Sissies have clitties.” She took Jen by the arm. Now let’s get you a nice bath to start with.”
While the stunning blonde TS gave a gentle, loving bath to Jen, she explained the hierarchy of the boarding school. There were the babygirl sissies like Jen who were in the first month of training. The next month was spent as “biggirl” sissies, and the decision would be made for later advanced sissy lessons or shemale transformation and beginning dominatrix lessons, if indicated. Occasionally, submissive shemales were trained.
“Follow me so far, baby?”
“Yes, Queen Clarissa.”
Jen gasped loudly with pleasure as Clarissa teased the very sensitive underside of her still hard clitty head. Clarissa gave her a wicked smile and told her there was no rule against a shemale playing with a sissy’s cock for fun or reward.
“Please,” Jen begged, with tears of desire in her eyes.
Clarissa giggled. “Somebody wants to cum real bad!”
Jen nodded with pathetically pleading eyes.
“I could… but that wouldn’t be fair to the other babygirls. Nobody gets to cum for the first week here and you have to earn it when you do,” the blonde shemale explained. “So…”
She insisted on drying off the frustrated sissy, teasing her cock with the towel as she detailed the stages of training. In her first month, as a “babygirl”—her clitty locked away in a cock cage—she’d wear only panties, a collar and heels during the day. At night she’d sleep in a babydoll nightie. During the days she’d receive girl lessons: walking, moving, talking, hair and makeup. She’d learn how to wax her legs and body and do it every month. She’d get twelve hours of facial electrolysis each week.
“Electrolysis!” Jen squeaked.
“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t a true sissy or a shemale. Be grateful to never have to shave again!”
“Oh… My coc—my clitty will always be locked up?”
“Slutty little sissy,” Clarissa said with a chuckle. “All I will say is you have some wonderful things to look forward to.”
Jen looked at the stunning older shemale with gratitude and more than a little fondness. She was getting a crush on her. “Tell me about the next month—the big girl sissy training.”
“There will be plenty of time for that later. Right now let’s go pick out the panties, babydolls and high heels you’ll be wearing for the next month… and your cock cage.”
That evening, wearing panties, a plastic collar, heels and a cock cage, Jen ate her dinner on the floor out of a dog food dish while everyone else ate at three huge dining tables.
“Don’t worry,” said Clarissa, looking down from her chair. “It’s only until you complete the class on proper table manners for sissies. That class starts tomorrow for you.”
The next day, after Jen ate scrambled eggs, biscuits and crumbled bacon out of a dog food bowl in the dining room, she showed up to her first class—Feminine Walking—in transparent pink panties and the two-inch black leather pumps she was to wear for the first week, plus all of the other shoes that Clarissa helped her pick out the night before.
She was surprised to see one of the big-girl sissies was in charge of the class: Susan—a tallish brunette about 21 with a slender body and a lovely feminine face. She was very kind to all of the five sissies in the class, most of them near their ninth, final day of walking lessons.
Jen was so envious to see the ease with which many of these other babygirl sissies sashayed back and forth in heels that were four and five inches tall, swinging their hips and ass in a feminine sway. A few were clearly still getting used to the higher heels, but Jen was the only one in two inches.
With everyone watching, she walked back and forth the twenty-foot long hardwood floor, trying her best to emulate the other girls. Nobody laughed when she staggered a few times, and everyone was so helpful.
I love being a sissy. I really do, she thought.
The next class was Table Manners and Beginning Serving. Fortunately, Jen’s aunt was big on table manners and had taught Terry at an early age how to sit, use silverware and the proper conduct at the dinner table. The uniformed woman teacher, Mistress Blanche, complimented her and said she was fit to eat at the table with the other sissies, however she still had much to learn, especially about serving.
At the end of the day, when Clarissa came into the babygirl dorm to give Jen her bath, the eighteen-year-old sissy told her all about her day, and how she’d learned leg and body waxing as well as makeup lessons. There was also a housecleaning class where she learned basic maid skills.
“I’m worried about my first electrolysis session tomorrow, Jen confessed to the beautiful blonde shemale.
“They’ll put you to sleep through it,” Clarissa assured her. “I went through it too. It’s not bad. You can trust me, baby.”
Jen looked at her from the tub with such longing. “I know, Queen Clarissa. I…” She blushed and looked away.
“Okay. Now you definitely have to tell me.”
“Why… why do you keep coming to me? There must be sissies far more important than me here.”
“Because I asked to.”
“Really?” Jen asked.
“Of course. I’m going to be your big sister before long.”
The gorgeous TS explained that Jen’s psychological profile strongly indicated she had transsexual tendencies, even if it wasn’t yet clear if she’d end up a pure dominant, a sub, or a switch. In the end she might just be that most special of all sissy maids: a permanent sissy with breast implants, cosmetic surgery, and special hormones to enhance her sexual service.
“Now get out of the tub and dry yourself off,” Clarissa said. “Then get that sweet little ass to bed.”
Die
more from T-GIRL TALES #5 – the story continues!
————
By the end of the week, Jen had made remarkable progress in all of her classes. She’d proven a quick study at walking in heels, graduating to three-inch heels four days ahead of schedule. Her maid skills had become so impressive, Mistress Blanche said she might get to serve early in the rooms that the female staff lived in. Also, she proved a natural with makeup. She seemed to have an innate sense of bringing out beauty.
On Friday nights before dinner there was a gathering in the big room. This was when punishments were given out, as were rewards. Jen took a place in the row of forty babygirls kneeling before thirty seated big-girls, while twenty shemales stood behind them all. Everyone faced the dominant women.
“What shall we do first tonight?” Miss Dan Dyke asked. “Shall it be punishment or reward?” She smiled to herself.
The headmistress sat in a throne-like chair. Four of the dominatrix instructors stood on each side of the throne, all of them uniformed like Van Dyke. Each clenched a riding crop.
“Sissy Jen!” Van Dyke snapped.
“Run and kneel in front of her,” whispered nearby Buffy. “Look at the floor until she says otherwise.”
The young sissy sprang to her feet and sprinted to the throne. She dropped to her knees with a painful, audible thump. As she studied the floorboard she grew more and more worried as to why she was singled out. What had she done?
“Look at me, Jen,” the headmistress said.
The sissy’s black hair fell to the sides as she lifted her face to the headmistress’ gaze. She was relieved to see a big smile. “Yes, Mistress Trudy,” she said, like she had been instructed in classes. “How may a humble sissy serve her superior?”
“I have heard that you made excellent progress in Walking and your other classes.”
“A sissy is pleased if her mistress is happy with her.”
“Well! You are either already knowledgeable about BDSM etiquette and protocol, or someone has been coaching you. Do you already have knowledge? First person is okay for now.”
“Yes, Mistress. I read erotic books… Plus I had help.”
“Interesting,” Van Dyke said loudly. “And who here has been giving this young sissy lessons in submission?”
“That would be me, Mistress Trudy,” Clarissa replied.
“Approach!”
“Yes, Mistress.”
A moment later, Clarissa knelt next to Jen and faced the headmistress. The shemale confessed she was very fond of the babygirl sissy and only wanted to give her a head start because she saw her potential as a submissive. As her chosen future big sister she thought only of Jen’s progress.
“In other words, you took it upon yourself to determine the curriculum for a girl, without the authority. Clarissa, I do give you dominant transsexuals a fair amount of leeway but this… transgression…” She exhaled. “Demoted four weeks back.”
“Yes, Mistress,” Clarissa said.
“So it seems I have two girls here. One needs punishment and the other deserves reward. Hmmm. So you are attracted to young Jen, are you Clarissa?”
“I… yes, Mistress.”
The headmistress smiled sweetly at Jen. “I imagine it has been frustrating with your clitty all locked away. Would you like to cum, babygirl sissy Jen?”
“Oh please, Mistress!” Jen fairly whined.
“Good. Pull off your panties and stand facing Clarissa.”
Blushing but eager, her cock growing firm inside the cage, Jen did so. Her heart pounded with excitement as she watched her Clarissa follow orders to remove the cage, get on all fours and start kissing her cock. When it was fully hard, Clarissa began sucking it while she used her thumb to control orgasm.
“Oh! Oh! Clarissa, I love you!” Jen screamed.
Then Mistress Trudy got up, took a knee behind Clarissa and pulled her panties deep into the crack of her ass. She then began spanking the gorgeous blonde shemale with loud slaps that filled the room. The shemale’s eyes filled with tears while she gave Jen an expert blowjob.
At first Jen was deeply concerned and sorry for her friend, but then she saw a deep bliss fill Clarissa’s flushed face. She became convinced this actually turned her on, and she figured the shemale had a huge boner in her panties.
After ten minutes, Trudy Van Dyke stopped spanking the shemale and announced that the spectacle was going to end so everybody could go to dinner. She told Clarissa to permit Jen to cum and do whatever they need to do before they came to the dining room. At her order, the huge room began to empty.
As everyone left, Clarissa released her pressure point on the sissy’s genital root and began sucking the head like a lollipop. She cupped the young sissy’s balls, gently kneading them. Jen’s whimpers and moans built up to loud cries.
“I’m cumming! I’m cumming!”
After a week of buildup, her balls erupted and her prostate clenched, flooding Clarissa’s mouth. The shemale drank down the hot sissy’s load like the sweetest nectar. She gave Jen a toothy grin and sat back on her shapely round ass.
“Oh my! It’s so big!” Jen breathed.
Clarissa’s ten inches strained at her panties. She gazed from it to the avaricious gaze of her sissy little sister. She smiled even bigger as she told Jen, “The answer is yes, you may.” Then she took out her large, lovely fucktool.
Hang yourself
Can you imagine how successful a writer you need to be to even think about waiting on a website to follow up comment to your own work? Very big brain to spend your time so productively.
Warning! Crystal D. below is a scammer! She has continuously bought and reviewed her books to trick you into thinking they’re of good quality; however, even by looking at the cover you can see they’re poorly made, and are wastes of money. Never buy, you’ll be ripped off.
actually, amazon has safeguards against just that. but keep trying with your flimsy lies.
It really does not
In order to sell Amazon KDP books, the author must register their SSN. You need a credit/debit account to post comments on Amazon, so any fake accounts that try to review the author’s book are automatically rejected. Be more certain of your facts before you make claims/lie.
shut up you fucking troglodyte
Lil’ obese chris turd burglar / crusty douche vacant
Why don’t you spam you’re chad daddy’s twitter?
With you inbread faggotry ‘novels’?
You proclaim to be a woman, but the fact is, your just a faggot troll
Who really needs to comit suicide
Fucking do it!
UR NOT FOOLING ANY1, KING MONKEY MAN
Oh if it isn’t little chris turd burglar, you numbskull troll cunt
Tell me, why do you post as anon?
And by the way, monkey mon avatar is YOU
It’s a mystery why you argue with yourself online
I reckon if’s because you are mentally ill and lonely faggot
Anywho…
Here is a small sample of YOUR profiles / Persona’s
You know;
Christeeny
Dumb fuck educator – Dumpster faggot ebola
Crystal d veeyant – Crusty douche vacant
Christeeny himself – Chris pretends to be female
The cheat – The cyst
King monkey mon – Kike monotone
Ichigo
Jake paul fan
Tenza something of destrution
So…
As mentioned before, kill yourself in a near future!
This is a PSA
How tf do you know that King Monkey Mon is all these other people?
He doesn’t. He’s just a creepy little otaku incel with no other life.
Well Me3
If we are going to get technical.
It’s vice versa – the original bitch boy chris is monkey cunt
Now..
Chris modus operandi
Is simple, yet very confusing
When ever someone would speak ill about his chad daddy, this faggot goes ape shit.
If this is a act, or if he is genuine obsessed with chatböy I do not know
Crusty inbred insults would consists of:
Insecurity about your sexuality ( triggered by typing faggot, or just because you don’t find a guy with fake tits attractive )
When the dosent have any comeback comment this is the next move:
Correcting grammar
Correcting spelling errors
Trash talks about how awful your english is
And 9 out 10 times he ends hes faggotry rants with:
Now go fuck your mother, father, sister, dog, ect. some more.
( This is FYI is the shit, this homo rants about most incest, guy’s with tits, )
* if you notice the 8-11 times he posted his faggot ‘novels’ just in this post*
When he impersonate your name
Then you know you gotten under he’s obese, greasy skin
Though he has changed his style somewhat
– pedo, scat & Japanese culture ‘insults’
To be continued
Imagine having to be such a faggot that you come back just to respond to other ppl you inbred piece of shit go ducking hang yourself bitch you lick the cum off the motherfucking floor like the cuck faggot bitch you are
Feeling salty lil’ obese chrissy?
Tell me, what is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
Didn’t your dead whore mommy and deadbeat daddy show you enough attention when you were a child
Now if you think about, I know, the screaming voices in your fat pig skull
Must be difficult to ignore but listen…
If you are asked a question, it’s only natural to respond
It’s like human nature
So.. Cunt face, enlighten me
How does this make me
A faggot, just because i’ve replied to a comment?
Fucking retard
snort battery acid
Your success is evident in the desperation of your posts.
Very successful writers do this.
Lmao the comment section is a dumpster fire
Learn to read people, it’s in the description.
Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then.
Yo, You should totally do Lily fron At&t next. The holy milk wagon 🥛🥛🥛🥛
what the fuck is your problem you filthy fucking incel
The fact that your on this site makes you an incel
“Lily” from AT&T is a filthy Jew from Uzbekistan. Just search Milana Vayntrub if you don’t believe me. Cease your simping at once.
Any femboys or t-girls here?
Kik: Wxvy.2000
Pleaase no bots!
interesting to see a bot say, “please no bots”
Dah! No robo here! Is just Real Human American
He put out a tweet yesterday and in the thread below he talked about when he’d be back here the linkhttps://twitter.com/Shadbase/status/1298138305888841728?s=19
Is shadman ok? did the corona get him?, hopenot i enjoy his work. if he be dead my poster collection will remain small.
If he’s dead – you should sell that shit while people still care who he was.
“And when the world needed him most, He vanished.”
Buh-Bye!
Buh Bye!
Any femboy,tomboy,sissy or woman wanna trade pics hit me up on
Kik-DDomino756
Snap-domino5098
Can you give me an N ?
N
F
Kik me @FrozenParticle if you wanna press your tip in between some boy cheeks and maybe kiss them. no weirdos
The so-called “Prophet” Muhammed:
1. Was illiterate;
2. Was a murderer;
3. Was a warmonger (his military gear included 9 swords, 1 quiver, 6 bows, 5 spears, 7 pieces of armour, 2 helmets, and 2 shields);
4. Was a sinner (40:55; 47:19; 48:1f, 94:1-3);
5. Married a 6-year old when he was 49-years old and had sex with her when she was a 9-year old and he was 52-years old – by modern standards, a paedophile ;
6. Made her scrape his dried semen off soiled bedclothes with her nails;
7. Slept with 9-11 women in one night (and did not bathe between each conquest);
8. Married at least 11 women, whereas the Qur’an specifically limits the number of wives a Muslim man can marry to 4 – 4:3 (of course, he made a convenient exemption for himself – 33:4, 37-40);
9. Permitted a married man to rent a woman for sex in exchange for money for up to 3 nights; mut’a / musta’jara marriage (it is nothing but prostitution and adultery) – Surah 4:24 and Sahih al-Bukhari;
10. Held that, if a man has divorced his wife [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until she has married another husband other than him, and then if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], the woman and her former husband can return to each other – Surah 2:230 (in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, they have an office which can find a man to sleep with your wife so you can marry her again – what kind of religion is this?);
11. Stuck his tongue in a young boy’s mouth (pervert);
12. Made sexual comments regarding a new-born child (pervert) ;
13. Flew on a donkey-like creature from Mecca to Jerusalem (possibly under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug) ;
14. Prayed towards Jerusalem for the first five years of his ‘prophethood’ and NOT Mecca;
15. Condoned the rape of female captives (booty);
16. Traded in, and kept, African slaves (the Islamic sources name them);
17. Made derogatory/racist remarks about blacks (raisin heads and donkeys, destined for hell);
18. Called for the violent subjugation of the non-believing world (power-hungry megalomaniac);
19. Supervised the beheading of 600-900 captured Jewish males of the Banu Qurayza tribe (including both combatants and non-combatants);
20. Called for the execution of anyone who left Islam;
21. Did NOT perform miracles ;
22. Did NOT prophecy ;
23. Was historically inaccurate (he was ignorant);
24. Was scientifically inaccurate (he was ignorant);
25. Copied details of embryology from three sources: 1. A Greek doctor named Galen, who lived of 150 AD. 2. A Jewish doctor named Samuel ha-Yehudi who lived 150 AD. 3. the Greek father of medicine Hippocrates who lived 400 BC;
26. Said that man was created from ejected liquid- Proceeding from between the backbone and the rib (This echoes the scientific error of Hippocrates who believed semen originates, from the brain down the spinal cord, before passing through the kidneys and finally out of the body) – (Hamza Tzortzis, a Muslim academic, has accepted that there are NO scientific miracles in the Qur’an);
27. Copied the scientific facts of the hydrologic water cycle directly from the Bible (Job 36:27-28, Job 26:8, Ecclesiastes 11:3; Ecclesiastes 1:6-7, Amos 9:6);
28. Was contradictory (abrogation);
29. Got angry when questioned about his inconsistencies (he knew has was making things up as he went along to suit HIS prevailing needs);
30. Was an adulterer (he married his adopted son’s wife);
31. Was visited by a demon in a cave (the Satanic verses incident constituted a standard element in the historical memory of the Muslim community in the first 150 years of Islam and was recorded by almost all prominent scholars working in the fields of tafsir and sirah-maghazi – *over 50 reports*)
32. Commanded Christians to follow the Bible they possessed in 600 AD in Surahs 2:89 and 7:157 (it is Muslims who quote Surah 2:79 to support their allegation that ALL Hebrew scriptures were corrupted – see also 2:40-42, 126, 136, 285 and 3:3,71, 93 and 4:47, 136 and 5:47-51, 69, 71-72 and 6:91 and 10:37, 94 and 21:7 and 29:45, 46 and 35:31 and 46:1);
33. Plagiarised parts of the Christian scriptures and was influenced by Jewish/Gnostic folklore (demonstrably provable);
34. Totally misunderstood the concept of the Trinity (because he was ignorant);
35. At one point told Muslims to worship al-Lat, al-Uzza and Manat because he wanted better relations and reconciliation with his estranged community – they were considered to be daughters of God – (53:19,20);
36. Was murdered by Zaynab bint Al-Harith with poisoned lamb to prove he was NOT a prophet (Muhammad said, “I feel as if my aorta is being cut”, having previously stated that God would severe this life vein if he changed God’s revelation);
37. Was NOT a prophet of Holy God; and
38. The list goes on and on and on…….
Imagine thinking anybody gives a shit about your personal beliefs on a fucking porn site of all things. Just jack off and move on with your day.
no
That was interesting to read.Thank you
Gotta a link where I can verify these “facts”, interested.
wow even with all that stuff its crazy that hes the only true profit adn jesus didnt even really exist.
I like to imagine long, insane, bullshit posts here as the page breaks
No one gives a shit bitch boy
This was bond to happen you see it with many creaters today they stop creating for what they believed in, changed their work to avoid controversy then once the reason they created goes they’ll stop enjoying what they do only continuing because they feel like they have to, like they ow their fans they’ll take a “short” break, comeback stay for a little leave and come back over and over slowly fans will become tired of this become angry and leave then the creator has nothing to come back to, and so they don’t.
Your grade school English teacher should be fired for passing an illiterate along to the next grade level. The only thing you’re worse at is psychoanalyzing artists. True artists move on, they don’t keep copying themselves forever. True fans stick with them; assholes who pretend to be fans call them sell-outs and whine about the “good old days.”
Just don’t come back. There’s nothing for you here.
White boy’s real mad, please stay in the corner with your Shäd daddy. Thank you!
found the nog
Uh oh, someone doesn’t understand this website very much
Any traps or femboys hmu on Kik: Numbpyro44
Nvm
POOP: poop.
Tell me more
Have you ever once felt more like?
Looking for a sugar daddy to spoil me rotten, add me on insta samanth03uwu
whore
Whore!!!
Whore!!!!
whore!!!!!
Whore!!!!!!!!
WHORE!!!!!!
broke whore
WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!
W H O R E
Almost 2 months
Ever since that legal trouble way back and all the attention his spat with Keem brought him, this site has been straight up dead. Since then there have been a lot more artists coming out that do way better parody porn art and honestly are more dedicated to completing work and comissions. It’s seemed like nothing but a kind of sad decline in both frequency and quality from Shad. Memes and jokes are his primary flavor now, meaning shadbase is just a refugee site for shitlords that find Shad’s edgy political commentary comics a place where they can pretend 4chan is still alive. The fact other porn parody artists have easily found places on the internet to exist proves that this is all just a matter of a loss of passion, and that happens, but for god sakes just archive the site and finally put the toe tag on the bastard so everyone will just move on. It’s sad at this point to keep pretending like shadbase isn’t just a skeleton site Shad probably has trouble even remembering exists. The product he makes, porn parody art, is clearly just super forced garbage at this point so the fact any of this is still standing is just baffling to the umpteenth degree.
Give us some of these artists names!!!
SO GO TO THOSE OTHER SITES INSTEAD OF CRYING HERE, DICK SPEW
Fred Parry
I know what you mean but shad drew a nun that is so irresistible that i have to cum to it everyday, (sinfully haram 2 is what i’m talking about) i can’t find any other artist that draw nuns that don’t look so much from an anime and irl nuns just don’t do look the same way
” a refugee site for shitlords”
…and smug, worthless assholes like you
poo jizz poo yeah
Let’s get this to 6969 comments
shut up
Bruh we at 4.5k
“Been taking on a bit of work that interests me outside of shadbase so my drawing efforts are divided and ill do simpler styles here again so I can still post something every now and then.”
I feel like noone read this he will come back when gets in the mood but I’m sure he’s not gonna post because people keep complaining so just assume he won’t be back for a real long time
Any idea what he’s working on? Did the Swiss police decide to forgive his crimes and alow him to become a proper artist?
i expected him to come back with a drawing of lily from at&t😔
Bro if he draws the at&t girl then this whole wait will be worth it
Any femboy,sissy or woman wanna trade pics hit me up on
Kik-DDomino756
Snap-domino5098
add my kik Judester616 lookin for femboys or big hard dicks
Y’all are fuckin retards, he found other work to do than draw porn 🤣🤣🤣
sr-es-1-a1c6efa29f89223f8c768c494a17113ed009cdc0
I dont belive he died i just believe he has lost his inspiration to create new art, and thats ok! Many artist go through a period of “art block” as they call it even i have. Ii just hope he gets back into the swing of things, because his creativity is good for him and my penis. Goodnight LA
Air raid, I slang the math raider nation, black cab
Psychic radio also known as
Only channel in our mobile lab
I got that priceless touch, won’t cost you a fucking thing
Biter appear instantly, got pigs to feed
You see my pimp, she’s pissed at me
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Acquire this link, it’s a ringer
Cop my steeze, make yours much fresher or whatever
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Flock of pigeons come
I got crumbs, biters, bob, and slum
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Feeds the gank move
Biters eat the gank move, fuck with me
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Feeds the gank move
Biters eat the gank move, fuck with me
Fuck with me
I keep my street the same
Pave these potholes see no rain
Lately I seen rain fall close range
Ain’t no thing too clean don’t bang, besides
Can’t trust a man with cream as white
As hundred clean cocaine
I’m custom like you like
Biters in my sights
I got that priceless touch
I got that priceless touch
Aye doe, bite that, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe
Aye doe, bite that, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe
I got that priceless touch
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Feeds the gank move
Biters eat the gank move, fuck with me
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Feeds the gank move
Biters eat the gank move, fuck with me
I hardly notice them
I toss all bums generous portion of my goat
But I keep the bones
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Mastered by me magnified
My laughter fed back through your swine
Your forehead tat my hazmat tag
Serpent coil egg and flag
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Twins sat rows all identical
Not seen as a threat or so we’ve been told
I hold the key, I blame the key
Made me defame the mold
Aye doe, bite that, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe
I got that priceless touch
Aye doe, bite that, aye doe, aye doe, aye doe
I got that priceless touch
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Feeds the gank move
Biters eat the gank move, fuck with me
Aye doe, bite that
Aye doe, aye doe, aye doe, bite that
Feeds the gank move
Biters eat the gank move, fuck with me
thank u mr ride
You must be smoking rocks
We took him for advantage and now he is gone :(
lol how the fuck did we take advantage of him? The guy literally made hundreds of thousands of dollars from this website even though he barely ever finished his best work and went from being an amazing artist to a shit tier low effort artist. If anything he took advantage of us because he’d be nowhere without an audience…
i think he means we took him for granted
I think he means granite.
I think he means we took him for granite.
Once upon a time
There was this faggot named chadböy
Lil’ chad was a cunt, who was afraid to draw, gore, scat & loli
So he thought, perhaps dick’s on poor chicks / guy’s with tits
Mabey, all the fags will come suck my dick
Suddenly chadbase became a becon for filthy faggots
And mentally ill little bitch boys who jerks of to my little pony shows
The site was dead
Then lil’ chattyböy killed him self because of the ebola aids
Eat shit now
are u ok fam
hi king monkey man, you fuckwit
Oh if it isn’t little chris turdburglar, you numbskull troll cunt
Why are you not using one of you profiles?
You know;
Dumb fuck educator – Dumpster faggot ebola
Crystal d vee – Crusty douche
Chris teeny himself – Chris pretends to be female
The cyst – the cheat
Monkey mon – Kike monotone
Ichigo
Jake paul fan
So…
Please kill yourself in a near future
Wow, the difference in quality from Page 5 to Page 1 in Archives. Just click back and forth sometime. Then find another invested artist.
Buh-Bye!
Wait is he dead wat
Will we see The Last of us 2 from you
He ded?
Pls show us end of dolphin comix. Love u.
he died guys, just go away and accept the fact that he is no longer among us
What a nigger
Gary come home~
I was wrong~
I messed up, and now you’re gone~
Same here
Man i hope you’re doing allright now
hol up, 7734 on the register? mad respect if that references what i think it does
?
I hate muslims .I’ll rape and break your daughters
Fuck Chadboy
Fuck jhadbase
Eat shit and die
Fucking tired of all these Kik comments
Anyways, sissy femboy here. Reddit: u/enter_the_psychopomp
Fucking tired of all these Kik comments
Anyways, sissy femboy here. Reddit: u/enter_the_psychopomp
Shadman? I haven’t heard that name in years…
Kik: shedudusu femboys and twinks preferred
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? – Barry? – Adam? – Oan you believe this is happening? – I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. – You got lint on your fuzz. – Ow! That’s me! – Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. – Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! – Hey, Adam. – Hey, Barry. – Is that fuzz gel? – A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. – Hi, Barry. – Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. – Hear about Frankie? – Yeah. – You going to the funeral? – No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. – Well, Adam, today we are men. – We are! – Bee-men. – Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. – Wonder what it’ll be like? – A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! – That girl was hot. – She’s my cousin! – She is? – Yes, we’re all cousins. – Right. You’re right. – At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. – What do you think he makes? – Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. – What does that do? – Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. – Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! – Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. – Hey, Jocks! – Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! – I wonder where they were. – I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. – Oouple of Hive Harrys. – Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! – Oh, my! – I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. – Six miles, huh? – Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. – Maybe I am. – You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? – Well, there’s a lot of choices. – But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! – Barry, you are so funny sometimes. – I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! – You’re gonna be a stirrer? – No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. – We’re starting work today! – Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… – Is it still available? – Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. – What’d you get? – Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. – You want to go first? – No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. – Any chance of getting the Krelman? – Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? – I’m going out. – Out? Out where? – Out there. – Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. – Look at that. – Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. – Thank you. – OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! – That’s awful. – And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. – Antennae, check. – Nectar pack, check. – Wings, check. – Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! – Ever see pollination up close? – No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! – Guys! – This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. – Should we tell him? – I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! – Do something! – I’m driving! – Hi, bee. – He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. – Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? – Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. – You could put carob chips on there. – Bye. – Supposed to be less calories. – Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. – You’re talking. – Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. – I’m talking with a bee. – Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. – Wait! How did you learn to do that? – What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. – That’s very funny. – Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? – Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. – It’s just coffee. – I hate to impose. – Don’t be ridiculous! – Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? – I shouldn’t. – Have some. – No, I can’t. – Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. – Where? – These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. – You do? – Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. – Really? – My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. – Why do girls put rings on their toes? – Why not? – It’s like putting a hat on your knee. – Maybe I’ll try that. – You all right, ma’am? – Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. – Thanks! – Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. – Sounds amazing. – It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. – Do they try and kill you, like on TV? – Some of them. But some of them don’t. – How’d you get back? – Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. – Well… – Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? – A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! – No, no, no, not a wasp. – Spider? – I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. – Her name’s Vanessa. – Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? – They call it a crumb. – It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! – You know what a Oinnabon is? – No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! – Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! – Thinking bee. – Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! – We’re still here. – I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! – Then why yell at me? – Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. – Where are you going? – I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. – What is wrong with you?! – It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. – I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. – I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? – Is he that actor? – I never heard of him. – Why is this here? – For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? – Well, yes. – How do you get it? – Bees make it. – I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! – It’s organic. – It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. – You almost done? – Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. – And you? – He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! – What is that?! – Oh, no! – A wiper! Triple blade! – Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! – Bee! – Moose blood guy!! – You hear something? – Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. – Bees hang tight. – We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. – What if you get in trouble? – You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! – Hey, guys! – Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y’all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. – Oheck out the new smoker. – Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. – What? – Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. – You wish you could. – Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! – That would hurt. – No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. – Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. – And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard ’em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. – Is that that same bee? – Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. – Hello. – Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go ’cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. – Frosting… – How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. – Oh, those just get me psychotic! – Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. – This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. – I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. – What’s the matter? – I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us ’cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? – No. – I couldn’t hear you. – No. – No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. – Where have I heard it before? – I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! – Order in this court! – You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! – Say it! – Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. – Ken! – Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. – What’s that? – Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! – You’re bluffing. – Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. – You got the tweezers? – Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. – Good friends? – Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? – Yeah, but… – So those aren’t your real parents! – Oh, Barry… – Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y’all date your cousins? – Objection! – I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! – Adam, stay with me. – I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. – Hey, buddy. – Hey. – Is there much pain? – Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? – Why? – The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? – What are we gonna do? – He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. – What if Montgomery’s right? – What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! – I think we need to shut down! – Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? – Are they out celebrating? – They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? – What did you want to show me? – This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? – I’ll sting you, you step on me. – Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? – Roses are flowers! – Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. – Bees. – Park. – Pollen! – Flowers. – Repollination! – Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. – Where should I sit? – What are you? – I believe I’m the pea. – The pea? It goes under the mattresses. – Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. – I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. – You and your insect pack your float? – Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? – Remove your stinger. – It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. – What’d you say, Hal? – Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? – Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! – Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! – Is that another bee joke? – No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. – Who’s that? – Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. – Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? – Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” – Get this on the air! – Got it. – Stand by. – We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. – Black and yellow! – Hello! Left, right, down, hover. – Hover? – Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. – That may have been helping me. – And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – Hold it! – Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. – Black and yellow. – Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. – Thinking bee. – Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. – What? – I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! – What in the world is on the tarmac? – Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! – Vanessa, aim for the flower. – OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! – Not that flower! The other one! – Which one? – That flower. – I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. – This is insane, Barry! – This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! – Yes. No high-five! – Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! – Thank you. – But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. – When will this nightmare end?! – Let it all go. – Beautiful day to fly. – Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. – Thinking bee! – Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
Tl’dr
Tl’dr
Snort battery acid
Anyone HMU on Kik horny cuz quarantine Kik @Korutesuu
I think I’m gay my previous girlfriend was a pain in the ass but I’m dating a trans chick now and she’s way easier to talk to.
Warning! Crystal D. Below is a scammer! People have reported that they never got what they askJed for, in fact 50% of all sales this book made were unaccounted for. Amazon did refund the money but it would make them look bad if they got rid of any LBGT content. Never buy, you’ll be ripped off!
Does it hurt to be as stupid as you are? Amazon books like these are print-on-demand or Kindle downloads, so what you claim ca never happen. It is a LIE. You’re just mad because you’re barely literate.
MOM’S TRUCKSTOP SHEMALE
Louise is an eighteen year old shemale on the run from her stepdad, Steve, who wants to try to turn her back into a guy. Fortunately, Louise has Norma—her stepdad’s wife—to rescue her. When Norma was Louise’s age she’d been a Hollywood prostitute, giving her the street smarts to help them survive. Because Steve is a rich, powerful man, Norma and Louise must go deep underground as truck stop “lot lizards”—whores.
Wanting to spare Louise the truth about her actual mother, Norma has pretended to be “Mom” even though they’re not related. Until now both have suppressed their mutual desire because Louise doesn’t know the truth that Norma can’t bring herself to reveal. Yet they face ultimate temptation when a john offers to pay top dollar to see them make love. Can they maintain their loving relationship without crossing the imaginary line? Can they continue to elude Steve on that desert highway?
This latest book from Crystal Veeyant is a full-fledged novella of 38,500 words, and packed with the most deliciously naughty erotica, filled with twists, turns, drama, humor and pathos. It is a deep journey into erotica, the nature of lust, love, rebellion against social convention, and a young transsexual woman coming of age. It is erotic literature for those who love a good on the wild side. Warning: this story is erotic fiction with explicit descriptions of sex acts. It is intended only for ADULT readers.
REVIEWS
Verified Purchase
Despite the step-father’s criminal actions and the actuality of prostitution, this has to be one of the hotest books I have ever read. Its well written, a fun format; working back and forth from the first person perspective of the mother and Louise. But it’s the sex that sets this book apart. Louise and her one time male best friend Josh.( and the explination that josh isn’t gay, and he’s not Lou anymore) How many gurls haven’t dreamed of that one. Louise and her desire for her step-mother, and the forced oral with her step-father. I know my panties had a tent the size of Pike’s Peak while i read this one. Good porn is suppose to titalate and intrigue. This did more than that. This book kept me steaming for weeks after. Like an old love, every time I thought about it I had to duck in the bathroom for relief so my feeling wouldn’t show thru my dress. Highly reccomended!!
Verified Purchase
Talk about something different: The romance bloomed out of incest with a transgendered teen: I tell you that this is a different book with ends and outs: Mom is short bomb shell who had a trans bomb shell.These two go on an adventure of a lifte time due to no fault of their own: Forced out of their home and into the street: No money, no resources, these two women find what they need between them: The ending will blow your mind
EXCERPT
Louise followed suit. She was now dressed identically to me. A low cut tank top, no bra, and cutoff jeans that left a generous amount of asscheeks hanging out. Her sexy stretch was a carbon copy of mine, displaying that tight little body of hers to the maximum. She was catching on fast.
“Perhaps you ladies might join me in here for a moment? Discuss some business?”
Soon we sat on the soft leather seats in the back area of a huge, spacious limo. Chester had “executive” or “politician” written all over him. He was cultured and gentlemanly and clearly very rich. While he endeavored to be polite his eyes kept darting to my baby, who took every opportunity to show off her hot body without peeling back a stitch of clothing.
I felt good about Chester but I was a bit sorry for Louise, who was about to learn one of the unlovely truths about prostitution—not all of your johns were young or looked like Brad Pitt or even Martin from this morning. I was about to ask him what he wanted, prepared to dig in my heels for no less than three hundred for Louise, when he dropped the bomb on us.
“I don’t want to have sex with either of you two ladies. I just like to watch. How much to see the two of you… enjoy each other?”
Louise blushed deeply. Was that because she’d been embarrassed or because she was glad for that kiss? Even more shocking was the possibility that she’d been glad for our deep kiss. That made me hornier than I can ever remember being. But she was my baby! Did she and I really want to venture down that forbidden road?
She’s not really your baby, is she now?
I pushed the rationalization out of my head. It didn’t matter what I knew, because it was about what Louise knew. As far as she was concerned I was her true, biological mother and she’d been through enough already. “Chester. I—we can’t do that. She’s my daughter.”
“I know. But I also know about a kiss that happened earlier today that made two truckers very, very excited.”
“That was a moment of weakness. I shouldn’t have—”
“Mom! I want to do it.”
Now I was getting hornier, if that was even possible. But I had to be strong.
“I’m sorry, baby, I have to put my foot down. There’s a difference between a moment of weakness and what I believe this gentleman would like to see us do together.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Chester said, pulling out his wallet. “Let’s just talk this over like sensible business people.” He withdrew a stack if bills and counted out at least half of them, ten hundred dollar bills, and dropped them onto the cool leather.
I was in a small daze, looking at one thousand dollars in cash.
“Mom…” I heard Louise say, as if from a distance.
I licked my lips. “Well, maybe… but, there are certain things we will not do.”
Chester smiled patiently and then reached into an inside pocket of his jacket to retrieve an envelope. Now a one-thousand dollar bill had joined the pile of hundreds. “Maybe we can discuss those ‘certain things’ now, Norma. What do you and your shemale daughter have to say to two thousand dollars for an hour long show right here, right now?”
I looked at my pre-op transsexual daughter, Louise, who stared in awe at the pile of money.
* * *
There was two grand in big bills sitting on the seat, and Chester had just asked Mom and me to make my biggest fantasy ever come true. I used to feel guilty when I started dreaming about it two years ago but I got past the guilt because I told myself it was only a fantasy that would never ever happen. Lots of people, maybe even most people fantasize about stuff they wouldn’t really want to happen, so why should I feel bad masturbating to a fantasy about making love with my mom?
Maybe it was because part of me really, really wanted it to happen?
That surprise deep kiss we had in Martin and Chris’ sleeper cab, when I was fucking Chris and Martin was fucking me, it turned me on so much. I can still feel those soft full lips of Mom’s on mine, her moist tongue and mine sweetly, passionately playing with each other. I could die right now and that kiss will live with me forever. I can’t help but think she really meant that kiss because of how turned on I’ve seen her get when she sees me having sex with somebody. Maybe she wants it just as bad as me but feels guilty about wanting it like I used to.
When we got out of Martin and Chris’s truck, I felt this weird vibe from her, like only maybe she felt really bad about it. Maybe she was more worried that I felt bad about it? Or maybe she felt bad because she’s the parent and isn’t supposed to have those feelings?
Well I say, fuck “supposed.” We’re not supposed to be on the run from a man who should be rotting in jail, who wants to lock me up and try to turn me back into a boy. Mom and I are not supposed to suddenly be hated by nearly everybody in the town I grew up in, just because they learned I’m a transsexual girl.
I don’t know about much anything else, but I know my love for my mother is the only pure and right thing I know. I have always admired her energy and her beauty, which may be partly why I transitioned. My mom is a totally gorgeous babe, even at 37. Any other bisexual or lesbian girl would want to fuck her, so why is it so terribly wrong for me to be attracted to her in that way, even if she is my mom? However, if it would make her feel bad to do this, if it would change her love for me for the worse, then I would have to resist this feeling. Up until now I wished I knew for sure.
Now maybe I find out, because here’s two thousand dollars in cash. I tried to tell myself that Mom and I could just do like I’ve heard some hookers and strippers, put on a big show for the customer without getting emotionally involved. The thing is, I already am involved. I want to make love to my own mother and some guy has just offered us more money than we usually make in three whole days. I guess I should just leave it up to her.
Chester looked at my mom to reply to his proposal—an hour of sex between her and me, right here in the back of this nice limo in front of this true gentleman. Mom licked her lips again, looking at the pile of money.
“Well, maybe I guess we could do some other stuff too, but—”
“No, buts, Norma.”
Suddenly I couldn’t help myself, and I couldn’t let Mom’s guilt blow this opportunity for us. I reached over her with both hands and picked up the pile of cash, held them to my large A-sized breasts. “We’ll do it, Mister,” I declared. “But straight sex only. No deep kink, okay?”
Chester leaned back and smiled. “That would be acceptable to me. Norma?”
Mom looked at me half in protest, half with desire. “Baby, we can’t. We shouldn’t.”
I dropped the money between the two of us, gently took her hands in mine and gazed deeply into her eyes to try to convey all of the longing and passion and tenderness I could. “Mom, I love you so much. You’re so beautiful and sexy, and I’ve wanted to do this with you forever. I could never feel bad about it. I know I wouldn’t. And I don’t want you to feel bad about it either. You turn me on more than any woman or man in the world, and I want to make love with you more than anything else.” And with that I leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips and allowed my mouth to linger, hoping she would kiss back.
She did, very deeply. I felt her tongue start to probe my lips but then she pulled back. “We can’t do this, baby,” she said, her eyes filling with tears, “it’s wrong.”
“Shhh. Shhh,” I soothed, kissing those eyelids softly. “I love you and I say it’s right. I’ve thought about this for two years, and I want to make love to you. And nobody can tell me that’s wrong.”
“I love you too, baby. Oh, so much. But there’s so much you don’t know.”
“I… don’t… care. Nothing can make me not want this—not want you. And… I think you want me too. Don’t you?”
She looked down, blushing deeply. “Yes. I—I’m just afraid of what will happen.”
“Nothing will happen except we’ll be even closer. Don’t you want to be closer to me, Mom?”
“Y-yes,” she admitted, looking at me with a tenderness and passion emerging out of the fear and shame I’d seen in her eyes just a moment ago.
“Then trust me, Mom.”
Warning this person is a con artist who will steal your money! People have reported that they never got what they askJed for, in fact 50% of all sales this book made were unaccounted for. Amazon did refund the money but it would make them look bad if they got rid of any LBGT content. Never buy, you’ll be ripped off
Hang yourself
Hang yourself
Here’s hoping the fucker got a real job.
I haven’t jerked off since his last post. And I’m not gonna nut until his next sexual post. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS I”M CUMMING TO IT.
Don’t hurt yourself
What a legend
can teenage boy get some booty pics at @hi_its_justin
Is shad finally dead
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⠀⢠⣤⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠿⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⣤⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠿⠿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠤⠤⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣄⡀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⢉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢉⣩⣭⣭⣭⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡟⠋⠉⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣾⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣾⣏⠀⠀⣹⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest 👨🏿🦲🐣 to take his Kanye Rest 👨🏿🦲😴. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best 👨🏿🦲👌. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed 👨🏿🦲👕 into his Kanye Vest 👨🏿🦲🦺 to go on a Kanye Quest 👨🏿🦲🏃♂️. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed 👨🏿🦲🙏 , then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest 👨🏿🦲🧳. Then to school to take his Kanye Test 👨🏿🦲📝. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest 👨🏿🦲🧴? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest 👨🏿🦲🦟.”After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest 👨🏿🦲🐣 to take his Kanye Rest 👨🏿🦲😴. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best 👨🏿🦲👌. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed 👨🏿🦲👕 into his Kanye Vest 👨🏿🦲🦺 to go on a Kanye Quest 👨🏿🦲🏃♂️. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed 👨🏿🦲🙏 , then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest 👨🏿🦲🧳. Then to school to take his Kanye Test 👨🏿🦲📝. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest 👨🏿🦲🧴? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest 👨🏿🦲🦟.”
when? Why?